By the time I am roughly pushed up against the doorframe, I've already lost my train of thought. I lost it long ago, maybe even before our morning sparring session or before breakfast.
No, it was definitely earlier than that. It started after our first three days at the Northern ruins, right when we had all finally settled in, did our share of exploring the place, and each found a semi-stable abandoned home to lay our heads.
That's when it started. The late-night visits.
We would just chat at first, about things from the past, or new jutsus each of us learned, or how we were going to take down Danzo once we left Shikkotsu. Sometimes we'd even sit and play card games as we talked. After a few game nights, the conversation shifted to our relationship status and what that meant for us going forward.
There was talk of practicing doing more than just 'handholding and forehead taps', but nothing further than occasional make-out sessions. Our boundaries were set.
The feather-light kisses and hushed laughter we'd both look forward to each night whenever we visited each other's place. . .. it was and still is magical.
However, after a few of our nightly visits, we simply couldn't keep our hands off of each other.
Or rather, that's inaccurate.
It's not so much of a "we."
She can't seem to keep her hands off me.
Okay, so it's not like I have trouble saying no to her. That's never been an issue, me telling her no. BUT if we're always making out. . .. well, then that kinda makes it hard to say anything.
I was never much of a talker anyway, why start now? Later? Definitely. But we might as well enjoy this new version of comfortable silence we have.
I mean, we still talk. About a lot of things. We have a lot to catch each other up on since it's been years since we've interacted.
Okay, so MAYBE she's doing most of the talking and I'm dodging questions because I don't want to talk about my time with Orochimaru. There's nothing worth mentioning, and chances are she already knows everything I'm going to say---- psychic and all.
But I like hearing her talk about what she's been up to.
She opened several businesses in the Hidden Sand. One for each hobby she had when we were growing up together: a restaurant so she can continue to cook all the recipes in her visions and "experiment" with new ones, a clothing store so she can keep creating different styled clothes, and an apothecary that carries various herbs and plants that she collects from her hunts.
I learned she can enter the spirit world now as part of her psychic abilities and talk to the dead, so long as they are willing to talk to her. That's apparently how Shisui helped her with the Kotoamatsukami, even though she said he was completely blind when he taught her.
I guess since his eyes are still being used and haven't "died" with him, he is still blind to some extent there. Strange. But once we take care of Danzo, that shouldn't be a problem anymore.
Also, she can now create and manipulate lightning without hand signs. She's done so much in three years, while all I did was move around the country every few weeks and train until I dropped.
Meanwhile, Moriko shook off her guards more than once to come to Shikkotsu and meet her grandfather. She sent out clones to roam the countryside, to search for and keep track of Naruto and Jiraiya. That's how they kept in touch: wolf mail she calls it.
She admitted she did look for me once when on the road, but hit a dead end which sparked her anger, so her clones never bothered to do so after that first failure.
Every night, after spending all day training our Sharingans, we get together and talk.
At least, for about 25 minutes or so, over the course of a card game or two. Afterwards, well. . . we switch to different activities.
Each night we both grow more bold, more confident around each other, learning our limits, our likes, and our dislikes. Without her ever telling me, I can tell she thoroughly enjoys kissing until we're both struggling to breathe.
She always nuzzles into my shoulder afterwards, trying to hide her face. At first, I thought she was ashamed, like she was in the past whenever she kissed me.
But I caught a glimpse of her face the other day and saw no traces of shame.
She was bashful, a new emotion to the both of us.
New for me to see on her, and new for her to have, I'm sure. She was never the shy one. Somehow, knowing that I can evoke that expression out of her makes my chest fill up with this warm, calming feeling.
And all it takes is a smile. Something I used to struggle with, not knowing it was different form a smirk. Now it's as natural as breathing so long as I'm around her.
If I follow it with some mild teasing, she switches back to embarrassed but defending herself with witty comebacks. Those which used to stop me in my tracks, but now another kiss or smile and I win. And she hates it but loves it all at the same time.
Of course, there are things she excels at that stop me in my tracks as well. One being, making me into a complete idiot. I can't think normally around her when we're both in the mood. I start saying the stupidest of things.
Last night when we were making out, I was brazen enough to ask where on her body was off-limits to me. Besides the obvious, of course. She froze and I thought I crossed a line.
I wanted to believe that I wasn't like the other guys my age that got horny and stupid.
Guess not.
Why on earth did I even speak? I was in the middle of mentally kicking myself as the silence grew longer.
She then pulled away and smiled at me, then asked what part on her body did I want to touch that prompted that question. I couldn't answer her though, I was too embarrassed to speak the truth aloud, which is.. . . everything.
The lewd part of myself I keep hidden wants nothing more than to undress her and memorize the details of her body with my Sharingan.
Every detail. Down to the last beauty mark. It wasn't even about touching, not really.
I just wanted to see her. All of her. And tell her how beautiful every single unique discovery I spot on her is. Watch as her eyes light up with delight as I tell her what I see.
But that sounds perverted, me wanting her naked just so I can stare at her. I could never tell her that.
I was just speechless, my face felt hotter than an active volcano, and every time I tried saying something, I couldn't. I thought she'd tease me for sure as I did to her whenever she got bashful, so I braced for impact. But she didn't. Instead, what she said next shocked me:
"Maybe that question is a little too hard for you. So how about this: where can I touch you, Sasuke?"
And my dumbass responded with a straight face, "Anywhere you want."
I meant it then when I said it, but it's far too early to be saying that sort of thing.
I should've known the moment that I told her that, she'd tell me where she'd set her own boundaries for me, restricting herself. That was the logical, mature thing to do, which I wasn't capable of at the moment.
She said she'd never touch me below the belt unless I asked her to. And I'd never ask her to. We both have to be comfortable with each other before we go any further, we agreed on that. No highly sensitive areas, which were below the belt for the both of us.
At least, that's what I thought. Until she started nipping and licking behind my ears during our sessions.
Guess I really need to go and explore my body myself a bit more before I go giving her free reign.
I don't know why, but the sensation of anything she does near my ears makes my mind cease normal function.
It's the reason why right now, as she sucks at the delicate spot behind my ear, that my normal thought processes are gone for the holidays. I feel as though a fire's been lit within me, and the growing bulge below my waist starts to ache for release from my clothing. I do my best to quiet my moans with my hand, but she tears it away and growls sexily into my ear.
"I didn't say you could get quiet, gremlin." And she nips my ear as punishment, sending shivers of pleasure down my neck from the point of contact.
Knowing she wants to hear me heightens my arousal and my embarrassment. Suddenly, I've seized her waist, clinging to her like glue. Her immediate response to that is to wrap her arms around my neck. Without her even saying anything, I know she wants me to pick her up, so I do. I take her further into my room and sit on the bed with her in my lap, my hands now firmly set beneath each of her thick thighs. She moves away from my ear momentarily and kisses me roughly whilst simultaneously grinding against my bulge.
The new movement from her is a shock I am just barely able to process as I'm preoccupied with plunging my tongue in and out her mouth, earning loud moans from her as revenge for her telling me what I can and can't do with my mouth. She thought she had me backed into a corner, speechless, out-of-breath, and completely at her mercy.
That's why she said that to me; she thought I'd surrender, and part of me almost wanted to. Never in a million years did I think I'd actually ever want that, but when it's her, it's too exciting for me to not at least stop and consider.
Submitting to her is hardly an issue. With the way she's making me feel right now, I'd do anything she asks. Not that I'd ever tell her that.
We're similar in that aspect, I think: submitting to each other seems ludicrous at first with our inflated senses of pride, but after some teasing to knock it down a peg or two, it's something we both could easily enjoy. She may be leading right now. . .
But I'm about to turn the tables.
