" 𝙵𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚛𝚞𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜"
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ALLYN POV:
What is love? I remember asking my father or the man I thought was my father this question quite often when I was little.
His answer was that love is different for every person in this world. For him, love is me and Alicent.
"One day you'll meet someone who will turn your world upside down. A person who will see how special you are and will make you feel these butterflies in your stomach. Then you will feel this kind of love I feel towards your mother"
Well, I thought his words are full of bullshit. Especially after his death and after I found out about the contract with The Kings. How can he say he wants me to find love and then give my hand away in an arranged marriage to a man I can never love? Make it make sense.
Turn out I never really knew this person and still I loved him deeply like a real daughter loves her father. I forgive him for everything. I had to do it to make peace with myself.
And now at least I know what he meant with his words. What love truly feels like. He was right for this one.
And I'm happy - carefree, sincere, truly happy.
The world can burn down in ashes, I don't care as long as I have Maddox by my side.
And even though everything in our lives is one freaking mess right now, we still have each other and that's enough. Every time he holds me I can close my eyes and relax, pretending like everything is fine. Because we are together in this and that's all that matters to me.
It's been over 2 weeks since I've been here with Maddox and still no word from my father. It's too good to be true, It feels like calm before storm. I can't shake the bad feeling I have inside me. Like something bad is coming our way.
It's not a secret to anyone that my father despises Maddox. If it was up to Mikael, he would probably have Maddox's head hanging on the wall like a trophy by now. Not just because he's a King, but also because he knows just how important Maddox is to me.
Mikael never said it out loud but I know he knows just how much I care about Maddox and he hated him even more because of that. I'm sure that the wounds Maddox suffered were the price he had to pay because of this. Mikael wants him dead as much as I want him alive.
Because for me, Maddox King is the man I love.
It's ridiculous because If you take me back to the day I saw Maddox for the first time, standing in my house like he owned it and someone told me that this is the man I'm going to fall in love with I was going to laugh straight at his face.
My bodyguard, the brother of the man I was promised to. The most cruel man I have ever met.
But now I can say that my love for Maddox King is the most genuine, sincere, and powerful thing I have ever felt in my entire existence.
But every time I try to say those three words to him, I just can't. Words get stuck in my throat and I can't fucking do it. I fear I will never hear it back from him.
What does a man like Maddox King know about love? He knows about fucking, torturing, killing people but not loving them.
So I pushed that thought away. We are in a good place right now, I don't want to ruin everything and push him away by saying these three words. We are good, I'm good. He cares about me and that's enough.
He even cooked dinner for us yesterday. He did it with his own hands. Yes, it was a simple mac and cheese but he knows it's my favorite and just thinking that a powerful man like Maddox took time off torturing people to google how to make mac and cheese is melting my heart.
I heard a soft knock on the door that brought me back to reality. I didn't know I was smiling until now.
"Come in" I said loud enough for the person on the other side to hear as I sat in front of the mirror, brushing my hair. When the door opened, I turned my head that way and saw one of Maddox's servants walk in and I smiled warmly in response. Her name is Betty and she's a lovely woman in her forties.
''I'm sorry for interrupting, Miss Romano''
"You're not, Betty. Don't worry please " I replied in a soft voice standing up from the chair and giving her my full attention. She met my gaze briefly but quickly lowered it, pulling something out of her pocket and handing it to me.
"As you requested miss"
I looked down at the small box she held out to me in her hand, blinking slowly before I took it with shaking hands.
"You didn't tell anyone about this, right?" I asked her in a soft voice and she quickly shook her head almost as if she was afraid of me.
"No miss, no one saw me when I went to buy it"
I sighed in relief "Thank you, Betty. I appreciate it" I smiled, before hugging her and she froze in place not knowing how to react. ''I owe you''
After a few seconds I pulled back and looked at her with a smile, but she just nodded. She was too scared and just like everyone else's who works for Maddox.
I set free Betty and as soon as she left the room and I was alone, I turned my attention to the white box in my hand.
