Eleven weeks after Lee's death.
Alex could see the red X next to her psych evaluation on her phone. She signed, angry that she still wasn't cleared even though she had told her boss she was fine to come back. She had finally made an appointment though for next week.
A truck pulled up next to the main house. Alex was sitting, bundled in one of Beth's large coats on the front porch. Two Livestock Agents stepped out, one nodding his head toward Alex.
"Howdy," He told her.
"Can I help you?" Alex asked, standing.
"We're looking for our boss?" The guy smiled. "You seen Dutton around here?"
"Throw a rock and you're bound to hit one of 'em," Alex smirked.
"Sorry," The guy glanced at his partner. "We're looking for Kayce Dutton."
"I know which one is Livestock Commissioner," Alex nodded. "Let me get him for you."
She walked back inside the lodge, glancing in the living room while she made her way up the stairs. She walked down the hallway, hearing voices raised as she did. She almost got to Kayce's door when the room where Monica and Tate had been staying opened up, Monica walking out in a huff.
"What now?" She snapped at Alex.
"Excuse me?" Alex glared at Monica, seeing Kayce come out from behind her.
"Monica," Kayce said in a warning tone.
Monica gave Alex an icy glare before walking down the hallway in the other direction. Kayce stepped up to Alex.
"Sorry about that," Kayce sighed.
"What happened?" Alex asked.
"I brought up her possibly going back to the reservation and she didn't take too kindly to that," Kayce frowned.
"And seeing me when she walked out probably wasn't the best thing," Alex looked up at Kayce. "You've got two agents out front looking for you."
"Probably wondering where I've been," Kayce put his hat on that had been in his hand.
It was then Alex noticed Kayce dressed like he was headed out for work.
"Where are you going?" She asked him as they both walked back down the stairs.
"Why?" Kayce smiled at her. "Worried you'll miss me?"
"What?" Alex felt herself go red.
"Need to check on a call-out near Emigrant," Kayce told her, grabbing his jacket by the front door.
"What happened?" Alex asked.
"Uh..." Kayce looked at her. "Boyd Nelson killed himself and for some reason, I need to be in on it."
"Shit," Alex frowned. "Did you know him?"
"No," Kayce shook her head, fixing the collar of his jacket.
"Well...be careful," Alex told him and Kayce's frown turned into another small smile.
His eyes were softer looking now, almost glazed over as he looked at Alex.
"What?" She asked.
Kayce glanced up the stairs and then behind Alex. He then reached out and pulled her closer to him by her belt loop. Alex giggled, right before their lips met in a warm kiss. Her fingers danced across the scruff of his beard as Kayce kissed her again.
"Morning," Kayce mumbled against her lips.
"Morning," Alex sighed as Kayce pulled back up.
Their kisses had become more frequent this past week. Always alone, secluded from anyone and everyone but each one warmed Alex one degree hotter and she'd been an ice queen for a while now. No one knew, and it was exactly how Alex wanted it because she didn't even know what it was, let alone want anyone else in on it.
"When will you be back?" Alex asked him.
"Not sure," Kayce shrugged. "Would you mind..."
"What?" Alex looked at him.
"Tate's had a lot of mom and dad time," Kayce was choosing his words. "If you've got some free time today would you see if he could hang with you? You don't have to do anything really. Just have someone other than us around him?"
"I was gonna see if I could tag along to the grocery store with Gator and the wranglers later," Alex offered. "Could see if Tate wanted to come with?"
"Sure," Kayce nodded. "If you can get him out of this house then more power to you."
"What about Monica?" Alex said as Kayce opened the door,
"Steer clear of her if you can," Kayce nodded before walking out of the house.
**
"Surprised you were allowed out," Lloyd looked over his shoulder at Tate and Alex in the backseat of the truck.
"We didn't tell Mom," Tate smirked.
"We told her," Alex glared at Tate.
"You wrote her a fucking note, Alex," Rip laughed from the driver's seat. "She's gonna have your hide when we get back."
"I can take her," Alex shrugged and looked out the window. "And besides...I told his father and he was fine with it."
"Of course, he was," Rip pulled into the parking lot.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Alex frowned.
"Alright," Rip parked the truck. "Now we're here to get what's on the list and only what's on the list...everyone got that?"
"Got it, Mom," Alex opened her door and they all piled out.
**
Alex walked with Tate down the magazine aisle as they waited for Lloyd and Rip to finish their rounds. She let Tate walk a bit in front of her while her eyes glanced at the rows of printed pictures.
"Oh, look at that," Tate pointed at one of the magazines.
Alex bent her head lower to see which one he was pointing at. It was one of the hunting ones, a new rifle was shown with gadgets and colorful wordings all around it. Alex raised her eyebrow and looked at Tate.
"Ain't she pretty?" Tate smiled at the picture.
"Tate," Alex laughed. "It's a gun...not a woman."
"Guns can't be pretty?" Tate looked up at her.
"No," Alex shook her head. "But girls can?"
"Ew, no thanks," Tate made a face and walked on.
