“Stop fidgetting, Allie.” Jake attempts to calm me, but nothing seemed to be working whatsoever. I was squirming around and couldn’t see straight. Not to mention my stomach was doing flips and whenever Jake turned the car I freaked and almost puked all over the car floor. Jake’s cool hand is intertwined with my own in between the seats as he keeps the car in control with one hand on the wheel.
“Sorry, I don’t think I’m ready for this, Jake.” I turn his way with a worried expression on my face. His eyes have concern in them, but he attempts to cover it up with a fake smile from ear to ear. “Jake, please. You don’t have to be happy about this…it’s probably not-”
Jake hits the steering wheel with his hand that he‘s taken out of my own tangle of fingers, his knuckles glowering red from the sudden impact. “Damn it, Allie! Stop saying that it probably isn’t mine! We have a chance at least, don’t we?” He turned fully in his seat, facing me with a pleading look in his eyes. He really did want me to understand.
Frowning, I just cant get a grasp on this. Even though I’d been what I’d been, why would God go and do this to me? I hadn’t been prostituting since that night when I needed money for the spaghetti sauce. And that was only because I wanted to be independent, and keep the one thing I had left, my pride. I would never ask Jake for money like that.
Before I realize it, we’re at the doctor’s office parking lot. It’s a small clinic for girls my around my age group who one, don’t want their parents find out or want to keep it confidential, and obviously I came for the second one, like my dad cared if I got knocked up or not. It sounded sluttish, but who was I kidding? Or two, they just wanted it to be less expensive and you didn’t even have to call in for an appointment. Good thing Jake didn’t know what a cheapo place this was, or he’d flip and take me to get signed up with a family doctor.
“Uh, Allie, are you sure this is where you wanna go?” Jake asked, cocking an eyebrow, frowning at the place in disapproval already by the advertisement underneath their name.
‘Knocked up? Prices knocked down.’
“Yeah, I go here for all of my…appointments.” I explain, struggling to open my car door with the cast on my arm. Fumbling with the handle, no less than two seconds later Jake is at my door, opening it up for me like a true gentlemen.
“Now, your sure you don’t want the wheel chair?” He persuades. I already know he prefers me using the wheel chair rather than the crutches, but I felt better with them; not like a complete dud who couldn’t handle doing anything on her own.
“Yes,” I say, grabbing the crutches with my good hand from his firm grasp, “go on, go play some football with your buddies or something.” I say, shooing him away with my hand like one might shoo away a fly off of their shoulder when they just won’t quit following you. I loved Jake more than anything, but sometimes, he cared too much for a girl who wasn’t used to having anyone care whether she had two shoes on her feet or a shirt on her back.
“Come on, please, can I go with you?” Jake leaned up against the car while I depended completely on my crutches, giving me puppy dog eyes. I huff and give him a flat look.
Biting my bottom lip, I reluctantly utter a response. “No.” I say, turning around and beginning to crutch away.
“Please?” Jake whined, louder as I crutched away.
“No way, Jose!” I say with a slight giggle.
“Since when am I Mexican?” Jake joked back.
“Since your making me tacos tonight!” I call, “Pick me up at four-thirty!” I call to him before I fully enter the clinic. Shoo, it was really tough saying no to the person you loved. Guess that’s the concept of tough love.
Entering the clinic, everyone was quiet, the only evident noise indicating that somebody was in the room was the two small toddlers playing with toys on the ground next to their impatient mother’s who were reading magazines and tapping their foot on the ground in an attempt to ease their nerves. I was far past that technique, my hands were shaking and my palms were sweaty so I rubbed it off on my jeans.
“Allie Sampson.” I give the girl receptionist my name and she types a few keys on the computer in front of her, smiling at me. Her eyes shone with sympathy, which I winced at. Did she think I was too young to raise a child, or did she just feel bad for me thanks to all my broken bones.