I quickly adjust her on my lap before matching her thrusts with my own. Within minutes, I can tell she's close to her peak, as she's broken off our kiss and has buried her face into my shoulder to inhale my scent. I increase my speed once she licks along my collarbone, something I've quickly learned is an indicator that she wants to bite me. To mark me.
But she won't.
She tries burying her moans into my shoulder, but I take the opportunity to slow down, teasing her release, and grab her chin so that we're looking into each other's eyes.
"I didn't say you could get quiet." I grin up at her, but she's not amused in the slightest.
She growls at me, hardening her glare at me. I stop moving against her completely and her mouth drops open in shock. I only smirk in response, and I watch as her resolve to be mad at me waivers. She looks away, ripping her chin from my hold and mumbles something incoherently.
"Use your words, Mori." I tease her.
". . . Stop fucking teasing me." She says, still not meeting me eyes, but I can tell she's pouting.
"So you want more?" I ask her. Nothing but silence. "Oh, I see. You want it faster too, don't you?"
"Sasuke. . ." She gives me another warning growl, but I pay no mind to it, deciding to give her a few butterfly kisses along her neck and collarbone.
She finally gives. "What do you want?"
I pause the kisses to think for a moment and then respond to her. "Beg me."
She kisses her teeth. "I see you got jokes."
"Maybe we should call it a night then." I tell her.
"You're bluffing."
"I am." I admit coolly. "But we both know you're at the edge."
She scoffs. "And you're not?"
"Not as far as you are, Miss Overstimulated."
"Tch. Boy, go to hel--" Before she can finish her insult, I capture her lips with mine own for quick yet passionate kiss and thrust twice towards her core. She moans into my mouth with each thrust and attempts to grind against me to start us up again, but I stop her by holding firmly onto her hips.
"Sasuke!" She whines, and the sound is heavenly I might add. I almost give right there and then.
"You know what I want."
". . ."
She doesn't speak, just pulls her hands down from my neck to caress my chest and abs. Her eyes now half-lidded, a dark violet shade and full of lust as she traces the outlines of my abs with her fingers.
I pull her chin back up so she's looking directly at me.
She doesn't waste another minute on anger.
"Sasuke. . . please." She whines, and I smile before connecting our lips once again. This time we're both aggressive, hungry for each other, and our rhythm in thrusts matching the energy of the kiss. Moriko's hands are now all over me, and every part of her skin that's in contact with mine ignites electricity beneath my skin and a fire in my stomach.
Now I'm close as well, no longer able to speak. Just quick gasps escape my mouth that Moriko occasionally swallows into a kiss. I go faster and harder, holding up my end of the bargain since she gave me the sweetest gift.
"S. . . Sasuke. .." Her moans get louder and her movements sloppy. I feel her legs tighten around me, as if she seeks to crush me. Seconds later, she gasps and throws her head back with her face to the ceiling. Watching her brings me so much joy, it's almost insane. She whimpers softly as she comes down from her high, and that sound sends me completely over the edge.
"Fuck." My vision goes white momentarily as the knot in my stomach tightens and my entire body trembles in wake of my release. My breathing hitches alongside hers from the pleasure of our releases happening within mere seconds of each other. Moriko's hold on me loosens, and her head slowly comes back down until she's staring at me.
Only it almost seems like she isn't there for a moment. Her eyes are sort of. . . glazed over, and her canine fangs protrude from her mouth as she eyes my collarbone hungrily.
"Mori..." I regain my ability to speak and attempt to help her flip back her "switch," but she turns the tables back again. Immediately she straddles me, pushing me down on the bed. The way her eyes bore into mine as I look up at her from below. . . she's simply irresistible.
Almost.
We promised to control ourselves. Not give in to our most basic animal instincts, which I recognize is harder for her than it is for me. Whenever this happens, all I do is call her name and she always able to pull herself out of it.
"Moriko." I repeat her name and she seemed to hear me this time. The haze over her eyes disappears and she smiles.
"I wouldn't have, just to let you know. Still, I'm sorry." She whispers, eyes now averted from mine in slight shame.
She rolls off of me, to the left side of the bed.
"I know. I trust you." I tell her truthfully, squeezing her hand to reassure her. We both have to consent to it, and although I want her mark, now isn't the time and we both know that. I only called her name because I just didn't want it to end up like last time; she basically blue-balled me by kissing and licking my ears and all down my neck, so this time I snapped her out the haze before that process could start again.
I sit up and move to the edge of the bed, grabbing a scroll full of washing products and a change of clothes. Moriko does the same, then gets up and follows me outside the stone cabin, down the hill to the freshwater falls.
It was embarrassing the first few times, us both sneaking out here to bathe and wash away the sweat from our. . . activities. Now it's just become normal. This may have started a few days into our stay at the northern ruins, but we've been at it like this for the past week and a half now. I haven't been more horny than usual, but whenever Moriko comes to me, it's almost like she flips a switch in me.
I was going to question it at first, her frequent visits and sudden sexual frustration, but then when I stopped to think about it, her being stressed made sense. She can't shift when she's near us, or her pack might come and find us. She always has to travel long distances during the day to shift, just to keep us safe. Then she's training with me and the Taka, in preparation for the five kage summit and Danzo's execution. Not to mention she's doing most of the hunting, save Suigetsu, who fishes in the nearby waters. And she's helping Juugo access his memories through meditation.
Her and Karin make different oils, ointments, and pastes from the medicinal plants they gather in the forest here as well, since we didn't exactly bring anything to combat insect bites or rashes from the different flora and fauna here. I am highly resistant and/or immune to just about everything thanks to Orochimaru, so nothing has bothered me since we got here but the others are struggling and we will be here for four or so weeks, so that became a new worry for Moriko.
She's always taking on a lot, always finding something to stress about. I started leading sparring sessions to take some of the load off. Yesterday I pushed for the group to take guarding shifts at night so she wouldn't need to have so many clones out, but she insists that it's too dangerous for us still. That even if we're used to taking down creatures as large as the giant snake summons of Orochimaru, that there are creatures here we've never encountered or even heard of.
I thought back to the sight of that flaming bird whose wingspan appeared to shroud the forest in darkness as it flew by and brought an absurd wave of heat with its passing. It pained me to admit to myself that I wouldn't even know where to start on how to defeat such a creature.
We all take turns cooking now, thanks to me pushing for it the other day. I'm still surprised she gave in on that---- she enjoys cooking; it calms her. Moriko always likes to keep her hands busy, creating something or improving her ability to do something. Growing up with her, I realized this very early on. She could be in her own little world, reading a book and laughing out loud suddenly about something funny a character does, or she'll suddenly run into the room where I am and tell me about this new game she came up with or new form of training, or ask Mother and Itachi a bunch of questions about different processes to make simple household items.
I pretended not to be interested then. Only inserting myself into conversations to win a point against her; a teasing match of some sort. After the whole 'name-calling incident' however, I paid more attention to her, as my new goal was to see her light up because of me and not just because of her new onslaught of wacky ideas. All of a sudden, I couldn't help how my ears perked up at the sound of her hurried footsteps whenever she got excited about something and ran to tell someone in the home.
Sometimes it was me she was coming to talk to, and other times it was Mother or Itachi. I would leave my room and head to the living room to study, just hoping I'd get a glimpse at her and hear what new idea or thought she had today. The kids at the Academy my age weren't half as interesting as she was. Or strong or funny. She exceled in the same topics I did----- basic math, geometry, history, geography---- which other academy kids struggled in. Her main focus was health, chakra studies, training regimens, shinobi tactics------ all the things I was most interested in and focused on because everything else was a bore to talk about with the other kids. And add on the fact that only I knew the real her ----outside the Uchiha Clan and Inuzuka Clan------ and I felt like that special secret made the two of us stronger. That our bond was stronger because of how unique our upbringing was.