"Just wait until you start looking at girls," Alex giggled, ruffling Tate's hair.
"Girls are mean," Tate looked up at her.
"What girls are mean?" Alex looked down at him. "Am I mean?"
"No, you ain't mean," Tate sighed and tried to walk away.
Alex reached out and pulled him back close to her, tilting his head up at her.
"Who's mean to you?" She asked.
"My cousins," Tate mumbled finally.
Alex thought a moment.
"On the Res?" She asked and Tate nodded. "Sometimes family can just be...difficult."
"All family?" Tate asked her.
"All the ones I've ever known," Alex nodded her head. "What do your cousins do?"
"They just make fun of me," Tate shrugged.
Alex knew that two days ago, Kayce drove Monica and Tate to the Reservation to grab a few things. It was a fast trip, then they were back in three hours.
"Because of what happened?" Alex frowned.
"Yeah," Tate nodded.
"What do your parents say?" Alex shoved her hands in her pockets.
"Dad gets angry and yells that I need to be tougher," Tate shrugged. "Mom cries a lot and says mean things."
"Your mom says mean things?" Alex was curious now and she knew she shouldn't be.
Alex was on high alert when it came to Monica and for good reason. Making out with her husband in secluded rooms and corners the past week would increase anyone's anxiety. It made Alex more aware of Monica, how she looked at her, how she acted around her...it was a ticking time bomb that Alex kept pushing away because she was scared.
"Does she say them to you?" Alex asked after Tate nodded.
"No...to Dad," Tate stopped and looked up at Alex. "She made Dad cry."
Alex felt a mixture of sick to her stomach and rage. Swallowing her anger, Alex reached out and brushed Tate's hair back, it had finally grown out some.
"Just...love on your Dad some okay?" Alex decided that for Tate's sake, she should try to not put ideas or opinions in his head. "He was...really scared about you being taken. It almost killed him he was so scared. I know what we went through, but your Dad went through a lot too. So did your mom."
"I do love my Dad," Tate looked at Alex confused.
"Do you tell him that?" Alex asked.
Tate shook his head no.
"Tell him you do," Alex nodded. "It'll make you both feel better."
Rip walked up to them and nodded his head for them to follow. The car ride home was pretty quiet, but Lloyd had managed to grab a bag of gummy bears that were certainly not on the list Rip had discussed earlier.
Pulling up to the main lodge though, Monica was seen storming out of the front porch.
"Alex?" Rip glanced back as he put the truck in park.
"I got it," Alex opened her door and glanced at Tate. "Stay with the guys, buddy."
Tate nodded as Alex shut her door and turned around to face Monica.
"What is your fucking problem?" Monica snapped.
"We just went to the store," Alex told her.
"He's not allowed out," Monica yelled.
"We were with Rip and Lloud," Alex shrugged. "And he can go out...it did him some good if I'm being honest."
"Suddenly you're his mother?" Monica's glare was chilling.
"I didn't say that," Alex stood her ground. "Besides, I told Kayce this morning and he said it was okay."
"Of course you'd ask him," Monica sneered.
"What does that mean?" Alex shivered in the wind.
"You can't take my son and just leave some fucking note," Monica breathed out. "With what happened to him, he can't just go off wherever with whoever."
"What happened to him, huh?" Alex crossed her arms.
"He's not okay," Monica said. "He's getting better but he can't rush things. God, why would you do something like this?"
"It was the store," Alex said again. "And he did just fine...we both did, in case you're wondering."
"What?" Monica asked.
"Tate wasn't the only one who was taken," Alex narrowed her eyes.
"You're not seven," Monica pointed out.
"No, I'm not," Alex nodded. "But I also had about five days on him in that hell hole of a place."
Monica's mouth shut.
"You have no idea what that was like," Alex snapped. "You have no idea what happened to me, how they treated me...what they did to me."
Kayce and John were now walking up to the pair from the main house. Kayce had a deep frown on his face when he realized it was Alex and Monica arguing.
"I'm sorry about what happened to you, but Tate's my son," Monica said. "I have to take care of him and protect him."
"No one is questioning that," Alex sighed. "We went to the store, with others...we were just fine and it was good for him to get out from under your fucking thumb for an hour!"
"How dare you!" Monica cried.
"You want him to heal?" Alex threw her hand up. "You gotta let him breathe! He's got to get back out into some normalcy...all you do is keep him in the room, or watch over him every single second he's not."
"You're not a mother!" Monica said. "You have no idea what's best for him."
"I'm saying what happened to him, happened to me!" Alex argued. "I know what it's like. I know what he's going through."
"You are not him," Monic stepped closer. "I'm sorry for what happened to you, but Tate is not you. You can't say that what worked for you would work for him! You don't know him. You're not a mother!"
"Stop saying I'm not a mother," Alex growled lowly.
"And you keep inserting yourself into our lives," Monica continued. "You're always here, every where I turn you're always fucking here!"
"I live here," Alex looked around as if it were obvious.