“Okay, the doctor will be right with you, take a seat.” She smiled warmly once more before directing me to the only empty chair in the lobby waiting room. Shifting my purse farther up my good arm, I struggle to make my crutches stand up straight next to me. Accidentally, they fall to the ground and my cheeks heat up as every women in the room stares at me with careful eyes.
A girl about my age, maybe a bit older smiled up at me, and hurriedly picked my crutches up off the ground. Getting a better look at her, her eyes seemed distant or tired and her face was a bit dirty, her short blonde hair seemingly cut off. “M-my name’s Allie.” I say, trying to speak before the girl thought I was rude for staring.
“Cindy.” She reaches out her hand, but instead pulls me into a comforting hug. Surprisingly, I didn’t find it strange at all, it felt good that another girl in the room actually understood where I was coming from and how horrible I felt. “Oops, Thomas, please play nice with your brother!” The two toddlers with blonde hair and blue eyes resembled their mother’s precisely.
You could see she actually cared for her sons by the way her eyes lit up when she scolded them for being rough with each other. The smaller toddler, ‘Thomas’ had hit the older boy with a block in the forehead, and now he was screaming bloody murder. The others tried to ignore it by bringing their Parent Magazine’s closer to their noses, but the few males that were in the room couldn’t take it and left.
“So, how is being a mom?” I ask with a curious expression on my face. It was hard to believe that Jake wanted to be a part of all my baby drama.
“Its…tiring.” She said in all seriousness. “But at the end of the day your actually kind of happy at the asshole who did it to you because you’ve created two little miracles that you love and get to hold and hug everyday.” She picked up the younger boy, he was playing with his overall strap. The other boy had the same sort of outfit on.
“What’d you do to your arm?” The boy asks, looking down at it carefully.
“O-oh. I just kind of fell.” I explain, not wanting to admit that some psycho chick had smashed my arm and ribs with a hammer. I didn’t want to frighten the little boy.
“Thomas, don’t be rude! I’m sorry-”
“No, it’s fine, he’s only a kid.” I say, shrugging my shoulders.
Fifteen minutes later, Cindy is in her doctor’s appointment, so I’m tending to her kids while she’s away just to be nice. Thomas cries so loud I feel like my eardrums will burst, but his older brother whose name I learn is Kameron is also willing to help me out and shushes his brother with soothing words and calming, circular motions. How was I ever going to care for a baby when I couldn’t watch someone else’s for a few seconds?
Angry with myself for letting something like this happen, I throw my head into my hands and feel like crying, but don’t let my emotions get the best of me. I have to prove I’m strong if I’m going to raise a baby. Moving my hands down to my stomach, I feel around. shouldn’t I know if there’s a baby growing inside of me? Grumbling to myself some more, I decide to stare at what I haven’t all morning.
The ring.
It shone in the sunlight and sparkled. Admiring it some more, it confirmed my dream of getting married to Jake. Cindy came out of the office, crying hysterically. Doing a double-take on her kids, their coloring happily so I take the time to pull her aside and hug her like she did me. “What’s wrong?” I ask, worried at the tears flowing down her gorgeous cheek bones.
“I-I’m pregnant! With an older man’s baby!” She exclaimed. “To make money, I did a little prostitution and my husband caught me, left me, and told me to take my kids and leave. I did and I thought maybe I-I’d be okay and all, until the court claimed he doesn’t have to pay child support anymore!” She sobbed some more, soaking my shirt with tears. “It was a mistake!” She groaned, as I continued rubbing her back.
“It’ll be fine. Everything works out eventually.” I whisper, trying to convince myself of the words that had just come out of my mouth.
“No,” She sniffled, fresh tears rolling over, “I-I have no where to go. The only place left is a shelter. And I cant be degraded like that again!” She said, clenching her fists, suddenly angry.
My mind was racing with thoughts of what to do. “I got it! You can come stay with me. My roomate, Maria Sanchez, passed away a few months ago and there’s a completely vacant room. The boys could even stay in my little brother, Caleb’s, bedroom.” I explain, gripping her shoulders.