I can feel my hand shaking, gripping the box, my whole body feels warm right now. I turned it around seeing "pregnancy test" written on it and my saliva stuck in my throat.
Even more so because Maddox doesn't know about it. He doesn't know that I've already vomited several times for no reason or that my body is changing and I can feel it.
Maybe it's all paranoia, maybe it's just in my head, but I had to be sure. That's why I asked Betty to buy a pregnancy test and bring it to me when I knew Maddox wouldn't be in the house.
It feels like I'm walking walked around the room for 10 minutes with the test in my hand thinking about everything until I finally got the strength to do it. Hundreds of thoughts went through my head while I was doing it and as soon as I finished I just left it in the bathroom and quickly got out of it as if I just saw a ghost. My heart was beating so fast against my chest, it might as well explode.
I sat on the bed, hands in my lap and my heart down in my feet with thousands of scenarios playing out in my head.
What if it's positive? What do I do then? How do I tell Maddox?
We have never talked about this. Hell, we've been together for less than 2 weeks, how am I supposed to break the news to him that he's going to be a father? If he leaves me? Worse, if he makes me get rid of it or kill us both?
Minutes passed, and my thoughts were pressing my head so hard it felt like it might explode.
I knew the time was up, because I stared at the wall for the last 20 minutes, shaking like a psychopath. I have to do this. Don't be a pussy, Allyn.
I gathered strength and with shaking legs I walked to the bathroom, picking up the test pick up the test with my heart beating in my ears like crazy.
Positive.
I stared at it like an idiot, without blinking or moving. My heart dropped and I felt like I was close to fainting.
I dropped down to the ground with the test in my hand, completely shocked.
I'm pregnant. I'm carrying Maddox King's child.
When the evening came It felt colder than usual. The sky was dark, getting ready for a big storm.
And yet it won't be half as strong as the storm that rages inside me.
The last few hours were hard. Horrible even.
I gathered more strength once I saw Maddox walk through the front door, slamming it shut. I didn't even realize I was sitting there waiting for him until now.
When he looked up and his eyes met mine, I didn't see that warm spark or his beautiful smile as usual, but darkness and rage intertwined in his eyes. My body tensed.
I didn't even realize I was holding my stomach like an idiot with one hand, staring at him. What the fuck is wrong with me? Was I really going to tell him? Do I want to tell him?
No, but he has every right to know, and even with the risk of him hating me after this conversation, I have to say it out loud.
"Maddox, can we talk?" my voice was soft as a whisper, but Maddox passed through me like a storm cloud, not giving me a second glance.
"Not now, Allyn" he was cold, distant, angry. I can feel it in his voice. I swallowed hard.
''It's important'' I said, walking behind him with big steps so I could catch up with him, but he didn't stop even for a second. I could see his back, even through the suit I could tell he was tense, breathing heavily.
''It can wait''
"No, it can't wait" I called out loud, grabbing his arm to make him turn and look at me and once I got his cold gaze on me I almost regretted it. His eyes as dark as death locked on me, his jaw tightening "We need to talk"
His eyes pierced me, looking down at my face. "Your father is holding my sister captive. He sent me a nice little video of him fucking torturing her. He wants to meet me, otherwise, Lydia will die.''
My face dropped and reality slapped me across the face.
"So, I'm fucking sorry Allyn but I don't have time for pointless conversation right now" he said in a low voice, removing his hand from my grip "I have to save my sister"
'I am coming with you''
"What?" He said fast "No! It's not safe, he's a fucking monster, Allyn!"
"You're talking about my father Maddox, I know that." I replied almost immediately and he stayed silent "I also know I'm his only weakness and your best chance to save Lydia" I hissed at him and he clenched his jaw, knowing I was right.
I wished I wasn't right. I wish I could go back to those carefree nights spent with Maddox, laughing in our bed after we made love lost in our own little world.
But that's not us and it will never be. We are not destined for this.
There is no place for happiness in the world we choose to live in.
Not while we are still breathing.