She'd ask me questions about all of that when we got home since she couldn't at school. And because of how pretentious I tended to be, it was nice feeling like the sensei. When she learned something new, she shared it with me, and her eyes would light up like stars once she learned a new jutsu, solved a new problem, or came to understand a new topic I helped her with.
After the massacre happened, the roles kind of reversed. She started teaching me new things. Normally, if it were anyone else, I'd hate the criticism from someone my own age. I'd hate them being better than me. It would sting, I would get jealous and angry because I wouldn't be able to take it, knowing they were better, because it meant I was inferior. That realization would push me away from them and soon I'd stop listening to them.
But not with her. That never happened with her. I respected and valued her opinion always, so even when she exceled, started having new abilities left and right like "bending" all chakra natures, her new overpowered dojutsu, her strength in and out human form, it didn't quite sting the way I thought it would.
Or maybe the time we spent teasing each other made me immune to feeling inferior to her. Who knows? Things were different with Naruto. In our matches, winning was the only acceptable outcome. With him, I respected his passion, his drive to succeed and become Hokage. I even hoped for it, but the moment I realized that meant he would have to surpass me, therefore making me inferior to him, I found myself struggling to support it. I don't want to lose to him, as childish as that reason may be. We'll just have to settle things in a match after Danzo's assassination, the Akatsuki, and the Tailed Beast war they plan to launch is taken care of.
With Moriko, winning is certainly something I want, but simply for bragging rights. Losing to her doesn't make me feel inferior. It only gets me excited more about our next battle. There's no shame in an Uchiha losing a battle to a werewolf who has superstrength and also has extensive training with the Sharingan, after all. That's just unreasonable. You are bound to lose a few battles given those circumstances.
It'd be ideal if I felt the same way about battles when it comes to Naruto, and Moriko has tried to get us there, but I just don't think that's going to happen anytime soon. I don't hate him, but that doesn't mean I'll be alright losing to him either.
Tch, he's still a moron and a loser.
He and I will settle things eventually.
Once we get the Akatsuki and Danzo out the picture.
The we can properly spar.
Thinking back on all of this as Moriko and I head to opposite ends of the falls for privacy to bathe like usual, my mind wanders back to Moriko. As I hear her splash into the far-left end, the idea of possibly bathing together in the future as a couple pops into my head for a moment and I can't help getting hard again.
Good thing the water's cold.
I quickly wash up and when I'm done, I head back to the shore to dry off, getting dressed in the fresh clothing I brought from a scroll. I can hear her faintly humming some song as she bathes behind the falls. Despite there not being a full moon out, the stars are bright enough to light up the falls. The landscape of Shikkotsu so far has been breathtaking, and the same can be said even at night. The sound of the falls is deafening in the morning, but at night, there's just enough water flowing down shielding ourselves from each other's view.
Her silhouette is still visible, the only thing separating her from my view being a thick curtain of mountain water falling from the cliff. I can't help watching as her shadow rubs all over the curves of her body.
I just know she's beautiful.
I only wish I could see.
"I know you're staring."
"What makes you so sure?" I try and play it off.
"Your breathing got heavy." She replies. "And I can smell how excited you are."
Shit.
Way to not be a pervert, idiot.
"S. . .Sorry, I just—"
"Relax. You're not in trouble. I know you can't see anything 'cause I caught myself doing the same thing a few nights ago to you." She laughs awkwardly. "Guess I might as well admit that now, since I caught you doing the same thing."
"You were.. . checking me out?" The thought raced around in my mind at lightspeed, refusing to leave. It was exciting and a little shocking. Logically, it makes sense she also has similar thoughts as mine on this topic but hearing it from her hits different.
"Tried to. Failed miserably cause of the thickness of the waterfall. So now we're even." I can hear the shrug in her voice. "Sorry, by the way. For trying to look. It felt kinda slimy of me to---"
"Slimy?" I interrupt her quizzically.
"I. . . don't know how to describe it!" She whispers, slightly embarrassed. "I don't want to say perverted, so I was looking for another word. . ."
"I guess. . . maybe not like that, though."
We both chuckle lightly on the matter, as I sit by the shore and wait for her to be finished.
"I really don't mind if you want to look." I tell her from the shoreline. "Still, I'll respect that you don't want me to see you. . . yet." And her hushed laughter can be heard easily over the falls.
"Sasuke, if you were half as charismatic as you are now back when we were kids, every girl would be on their knees for you."
"They already were back then. that's why I didn't bother speaking. Would've only made it worse." I flirt.
"And here I thought the great Sasuke Uchiha was shy around girls cause they freaked him out."
"Why does everyone think that?" I roll my eyes, reminded of the talk I had with Naruto.
"Because that's the truth. Girls do kinda freak you out. So don't try and mask it by overdoing things for me. I do like you stepping out your comfort zone, but please pace yourself. You can't give all of yourself to me like that."
"I don't want to hold back like I used to." I mumble to myself, but her ears pick it up.
"Like you used to?" She asks inquisitively.
"I. . ."
I just don't want to mess this up.
I don't want you to push me away.
I'm afraid I'll cross a line.
Betray you again somehow, without even meaning to.
I don't want to lose you again.
But I can't tell her that.
She has enough to worry about.
I've never had these insecurities before. I want to talk about them with her, to be open and honest like I promised myself I would be. . . but I also don't want to dump this on her right now. She has the tendency to make my feelings priority whenever I voice them. While I love that about her, I want to do the exact opposite this time. I want to show her she can come to me with her doubts, insecurities and feel secure.
I want her to know that I will make her my priority. Show her that she has always been the priority, whether we realized it or not. We've always protected each other.
Her silhouette disappears. Suddenly, she's in front of me, fully dressed, with a small frown on her face.
"What is it?" She asks as she takes off the shower bonnet that kept her hair dry.
"Nothing."
She gives me her, 'that's bullshit' look, similar to one of my own looks of disbelief, and I roll my eyes.
"Nothing important." I insist, and she backs down, once I flash her a smile.
"Fine." She huffs, averting her eyes from me and puffs out her cheeks to hide her blush at my smiling at her. She crosses her arms over her chest. "You can talk to me, you know. Let me know if I'm the one. . . overstepping or something."
I'm confused on what she may be implying when she says that until I realize she thinks she did something wrong during our session.
"Hey." I poke her forehead. "You did nothing wrong." I reassure her, then I grab her chin gently and turn her head back towards me. "Why is it your confidence goes away after you've made me the happiest I've ever been?"
She pouts, her bottom lip protruding out slightly, and it's one of the cutest things I've ever seen her do.
"I. . . honestly, I don't know." She answers, whining just a little. "I just feel this awkward shyness afterwards that I've never felt around you before. Goddess, it's so embarrassing and it doesn't even make sense! I've never been shy around you before. I'm in uncharted waters here." She mutters that last part and I kiss her temple.
"You're. . .not the only one." I whisper to her, feeling a little embarrassed myself. As much as I wished and waited for this relationship with her, now that I finally have it, I feel the same as her sometimes.
It's only when we're teasing each other that things feel like they used to. But still. . . I like the new feelings that have come from this. I welcome them, even.
"It's not bad, right?" I question.
"Well, no. I guess not. I kinda like it actually; it just worries me." She mutters again. "I don't want to feel like I'm stuck at level one with you when we know so much about each other and have known each other for so long."
"I thought you wanted level one?" I ask, remembering she said beginner level is where we're at and that she wants to take things slow. "That's what we promised each other, right?"
She laughs. "Yeah, but I haven't exactly kept well on that promise in the past week. I just can't seem to stay away from you." She admits bashfully.
Her lavender eyes flash brightly for a moment as they flit from my face to the falls, and back again.
