Lucas stood rigidly outside the solar door. The mere sight of it brought upon him an overwhelming sense of dread and unease. Beyond that threshold was the man he had spent many a night intertwined with in the throes of passion. Soft sheets and warm candle lit nights were now fading into distant memories, with the only real proof of their existence resting quietly in his womb, hidden away by sheer will and loosely draped fabric.
He couldn't tell for certain how much time had passed, but, however long it was, appeared to be slightly outside the realm of socially acceptable, judging from the sideways glances the guards down the hall would periodically pass his way. Deciding the awkwardness culminating on this side of the door was likely to be far worse than whatever waited for him on the other side of it, he gave the door a couple quick, hesitant, knocks.
After a few heart pounding moments, the door furiously swung open, an angered Vin rapidly appearing from behind it.
"I said to leave me-" Vin stopped short, his eyes widening, and jaw falling agape, as he was met with the golden gaze of a man he feared he'd lost. A man he knew he'd lost. "Lucas?" His voice was hardly more than a whisper.
Vin's face was one Lucas could hardly recognize at first glance. The crimson eyes that had once glowed bright with passion had now dimmed, following suit of the darkened circles lining them. His eyelids appeared red and puffy, as though he'd been crying, though all evidence of tears had long since perished. Lucas could feel the exhaustion flowing off of him in waves, and for the first time, he saw just how crushed beneath the crown's weight his former lover had become.
"I have an urgent matter to discuss, your majesty." Lucas forced a small bow, attempting to maintain formalities, despite every fiber of his being screaming at him to act otherwise.
Vin winced instinctively, before straightening up, and waving the knight into the room.
"Of course." The king cleared his throat. "What is it?"
"Sir Remus and I have just returned from Widow's Wild. Unfortunately, we were unable to locate the missing ghouls." Lucas held his voice steady, doing his best to disregard the nerves threatening to push through it.
"As expected." Vin let out a melancholic sigh.
"There is something else..." Lucas started, taking a deep breath, as Vin raised an inquisitive brow. "On our return through Riverbend, we caught sight of Honterran soldiers entering one of the cottages."
Vin's brow furrowed, his eyes furiously darting with confusion.
"Honterran soldiers? Are you certain?" He asked, pleading for the slightest air of uncertainty in Lucas's testimony.
"I am." The knight confirmed.
Vin closed his eyes, attempting to calm himself, despite his clenched jaw and tensed body betraying him. Drawing a deep breath, he directed Lucas to continue.
"Upon interrogation, the farmer divulged to us that Honterran soldiers had been frequenting the area for the past several months, making deals with the curse-borns there."
"What kind of deals?" Vin pressed with a low growl.
"Your majesty," Lucas continued, articulating his phrasing carefully, "they're making deals to... well, what I imagine to be a sort of... escalation to the war in Honterra."
Vin paused, allowing the knight's words to soak into his mind for a moment before, reluctantly, urging the continuance of the deeply unsettling conversation.
"How exactly?" Vin asked, sternly, certain that he did not want to know the answer, but needing it nonetheless.
"Curse-borns... are being contracted to kill Honterran humans." Lucas swallowed hard, nervously gnawing at his bottom lip.
At first, it was quiet. Like the calm before a storm. That brief moment of hope that made you feel like, perhaps, the damage wouldn't be too severe. And then, the young knight watched as Vin's heart fell, and every emotion a person could possibly feel began battling within him for dominance. He was furious, and devastated, and homicidal. His body trembled with rage, even though his mind was trying desperately to quell it. Hunching over his chair, his long fingernails unconsciously dug into the leather backing, leaving in it deep indents and scratches. His jaw was clenched so hard, Lucas feared his teeth might crack.
"Your highness-" Lucas began, but was abruptly interrupted by the aforementioned chair being slung across the room, slamming into the wall hard enough to break off one of its legs.
