So I didn't stop by the frat house that night because I was attending the NHL finals, which was (apparently) the most important league in the entire universe and the Rangers were in the finals against the Boston Bruins.
Of course, it was Yeji's car that picked me up at my dorm and of course I made awkward eye contact with her through the rear view mirror as I sat in the back seat next to Seungmin and Chris.
Yeji's hair was dyed lilac, with some blue highlights, probably the team's color.
Jake was in the front and after greeting me with a smile, he told me that the rest of the group didn't like field hockey as much as Yeji, Chris and himself.
We got a parking spot next to a restaurant, five minutes away from the rink because it was full. We could literally hear the screams and cheers from the audience getting louder and louder as we got closer to the entrance.
I caught Yeji watching me as we walked, eyebrows furrowed.
"I hope people don't get violent about these things." I said to Jake and he smiled.
"Last year, a man was rushed to the hospital because someone hit him with some skates."
"What?"
"Stop torturing her. That didn't happen love." Seungmin said, turning to look at me.
We found our seats just above the door and of course my seat was between Yeji and Seungmin.
"I'm going to get us snacks, who wants what?" Chris asked, getting up.
"I want popcorn and a coke." Yeji replied and handed him some money.
Jake ordered the same and also offered to pay for me, which I denied, saying I was full anyway.
Chris gave me a strange look, before shrugging his shoulders and asking Yeji to go with him. They left and Seungmin sighed, leaning back in his seat.
"This is so fucking boring and i'm so fucking cold."
"So why did you come?" I asked. He turned his head toward me, his piercing puppy dog eyes watching me.
"Because my stupid fiancé lives for this stuff and I love watching him get really nervous during the game, which will eventually result in angry sex or victory sex. Both work." I smiled and he winked at me. "Plus, he says I look adorable in his field hockey jerseys."
He added and narrowed his little hands a bit so that the jersey sleeves fell over his fingers.
Chris and Yeji returned ten minutes left before the start of the game, and I crossed my legs, watching the two teams stretching and practicing in the last minute.
Two minutes before kickoff, they huddled by their doors and talked in a circle.
"How long does it last?" I asked Jake, who was sitting on the other side of Yeji.
"About two hours. Depends."
"Oh."
"Are you cold?"
"No, I'm fine. A little cold, yeah actually."
"If you want, I can give you my jacket." Jake offered, but I shook my head.
"Don't worry, it's okay."
"If you say so."
I was about to say something else, but there was a loud noise and the game suddenly started.
To be honest, I didn't really understand much because it was so loud and everyone was on the edge of their seats, yelling and cheering.
Also, it was cold and I was very hungry, so I couldn't really concentrate on what was happening on the court.
All I know is that when the team in black and yellow scored, Yeji started cursing and Chris's face turned very red.
During the first period, the same team scored again, and Yeji kept yelling things like "what the fuck is this!" and "what the fuck is that!" and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.
During the first half of the second half, our team scored and the whole stadium stood up, clapping and their goal chant started to ring out.
I simply followed Seungmin's lead, who started clapping as he stood up. Chris kissed the top of his head in joy and Seungmin's eyes crinkled as he smiled warmly.
The second time our team scored a goal was in the middle of the last period, and I, while pretending to know what was going on, was stuck looking at Yeji, who looked really happy, as if she was actually the one who scored that goal.
"We're winning this, I can feel it." She said to no one in particular, probably talking to herself.
But her happiness came to an end a minute before the end of the game, when our group accidentally scored an automatic goal and no one knew how fifty seconds later, there was a sound announcing the final end of the game, and the other team came running out onto the ice, hugging and jumping, throwing their kits all over the place.
"This is fucking bullshit! What the FUCK?" Yeji shouted.
We stood around as we watched the teams shake hands, but we didn't stay for the ceremony because Chris and Yeji couldn't stay to watch "this fucking shit."
"Angry sex." Seungmin whispered in my ear as we walked outta the stadium.
I smiled at him and he winked at me, hurrying a few steps forward to get under Chris' arm and comfort him.
