Eighteen weeks after Lee's death.
It had been a long week for Alex. She had to drive to Billings for two days of training. It was cold, icy winds blowing in the east part of the state, and she left her large coat back at the ranch. So, she had to buy a new one.
Now, she was pulling up next to the main lodge, tired and in desperate need of her bed. Grabbing her bag she made her way inside, hating that she had missed supper but hopeful there would be leftovers somewhere. She dropped her bag and boots off in her room before she walked back downstairs to investigate. It was quiet in the house, almost eleven at night would do that. The fire was smaller now in the living room as Alex passed it. Walking up to the fridge she opened the door and squinted in the bright light. There were a few things she could make a steak sandwich out of. It was something at least.
As she placed the top piece of bread over the filling, a shadow cast itself over the kitchen island. Alex looked up at saw Kayce standing there in a black shirt and plain pajama bottoms. He looked tired like he either was about to fall asleep or had been woken up.
"Hey," Alex whispered, placing her knife down after she cut her sandwich in half.
"When d'you get back?" Kayce walked over, rubbing his eyes.
"Just a little bit ago," Alex kept her voice low. "Thought everyone was asleep."
"Almost," Kayce leaned in as Alex rose on her toes to share a slow kiss. "How was Billings?"
"Cold," Alex frowned.
"The whole state is cold," Kayce smiled at her.
"It was fine...long and boring, but it's done now," Alex took a bite of her sandwich. "Just glad there were leftovers."
"Yeah?" Kayce reached out and rubbed Alex's back as she nodded. "Glad you're home."
"I know," She smiled. "Usually, it's you off galloping across the state."
"Yeah, I don't really like waiting on you," Kayce leaned against the counter as Alex ate.
"Get back to me, I've got a few good weeks on you," Alex giggled with her mouth full. "Where were you sleeping? I didn't see you in my room?"
"In the room, I've been in," Kayce nodded.
"Oh," Alex thought it funny. "How was your day?"
"I got to see Tate briefly," Kayce smiled.
"Oh yeah?" Alex mimicked his grin. "How was he?"
"Good," Kayce nodded. "He's excited to come stay with us for Thanksgiving this week."
"Oh God," Alex looked shocked. "I totally forgot it was Thanksgiving!"
"We've all been busy," Kayce tilted his head. "Still feel like celebrating with us?"
"Of course," Alex nodded. "Why?"
"Uh...well, I didn't know given your family's heritage and all," Kayce shrugged.
Alex gave him a look.
"Just trying to be respectful here," Kayce smirked.
"Half of my family," Alex pointed out. "But the thought of a good meal with you and Tate far outweighs my thoughts on colonialism, reservations, and all those conversations."
"What happened to my rebel?" Kayce smirked.
"She's still in here," Alex finished her sandwich. "She's just...picking her fights better now."
"Come to bed," Kayce yawned. "I wanna hold you."
"Give me a minute," Alex quickly cleaned up her mess around the kitchen while Kayce waited at the doorway.
He turned the lights off and followed Alex upstairs to her room. She turned her nightstand light on and started to unpack her things as Kayce lay down in the bed. He tucked his arms under his pillow as Alex went into the bathroom to get ready. Her body was tired as she washed her face. By the time she walked out, Kayce was almost passed out himself.
She turned the light off and crawled into the bed, snuggling up to Kayce's side. He pulled his arm out and wrapped it around her. It was quiet in the house as Alex listened to Kayce fall asleep, joining him soon after.
**
"I don't understand, how did you not see the branch, Jimmy?" Alex asked as she cleaned up Jimmy's forehead.
"I was looking at the ground," Jimmy told her.
"Let the horse look at the ground," Alex leaned back to inspect her work. "You focus on what's coming so you can guide the horse."
"I guess," Jimmy shrugged.
"Alright," Alex wiped away the remaining blood from Jimmy's skin. "You're good to go, but it'll need another cleaning tomorrow."
"Thanks, Alex," Jimmy stood up and walked out of the stall.
Alex cleaned up her station and put away a few items before sitting down at her laptop. She went over her second supply order, making sure to add gauze and a few more items this time around.
"Hey," Kayce was leaning against the stall door with a smile on his lips.
"Hey," Alex said. "What're you doing home early?"
"I was gonna go grab Tate," Kayce shrugged. "Wanted to see if you'd want to come with me and we could grab supper on the way back?"
"Oh...um, are you sure?" Alex lowered her laptop.
"Only if you want to, babe," Kayce didn't change his smile.
"I don't know, Kayce," Alex sighed.
"Divorce is finalized tomorrow morning when the lawyers press submit," Kayce said, holding onto the stall door and leaning back. "Wanted it done before the holiday."
"What?" Alex stood up from her chair.
