*warning: sa and trauma
30th September 2010
Natasha decided to take three weeks off—well—Fury ordered after the report from the one and only Irmina König.
Speaking of her, she is currently asleep with Natasha's arms wrapped tightly around her. Whenever this particular Redhead is involved with her sleep or rest, it's always the best she has had. As the sun shone onto their bodies, Natasha slowly woke up as Irmina nuzzled deeper into her soft and pillowy breasts.
She reached out for Irmina's phone, really wanting to shut the incoming alarm up, to not wake up the blonde sleeping soundly on her chest. Irmina had forgotten that she had to be on base at 6 in the morning, as per usual.
It's 0600.
Natasha did not shut off the alarm in time.
Irmina jolted up and knew she was late. She only sets one to know she has to start her day because she will wake up by herself without the help of an alarm.
"Verd—" Irmina fell off the bed as she scrambled to her bathroom. Natasha chuckled softly as she all the muffled cussing and scolding by the German before helping to get her uniform. "I'm gonna marry you if you continue to do this."
"Ask me out first."
"I won't keep you waiting baby."
Natasha scoffed in response before her breath was taken away while Irmina undressed and got dressed in front of her. Irmina muttered something about getting crashed so she could get a pass but forgot that this would be the first time that she was late, not counting S.H.I.E.L.D. because she couldn't be bothered with that organization.
The older woman ran out of the room before coming back in and handing Natasha her card then running out again.
"Use it to your heart's desire!"
Natasha followed her out, with the card she wanted to return, but she found Irmina jumping out of the window. Irmina looked back up, waving with a smile before putting on her helmet.
Romanov got worried about how fast she was going but Irmina was in tip-top shape so there wasn't a need to worry.
Irmina groaned after being stopped at an intersection and relaxed a little, tapping her fingers on the fuel tank as she watched the traffic lights. She was so close to base at this point, usually takes 30 minutes but with how fast she was, she took 15 minutes to where she was.
Two minutes more, she will be at base but nope.
Someone should not be allowed to drive.
The woman lay on the road and no one bothered to check up on her as they did with the driver. She was the one being crashed into not the other way round.
"What the fuck are you doing?" A man shouted at her while she was still on the ground. A couple of military cops with normal cops that were nearby ran towards them. With a loud groan, Irmina removed her helmet.
"Generallautenant!" Irmina handed them her helmet and took out her uniform jacket from her bag, checking another's watch.
"Are they—"
"Yes, Ma'am. The Captain and Generallautnanr are delaying."
"Your phone, Generallautenant."
Irmina cursed before the driver pushed her into them. She took a deep breath with her jaws clenching hard as she looked at the ground.
"Thanks for making me even later." Irmina huffed and started running to base. He really wanted a fight but of course, her soldiers wouldn't allow that and blocked him off.
"You are late!" Adelaide shouted at the Lieutenant General and noticed her trousers looked like it was skidded on the road. They saluted Irmina as they opened the gates. One took her bag but he was stopped so Irmina could get her beret. "Where's the bike?"
"Someone shouldn't be driving." Irmina sighed, fixing her beret and trousers. "Generallautnant Otto took the first 30 minutes and you are in your office, going through my reports."
Irmina exhaled deeply before she started running at a very fast pace that Adelaide couldn't keep up.
"Mäder! Fix your collar!" König voiced as she ran past him.
The Lieutenant furrowed his eyebrows, finding where's the problem with his collar after Irmina returned the salute, which he did. He then hid his laugh from the Colonel who is struggling to keep up with their boss.
<>
There was a knock on the door which spooked Natasha because the entire day is usually quiet unless it's Bernadette or Anna and sometimes the neighbours. She heard a muffled voice saying he was delivering and he was.
"Uh hi, for Natasha? Anyways there's a note saying uh—don't stay up too late?"
Natasha let out a deep sigh before thanking for the food delivery.
"Honestly, I could have figured dinner myself—" Natasha turned the note around and scoffed. It said that she could burn down the entire building because she couldn't cook. "You bitch but you're so right."
<>
"You didn't have to travel all the way to Kolbenz, just to do a check-up on me."
"I value you a lot, Generallautenant."
"Then please read my proposal, Mr. President."
"We can't become a military powerhouse again."
"Because of our history? That's complete bullshit."
"What would people think?"
"I am asking for this for our defence. We cannot compete with the big countries, it's impossible. Our Navy isn't even a navy, they're just six ships. Only 48% of our equipment works in the entire military. Nato has asked us to increase our budget because we are not spending enough. We aren't considered a proper military force."
"But—"
"Bundespräsident. You asked me to take over. This is me asking you to let me use the money we have and the power I have."
"Suppliers?"
"I know a couple. All legal of course."