Panting heavily, Vin ran a hand through his disheveled hair, his face twisted into a vicious scowl. Lucas glanced between the king and the, now broken, wooden chair. Never in his life had he ever recalled seeing Vin act in such an aggressive way, and it was then that he realized just how much had changed in these few, short, months. Vin wasn't the same person he had been when they parted ways, and Lucas wondered if he too had changed in equal measure. But it was the next thought that crossed his mind that made his body shudder. If Vin knew the truth, would he still hold enough compassion in his heart to not resent him for it?
"My apologies." Vin straightened his shirt, refusing to make eye contact, afraid of the expression he might be met with if he did.
They stood silently for a few moments, waiting for the air around them to lighten, before eventually accepting that it wasn't going to.
"How many have accepted the deal?" Vin asked, returning to his formal tone.
"I don't know, for certain." Lucas replied, catching a bitter glare from the king. "Your highness, it would be impossible to know with any amount of accuracy." He insisted. "However, given the time period for which these events have been allowed to occur... I would imagine a fair amount."
"Let me guess, they were offered protection in exchange for their services." Vin spat, sharply.
Lucas nodded and Vin let out a long, defeated sigh.
"The ghouls that went missing, do you think they were involved in one of these deals?"
"I don't believe so." Lucas answered, confidently. "Both the woman and her son went missing, and the child's father was human, so I believe their abduction was unrelated."
"Are you stating, formally, that they were abducted by Honterrans?" Vin pried for confirmation.
"There was no evidence to the contrary." Lucas stated, firmly. "I cannot make that statement officially, but, unofficially, I believe it to be the only conclusion of merit."
"So his attacks are based solely on his whims." Vin muttered to himself.
"If I may speculate, my king, I suspect that King Wilfred may have ulterior motives in waging this war. I believe the eradication of curse-borns may only be part of what he wants."
Vin crossed his arms tightly, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger.
"He wants the land." Vin concluded, gaining a brief nod of agreement from Lucas. "So, of course he'd start with Valkevilla. We have an abundance of resources, plenty of established trade relationships, and the lowest level of defense of any of his neighboring countries." He dragged his hand down his face. "If he takes Valkevilla..."
"Nothing will stop him from taking the others." Lucas finished, the gravity of the situation growing by the minute. "And, I imagine the war would seem much easier to win if his citizens had a more personal investment in his cause."
"It would certainly give his sentiments a more solid foundation." Vin shuffled over towards the table, where the map had rested, unmoved, since the war began. Leaning over it on his palms, his head hung low, he studied the map. "We'll send more men to secure the border, and I'll send word to Elvenwood about our suspicions."
"Very well-"
All of a sudden, Lucas was overcome by a wave of lightheadedness, and found himself unable to finish his sentence. Abruptly, he gripped at the table to steady himself as his head began to spin.
"Lucas?" Vin's attention immediately snapped towards the sandy-blonde, his voice thick with concern.
"I'm fine." Lucas grunted through his brewing nausea. "It'll pass." His voice wavered as he focused on keeping the floor still, instead, resigning himself to squeezing his eyes shut and avoiding the matter entirely.
"Lucas, what's wrong?" Vin's voice was becoming more panicked as he noticed that, whatever it was, wasn't passing.
"I'm fine-" The dizziness finally taking its toll, Lucas began to wobble, his knees threatening to buckle beneath him.
"Lucas!" Vin rushed to the knight's side, quickly wrapping an arm around him to hold him steady.
Lucas did everything in his power to right himself, even praying to the gods to regain his bearings, at least long enough to escape the solar, but it seemed his prayers were going to go unanswered. He could feel Vin's warm body pressed against his own, trembling with nerves. Slowly, the king guided him towards the remaining leather chair, and carefully lowered him into it.
"I'll send for Alistair-" Vin stepped towards the door, but found his wrist in the surprisingly tight grip of the ill man, stopping him short.
"Don't." Lucas huffed with a wince as pain pierced through his skull.