"I. . . I'm not so sure anymore. I don't think we. . . need to take things so slowly." Her eyes widen as she hastily adds, "N-Not that I think we should speed up either. What I mean is we know so much about each other already. And it took a while but. . . I trust you again. So now. .. I kinda feel like I'm holding us back because I'm scared."
"Scared of what?"
"The future."
I sigh and take her in my arms, holding her close to my chest. The feel of having her in my embrace is one I'll never get used to. She's warm and smells like wildflowers and I can feel her calming down the longer I hold her.
"I am yours whenever you want me. That's all."
"But you want that to be now, don't you?" She says softly into my chest.
"I don't mean sex, Moriko. I mean in every other aspect of life. You can share anything and everything with me and I won't push you away. And I'll do the same. Or at least, I'll try to. I want to."
"I can tell. Doesn't mean you hand over your body to me, Sasuke." She jokes. "We can still just talk to each other."
That's what we've been doing each night for the past week. The date nights full of card games, 20 questions, and other various trivia to fill in the three-year gap.
It progressed to what we do now, and I don't think that's mere coincidence. It's because we're growing. She's afraid it's all purely sexual, but I'm not. I know it's more.
"I know." I answer. "But at the risk of sounding cheesy, you already have my heart and soul. I don't know what else to give you. I'm not trying to push for sex. I just want you to know that I'm not going anywhere. I couldn't. You. . . h-have everything I need to function." I blush at my own words.
She breaks the hug to smile up at me, and I can't help returning her smile with one of my own. But she looks away again and I laugh.
"I wish you'd stop doing that."
"It's your fault." She pouts. "You told me they're just for me now. I feel like I'll melt away whenever I see them now, but I still crave them. Your smiles are addictive, Sasuke."
" 'Melt away?' " I blush, repeating what she's said to me. "Is that so? You almost sound like a fangirl, Moriko." I smirk. "Are you going to faint the next time I kiss you?" I tease.
She playfully pokes my chest in annoyance.
"Let's get one thing straight: you the fangirl, Sasuke." She fires back at me with a smirk.
For a split second, I'm tempted to deny her statement. That's what I'd do usually as a reflex to our little teasing matches. She'd always win them in the past when I didn't think them through.
But now that we use them also to flirt, I want to win. Teasing is part of our love language. We've always been competitive with each other after all, and there are high rewards. It makes her blush, makes her shy, sometimes even squeal and I rarely ever see that part of her.
From any other girl, it feels uncomfortable; but from her, it's cute.
Recently, I've learned that when she uses the truth to tease me and I want to counterattack, I shouldn't deny it. Own it, then throw it back at her to catch her off guard. My candor isn't what surprises her, because she can feel that I am being genuine. What surprises her is the fact that I say it aloud. I wasn't very vocal about how I felt about her in the past, so the change in me no longer holding back is still mind-blowing for her.
And I just love seeing her look surprised or excited.
I nod in agreement with her statement. Then, I form my counter, keeping it completely candid.
"You're right, I am." I admit. "Since day one. I'm your ride or die. It's about time you noticed, babe."
She doesn't respond right away, and I suppose my witty comeback shocked her into silence. The mere thought spreads a grin across my face. She buries her face into my chest, and I can tell she's both embarrassed and pleased by what I've said.
"Oh my goddess. . ." She mumbles into my chest. "Why are you like this now, it's not fair!" She whines. "I can't win anymore. Who taught you this?!"
"Taught me what?"
"No fucking way you don't know what you're doing." She replies, face still on my chest.
"Oh, no I definitely know what I'm doing to you and am doing it on purpose." I chuckle, enjoying every moment of this. "Guess, I'm self-taught."
She kisses her teeth and sighs. "I have to step up my game."
"Don't like the taste of your own medicine?"
"No."
"Oh." I comment, as if I'm surprised by that fact. She scoffs lightly before looking back up at me.
We lock eyes again, and hers are darker than before, lust clear and present in her gaze.
The sight of it makes me excited and nervous all at once. Her gaze lowers down to my shoulder again, and her hand comes up to lower the zippers on my hooded collar. The cool midnight breeze touches my bare skin, and she starts rubbing small circles along my neck and collarbone.
The sensation, the yearning of wanting to be bitten rises the surface once more and I place my hand over hers to stop her.
"I really want to. . ." She mumbles. "I want you to know that. It's not that I don't want this, or us, or you. I'm just. . ." She trails off and turns her gaze to the waterfall. She can feel just how much I want her to; I know she can. But what she doesn't know is that it's not even for the sake of the sex that comes with it.
I just want it.
I want it as confirmation that she's mine and I'm hers.
That she'll stay with me. That she loves me. She said it's like a marriage proposal, but on a deeper, more personal level. That are souls will be connected once we go through with it. That we'll feel stronger and be happier. Our bond isn't even complete, and yet I can feel her emotions if I focus hard enough, and there are times when I know exactly what she's going to say and do. We've been trained to fight as one since we were children, and though I did my best to hide my emotions from her in the past, there were still times when she could find out what I was feeling and thinking just by looking at me. No visions required.
If this is how things are without it complete, then I can only imagine what we'll accomplish when we do fortify the bond. I just want it, the marking, just to feel. .. secure. She's always been my rock, and when she marks me, I'll officially become hers.
I've lost too much already in my life. We both have. It feels childish of me to tell her that's all I want it for though, especially when the marking demands sex immediately afterwards to complete the bond, which is what's making her so nervous.
Not that I'm not also a little nervous about that too. But I hide it, mainly because I don't want to tell her that I'm nervous. It'd just make me seem weak. Or maybe that's just my pride that's making me think that.
Unfortunately, the only conversation I've had with another man about how sex is with a woman was with. . . . Orochimaru.
I asked out of the blue one day when I was 15. The conversation lasted all of two minutes while he was giving me a health checkup after my poison resistance training had just concluded. It was the longest, most uncomfortable two minutes of my life. I knew he'd tell me what I wanted to know, but I also wished I could've learned it from anyone else.
Literally anyone else.
Everything he said was medically and scientifically backed up with diagrams and charts, but his smile the whole time he spoke freaked me out. I never asked him anything related to that ever again after that day. Mainly because when I asked what it was like for him, he said simply, 'I wouldn't really know. Never been with a woman who was memorable. They're much easier to dissect than to have sex with. I'm sure you'll figure it out though, Sasuke. You're a smart boy.'
So, I turned to another place for answers:
Literature.
I did a lot of reading during my time with Orochimaru, not just for this purpose, but also for basic educational reasons and also because it reminded me of Moriko. She always had her head stuck in a book or came home with a bunch of books from the library. I felt closer to her whenever I was reading, even if what I was reading wasn't anything she had read before.
I even gave in to temptation a few times and read a few fantasy books. Some about werewolves, but I'd never tell her that. She'd never let me forget it since I always teased her about her obsession with fiction books, while I preferred historical nonfiction.
"You don't have to explain anything." I tell her softly in response to her attempting to explain herself yet again for why she isn't ready for sex. "I'm not in a rush. What we have now is perfect for us."
Saying those reassuring words aloud seem to calm her down.
"I. . I love you." I blurt out suddenly. At the sound of those words being uttered from my lips, her head whips back up to my face, her eyes wide and shining bright.
I was hoping the redness of my cheeks would be hidden since it's nighttime, but the longer she stares, the hotter my face feels.
Her shocked expression morphs into a smile and then a full-blown grin.
"Aww, you wuv me?" She teases me.
"No, I hate you." I respond immediately, feeling slightly embarrassed. I should've known she'd used that opportunity to tease me.
She giggles. "I hate you too."
"Did you really have to go and ruin that?" I ask her.