Yeji kept chattering about everything our team could have done better all the way to the car, then decided she wanted to eat her feelings at the fast food restaurant next to the one we parked next to.
"Fuck, I'm going to break something," She said as she picked out a reservation for us by the window.
I walked in after Chris, Seungmin and Jake, and she sat down next to me. She ran a hand through her hair and let out a sigh before taking off her jacket and sweater, placing them on the back of her seat.
I was anxious to order because I literally only had about ten dollars left in my pocket.
The waiter brought us three menus and I shared one with Jake while Yeji had hers.
"What do you want?" Jake asked me and I shrugged.
"Water, probably."
"I can pay-" He started to offer, but Yeji stepped in.
"Are you like on a date or something? Why are you offering to pay for her?" She snapped.
"What I do with my money is my business, no?"
"Don't get mad now." I said and turned to look at Yeji. "I'm broke because I have to pay my dorm rent every month, so excuse me if I don't have enough money to buy food."
Yeji stared at me for a moment, saying nothing.
Seungmin and Chris pretended to be really involved in picking out his food, and Jake played with the corners of the menu while Yeji and I had an intense stare down.
"I can pay for you." It wasn't what I expected her to say after a long, awkward silence.
"Okay, I-"
"Jesus Christ, can you stop being stubborn and move on?"
"Are you mad because I'm not going to accept you paying for my food?"
She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes tightly for a moment.
"Fine then. See if I care." She muttered and went back to the menu.
When the waiter came to take our orders, I asked for a bottle of water and she ordered spaghetti, a large portion of hamburgers with fries and a large pint.
I took a sip of water as I listened to Seungmin and Chris' conversation about where they should get married and when.
"We'd like to get married in May."
"We didn't decide in June?" Chris asked, even though everyone at the table knew he would end up letting Seungmin decide.
The waiter brought our orders a few minutes later, and I was surprised when Yeji pushed the plate of spaghetti toward me.
I shot her a confused look.
"You know you want it." She said as she took a bite of her burger.
"Thank you."
She didn't respond, choosing to photograph her food instead and continue eating.
"My sister's coming tomorrow." She announced a few minutes later, when she was almost done with her meal.
"Jinni?" Chris asked, his face lighting up.
Yeji nodded, shoving the last remnants of her fries into her mouth and then taking a swig of beer.
"Tomorrow is her birthday, she's turning two. And my mom insists on coming to our show on Sunday with Mark."
"That's great, I finally get to meet the woman who raised you." Jake said and pretended to wipe a tear from the corner of his eye.
"You're going to end up in the hospital if you keep drinking like that." I told her as she drank all the beer in one go and she snorted.
"Like you give a fuck."
"Actually I do." I muttered.
She didn't respond and I sighed, rolling my eyes.
The waiter came back with the bill and everyone paid their share, before we were up and ready to go.
"How late is it?" I asked Jake once we got back to the car. Jake climbed into the driver's seat, pushing Yeji in the back with Chris and me.
I was extremely aware of Yeji's leg against mine, warm against the fabric of my jeans.
Jake dropped Chris and Louis off at their rented apartment, before driving back to my dorm building.
"Do you want to come over tomorrow after school?" he asked me as I was about to get out of the car.
"Uh, are you sure? I mean, yeah. okay. Good night."
I made eye contact with Yeji, who averted her gaze and looked out the window.
Okay then.
***
The next day went by very quickly, mainly because it was Friday and I only had two courses.
Chaer and I decided to walk to the fraternity house together, because I had plans with Ryan to have lunch a little later.
The moment we walked into the house, we heard baby cries and something that sounded like Josh talking in a baby voice.
In the living room we were greeted by a really strange sight: half the frat boys were gathered around the couch, sitting, watching a blonde girl sucking on her pacifier and giggling at something Josh was saying to her.
"Hey?" I asked confused, and they all turned to look at me.
The little girl turned to me and looked at me with her little feline eyes. I recognized her right away from some of the pictures Yeji showed me of her sister.