"Yeah," Kayce nodded. "Just got off the phone with Jamie on my way here."
"You're...it's over?" Alex asked, walking over to stand in front of Kayce on her side of the door.
"Tomorrow morning," Kayce nodded. "But yeah."
Alex had to push back the large smile that graced her face for a split second. She cleared her throat, knowing it was a bad taste for her to act like this. Kayce's eyes told her that, even though it was wanted...this wasn't and hadn't been easy.
"Are you fifty-fifty with Tate?" She asked him.
"Thirty-seventy during the school year, fifty-fifty in the summer," Kayce said. "Driving him to school on the res is gonna be a bitch though."
"Well..." Alex tried to find the silver lining. "It could be much worse."
"Could still be married," Kayce shrugged.
"I guess," Alex frowned.
Kayce smiled at her.
"Come with me to get Tate," Kayce pulled open the stall door.
"Hold on," Alex turned and grabbed her laptop, not liking to leave it in the barn after work.
She and Kayce walked over to his truck, Kayce opened the passenger door for Alex. It took a while to navigate on the highway, it was the end of the work day by the time they made it through and out toward the Reservation.
"If Monica attacks me, I'm blaming you," Alex muttered as she saw the sign approaching.
"She ain't gonna attack you," Kayce sighed.
"I have a bad feeling about this," Alex continued.
"You still came," Kayce told her.
"You asked," Alex said softly.
Kayce reached over and rubbed her thigh.
"Thank you," Kayce said as he turned down the road leading to Monica's trailer.
Kayce pulled up and they saw Tate sitting on the bottom step. Alex frowned as Tate stood up and grabbed his large bag.
"Where's Monica?" Alex asked as she and Kayce got out of the truck.
"Hey buddy," Kayce called out as Tate walked up to him. "Where's your mom?"
"Inside," Tate muttered.
"What's wrong?" Alex asked Tate.
"She yelled at me," Tate said as he walked to the backseat.
"Yelled at you?" Kayce asked before looking up at the trailer door where Monica now stood.
Alex suddenly felt like this had been a terrible idea for her to come here. Monica's eyes cut straight through Alex's anxieties.
"Get in the truck," Kayce told Tate as he walked over to where Monica was, stopping by the stairs.
Alex watched Tate get in and while she wanted to hide inside with him, she heard Monica and Kayce start talking.
"You said I could tell him," Kayce said.
"He asked the question," Monica shrugged.
"And you could have told him to ask me," Kayce sighed.
"Does it matter? It's done," Monica shrugged, her eyes looking over at Alex again.
"It does matter, and you know it," Kayce argued. "You're painting me out to be the only villain here. We talked about not doing that to one another, especially with Tate."
Alex swallowed as she listened on. Her hand was on the front of the truck, feeling the warmth from it.
"I'm not the one who filed," Monica shrugged, her whole demeanor was flippant. "I'm not the one who started all of this."
"You can't put that on me," Kayce took a step up. "We both agreed. This was always an agreement."
"It may have started that way," Monica shrugged.
"What happened to change it then?" Kayce sighed.
"Maybe when you decided to fuck her while you were still married?" Monica glared at Alex.
Now she felt like she was going to throw up. Kayce looked over at where Alex was, and his eyes held so much sorrow. Alex felt like her face had been slapped. She felt the bile in her stomach rise up her throat. Everything she had thought the past two months just received validation from Monica. Every kiss she had shared with Kayce now felt like a burn on her tongue. She felt horrible. She felt like she had ruined a marriage. She was a terrible person and woman.
"Hold on...that's not fair," Kayce looked back at Monica.
"Neither was what you did," Monica shrugged. "I want Tate back next Saturday."
"I have him until Sunday," Kayce turned and walked back.
"Saturday!" Monica snapped.
"Enough," Kayce hissed. "You're not weaponizing my son against me. You'll get him Sunday."
"Then I won't agree to tomorrow," Monica fired back.
Kayce blinked as he looked over at her. Monica glanced one more time at Alex before she walked back inside. Alex felt like her chest was frozen as she slowly turned, walking back to her door and opening it. Kayce got on the driver's side, both of them shutting their doors. Tate sat quietly in the back seat. Kayce turned the truck on and gunned it out of the Reservation.
Alex was silent the whole way back. When Kayce pulled up to the main house, she didn't even wait for him to park before she jumped out of the truck and raced for the door.
"Alex!" Kayce called after her.
Alex didn't stop, hurrying up the stairs and down to her room. She shut her door and braced her back against it. Looking up, Alex slid down to the floor, her legs kicking out in front of her. A few seconds passed before a knock was at the door.
"Alex?" Kayce asked. "Please talk to me."
"Go away," Alex whispered, her throat raw.