“Thanks, but that’s a bit strange. The man I had an affair with said he had to kids named Caleb and…oh god!” She exclaimed, pointing my way with a shaky finger.
“No…” I say, trailing off my words, shaking off the ridiculous coincidence out of my mind.
“You did say your name was Allie…” She said. “Oh no! I cant possibly stay now. I had an affair with your dad!” She whined, sobbing harder.
“Get. A. Grip.” I say, emphasizing each of my words.
“Well, now what?” She asks, wiping tears away.
“You can still stay with me. Just let me finish my doctor’s appointment and I’ll figure this out.” I say, smiling warmly at her, although at the thought of her and my dad…it made me want to puke up blood.
“Allie Sampson?” The familiar receptionist called out. Smiling and rubbing Cindy’s back once more, I head back into the doctor’s room and he closes the door, smiling at me.
“Hello, Allie. How are you on this fine afternoon?” He had a strange look in his eyes, but I chose to ignore it. Stupid, stupid, me.
“Fine…” I say, just wanting to get the tests over.
“Lean back and I’ll just examine you.” About fifteen minutes later, things were getting strange. “Okay, now take your shirt off and let me examine you.” He whispered, huskily at that. That’s the point where I should have done something to stop him. The place was suspicious anyways. The waiting rooms were paradise compared to the actual examination rooms.
I do so, wanting him to leave me alone. “Uh?” I say, gesturing to my broken arm. He helps me out and then he just stares at my chest, leaving me feeling completely awkward. “Just let me.” Before I know what’s happening, I’m laying completely on my back and the doctor is kissing me roughly, moving his hands up and down my body.
“No!” I screamed, thrashing away from him. “You pig!” I slap him in the face, and he slaps me back. Angry, I use all of my adrenaline and kick him with my good foot, crutching out of there. The man kicked me in the stomach before letting me off completely after I kneed him one in the groin.
The blow had knocked me straight to the ground, leaving me crawling helplessly on the floor. Cindy finds me doubled over in pain and is extremely alarmed. “It’s okay, Allie. Your okay.” She sooths, grabbing my cell phone out of my pocket.
“Call Jake.” I say in a whisper, my stomach in unbearable pain.
Cindy reaches for the cell phone in my hand and shakily calls Jake. “Put her on the phone whoever you are!” I hear him yell, he’s so worried and loud.
“Uh, you kinda cant, and I’m Cindy, her friend she met at the clinic. I don’t know what’s happened, but I’m going to take her to the hospital, meet us there.” She explained, pressing end on my phone as a young boy probably around my age helped me into the backseat of my car, me grasping my stomach. The pain was unbearing.
As we drove, Cindy was giving me a panic attack by just driving. Her two boys were in between me, fussing over not getting to sit in the passenger seat. I rub my throbbing temples, unable to take their constant shouting. “Boys!” I say through clenched teeth, unable to help my snappiness. I think Cindy understood, because she just kept glancing at me throughout the rearview mirror. “Watch the road!” I say, clutching my stomach.
Dizziness swept over me and I was coming in and out of focus. “Okay, come on!” Parking the car sloppily on the side of the curb after hitting it a few times, she helps me out of the car, but soon I’m in Jake’s arms, him rushing me through the doors bridal style. Don’t ask me how that happened, I couldn’t tell you for the sake of my life.
“Allie, come on, stay with me. Help’s on the way! Somebody get me a damn doctor in this place!” Jake snapped, angry at the slow people in the hospital. They should be saving lives, not standing around talking about some comedy show they saw last weekend.
My vision was still completely blurred, and I couldn’t stay anything. Couldn’t even speak. “Last thing you had to drink?” A doctor questioned, shining a small flashlight into each one of my pupils. This was getting old, why did they always do that?
“Uh…” I said, racing to think. “Water…” I rub my temples again.
“Pregnant, four and a half weeks.”
Thinking about what he’s saying, Jake glances at me, my stomach, and a flash of concern passes through his eyes. “Doctor, will she be okay?” He asks, squeezing my hand a bit tighter.