"Is this Yeji's sister?" I asked coming closer.
"Yejiii!" She shouted laughing and I smiled.
"Speaking of Yeji, where is she?"
"She's gone to pick up Niki, then she's taking them both to the mall. There's a new playground open right next to the frozen yogurt place." Jake said getting up from the floor.
"Oh."
"She should be back any minute, dhe left like thirty minutes ago."
As soon as he said that, we heard the front door open and Yeji's voice telling someone to take off their jacket.
Then we saw Niki walking into the room in small, quick steps. He saw me and smiled, running towards me.
"Ryu!"
"Hi." I smiled and he wrapped his arms around my thighs.
He looked at me and raised his arms. I took him in my arms and wrapped his hands around my neck.
"Is she still awake?" Yeji asked, looking around the room, then she saw her sister on the couch.
Jinni struggled to get up from the couch and walked over to Yeji with her arms forward.
"Let's go to Mickey Mouse?"
"Mhm." She nodded and Jinny plopped down on her butt, laughing. "Let's get you dressed and then we can go."
They all looked at het silently as she placed her on the couch and bent down in front of her, putting on her tiny shoes.
"Niki, come on." She said and I set him down.
"Ryu can come too, Yeji? Please!" Niki pleaded and tugged on her jeans. I made eye contact with her and she shrugged.
"Uh, if she wants to."
I shrugged and nodded.
"Sure. Why not?"
That's how I found myself in the passenger seat as Yeji struggled to put Jinni in the car seat. Niki was already buckled in on the other side, excited for our short trip to the mall.
"Can we get ice cream?" He asked, three fingers in her mouth.
"Yes, we can get ice cream." Yeji replied and Jinni let out an excited cry, which caused her pacifier to fall into her lap.
Yeji slammed the door shut and rounded the car, walked over to the driver's seat and got in.
"Where's your mom?" I asked.
"They're jetlagged, so I offered to watch Jinni today."
"That's nice of you."
An awkward silence settled over the car as I drove, eyes too focused on the road.
The mall was fifteen minutes away and Yeji ended up holding Jinni because Niki insisted on holding my hand.
"Can I get two flavors? And more sprinkles? And a big cone?" Niki asked as we made our way inside the mall.
"You can get whatever you want, Niki." Yeji told him and it looked like Niki had just seen the second coming of Christ.
We had to stop on our way to the playground because Jinni spotted a pair of Minnie Mouse ears on our way to the escalator.
Yeji bought her a pair and her smile was so big her cheeks were definitely sore.
The playground was on the second floor, and it was pretty crowded, and after much discussion, Yeji let Niki and Jinni play by themselves while we watched them from our table.
She ordered two chocolate milkshakes for us and I thanked her. We sipped our drinks in silence before she broke it:
"So, are you still mad at me?"
"I wasn't mad at you." I replied, my heart racing because she was finally talking to me.
"So what was it that you ignored me and didn't talk to me?"
"Hurt."
"Why?"
"Because you called me all those names and stuff... And I don't know, is that what you really think of me?"
"No." She replied and it sounded like she really meant it.
"Then why did you say that?"
"Because I was angry and I wanted you to, I don't know."
"Were you angry and wanted me to suffer too or what?"
"No. It was a defensive thing, I don't know, okay? I'm sorry."
I sighed and she finished her milkshake, before getting up and walking away, probably to throw it away.
She returned a few minutes later sneaking up behind me and placing something on my head.
"What's that?" I asked looking up to see Minnie Mouse's ears.
"I know you wanted it...look at it as a peace offering."
I smiled and she smiled back, sitting down across from me.
"So why weren't you in literature and music class yesterday?" she asked, looking much more comfortable now.
"I ditched with Jake, did anyone notice?"
"Well, Gray didn't have his usual erection, so yeah, I think everyone knew something was up."
I rolled my eyes and smiled, sipping my straw so I could savor the last bits of my milkshake.
"Want another?" She asked and I smiled at her. "You're two years old, I swear." She said and got up to go get me another one.