"I finally got to see you pout. It was totally worth it. Wish I'd got it on camera actually." She shrugs.
"You're crazy."
"Thank you for the compliment." She winks.
We both laugh, resting our foreheads together once the moments passed and we've settled back down.
"I love you too, Sasuke." She says after a while, resting her arms around my neck. "I should've said it sooner. I really am an airhead. I think. . . I think I've always loved you."
My heart nearly beats out my chest at her words.
She's said it before when we were kids, jokingly and platonically after teasing me or sparring with me and I knew that's what it was. Just platonic love. Hearing those words . . . it went from annoying, to slightly endearing, to disappointing because it didn't mean what I wanted it to, and then back to endearing because as long as I heard it from someone, it didn't matter.
After all these years. .. hearing it now, knowing she means it differently is everything I've ever wanted. Breathing in slowly, I take a moment just to cherish that fact.
". . . Sasuke?" Her slender fingers wiping a stray tear on my cheek bring me back to my senses.
"Again." I whisper.
"Hm?"
"Say it again. Please." I repeat softly, closing my eyes to relish the feel of her hand now on my cheek.
"I love you."
Then our lips connect, and I kiss her with a burning passion I didn't even know I had in me. My hands trail down to her waist, and hers go digging into my hair. She gasps in surprise of the kiss, letting my tongue into her mouth to explore. I slowly circle the entrance of her mouth with my tongue before going further in, receiving a plethora of small moans from her. She tilts her head back a bit, allowing me more access as I start tongue-fucking her, plunging in and out her mouth. Her breathless moans excite me, and she starts growling again, earning a twitch from my member.
It's hard to imagine that sex would be better than this, but everyone says it is. If I could get marked without sex, I would. It's all I want; everything else can wait. We have the rest of our lives together after all. And I think she'd want the same since sex is a difficult subject for her.
But life's not perfect. The bond just doesn't work like that unfortunately. We'll just cross that bridge when we get to it. Whatever she wants me to do, I'll do. Sex can wait; I just want to be by her side and for her to trust me like I trust her.
When our lips finally part, she's a panting mess before me, and I smile.
She doesn't look away this time, just shakes her head and says, "Goddamn, where you been hiding that? That was amazing."
"Tell me you love me more often, then." I grin playfully at her, and she rolls her eyes to disguise her blush.
"We'll see." She replies in the same playful tone I took only moments ago.
"I mean it." I blurt out again, and she tilts her head a bit at the suddenly serious tone I've taken.
"Say it more." I whisper and her eyes start glowing brighter. "Just not in front of everyone at celebratory dinners." I add.
Her expression darkens at the joke before she busts out laughing. "Oh my goddess, that was so embarrassing, why did you remind me?!" She digs her face into the crook of neck as I hold back small chuckles. "I untangled a repressed memory in front of everyone out of pure frustration, that was a low-blow Sasuke."
"Too soon?" I joke, starting to get the hang of this whole dark humor thing.
"Sasuke I love you but fuck you. Respectfully."
Her words only evoke only more laughter from me. "Do you even hear what you say half the time?"
"Huh? What you mean?" She backs up from me, arms crossed, her eyebrow arched.
"How do you fuck someone respectfully?"
"I. . . shit, I'on even know." She wonders to herself for a minute. "Wait, it's a figure of speech Sasuke, you know what I mean!" But she's already laughing, and so am I.
Moriko then inhales sharply and backs up even further away from me. "You need to take care of that. You just finished taking a cold shower for goddess's sake, Sasuke."
"Well... . it's kind of your fault." I protest.
"Well—" She starts off strong but can't seem to find a good counter and sighs. "Tch. Shit."
I chuckle and she blushes before rolling her eyes at me.
"Speechless?" I smirk.
"Fuck you." She mumbles.
"You sure you want to do this outside? Thought you weren't into that. Unless that's something you're interested in? I'm down if you are."
The expression in her face is priceless. Her mouth hangs open in shock. She doesn't even say anything to me, too embarrassed I bet. She abruptly turns and walks away.
I'm not that innocent little boy who disliked her cursing anymore. It's about time she learns that. I like messing with her, especially one-upping her comebacks. I follow her back towards camp. She slows her angry march so we're side by side now.
The northern ruins are really beautiful, especially at night. Some of the homes are carved into the trunks of these enormous trees, with others being made of stone of regular tree wood. Some of the higher houses in the treetops have connecting walkways, but they're no longer stable enough for us to walk on, so we have to scale the trees by tree-walking. Having been abandoned for several hundred years after they were wiped out, I expected it to look a lot more run-down. However, this ancient village has a majestic, serene air about it.
Seeing these houses carved into the trees made me wonder just how strong the villagers that used to live here must have been. Or at least what tools they used to construct their homes. Sure, there are some stone houses on the forest floor, but most architecture in the village is made from just regular old tree wood.
Well, regular is an understatement. We practiced Kirin on one of the smaller trees near the forest floor a few days ago and it didn't catch fire from the attack. It was barely scarred from it, actually.
Whatever the soil is feeding these trees, it's something strong.
The home I chose as mine is made of stone and sits at the base of one of the trees. It's covered in moss and leaves, with the inside leading into the roots of the trees a bit, but the hut itself is huge, with four rooms alongside a sitting area, an old kitchen with a furnace, and even another room that's shaped like an outhouse.
For a clan that lived here centuries ago, they weren't that far behind in the times with their tools and technology. Nearly every hut on the ground that isn't destroyed is like this.
Suigetsu chose the one in the center of the village, thinking it meant he was the leader or something, I don't know. Juugo chose one on the top of the hill, and Karin chose to sleep in one of the treehouses, just like Moriko did.
They seem to get along now, and it's weird.
Weird but a relief she's not all over me anymore. If anything, she's vying for Moriko's attention now, like they're best friends. I could've sworn she was even glaring at me the other day for taking Moriko away from her to train. She had her own Moriko clone guarding her, same as everyone else, so I don't know what the problem was.
Moriko escorts me back to my stone cabin, but I grab her hand when she turns to leave.
"I'm just sulking, Sasuke. I'll be fine in the morning once I've come up with a comeback. Best believe I will." She says, not even turning to look at me. I'm confused before I realize she's still pouting from losing our teasing match.
"Not that." I smile at the thought of her thinking hard for a comeback.
"Then what? We should really get to bed, it's late." She finally turns around to face me, and once our eyes lock, I lose my nerve to ask.
C'mon, seriously? What is wrong with me?
Speak up.
". . .Sasuke? What is it?" She walks over to me and places her free hand on my cheek. "You're nervous again. I won't tease. Tell me what's wrong."
[Stay.] I send the thought to her, knowing she won't hear it. Knowing I can't even say it.
She smiles, then leans in to kiss me on the cheek. "Goodnight, Sasuke. You don't have to ask for a kiss goodnight you know."
She turns to leave again, but the hold I have on her hand doesn't weaken in the slightest. This time she raises a brow at my refusal to let go and my courage surges from the kiss as I speak.
"Sleep with me."
Her mouth makes a small "o" and I realize I'm an idiot.
"Stay with me tonight." I revise my sentence. "You said you're still having trouble sleeping, right?" I add on haphazardly, my heartbeat now erratic as I try and call myself down.
I saved it.
I'm not an idiot.
Calm the fuck down.
She lays a hand over my chest, right over my heart and I realize she can hear how crazy it is.
"Calm down, Shh." She smiles at my chest. "Your heart sounds like it fears death is coming." She chuckles before meeting my eyes, with a calm spirit now about her.
"Can you always hear that?" I ask. "The heartbeats of others?"