"Why though? Why are you still here?" Monica asked.
"Monica," Kayce spoke for the first time.
"Don't defend her," Monica snapped at him.
"This is my home," Alex stepped forward. "I'm allowed to be here."
"You aren't part of this family!" Monica told her.
"Neither are you!" Alex yelled and then stopped talking.
Monica looked at her as if a secret had been shouted out. In some ways, maybe Alex had. Kayce had told her that only the three of them knew, but would John pick up on what Alex had just said? Or would he think Alex meant more symbolically? That Monic hated this place, no way she'd ever be fully part of it.
"Stay away from my son," Monica glared.
"That's enough," Kayce stepped over to them. "Monica."
"No!" Monica turned to him. "She's done...I don't want her near me or our son, our son, Kayce."
Alex was shaking her head.
"Tate!" Monica called, looking behind Alex. "Tate, get out!"
Alex heard the truck door open and shut.
"Let's go," Monica held out her hand for Tate to take.
Kayce looked at Alex, his eyes dull and almost scared in a way Alex hadn't seen. She felt her throat tightening though.
"We're leaving," Monica said, looking at Kayce. "We're all going back to the Res so we can heal as a family and not be here where no one is safe."
That felt like a sucker punch to Alex.
"Monica, stop," Kayce said but walked after her.
Alex glanced at John who was looking confused at what just took place. She felt panic swell in her stomach as she looked back at Monica.
"It was supposed to be you!" Alex yelled, making everyone stop and look at her.
Monica looked confused. Tears welled up in Alex's eyes as she felt a release from her statement.
"Alex..." Kayce gave her a sad look.
"They were supposed to take you," Alex said, hiccuping. "B-But they grabbed me. They took me instead."
"What?" Monica let go of Tate's hand. "Why?"
"Because they thought I was you," Alex held her hands up in a shrug and then let them drop to her thighs. "I don't know."
"Why would they think you were me?" Monica asked. "That doesn't make any sense."
"I don't know," Alex shook her head. "Maybe because we're both fucking Indians and they're idiots not from here...they just did. So don't think seeing you every fucking day has been easy for me because it hasn't. You're a constant reminder of who they wanted, but then who they actually got!"
Monica glanced at Kayce, but his eyes were on Alex. Tate looked scared and John finally seemed to catch up as to what was happening around him at the moment.
"Monica," John looked at her. "You and I both know the safest place right now, is here. Taking Tate away will only add pressure to an already...difficult situation."
Alex looked down at the ground to avoid John's gaze.
"What I think is needed right now, is a break," John nodded. "Everyone go calm down...we can try again at supper. I'd like everyone in the dining room tonight."
Alex winced as if John had slapped her. The last thing she needed to do was share a meal with Monica after their blow-up. Monica didn't say anything but walked off, this time not pulling Tate behind her.
"Dad?" Tate looked at Kayce.
"Go with your mom, buddy," Kayce nodded. "I'll be in there in a bit."
Alex looked up and saw Tate watching her.
"I'm sorry, Tate," Alex whispered.
She knew Tate might not understand what just was said, but he at least nodded his head and turned around to head inside with his mom. Kayce turned and looked at Alex and his father. Alex swallowed harshly.
"I'm sorry," She said quietly to John.
"Don't apologize unless you did something wrong," John told her. "Was anything you said a lie?"
"No," Alex said. "But that doesn't mean I should have said it though."
John nodded his head and looked at Kayce.
"I don't know what the fuck is going on between you and Monica," John sighed. "But figure it out...fast. I don't want a repeat of this again. If we're going to move on, then we need to all move on."
John walked off past Kayce and into the house. Kayce and Alex both stared at each other. It had started to mist slightly around them. Kayce's eyes were sympathetic as he looked at Alex.
"That was a lot of pent-up anger," Kayce said gently.
"Yeah," Alex shoved her hands into her jean pockets. "Clearly she brings it out in me."
"You sure none of it should be directed at me?" Kayce tilted his head.
Alex gave Kayce a weird look.
"What?" Alex asked.
"I wouldn't blame you if you were," Kayce shrugged. "What I'm making you do isn't fair."
"Making me do?" Alex said slowly. "Just what are you making me do?"
"Whatever's been going on between us the past week or so," Kayce sighed.
"I can't do this right now," Alex shook her head and walked past Kayce, but stopped and faced him again. "No, actually I can. One...you're not making me do anything. What I've done this past week is what I've wanted to do. Right or wrong. And two...don't you dare be some fucking martyr about whatever this is."
"That's not what I'm doing," Kayce frowned.
"Yes you are," Alex argued. "If you want this, if you want me...then own that. Don't look for ways to be punished because you feel bad for another party."
Kayce's eyes widened at Alex's word.
"The three of us are adults," Alex continued. "And now, all of my and Monica's opinions have been brought out...so the ball is in your court, Kayce."
Alex turned around and walked inside because she knew if she stayed then she would start to cry. She got all the way into her bedroom, door shut, before she fell onto her bed and let a few tears fall.