Anastasia's POV
These past few months I have had the most exhilarating moments in my life. Ekaterina and I have had multiple successful missions, and I am on a high from all of them. It had been a few since I last felt this amount of power and control, and to be honest, it's quite thrilling. I've always loved to feel in control; the fear that people feel when they see my eyes... it's just so addictive. I love it.
Ina and I are just at the top of the world and no one can bring us down. I adore working with Ina, she's just extraordinary. She knows me, she knows who I am, and I'm not scared of being judged. She understands me and loves me unconditionally. Honestly, I couldn't have asked for a better friend. We are closer than ever and I just love her so fucking much. She's got my back, you know? She's got mine and I've got hers.
I... I've got hers... just like I used to have Scarlett's. It's been months and I still find myself wondering about my Scarlett, well, she's not my Scarlett anymore. I made sure of that. I would be lying if I said I didn't regret my words that night. I miss her, every day. I really do. But at least I know she's safe. I still have some of my men looking after her, and they'll continue to look after until the day I die. I messed up and I can't go back in time so I'll have to conform with just knowing she's safe. I've thought about calling her... about a month after I left the States I had to change phone numbers for security reasons, and I never gave her my new number however, I have hers. After starting our search for those involved with the Institute, I thought it would be safer if I didn't contact her. I was too scared that if I did, someone would find her and would hurt her or Rose. I couldn't let that happen so I just disappeared from her life faster than I had entered it. It was hard, extremely hard, but it had to be done. At the end, she was better off without me. I hurt her badly even though I never meant to. I never deserved her. I still don't. How could I? How could a monster like me deserve her? The worst part is that I enjoy being a monster. That's why Ekaterina is the only person that will ever truly love me. She understands what being a monster is like, we were raised to be nothing more than that.
Next week, it's Scar's birthday. I've been thinking about it a lot and even though we are over, I still care for her a lot. I want to send her something, a little gift. I know I shouldn't but it can't hurt, can it? I just... I know she must be having a hard time, Ekaterina told me she had decided to sue Colin for domestic abuse a few months ago and soon, it'll be over. I know she must be nervous and even anxious. Probably even scared, but I will make sure she's safe. Colin will never lay a finger on her again. No, I won't hurt him, for now... but my men will make sure he doesn't get anywhere near her just like they have these past months. Scarlett doesn't know they're following her but I think it's better that way.
— 3 days later —
Third Person's POV
Both Anastasia and Ekaterina were sitting down on the living room area in a hotel room in Bulgaria. They had finished a mission the day prior and were "taking the day off". The model kept staring at her phone, looking at the phone menu, Scarlett's name on the screen. Ekaterina was finishing some work she had back at her firm but couldn't entirely focus due to a clearly upset Anastasia; closing her laptop abruptly and with a what-is-it expression, the lawyer sighed and spoke "Если ты продолжишь пялиться на нее, она отрастит лицо и начнет плакать. (If you keep staring at it like that it'll grow a face and start crying)". "Заткнись. (Shut up)" Anastasia said rolling her eyes and putting her phone face down on the table. Giving a stern look at the model, the lawyer waited for her friend to blurt everything out. "У неё скоро день рождения, и я знаю, что мы не в расчете, и я последний человек, которого она хотела бы услышать, но я скучаю по ней. (It's her birthday soon and I- I know we didn't end up in good terms and I'm the last person she would want to hear from but I miss her)" Tia externalised what was on her mind. Ina, now fully focused on the conversation, tried to read her friend's mind "Каков твой план? Ты хочешь позвонить ей? Никогда не знаешь, она может ответить. (What's your plan? You want to call her? You never know, she might reply)". "Нет, я не могу ей позвонить, это было бы слишком рискованно. (No, I can't call her, that would be too risky)" Tia said while shaking her head. "Любимая, мы оба знаем, что ты можешь позвонить ей. У нас есть безопасные способы связаться с ней. Если ты не чувствуешь себя готовой, это нормально, но если ты хочешь, ты можешь. (Love, you and I both know you can call her. We have secure ways to contact her. If you don't feel ready, that's okay, but if you wanted to, you could)" Ina responded, not allowing her friend to make up excuses. It's okay to not be ready. Ekaterina understood and saw how much it affected Tia to leave Scarlett. It doesn't matter who ended or not the relationship, it didn't make it less painful for the model, and in the middle of all of that she had neglected her friendship with Elizabeth. "Я не могу позвонить ей... я не заслуживаю ее, ей лучше без меня. Посмотри на нас, мы только что убили З человека вчера! Я просто... Я просто хочу, чтобы она знала, как мне жаль, за всю боль, которую я причинил. (I can't call her... I don't deserve her, she's better off without me. I mean look at us, we just killed 3 men yesterday! I just... I just want her to know how sorry I am, for all the pain I inflicted)" was the model's reply.