She dismisses that with a quick shake of her head. "No. My sense of hearing is acute, but it's like a dial with a random timer. I can dial it to the setting I want, but after a while it will randomly dial back to another setting, causing me to hear something I'm not even listening for." She replies. "Although I am always listening closely whenever you are talking to me, it's not always to listen to your heartbeat."
"Oh. Then what is the reason?"
"You know what?" She tilts her head as she contemplates the reason. "I don't know. It's always been like that, since we were kids. Could be because we spent so much time together. Well. . . no, actually I think I just like the sound of your voice. It's nice." She beams at me.
"Oh really?" I smirk.
"Don't let that go to your head, Uchiha."
"Too late."
We both share a smirk and a moment of silence, before she sighs and adds, "You actin' awfully cocky. But your heartbeat revealed your true feelings."
"I. . . could've said that better. That's all."
"Doesn't matter how you say it. My answer is no, Sasuke." She says calmly, but the aftershock of her words hits me like a tsunami.
"I wouldn't try anything—"
"I know. I trust you. It's not you, it's me." She answers, then chuckles like she's said something funny.
"I wouldn't let you go too far." I insist.
"How far is too far, Sasuke?" She asks me with a serious tone. Her smile is gone, and she gives me her no-nonsense stare.
I can't answer that for her, because I don't know what'll be too much for her.
So instead, I say, "Anything beyond what we did today." because that's the truth.
She just stares at me quietly, studying me.
"Mori. . . I just want to hold you. It's just to sleep, Mori." I tell her, taking her other hand in mine.
"Are you. . . struggling to sleep too?" She mumbles, but her eyes are clouded with concern for me.
"Well, not more than usual." I answer honestly.
We both have had sleep issues in the past, but hers were always more prominent. Mine faded with time. When I'm focused on accomplishing a goal, it takes over everything I do. Even my dreams would consist of me training back when I was with Orochimaru. He offered me pills for my strange dreams and erratic sleeping patterns, but I refused. I didn't want drugs from him, that man is crazy. The dreams I had were weird, yes, but it was either that or nightmares about the massacre, so I didn't complain.
Now that goal is gone. Itachi is here and that in and of itself has brought back bittersweet memories and also some completely bitter ones as well.
Thankfully my dreams don't consist of him. All I can seem to dream about. . . is her.
I just want to keep her safe. I want to love and cherish her and spoil her.
I could do all of that now, sure. But the threat of this Fate still hangs in the air.
Someone who could attack from anywhere. And we're in unfamiliar territory. Shikkotsu is full of legendary creatures and beasts. It may seem like a small step towards safety, having her beside me in bed each night, but it's a step towards her safety, nonetheless.
Kakashi and I spoke before we left, and he believes there are a few of us that are immune to Fate's influence; me being one of them. He wasn't sure of me at first because of what I did in the past, but now that he knows about the soulmate bond, he's certain.
"Okay. . . just for tonight though." She answers barely above a whisper, but the words ring as loud as a symphony's crescendo in my ears.
I pull her inside and lead her back to my room. She giggles at my speed, and I realize I didn't really hide my eagerness all that well.
When we get to the front of the bed, we both freeze. I am confident that nothing will happen, but the implication of sleeping together in the same bed hits me the moment I see the bed. We both just stand there looking at it, wondering who will go first.
After a quick beat, Moriko then promptly launches herself onto it with a loud, "Weeeeee!"
"You're so childish." I respond to her kid-like outcry, but it's one of the things I love about her. I feel like I lost that childish spark once the clan died, but she held onto her light. She even shared it with me.
"I broke the awkward tension and silence." She corrects me, turning to face me as I still stand in front of the bed. "I am so proud of myself. Not just for that, but for the sealing scrolls too. Everyone was able to bring their own bed with them! What you meant to say was, 'Moriko, you're so smart and I'm just a lowly gremlin'." She mimics my voice at the end, and I give her an eye roll before sitting at the edge and taking off my shoes. She rolls to the edge and does the same.
Then she crawls under the covers and hums happily.
"Kinda like old times." I tell her.
"Except I'm not on the floor on my giant pillow." She mentions. "This is much better though. Everything smells like you." She mumbles that last part, but I hear it clearly.
I get under the covers and chuckle at her words. "I hope that's a good thing."
"Oh, you heard that?" She blushes and lays on the far-right side. As I turn on my side to look at her, I'm left momentarily speechless at what I see.
Her eyes have always been mesmerizing.
"C'mere. I don't bite. That's more your style anyway." I smirk, and she mumbles something with 'gremlin' in it before scooting only a millimeter closer, which irks me.
"You're trying my patience, Moriko." I sling my arm around her waist and pull her towards me. She shrieks with surprise but doesn't move away. "There. Much better."
"You can hold my waist, but that's it." She says firmly.
"Of course."
"No kissing." She adds.
"I agree. We're here to sleep." I reply.
"No touching below the belt—"
"So many rules just to sleep with you." I cut her off with my objection and eyeroll. "How about we just close our eyes and count sheep?"
She glares at me. "I hate you."
"Mm, yes you've mentioned that."
She turns her back to me, and I scoot closer. I grab her by the waist again and pull her to me until her back is up against my chest.
"How's this?" I whisper in her ear.
"It will do." She huffs.
"It will do?" I repeat, pretending to be confused. "Maybe we should try a different position if all I get is a, 'it will do.' "
"Sasuke it's perfect. Now shut the fuck up and go to sleep."
I hold in my laughter. "Goodnight, Mori."
"Nite." She says curtly. A moment goes by before she adds, [I love you.]
I close my eyes and think only of those words. Those three, perfect little words.
Before I can even start the process of dozing off, her thoughts enter my mind again.
[You're supposed to say it back, gremlin.]
"You said to shut up and go to sleep." I answer her aloud, and I can tell she's fuming that I keep catching her slipping.
[Aite. Keep playin wit me. I will show no mercy during our morning spar.]
Her threat doesn't faze me in the slightest. I only kiss the back of her neck and whisper, "I love you, stubborn, vengeful goddess." knowing she won't remember she's supposed to be mad at me in the morning. Finally, I start dozing off, the sound of her quiet, even breaths easing me into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.
_______________________________________
Moriko POV
The past week has been quite eventful.
Quite.
And I've come to realize that something is wrong with me. I have to talk to Selene immediately.
I tried contacting her at the shrine I built in Shikkotsu a few years ago as soon as I got everyone settled at the ruins, but she isn't responding.
Which is fine, I guess she's busy being a goddess and all that. That, or she knows I've still got some choice words for her and is avoiding confrontation.
My issue I wanted to touch base with her on was mainly about my libido being out of whack this past week, and I didn't really have anyone to talk with about that. After much consideration, I sucked it up and spoke to my grandfather about it. Figured since I'm part Dire, he might know something, and it could be not related to anything Selene did at all. He ended up having some answers for me.
And the news isn't good.
He said I'm going through "the heat."
I know what that's like for ninken, I was forced to learn the shit at the Inuzuka ninken training center. None of that stuff ever happened to me and boy was I glad. I had regular human period with werewolf-level cramps that could knock you off your feet, sure, but I just pop some pills, drink some nasty-ass tea, eat some chocolate and/or spicy food and a bitch is ready to hit the do' cause I have shit to do and places to be.
I read fiction about werewolves and what their "heat" is like, but it's different nearly everywhere I read about it.
Now would be a great time for Selene to answer my call, but she is otherwise indisposed. So unfortunately, I only have a mixture of possibilities for what will happen to me based on what little grandpappy knew, as well as the fantasy books I've read in both this life and my last one.
So far, what I can gather that's probably fact for me, is that a werewolf gets their period around the same time human girls do but doesn't go through heat until meeting their mate.
Or in my case, mates.