"Nonsense!" Vin furiously ripped his hand away. "You're clearly unwell!"
"Please." Lucas pleaded, the pain subsiding for the moment.
"Enough!" Vin returned, sharply, once again making his way towards the door.
But as the young king turned away, Lucas, barely clinging to consciousness, lunged forward, gripping the man's arm with all the strength he could muster.
"Vin!"
Whipping around, Vin's eyes were met with a hazy, half-lidded, golden stare. Fresh beads of dewy sweat lined Lucas's brow and his face had gone pale. His chest heaved as he panted. Then, his grip loosened, and his body slumped forward.
"Lucas!" Vin exclaimed, sliding beneath the muscular man, and propping him back up in the chair. He gripped Lucas's shoulders tightly to hold him still, anxiously studying his face, brows upturned with worry.
The man's head bobbed slightly, and Vin moved a shaky hand to gently caress his pale cheek.
"Why won't you let me help you?" He hissed through clenched teeth.
Lucas lifted his gaze. Even amidst the world's blurred focus, he could see Vin's crimson eyes piercing into his own. His chin quivered against his will, and a single tear escaped, trickling down his cheek, brushing along Vin's slender fingers, and as it did, Vin's expression softened.
"I'm... sorry..." Lucas trailed off as a blackened haze slowly crept into his vision and consumed him.
Lucas awoke to the comfortable warmth of soft linen sheets, and the scent of fresh lavender and cedar wood. The golden glow of early morning sun danced through the window, illuminating the all too familiar room.
The ghost of a headache still lingered, and his stomach felt dreadfully uneasy. Shifting to prop himself up, he glanced to his side, finding an overly exhausted, and seemingly very unamused, Vin sitting slouched in the chair beside the bed. Sunlight haloed around him, casting his face in a dully lit shadow.
Before Lucas had a chance to speak, Vin produced a glass drinking vessel, filled with a thick, red liquid. Extending his arm towards him, he nodded, beckoning Lucas to take it. Hesitantly, he accepted the cup, blankly staring at it as he held it in his lap.
"Drink." Vin instructed, flatly.
Giving the king a sideward glance, he swallowed hard, before returning his gaze to the cup. His brows furrowed as he nervously bit at his lip. He had never drank blood before. At least, not that he could recall, and certainly not in human form.
Apprehensively, Lucas lifted the glass to his lips, and took a small sip. It was thicker than he'd expected, and clung to his tongue with a somewhat sweet, iron flavor. He imagined it would be similar in taste to licking melted sugar off of an old sword. It's not that he hated it. He found it rather interesting on its own. However, had he been given the choice between a juicy, rare steak and a bowl of blood soup, the decision wouldn't require much deliberation.
"You'll get used to it." Vin assured, noticing Lucas's slightly confused and mildly disgusted expression.
Lucas gave the dark-haired man a confused glance. Vin's cheek rested against his fingers, his eyes heavy, with dark circles that could rival a moonless night. It was becoming increasingly more obvious to Lucas that he hadn't slept.
The room grew heavier, and a pit began to form in Lucas's stomach. Something about the way Vin looked at him put him on edge, and he wasn't quite sure what to make of it. Growing uneasy, he returned his attention to the glass, giving it a light twirl, watching the blood swirl around the edges.
"You weren't going to tell me, were you?" Vin interrupted the silence, his voice low, with a broken weight.
Lucas snapped his gaze back to Vin's, his heart skipping a beat, and as he stared into those crimson eyes, he realized what about them had left him so unsoothed. The light was gone, and sadness had taken its place.
"W-what are you-"
"Lucas." Vin stopped the knight short before he could continue further into his faltering bluff. "I know."
The haze of the night before came into clearer focus. Not entirely, but he certainly remembered delivering the report, coming down with a bout of illness and then... nothing. He gulped.
"Why didn't you just tell me?"