"Alex, please?" Kayce sighed. "Don't do this...don't hide from me."
"Please..." Alex shut her eyes. "Please leave me alone."
She thought Kayce had gone, but her door was quickly pulled open. Alex looked up from her spot on the floor to Kayce. He kneeled in front of her, a deep frown on his lips. Alex scooted away from him, bringing her knees up and wrapping her arms around them.
"It's not true," Kayce told her.
"Like your words hold any value," Alex spat out, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.
"We haven't-"
"Does that matter?" Alex snapped. "Or is what we've done worse? Sure...you haven't fucked me like she said, but we've...it's worse."
"How is it worse?" Kayce asked.
"I fell for you," Alex whispered, holding her face in her hands. "That's worse because it means something more than just a one-night stand or sex."
"Alex," Kayce sighed, sitting down next to her.
"I shouldn't have kissed you," Alex took a deep breath. "I shouldn't have stayed here. I should have just left and gone somewhere."
"Where?" Kayce asked her.
"Anywhere," Alex dropped her hands, tears rolling down her face now.
"She had no right to say that about you," Kayce said, his voice hoarse.
"Sure, she did," Alex shrugged. "I've been...this isn't who I am. I don't do this."
"You haven't done anything wrong," Kayce said.
"Stop saying that!" Alex cried. "Stop saying that what we've done isn't wrong!"
Kayce just shook his head, staring at Alex. Alex took deep breaths, trying to will her tears to stop falling down her cheeks. She looked up at the ceiling, counting backward from ten.
"You and I ain't wrong," Kayce said lowly.
Alex looked over at him, exhausted. His eyes were bright as he looked back at her. They were both seated facing each other in the middle of her bedroom doorway. Alex reached up and wiped the tears from under her eyes before sighing out loud.
"Why couldn't we have waited?" Alex asked softly. "Until you signed the fucking papers."
"She thinks we've slept together," Kayce mumbled. "We haven't."
"We've kissed," Ale frowned. "We've slept next to each other...I don't even know how many nights now."
"We calm each other down," Kayce shrugged. "We found each other again...in a time where we both were grieving."
"Does that make it okay?" Alex asked.
"I don't know," Kayce shook his head. "But I know in my heart we ain't wrong...you're not a bad person, Alex."
"She's gonna tell everyone who knows me out there," Alex muttered. "I know I shouldn't care, but I do."
"Why?" Kayce asked. "Those people aren't your family...they've never treated you as such. Why do you care what they think of you?"
"Because I'm human?" Alex blinked back at him. "Because I...I've spent too long trying to defend other's actions to keep the peace. I can't just snap my fingers and stop."
Kayce reached his fingers up in front of Alex's face and snapped them.
"You don't need them," Kayce told her. "You got all you need here."
"What's that?" Alex asked. "You?"
"Do you need more?" Kayce asked and Alex felt her chest tighten.
"I-I think I do?" Alex said softly.
"What do you need?" Kayce asked, turning more to face Alex on the floor. "Tell me what to do."
Alex looked between his caramel eyes. Slowly, Alex kneeled up and reached out with her hands, holding Kayce's face gently. His beard scratched against her palms as Kayce looked up to Alex who was now over him slightly. His hand held her waist tightly, his fingers digging into her jeans.
"Dad?" Tate's voice from the hallway made both of them look over at the young kid.
"Hey buddy," Kayce's hold on Alex slipped as she sat back down on the floor. "You okay?"
"What're you doing?" Tate walked closer to them.
Alex's heart was beating a mile a minute.
"Just making sure Alex is okay," Kayce said gently.
"What's wrong?" Tate asked Alex.
"Nothing to worry about, Tate," Alex smiled at him. "Just adult stuff."
"Have you been crying?" Tate asked standing next to Alex.
"Yeah," Alex shrugged. "Sometimes that happens."
"Why are you crying?" Tate asked her.
"Because I got sad, buddy," Alex reached out and held Tate's arm. "And when you get sad, you're allowed to cry some."
"Dad doesn't cry," Tate looked at Kayce.
"I do sometimes, son," Kayce nodded. "Sometimes I won't cry in front of people because I have to be the one to fix things...but that doesn't mean I don't get sad or want to cry."
Kayce's drifted over to Alex. One of his hands was still on her waist loosely. Even with Tate now standing next to them, he was still trying to comfort her. Alex saw regret in his eyes, but not for them. Maybe he was telling the truth and he was sorry for how this had happened. He had pursued her, not the other way around. She had fought him for a while, even after he told her he was divorcing Monica, she still pushed him away.
Until she couldn't push anymore. Until she realized that she needed this too. She needed him.
"Did something scare you, Alex?" Tate seemed to be concerned for Alex.
"Yeah," Alex nodded slowly. "You could say that."