Not only just "find" their mate for the first time but develop the bond to a certain level as well and reach "sexual maturity" or something. I think that's why even when I was with Gaara for three years, I didn't feel a sort of primal urge to rip his clothes off. We explored things about each other, experimented, established comfort zones and I had my first non-penetrative sexual experience with him, but only that last one was done with high libido. It was tentative steps that took months and months of dating and talking and trust-building.
Now, whenever I sleep and have actual dreams, it's of Gaara. Of him on his back, fully marked, chest covered in bites, face flushed pink as he blushes while I ride him like there's no tomorrow.
Needless to say, those dreams weren't the norm.
They didn't happen until after I left Suna and found out about Sasuke. Then, while attempting to keep my yearning to pin Sasuke a secret during the day while we were traveling together, whilst still trying to stay away from his alluring scent and find reasons to still resent him I may add, I was having dreams at night about doing some not-so-PG stuff to Gaara.
Those days were rough on my psyche, I tell ya. Meditation was my savior, and it helped that I was trying to locate the Uchiha Hideout during that time. I had a goal and stuck to it like glue to keep my sanity.
Soon, the dreams dissipated, and I could focus fully on finding Itachi before Sasuke did. Granted, while that tunnel vision did help me with my plan, it also was the whole reason I forgot about my whole ass conversation with Selene when I first got to the hideout. I unknowingly started repressing memories----- or tangling them, like what Inoichi saw in my head when I was a kid.
Then, a few days before talking with them both in Konoha hospital, I started feeling it.
That inexplicable "heat."
Some books I've read, the heat isn't even actual heat. Just called that but the wolf girl gets high libido and that's it.
Other books, it IS actual heat, hits them like a fucking truck and if they don't have sex, they can't even move after a few days, like they're coming down off an acid trip or paralyzed or something.
A few books even said you could DIE from the shit if you already had a mate and just were choosing NOT to have sex. Usually, this scenario was whenever the main characters were having a fight or sum shit, and then angry make-up sex saves the day, so it was never a dire situation in the first place. Basically, used by the author to speed up some relationships and add steamy scenes.
There was one book that tried making it sound like some real, science fiction type shit. Said it lasts two to four weeks, was accompanied with cramps but no period, mood swings, high libido, and increasing body temperature by the day until the full moon or whatever. But if they didn't do something about it by full moon, they could fall into a heat stroke or coma or some shit.
Which never happened, I might add, because in these books there were like, pack doctors or something and they had meds for unmated wolves in heat. But those books also were based on the Heat happening regardless of if they had a mate or not! Which is NOT my case!
UGH! This is so frustrating!
Where's a goddess's wisdom when you need it?
I didn't pay attention to this shit when I was reading those books.
I was reading for pack life, mystery, thriller, Greek mythology, and steamy mating scenes, dammit!
I let out a small sigh.
Calm down, calm down. Deep breaths, you're spiraling Moriko.
"Morning."
Sasuke's deep, groggy, sexy morning voice enters my eardrums, and my first lewd thought of the day is how nice it'd be to have him eat me out for breakfast.
Yo, what. . . the fuck.
I am NOT like this.
Or. . . am I?
Oh my goddess, these boys and this heat got me second guessing my own damn personal view of myself. I need Jes-- no wait, I need SELENE!
I sit up in the bed and take a few breaths, trying to think about ponies, springtime, rainbows, puppies eating peanut butter, and any other innocent thing I can think of.
"Are you alright? Did you have a nightmare?" He asks, sitting up along with me. He takes my hands in his, turns me to face him and connects my forehead with his.
"You don't have to talk yet. Just breathe with me. Nice and slow, okay?" He whispers softly, and the fact that he's asking and concerned, showing how much he cares and just how great a boyfriend he's being even though we've only been official for like a week is not helping my libido in the slightest because everything he's doing is a turn-on of some sort.
For heaven's sake, I just woke the fuck UP!
"It's not a nightmare." I manage to get out, breaking our forehead-touch. "I just don't. . . feel like myself." I close my eyes and keep them shut, trying to focus on the image I've conjured: a baby alicorn and puppy sharing a jar of peanut butter underneath a rainbow in a springtime meadow.
Flurry Heart and baby Bolt sharing peanut butter.. .
Flurry Heart and baby Bolt sharing peanut butter. . .
"I think. . . I think I know what's wrong, Moriko." Sasuke's voice enters my eardrums again, but it's laced heavily with worry. "And I think I can help."
I seriously doubt he knows a thing and the last thing I want is for him to know anyway. Sure, we tease each other a lot, and the embarrassment levels are up there, but there are some levels of embarrassment I just don't ever want to get to.
One of them is being the extremely horny werewolf girlfriend who wears out her human boyfriend's stamina. As if I don't have enough to worry about already.
"I think I just need to eat something."
"That's a lie." He calls my bluff, and I feel stupid for lying as I remember he can always tell when I'm lying.
Note to self: find out how he does that shit. Is it my face?
"I don't want to talk about it." I respond, turning away from the sound of his voice and finally opening my eyes.
"Then don't talk. Listen." He says. "You've been really, um. . . active this past week."
Shit. He knows.
How the fuck does he know?
So. . . I am tiring him out then?
This is one of the reasons why I was trying to stay away. Limit myself to once every few nights or something. But I like our late-night talks and games and I lost the battle.
Now it's grown to every night and we don't talk as much. We just immediate lip-lock.
Damn, what if I hurt him?
I've got to get my shit together.
"S. . . Sorry. I'll get a handle on it." I mumble with my eyes downcast to my lap.
"That's what you've been trying to do the past week, right? By only coming to me at night, right before bed. But it isn't working, is it?" He inches closer to me, to the point where I can feel his breath on the back of my neck. "Mori, I know you're. . . frustrated."
Never have I hated that word more than I do now.
I jump out from under the covers and scoot to the edge of the bed, reaching for my sandals.
Time.
To.
Skedaddle.
"I should go now. It's morning."
"Moriko."
"The others will be up soon. There's leftover rabbit stew, but that's not really a breakfast-type meal." I blabber on. "I spotted a giant sparrow's nest on my hunt last night. Might be some eggs in there. I brought some rice in a scroll, so I can make some egg rice."
"Moriko, you can't avoid this conversation."
The hell I can't. Watch me.
"You're sexually frustrated and embarrassed about it. But you shouldn't be."
Since when is this nigga an expert?
"We can talk about this later, Sasuke."
"You're lying again. I didn't even need to see your tell to know that." He scoffs. "There won't be a later; you'll avoid this like the plague."
And yet, Sasuke just keeps. . . . talking. Like damn, I thought you didn't like talking to people?
Oh wait, I don't think that applied when it was me he was talking to.
Shit.
He comes and sits right next to me at the edge and grabs the remaining sandal I didn't put on yet. Normally, that would not stop me from leaving because I could just shift into my wolf form and have my feet padded and protected.
But he knows I cannot shift here and will not leave without my shoes. Partly because I made them myself; first pair I ever made myself and they came out gorgeous.
"Moriko, you're frustrated." He repeats, and I realize he has no shirt on.
Am I trippin, or did he have a shirt on last night?
AND PANTS!
I never noticed he has a little beauty mark of his own. . . right along the toned outline of his pelvic bone. Which is partially visible, the rest is hidden beneath those unnecessary trousers.
Wait, unnecessary?!
I shake my head and then turn to stare at the stone floor, hoping I shook off some of those thoughts in the process.
Girl, go douse yourself in some holy water.
"And you keep denying that you are because if you were to accept that, it would mean your body is ready to have sex even though you. . . are not."
"Sasuke, on god, you need to gimme back my sandal." I threaten him, though we can both tell it's an empty threat. I doubt I could do anything to him right now and even if I could, I'd feel immediately guilty because none of this is even his fault.