She came back with my milkshake, before asking me if I wanted to come back to the frat house later to hang out. I agreed, of course, and she bit her lip, smiling.
"We just have to drop him off at his mom's house and I think Niki will be back with us tonight, but I'm not sure."
"Okay." I shrugged.
Half an hour later the paid time was up and we had to bring the kids in.
Niki yelled "ICE CREAM" as soon as he put his shoes back on and ran with his tiny feet toward the ice cream shop, clapping his hands.
I followed him, and Yeji followed with Jinni, who was walking a little slower.
Yeji decided that was enough ice cream for one day, so she gave them the two cupcakes. She lit a candle on Jinni's cupcake and wished her happy birthday, before she blew it out and managed to spread the chocolate all over her mouth.
I leaned against the car as I waited for Yeji to wipe Jinny's mouth and for Niki to finish her cupcake.
"Want a cupcake, Ryu?" He suddenly asked, coming up to me and holding it out with a smile on his face.
I wanted to scream because this was the cutest thing in my life.
"No, thank you, love." I smiled and he pouted, standing on his tiptoes so he could reach higher.
"I want to share! Yeji says sharing is caring. And I care about you! "
I pretended to take a bite and he smiled contentedly, before biting it too.
"That's the cutest kid ever, I swear to God." I told Yeji once we were back in the car, on our way to Seulgi and Mark's hotel room.
"We have a lot of things in common." She smiled and I didn't know what exactly she meant.
Was she calling herself cute?
She dropped Jinni off at the hotel, then Niki at his house, before she finally started driving back to the fraternity house.
Everyone was in the living room or by the pool, just hanging out. There was no party tonight, which was surprising.
I saw Soph on the couch and pretended not to care when Yeji walked over to her and kissed her lips quickly, before squeezing me next to her.
"What are we doing tomorrow?" Jake asked and sat me on his lap on the couch.
"We're not going to do anything because my baby sister is coming again and I'm going to teach her how to swim. So none of you better fuck in the pool tonight, got it?" Yeji replied, shooting Zayn and James a warning look.
"Look who's talking." Zayn replied and Soph smiled.
I don't care.
"Where's Justin?" I asked loud enough for her to hear me.
"Um, he's out getting us some ice cream."
"So you guys are still treating him like a slave?"
"That's what promises do, Ryu." Yeji said to me.
"I think you're being too hard on him," I continued.
"Just because he's your boyfriend doesn't mean we have to give him some kinda special treatment." She replied and I grimaced.
Jake pinched my hip and patted me before I leaned into him, sighing dramatically.
I was so tired of fighting with Yeji over the smallest things.
"I'm going to the bathroom." I muttered.
The truth was, I just wanted to get out of there.
It's because I'm upset, not because I can't stand there and watch Yeji and Soph cuddle.
I ran my hands through my hair as I walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.
Don't cry, there's no reason to cry...
This is stupid.
Why would I care?
There was a soft knock on the door and I mumbled a barely audible "just a second!", making sure not to mess up my makeup as I wiped the corners of my eyes.
I ruffled my hair a bit and turned to the door, opening it. I sighed when I saw Yeji standing in front of me, her lips pressed into a tight line.
"What?" I asked.
"I want to pee. Why are you crying?"
"I'm not crying."
"Yes, you are, I can see the tears on your cheeks."
"I was— I have something in my eye."
"Your eye is twitching."
"So?"
"So you're lying."
"No, I have something in my eye."
"Yes, a lie."
"Yeji, just-" I said as I tried to push her out of the way. She grabbed my wrists to keep me from moving any further.
"Tell me why you're crying."
"Why do you care?"
"Because I do, baby."
"Don't call me babe, like that makes me feel better or something."
"Your eyes sparkled."
"Stop paying attention to all the little things!"
"I love all these little things."
She replied and I pouted, trying to ignore the butterflies that exploded in my stomach all of a sudden.
"Stop quoting yourself, oh my god." I said and tried to pretend I was mad, but I couldn't and my laughter gave me away.