Lucas's eyes flickered as tears threatened to well, his chin starting to quiver. There it was. The question he'd dreaded answering the most since this all began, finally here to taunt him.
"How could I?" Lucas whispered shakily. The drinking vessel shook as his hands trembled, sending small ripples over the blood's surface. His heart pounded in his ears, and everything fell deathly quiet. Fresh sobs pressed into Lucas's throat, and he firmly clamped his jaw shut to suppress them.
Vin just stared. His heart had been emptied so many times, there was hardly anything left in it to fight with. The entirety of his being had been cracked apart, over, and over, and over again. But this was different. This was a lie. A betrayal he had been sold by the one person in this world he trusted most. He'd spent the entire night trying to understand why Lucas had done it. Why he would ever wish to keep their child a secret from him. And as he had watched the loosely draped sheets rise and fall with Lucas's breath as he slept, he felt himself drifting further and further away from him.
Slowly, Lucas broke his gaze, unwilling to let the king see his tears fall. In his heart, the weight of this moment felt heavier than he'd ever imagined possible. Before, it was simply a concept that he had fooled himself into believing would never come to pass. But, now that he sat firmly in the thick of it, mere feet away from the father of his child, he'd come to the realization that all of the justifications he'd made for keeping the baby a secret were only masks, hiding a much more devastating truth. That at his deepest depth, he was simply afraid.
"I'm nobody... I come from nowhere." Lucas finally spoke, his voice timid. "You can't tell me you don't understand." His breath hitched.
"I don't." Vin insisted, unconsciously leaning towards the bed.
"You're a king!" Lucas snapped his misty eyes back towards Vin's, fresh tear tracks glistening against his flushed cheeks.
Vin jolted slightly.
"I'd ruin everything." Lucas's voice wavered, cracking through the tears, as he hunched over, pressing his face into his palm.
Vin sat quietly for a moment, watching the young knight sob, his heart sinking into his stomach. After all this time, Lucas still saw himself as the commoner that walked through the castle gates with a stolen copper clutched in his fist. A man of no nobility, with nothing of value to his name. A man unworthy of holding a king.
"It was just..." Lucas hiccupped, "easier if you didn't know." He drew a choppy breath, his low voice descending further into a broken whisper. "I can't protect you now."
Pushing himself up from his chair, body unexpectedly stiff from his prolonged residency in it, Vin shuffled around the bed, reaching over, and gently removing the nearly tipped glass from Lucas's trembling grip. He placed the vessel on the wooden side table, next to the fresh bouquet of lavender flowers, then turned towards the distressed man sobbing in his bed.
"Is that all you see yourself as? My protector?"
Lucas drew a sharp breath, attempting to calm himself, but failing miserably. His eyes remained fixed on his lap, and he dared not move them. Then, he felt the bed dip to his side, as Vin sat down beside him.
"Lucas..." Vin spoke calmly, twiddling his fingers. "I don't... I didn't mean to-" He let out a frustrated sigh as the words kept getting caught in his throat. "I never meant to make you feel that way." He turned to face Lucas. "That was never how I saw you."
The knight folded his arms across his body, squeezing them tightly, still refusing to look up.
"If I can't protect you," his voice low and crackled, "then, what good am I?"
Slender fingers softly caressed Lucas's cheek. Gently, Vin pulled the sandy-blonde's golden gaze to meet his own. His eyes were red and swollen, and his face had been thoroughly dampened with tears. Guilt swirled in Vin's stomach, heightening with each passing moment. He had spent an entire, sleepless, night, wondering what he might say when Lucas finally awoke. How severely he'd tell him off for what he had done, because he so desperately wanted Lucas to feel the same hurt that he had. But now, watching the tears spill from his golden eyes, he found himself wanting none of those things.
"You're plenty good." Vin whispered as his own eyes began to mist over. "You will never need to prove yourself to me." He smiled kindly, his voice quivering slightly at the end. "Perhaps... it's my turn to protect you."