"Or what? You'll hit me? Tch, You can't even look at me."
"I won't hit you. I only did that one time before because you were insulting someone I care about. I'd never hit you outside of a reason besides that." I clarify for some reason.
It's never cool to hit your partner outside of a joke y'all both are SURE is an actual joke or you're sparring or something, but that's beside the point. Am I suddenly a pacifist? What the hell is going on and what does that have to do with anything right now?
My skin starts to feel hot, yet again, now that I'm officially awake and Sasuke's scent seems to get stronger despite him having not moved.
Shitshitshitshit.
Damn, you can't wait 'til nighttime, Heat?
It's givin' hoe energy. I ain't even eat yet.
"I know, Mori." He sighs. "Look at me."
"Nope."
"Mori--"
"Give. Me. My. Sandal." I continue my staring match with the floor but hold out my hand, waiting impatiently for my personal item to be returned.
So I can whack you cross the head with it, I am done being a pacifist. Longest four and a half seconds of my life.
"Sure. I'll do you one better." He says matter-of-factly, then suddenly he is on his knees in front of me and lifts my bare foot to slide the sandal on. It's a high-rising sandal that goes halfway up my leg like a sleeve. He smirks once our eyes meet as I'm frozen in shock at the gesture. His hand slides up my leg as he pulls the sleeve of the sandal on me, the sparks flying up my leg and heading straight for my core. It takes everything I have to stay still.
Because if I move, it damn sure won't be for me to leave.
Once my sandal is completely on, Sasuke looks up at me with his stupid grin and says, "I'm surprised you let me do that."
"I. . .you. . . uh. .." Words stumble out my mouth, not a sentence. Because a sentence takes intelligence. And I've lost the ability to be intelligent apparently.
Funny how he's the one on his knees, but I'm the one who's dumbstruck and probably can't stand if I tried to.
"You once told a story about something like this, I think. I pretended to play Solitaire in the corner of the hospital room while the kids listened to your tale of. . . what was it again? Cinderella?"
"You were listening?" I don't know why that fact catches me off-guard, but it does.
He nods. "Beats playing Solitaire." And his answer makes me wonder why he bothered to learn Solitaire from me in the first place. Was it just so he and I could have alone time? He never interacted with Sakura during that party, now that I think about it, even though he was the one who suggested it to me.
I got so excited about the idea of him wanting to do something nice for her and pushed for the party. I gave him credit for it even though I planned most of it, while he just helped decorate and set a meet time.
I'm only now realizing that he just. . . sat in the corner the whole time and listened to the stories and movies I told the kids. He didn't engage with anyone. I thought he was there for Sakura and was just too shy to interact since her parents were also there.
I knew he cared about her because he suggested the Get-well party, but I guess I blew it out of proportion. He wasn't there because Sakura wanted him to be, even though he did want her to get better. . .
He was only there because I wanted him to be.
My eyes widen as I continue to stare at him in shock. How the fuck was I this oblivious?
He helped me throw a whole-ass party for her, when I think all he really wanted when he suggested doing something for Sakura was to write her a card and send a flower or something.
"Moriko, I've got to ask you something." He starts, and I just nod to acknowledge that I heard him when really my mind is blown at these new facts that are coming to light.
"That one play you did. . . Alvin and the Chipmunks kind of reminded me of team seven. Was it loosely based off of us? Or was Theodore supposed to be Hinata or something?"
"Hm? Uh. . . no, I--"
He gets up from the floor abruptly and grabs both my hands, placing them on his chest. "Good, now your guard is down."
Dammit, I was supposed to be leaving.
His broad chest feels cool against my skin. I almost never want to let go.
"Listen, Moriko. You're not going to do anything crazy and neither am I. So stop holding back. We won't have sex. But you. . . need release, don't you? Or else something will happen I'm guessing. Something you. . . don't want to tell me?"
He smells reeeeeaaaaally good.
And my resolve to keep quiet about it all gets tossed out the window.
"Yes. You're right. About everything." I say in a monotone voice, sole focused on mapping his chest with my fingers and inhaling more and more of his tomatoey, strawberry-esque scent. He could ask me to do almost anything now and I'd do it.
Not that I'll ever tell the arrogant Uchiha that. I'd never live it down.
"Are you going to tell me more?"
"Please don't make me." My embarrassment still brims beneath the surface, enough of it left for me to resist telling him more.
How do you tell your boyfriend you want sex but not really? That you NEED it, but don't want it? What kind of mixed signal is that bullshit? This ain't that kinda anime. Not finna take thirteen years to get to the confession episode, only to realize it wasn't a clear confession once you get to year fourteen.
He sighs. "I rather you not hide it from me. But I won't force the truth out of you so long as it doesn't put you in danger."
I stay silent, not sure how to answer. I don't know that it will put me in danger, the whole "in heat" situation, and maybe for once I can be optimistic about it.
He takes my silence as confirmation and his small smile returns.
"From now on, come to me whenever you're like this. Don't push it down until nightfall anymore. I don't think it's helping you."
"I. . . can't---"
"Do you trust me?"
"Yes." I answer without a hitch, surprising myself just a little at how easily I said it. I already knew it to be true, but knowing and saying are two completely different things.
"Do you trust yourself?"
"N. . . No. . ."
Not in this state I don't.
"Well I trust you. Do you think that I shouldn't? Do you think you'll try and hurt me just to satisfy yourself?"
"NO! I'D NEVER DO THAT TO YOU!" I shout, finally breaking out the trance-like state his body and scent had me wrapped in. He smirks at my outburst, and I'm slightly offended at the remark.
"Well look who's back. And it was easier with my help, right?" His hands come up to cup my face. "One more thing: do you think that your deity, who knows about your past life, would give you something you couldn't handle or fight against? Especially under these circumstances?"
". . . No. She wouldn't." I quietly answer.
If I don't want to have sex yet and I trust that he won't push me to. . .
Then why am I trying to limit contact with him?
Maybe staying close to him will actually help with the Heat.
His hands fall back down to intertwine with mine, and he pulls me up so we're standing before each other.
"I know whatever's happening to you is related to the bond and me being your mate. I know you're tempted to mark me every day and you fight it. You're just struggling, Moriko. You're not losing though. But you will if you don't let me help you."
Struggling but not losing. . .
Huh. Maybe he can help me.
[Says the boy who hates asking for help.] I send to him through our link.
"You're the exact same, but whatever." He scoffs lightly, with a smile still adorning his face. The sight brings on my own smile as well.
"I ask for help." I protest. He gives me his 'I don't believe you' look, and I let out a small scoff. "Okay, maybe not as often as I should, but I do. And this isn't exactly easy to put into words, Sasuke."
He smirks. "My girlfriend being a little horny is not an issue for me. I'm not embarrassed about it, and you shouldn't be either."
His ears turn pink as he adds, "I'm realizing I've never said this, but you're. . . you're very attractive Moriko. It's exciting. . . knowing you want me. You don't have to hide it from me during the day anymore. Just come to me. And. . ." He looks away from me all shy and says, "I'll make you feel better. In any way I can that still honors our promise."
Who knew he was hiding all of these words and feelings? Pfft, I feel like an idiot.
Sasuke has always been more than meets the eye. He just hides it.
But not anymore and certainly not from me. And he keeps trying to tell and show me that and it's only just now clicking.
I should've known but I was too focused on dealing with this myself.
"You and I need to talk more." I laugh. "I feel like every time we do, I realize something that should've been obvious."
"We can talk later." And I notice his shy, quiet voice is gone. It's been replaced with his groggy, sexy morning voice again and he's started kissing along my jawline, trailing down to my neck. "All I want to hear from you now is you moaning my name into the bedsheets."
Maybe I will get what I want for breakfast today.
I mean the egg rice, obviously.