"I will not be asking. Well, the army will be in your hands then we will see about the other branches."
"Let me get you to your hotel."
"No, it's fine."
"Bundespräsident, you will have me. No debates, sir."
-.-
Never once, Irmina had felt tired without any action but stacks of paperwork just drained her mind. Upon throwing her keys into a bowl on her coffee table, accidentally woke up the Redhead on her sofa. She softly apologised and urged her to go back to sleep as she sat on the carpeted floor with takeout.
"How's work?"
"Pretty good."
"Hm." Natasha let out before letting herself fall back asleep, giving Irmina the time to herself for food. To be honest, a life like this is all the German could ask for.
Someone to come home to.
In the shared space, still has time to herself to do whatever she wants. The most calming and chill music softly came from her phone as she read her book and ate her late dinner. The breeze of wind graced their skin as it flowed through the balcony and into the apartment. Natasha dropped her arm onto Irmina's shoulder and she wasn't bothered with it, slurping on her wanton soup as quietly as possible.
It's always the Chinese restaurants that open til so late which Irmina is absolutely grateful for.
"You got one for me?"
"Technically no but there's this one," Irmina said, carefully wrapping the bottom of the container with stacks of tissue papers and opening it for Natasha. The younger woman sat on the carpeted floor close enough to see what she was reading while Irmina handed her the soup. "It's still quite hot."
"Thank you."
"How was the dinner?"
"Pretty amazing—this too!" Irmina smiled at Natasha, placing her book down and slowly had the rest of her soup. Natasha got up which confused Irmina but she just told her to chill while she go get them drinks.
"Do you want to watch anything?"
"What do you suggest?"
"Hey! I asked you." Irmina pointed the mouth of the bottle at Natasha before drinking. The younger woman followed it quite closely with Irmina unbothered, checking through her cable. "Natasha, stop staring at my lips."
"Sorr—" Irmina pushed the woman to the floor, holding her arms hostage above her head.
"Do you want me, Romanov?"
"If I say yes, would you want me?"
"No."
"But—" Natasha scoffed softly before breaking another wall Irmina had built. "You taught me love is weakness but you want it. To have someone in your life, spoiling them with all you have but you can't do it because you are afraid. Then be afraid—"
"Wow—what a way to call me out."
Irmina went to her original position and sipped on her beer, finally using her TV. Natasha still lay on the ground, confused and annoyed. The woman hastily crawled onto Irmina and straddled her lap.
"At least try."
"You really want me?"
"I do."
"Don't," Irmina said with a heavy heart, pushing Natasha off because she was terrified. She cannot do this again. Natasha furrowed her eyebrows, disappointed, not even realising Irmina was halfway out of the door. "Please, Natalia. Don't do this to yourself."
"Irmina!" Natasha called for her but all she received was the sound of the locks. "Why did I even try?"
"She said the same thing to me."
"Bullshit. Because of you, I can't even face her at this point."
"No, Natasha don't do that." Natasha took her wine glass and ran to her room, slamming the door in Aki's face as she forgot that they were not human. Aki looked around, trying to explain but nothing came out unless it was harsh. "I died by her hands."
"What?"
"That's why she is only fucking around—"
"She killed you—but you are the world to her."
"But Hydra has her mind. Her hands—" The Japanese woman sat beside Natasha, pushing the glass of wine down as she begged for her to listen. "—are covered in so much blood, that she can't tell the difference between whether it was for good or bad. All she knows are her killings. I introduced myself into her life and she was doing good. So fucking amazing before they ruined everything."
"But how can she just kill you because they said so."
"They have the ability to turn a switch in her mind, bringing this alter-ego. She can kill anyone without hesitation or remorse. No ability to tell between right to wrong as her morality has just gone and only knows orders. What I found out was that they broke her."
Natasha turned to look at the late wife, surprised yet understanding. She could tell but hearing it from Aki was somewhat really different because, with the look on her pale face, they broke her more than once.
"So much that she couldn't stand touch."
"They raped her."
"They tortured her just because she was a woman. They did everything possible to tear her to shreds."
Aki looked out at the dimly lit up street and then to the sky, pondering if she should continue.
"All Irmina wanted was to love and run her fingertips along the skin of the woman she loved but the fear of knowing what she could do, stops her completely.
And I have tried to tell Irmina every good it possibly can give if she opens up but she only brought up the way she killed me.
I know it is extremely hard but please, with the patience you have, love her. She admires your strength and talents and comes to love them but can't bring herself to the idea of loving you without hurting you. If you do want her after all this, please don't give up on her."
"How can I love her with everything she has done to me?"
"I don't know but I understand if you love her another way because she needs the constant things in her life. You, our family, Adelaide, Marlene, Maria and Nikolai. But if she loses you because of tonight—"
"She might not want anything to do with me. That should make me feel better but it doesn't—Fuck, lo—"
"Love is weakness. But weaknesses make you human."