Lucas swallowed hard, his body jerking from a shaky inhale, as Vin wiped a few tears away with his thumb.
"If nothing else, can you at least allow me to do that?"
Biting his lip, Lucas nodded, and Vin released a slow breath, pressing his forehead against Lucas's. Slowly, he slid his hand down, reaching for Lucas's, and gripping it tightly. There they sat, together, finally in the grace of peace. Then, Lucas pulled away to look Vin in the eyes.
"There is something... I wish to say," Lucas spoke softly, and slightly unsure, "but I know I shouldn't."
"What is it?" Vin brushed away a stray strand of blonde hair from the lycan's face.
"I still..." Lucas pressed his lips together for a brief moment, studying the other man's sharp features, his lightly tanned skin glowing in the rays of the morning sun, and he felt himself grow overwhelmed by the beauty before him. Seeing him now made him realize just how little his memories had done him justice. Even with the dark circles and untamed hair, he was still the most beautiful creature Lucas had ever seen. "I love you."
Vin's eyes widened, his lips parting slightly with surprise, as his heart skipped a beat. Still, after all this time, after everything that had happened, Lucas had never stopped loving him. And for the second time, those three words rang in his ears, but this time, he had no intention of standing idly by while he watched them fade away.
"I know I'm forbidden to-"
In a wave of passionate impulse, Vin sprang forward, wrapping his arms tightly around Lucas's neck, a deep kiss pushing the words back into the pregnant man's throat. Never in their lives had either of them tasted anything so sweet. Cautiously, Lucas moved his hand around Vin, before gripping him tightly and pulling him close, until their bodies were flush against each other. Tongues delicately danced around sharpened teeth, the sweet taste of blood still lingering on Lucas's lips.
Catching his breath, Vin pulled away slightly, their noses still brushed up against each other's. His crimson eyes shimmered with new light, and finally, he felt at home.
"I love you, too. I always have."
Lucas nearly choked as a smile danced on the corner of his lips. His heart pounded heavily, and butterflies fluttered in his stomach. For so many years, he had longed to hear those words, even though he knew he could never have them. Because he was a nobody, from nowhere, who dared to love a prince. Who dared to love a king.
His fingertips traced over Vin's cheek, and he placed another, gentle kiss upon his lips, slowly leaning back, guiding Vin down onto the bed with him.
"You taste like blood." Vin whispered breathily with a smile, as he wrapped his arm around Lucas, snuggling into the muscular man's chest.
"Oh?" Lucas raised a brow. "Should I drink more, then?" He asked, playfully through a mischievous grin.
"Yes." Vin returned. "But, not for me." Suddenly, his tone became more serious, and after a brief pause, he continued. "Vampires need blood to survive, you know. If you don't feed them properly," lightly, his hand slid over Lucas's chest, down towards the protruding bump of his belly, "the baby will take what it needs from you until you have nothing left to give." His fingers delicately traced circles around the moderately sized swell. "That's why you felt so ill, and fainted." He let out a long sigh. "Had you just told me-"
"I know." Lucas interjected. "I'm sorry." He gently rubbed Vin's back with his thumb. "I should have, I know that. I just... couldn't." His voice faltered, and he pressed his lips together tightly to prevent more words from escaping until he had thoroughly collected himself. "I thought I'd be exiled. Or worse." He drew a shaky breath, fresh tears, once again, clouding his vision. "I was afraid you'd hate me." His voice barely more than a whisper.
Propping himself up on his elbow, Vin gazed into Lucas's tear filled eyes, gently wrapping his fingers around the side of his neck, a slender thumb tracing over his jaw.
"There is nothing in this world that would make me hate you. Especially not this." He watched Lucas's golden eyes flicker as he fought against his quivering chin. "You have given me a gift, Lucas." He gave him a reassuring smile. "And I will treasure it for as long as I live."
"Don't make me cry again, you sentimental prick." Lucas let out a relieved laugh, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.