"What scared you?" Tate blinked at her.
It was too late for a normal supper Alex glanced at the clock.
"I did," Kayce spoke up, making both Tate and Alex look at him.
"Kayce..." Alex shook her head softly.
Kayce looked at Tate and sighed.
"You'll understand when you're older, son," Kayce started. "But when it comes to women, if you don't treat them right...then you don't deserve them."
Alex felt her fingers curl around Kayce's shirt.
"You didn't...treat...Alex, right?" Tate asked trying to follow his father.
"Not at all," Kayce shook his head. "So, I'm trying to apologize to her and tell her that I'm sorry and..."
Kayce looked at Alex now.
"Tell her that I promise to do better, be better for her," Kayce offered her a mall smile. "Because she deserves that...don't you think, buddy?"
"Yep," Tate smiled.
"Thanks, Tate" Alex smiled, letting out a laugh to keep from new tears falling.
Tate surprised both of them by leaning over and wrapping his arms around Alex's neck. Alex reached up and held onto Tate's arms as she felt him squeeze her into a hug.
"Do you feel better?" Tate asked, his words muffled by Alex's hair.
"With a hug from you? How could I not?" Alex laughed as Tate let go. "But I bet we're all getting hungry huh?"
"Starving!" Tate said.
"I think there's some pasta downstairs...how about spaghetti?" Alex slowly stood up with Kayce following her.
"Let's go!" Tate turned on his heel and walked over to the stairs.
Alex looked up at Kayce who was watching her. He looked vulnerable, and while he should, Alex also knew that Kayce was hurting too right now. Most of it self-inflicted, but if he was promising her to be better then she at least needed to give him a chance to do that.
"You told me you wanted this," Alex said gently. "And now you've told me you'll do better."
Kayce waited for her to finish.
"You can't pull me into the firing range though again," Alex took a breath.
"I won't," Kayce promised.
"Next time I will fire back," Alex stepped closer to him. "And I won't worry about you or Tate when I do. I'll be doing that for me."
"I understand," Kayce nodded. "I'm sorry, Alex."
"I know you are," Alex said. "Tonight, was just a big blow."
"How do I fix it?" Kayce stepped closer to her, gently holding her waist.
"Like that," Alex rubbed up and down his arms.
Her hands moved up until she gripped his collar and pulled his face down to hers. Kayce's lips were warm as he pressed them against Alex's. They parted and Alex smiled up at Kayce before she made her way downstairs to where Tate was in the kitchen. He had already found the pasta and was pulling out one of the big pots from under the stove.
"Let me help, Tate," Alex laughed.
The three of them stayed in the kitchen while Alex made their simple supper. She asked Tate about his school and if he was excited about the holiday.
"I don't know," Tate sat up on the counter next to where Alex was making a salad to go with their pasta. "Never did it before."
"You've never celebrated Thanksgiving before?" Alex asked him.
"Nope," Tate shook his head.
"Well, I didn't until I met your dad, actually," Alex glanced at Kayce who was smiling at the two of them. "When I lived on the Reservation, we didn't obviously...but when my mom met your dad's mom, your grandmother, they invited us to our first Thanksgiving here."
"Like the pilgrims?" Tate asked.
"Kinda?" Alex laughed. "But the Dutton didn't slaughter all our people by tricking them and taking their land and all the bad parts of history here that we don't have to get into."
"Don't we?" Kayce smirked as he took a sip of his whiskey.
"You wanna comment?" Alex challenged as she shook up her homemade dressing.
"No ma'am," Kayce finished his glass and walked around to where the two of them were standing.
"What'll we have?" Tate asked Alex.
"All the fixings," Alex smiled. "I'm sure Gator is gonna make sure none of us are hungry."
"Sounds awesome," Tate laughed.
"Will you go put this on the table?" Alex asked, holding out the bowl of salad. "I'll plate our supper...be in there in a sec."
Tate hopped from the counter and took the salad bowl from Alex, walking into the dining room with it. Kayce followed Alex over to the spaghetti and grabbed three plates for them to eat off. Alex stirred the pasta a few times before looking at Kayce.
"You're really good with him," Kayce muttered as Alex plated their food.
"He makes it easy," Alex said as she covered the pot again. "So do you."
"Me?" Kayce asked.
"Tate looks at you, watches you all the time," Alex grabbed one plate while Kayce held two. "He sees how you are with me...I think it's rubbed off on him some. I think that's why he likes me."
"You're a kind person who talks to him," Kayce shook his head. "That's why he likes you."
"Whatever you say," Alex rolled her eyes, but Kayce didn't move. "What?"
"C'mere," Kayce held the two plates away and he lowered his head.
Alex smiled, pressing her lips to his in a sweet kiss. Kayce stepped to the side and let Alex walk out first.