"Is it because of her, I really want to destroy myself to love her?"
"D—" Irmina let out shakily, as she raised her head to look at Natasha but was guilty. "Please don't destroy yourself to love me. It's not worth it. I'm not worth it."
Aki disappeared from their sight the moment Irmina entered the room.
"You are. You are so worth it in my books. You are all I know—You are all I want." Natasha said breathlessly, walking closer to the older woman, soaked from the rain. She must have come back to check on Natasha but after hearing the conversation, she needed to tell. "Irmina, look at me."
"I've booked you a hotel room for the rest of your break."
"Irmina, what?"
"You can stay if you want. If you are uncomfortable, you can go to the hotel room. I'll drop you off."
"I will be staying here König. I want to love you."
"After everything I have done to you?"
"That was never you."
"No—that was me. It's either me or you and the girls. I chose me."
—gotta make you hate Irmina—
4th October 2010
Since that night, Irmina has been avoiding Natasha with everything she has. Working til late hours and out of the house before Natasha could even catch a glimpse of her. Snuck back into the apartment, not wanting to wake the Redhead up but made sure she had something to eat.
Irmina had denied her shadows from even interacting with the Agent and even blocked them from her, still letting them see the world of course. She is not that cruel but what she said to Natasha was cruel. But it was a lie. She needed Natasha to hate her and let her go."
"Can you stop?" Natasha shouted at Irmina, who ignored her and left the apartment. "I can't bring myself to hate you."
"You have to," Irmina whispered, leaning against the door, with all the guilt she was putting Natasha through. She slid to the ground, tears spilling from her eyes as she hugged her knees together. She knew that her neighbours wouldn't find her like this or even Natasha.
She took five minutes to collect herself before heading to work like nothing had happened.
"You have been gloomy." Adelaide voiced entering the office before saluting Irmina. She waved it off and told her to shut the door. The Colonel placed lunch on the desk before sitting down, trying to read her boss. "What did you do?"
"I am doing paperwork."
"What did you do?"
"Trying to make a certain Russian hate me."
"Are you crazy?!" Irmina scoffed in response, wanting to take her lunch but the Colonel took it away and looked at her with disappointment. She hates that look from anyone.
"Don't look at me like that."
"Like I'm disappointed in you."
"Yeah, don't."
"Look Generallautnant König, I don't fear you whether you are my boss or friend. What you are doing is so fucking stupid. Why can't you let her love you?"
"Because the last time I let someone love me—she fucking died!" Irmina stood up in anger, facing Adelaide who was unbothered. The older woman shuts her eyes before sinking back into her chair. "I'm sorry."
"You're scared."
"They found us. I don't know but Hydra fucking found us. And I—I killed her." Irmina looked up to Adelaide with tears that were being held back. She looked away to the window while Adelaide regretted for pushing, walking to her side. "I do not want Natasha to suffer the same fate as Aki. She has other choices but why did she have to choose me?"
"Because—" Adelaide turned the chair to face as she knelt on the ground. "—Woman, everyone wants you. I do too, but for something else. While Ms. Romanov wants to be Mrs. König."
"You are so bad at this."
"So are you, Generallautnant."
"This aside, you are getting promoted."
"Okay...I do not care about that but your love life and our sex life."
"Would you please get up?"
"Would you please make up with the beautiful Redhead?"
"Nien."
"You know...with your abilities as a super soldier with secret powers, I am pretty sure you will have to work with her, in case of a world-threatening situation. You cannot avoid her." Adelaide added, rising from the ground and handed her lunch. Irmina exhaled deeply. staring at the box of food. "Sorry for pushing."
"I could actually discharge you."
"Please don't. I wouldn't know what to do with my life afterwards."
"I know and I won't."
"I don't think you would hurt Romanov—"
"Kaiser."
"König. I mean come on, give yourself a chance. From what I know, Hydra is gone and no one else would have known unless it's me or Marlene or Bernadette and her granddaughter."
"Get out."
"No thank you, Irmina. I don't have anyone else to have lunch with."
"Why are you so persistent on me going for Romanov? You would lose me as your sex buddy."
"I rather see you with the things you deserve in life than get all the amazing orgasms from you. I would sacrifice that."
"Wow, so selfless."
"Hey! You deserve everything for whatever you have gone through, König."
"Ew."
"You can't take any nice things said to you, huh? I will smack into your head."
—hm—
a/n
idk if i should just give yall pain or be nice because it has been going too smoothly
also did not forget you babes, just finally finished all my exams for semester
well people, hope you had fun reading hehehehe
anyways
have a good day/night!
bye :3