"You were already crying before I said anything." Vin giggled, pressing a kiss onto Lucas's soft lips, then nuzzling back down against his chest.
They laid together quietly for a short while, peacefully embraced in each other's warmth. The rise and fall of Lucas's chest was nearly enough to lull Vin to sleep, and with the gradually increasing weights tugging at his lids, he feared it very well would.
"When you fainted... I was so worried about you that I didn't even notice." Vin spoke softly, his hand once again drifting towards the bump, caressing it gently. "It seems so obvious, now." His fingers lightly danced over it. "It's not exactly small, is it?"
"I suppose it isn't." Lucas agreed with a sigh.
With a hint of curiosity, Vin cautiously tugged at Lucas's shirt, sliding it up to expose his bare belly. Where rippling abs had once been, was now a firmly rounded swell. He pressed his palm against it, suddenly overcome with emotion.
"They're right there." Vin whispered.
Lucas smiled softly, moving his hand down, resting it over his slightly rounded belly, and interlacing his fingers with Vin's. Beneath their palms, growing safely within his womb, was their child. The one piece of indisputable evidence that proved they had once loved each other, and that they always would love each other. He held everything he had ever wished to hold in that one hand, and he never wanted to let it go, lest it all be a dream that would vanish the moment he did.
"Can you feel them?" Vin asked, interrupting Lucas's thoughts.
"Not really." He answered with a hint of melancholy. "There are times when I think I can, but they're such... tiny little flutters that I can't help but feel like it's all in my head."
"You've always been rather observant, so if you thought you did, you most likely have."
It was such a pleasant thought, being able to feel his baby stirring, and as much as he wanted to believe it was true, his mind would always stop him, telling him it was anything else. But, soon enough, their little bun wouldn't be so little, and his mind would no longer be able to play such cruel pranks on him.
"Lucas," Vin started, his tone growing somber, "there's something you need to know."
"What is it?"
"As per the agreement with Elvenwood, I..." The words clung to Vin's throat. He desperately did not want to say what he needed to say, but he had no choice. Gathering his nerves, he pushed himself to continue. "The agreement requires-"
"An heir of elven blood." Lucas finished.
Vin shifted his gaze to meet Lucas's, his brows slightly creased with apprehension. But, as he saw his love's face remain calm and unchanged, his tension lightened.
"I know." Lucas comfortingly stroked Vin's back with his thumb. "And, even if I didn't, I would have assumed as much."
"Carmilla's pregnant." Vin forced out, before he had a chance to lose his nerve. He had expected some sort of reaction. At the very least, for Lucas to appear even the tiniest bit upset. But he didn't, and it left Vin uncomfortably confused. "Are you not upset?"
"It's not my place to be upset."
"But, shouldn't it be?"
Lucas gave a small, reassuring smile, and shook his head.
"We don't exactly live normal lives, and this isn't some affair with a woman across the way." He raised his brows and cocked his head, with a bit of an unserious frown. "If anything, metaphorically speaking, I would be the woman across the way."
Vin rolled his eyes, fighting a grin, as he settled back down, nuzzling into Lucas's warm chest.
"I wish we lived normal lives." He sighed.
"It has its merits." Lucas agreed. "But having lived one once, I don't think I would exchange the life I have now for it."
"Easy for you to say." Vin groaned. "You're not the one with two children to raise with only mere months between them."
"And to think, all those times we trained together, I never would've guessed you were such an excellent shot."
Vin whipped his chin up to deliver a joking glare towards the pregnant lycan, who himself was displaying a playful grin. After a moment, Vin buried his flushed face in Lucas's chest, attempting to muffle his laughter. Lucas pulled him close, leaning forward to brush a kiss atop the vampire's head.
"I'll be right there with you, every step of the way. And anything you need of me, I will gladly do."
"Thank you, Lucas."
The knight smiled softly, but Vin didn't see, as he had already drifted off to sleep.