“She’s fine, I’m afraid-” Before I could even think about hearing what he said, I black out from all of the severe pain and dizziness.
Beeping fills my eardrums and the smell of various medications enters my nostrils. I don’t need to open my eyes to know where I am anymore. They probably know my name by heart. I force them open anyways, there was only one thing I cared about. “Where’s my baby?” I ask, half loopy from the medications.
“Um, Allie, Jake went down to the cafeteria. Poor boy’s been sitting right here with you for three days straight.” Naomi shakes her head sadly.
“Three days?” I gawk, sitting up in my hospital bed.
“Well, yeah.” Naomi shrugs. “I think I should tell you though, so he doesn’t have to cry anymore…the baby, it, uh, didn’t make it through the pre-mature birth.” Naomi had tears in her eyes, and my world was shattered instantly. I cried and sobbed and Naomi just held me and rocked me back and forth. I’m glad I had a friend like her, one who just sat and hugged me, didn’t ask any questions.
By the time I had finished crying, in front of Naomi anyways, my eyes were poofy, my face was red, and it was clear on my face that I’d just lost a new born baby. This reminder brought on a fresh set of tears to my face. When Jake enters the room, my eyes had been resting. Naomi had left to go down to the gift shop. “Hey.” He says, his eyes just as sleep deprived and puffy looking as my own.
“Hi.” I say, letting the tears leak from my eyes freely. Jake smiles weakly at me, hugging me and kissing me gently.
Getting out of the car, Jake is fussing over every little move I make. “Jake! Please, stop fussing!” I snap on accident and then I can feel my expression softening. “Sorry…” I apologize, embarrassed.
When we enter the apartment, Cindy and the toddlers are making their selves at home. I crutch over to my bedroom and brush through my hair quickly before I head into Maria’s room to make sure everything is set up for their stay. Oh no, my heart wrenches with grief and it washes all over my expression.
Upon entering the room, I was very unprepared for what I saw. The room was painted a light, neutral yellow. The whole theme of the room had been yellow and lime green, okay colors for both genders because we didn’t know the sex of the…baby. A lump forms in my throat and sadness takes over as well. What have I done to deserve all of this? I slide down the freshly painted walls, sobbing. Thank goodness I’d shut the door.
Jake was worried enough about me. Snuggling onto a teddy bear, I play with the buttons on his cute little trench coat, trying not to think about what was no longer growing inside of me. It wasn’t fair. Everything I’d ever loved left me in this exact room. Maria was murdered and this was her bedroom, and the baby was to stay here after it’s birth.
Taking in the scent of the baby powder that was sitting on the newly bought changing table, I run my fingers across the Oakwood stained crib, peeking into it at all of the comfortable looking blankets. Picking it up, I put my nose into the soft material with my good arm and sob into it, quieting them. Choking on my sobs, I sniffle a few times and sit in the corner, just sitting carefully on the floor.
The television is heard throughout the silence of the room. The boys must be watching some Sesamee Street re-run because I can hear Big-Bird singing the ‘You Are My Sunshine’ song which only makes my crying jag worse. My make-up is probably all smeared and my hair probably all re-knotted, but it doesn’t bother me. I’m all alone.
I thought so until I finally decide to look forward out the window where it’s raining and see Jake’s sad expressed face staring down at me. In the darkened room, I can see the shadow of his face, where’s he’s moving closer in on me. “Allie, please don’t cry anymore. I’ve waited all this time to see those beautiful blue eyes.” He cups my face.
Jake moves closer and kisses my lips, and I try to kiss back with everything I have, but I’m so weak it’s almost near impossible. “I’m sorry, it’s just the baby-” Jake sooths me by putting his finger to my chapped lips and tucks my hair carefully behind my ear, as if I’m so fragile he might break me if he doesn’t be gentle.
God, I love him.
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Haha, Anyways I know this might not be as long as I promised, but i needed to upload for everyone PMing begging. [:
Next upload might even be longer hehe.
Comment, vote, and fan. :D