Ina hated seeing her friend like that. Anastasia was never the type to take the blame for things she didn't cause but it was truly surprising to the lawyer how much her friend blamed herself for something she believed it wasn't even her fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. Orlova understood everyone and sympathize with the 3 women but mostly, of course, with her dear Anastasia. The girl had never experienced love from outside the bubble that was their relationship and seeing how hard and confusing it was on her made the lawyer want to protect her friend even more. Ekaterina knew Anastasia didn't mean to fuck up her relationship with Scarlett, she also understood why Scarlett felt the way she did, it's normal with her past relationships and also it's normal to not be happy under those circumstances, and lastly, Ina understood Elizabeth because she, herself, had found herself falling in love with Anastasia, even though this one wasn't aware of why in the first place. It's not hard to fall for her, Ekaterina thought. She could see herself falling over and over again for the model but had decided that this one needed someone to support her and being her lover wasn't going to make the cut. It was too complicated and she couldn't be there for Anastasia the way she needed it as a lover so Ekaterina settled, she settled to just being a friend.
"Тогда... отправь ей что-нибудь, подарок. Что-то, что говорит, что я сожалею, и мне все еще не все равно. (Then... send her something, a present. Something that says I'm sorry and I still care)" Ina proposed and so that's what Anastasia did. That same day, she chose something simple but meaningful, an apology in the form of a present. It didn't mean she thought she would be forgiven but it was Tia's way to say I'm owning up to my mistake, whatever that is.
By the next morning, a golden necklace with a Scarlett gem, a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a small handwritten note saying,
was sent to the actress.
A few days had passed and the lawyer and model had gone back to their regular agenda and the missions were nonstop. Anastasia stayed in touch with Elizabeth but their relationship wasn't the same due to the model's effort to put some distance in between. Tia was scared for Elizabeth's safety as well but also the more she killed, the more she enjoyed and the less she felt worthy of love.
It had been almost 7 months now since our Anastasia had left the States and she didn't plan to go anytime soon but maybe one day she'll go back. Maybe one day she'll go and see her ex-lover again.
Scarlett's POV
It's been 4 months since the last time I heard of Anastasia. It's been the worse months of my life and I hate to admit it. I'm not the type of person to fall depress or crumble when a relationship is over, yes, I get sad and I mourn the end of that relationship but I've always been always to get back up. Unfortunately, with Anastasia, it's different. I just feel miserable all the time... I try my best to be happy for my daughter and I put up a fake smile and positive attitude around her but I'm not. I miss her so fucking much. She was... I thought she was it for me, I- I love her... but it's too late now. I fucked up, badly.
The weeks after Anastasia vanished, I fell apart. I couldn't work, I never had an appetite, and I couldn't stop crying; I was so pissed at Liz for doing what she did but mostly, I was pissed at myself for feeling that way. Robert came to me at some point, seeing my very deteriorated state, and tried to explained. Apparently he knew what had happened and even knew that they had planned to talk to me that day. I was mad at first but after hearing what he told me that day I just felt such pain. I never gave her the chance to explain, I- she was so respectful, so caring, and she did the little things, you know? For example, she always made sure to bring me food when I would be working long hours because she wanted to make sure I ate, she would know my favorite order at the cafe, my favorite food, the way I like things done, she was perfect and I... I was so insecure and I let that get it the way of our relationship.
The cherry on the cake happened the day of my birthday, as if I didn't miss her enough, I received a package. It was a beautiful bouquet of flowers that smelled amazing, a stunning necklace with a scarlett gem and a small hand written note. I didn't know who it could be from at first but after seeing the necklace, I had a feeling, a feeling that would be confirm by the note.
That day, I had the courage to do something I hadn't dare to since she left. I called her but to my surprise, her phone number had been changed. God knows how long it's been since she changed it but I just felt miserable after that, knowing she hadn't told me and knowing that I probably wouldn't be able to call her again unless... maybe Elizabeth has her number. In all honesty, talking to her was the last thing I want to do but I needed to call Tia. As the days went by, little by little I started talking to Liz. She was surprised at first but she seemed happy about it. Robert helped out, trying to remind me that feeling angry won't make things better, for me, for my daughter or for anyone. Things were never the same with Elizabeth, we talked more and were civilized with each other but I couldn't have the friendship I had with her, there was still a part of me that blamed her for what happened. After a few of having a decent relationship with Elizabeth, I asked for Tia's number but unfortunately, she said "I have it and you can try but she hasn't spoken to me in a while". So I thought best to not get it... I couldn't continue like that.
It was December, about to be Christmas and a couple of friends came to my home to celebrate, including Liz, Robert and Evans. I always dreamed of spending Christmas with Tia, she used to talk about it with excitement. She explained how she used to hate the holiday but Ekaterina made her love it, and how she would love for us to spend it with them. That, of course, wouldn't be the case. Christmas passed and even though I felt sad, I had a good time with my friends and kid. I hadn't felt that happy in a while and it gave me some hope. Hope that maybe one day I would get over her, that some day she would just be a part of my memories. It's been 7 months now since she left, and I'm finally moving on... maybe there is hope after all.
Third Person's POV
Scarlett couldn't help but to feel some guilt... it was normal, every person who was there that day felt guilty for something, but Scarlett was finally beginning to see the end in a long dark tunnel. I honestly feel bad for the poor thing... if she only knew that all those hopeful feelings would soon vanish. Our two ex-spies would make a reappearance soon enough, one that no one could ever forget.