"So when you've stopped pretending to be angry, come back downstairs, right? Why are you angry anyway? Did I do something?"
"No."
She smiled and pinched my cheek. I smiled back and she put an arm around me as we started walking.
"Your girlfriend won't mind if you touch me like that?" I couldn't help but ask.
"I'm not doing anything." She said innocently, running her fingers up and down my bare arm. "Just touching your arm. Why, does it feel like cheating?"
"You're an idiot." I laughed and pulled away from her grip to go into the living room, not before she spanked me.
So yeah, maybe everything was back to normal.
***
Saturday was spent poolside at the fraternity house, and we were also joined by Jinni, who was once again the main attraction of the day.
It was nice to see all the "manly" guys being so cute and giggly with a two year old baby.
Then Sunday came and Yeji was even more frustrated because Seulgi, Mark and Jinni were supposed to arrive any minute.
They were playing at Radio City Music Hall, in front of about seven thousand people, which, well, was huge for a college band, and sold out in the first thirty minutes.
"Stop fidgeting, it makes us all nervous." I said to Yeji as we sat on a couch in the dressing room.
"I can't. It's the first time my mom has heard me play and if she doesn't like it?"
"She'll love you Yeji. It's kinda cute though, how you care about her liking you and all."
She sighed and rested her elbows on her knees, sinking her face between her palms.
"Here you go, baby."
James appeared in front of me, carrying the coke I ordered and the bottle of beer Yeji asked for. Then he sat down next to me.
I watched him watch Zayn as he got dressed, showing off his bare torso that was riddled with tattoos that probably had a story behind them, just like Yeji's.
Seulgi and Mark showed up a few minutes late with Jinni on their arm. She was dressed in a cute pink girly dress that made her adorable.
"Lyuuu!" She said as soon as she saw me, which made her drop her pacifier. I smiled, getting up to go greet everyone.
"Hi."
"Oh, Ryu! I haven't seen you in so long! You've grown so much!" Seulgi started talking and I smiled politely, shaking my head.
"It's good to see you, honey." Mark added and Jinni held out a hand to me.
Seulgi handed her to me, before they left to talk to Yeji and meet everyone else, I could clearly see that she was nervous that her mother would see her perform, but I had no doubt that she would love her as much as I do.
What?
Ten minutes before the show started we could already hear screams and noises from the stage, and it was really exciting.
Our group was asked to walk to the left side of the stage, where we could sit on some prop boxes on the stage.
Yeji's parents were taken to the right side along with Jinni. She was sitting on a huge black box, between Justin and Yuna.
The show started exactly when it was supposed to, and it was great.
I tried to pretend I didn't see the way Yeji was looking at me during Hey There, Shin and Little Things, and I also tried not to laugh as I filmed her singing Teenage Dirtbag in a tank top revealing her sunburned arms this morning by the pool.
"Are you posting on Instagram?"
Yuna questioned as soon as they finished their concert, two and a half hours later.
"Mhm."
"To five hundred fucking fans?"
"Yep."
"You're bad."
I shrugged and clicked the blue "Share" button at the bottom of my Instagram page.
When they left the stage, Seulgi was the first to hug Yeji and give her a kiss on the cheek. She turned red, knowing that everyone was watching them.
"I'm so proud of you baby... my own daughter, it seems like just yesterday you were running around the house in your diaper-"
"MOM!" Yeji said, embarrassed. Seulgi shot her a sad smile, her eyes teary. "Oh my god, don't cry now."
Yeji mumbled and pretended to be upset as she pulled her mom to her side. It was ridiculous; Yeji was taller than her and Larry.
"Now, on to more serious matters... do you have a special lady in your life?" Seulgi asked and I couldn't help but notice everyone turning their heads to me and then to Soph.
"Actually, I do have a girlfriend." Yeji replied and I bit my lip.
Seulgi looked me in the eyes and smiled.
"How cute for you, Ryuu! I knew you two would end up together after-"
"It's Soph." Yeji quickly stepped in and went to put an arm around Soph, who leaned towards her.
Seulgi blinked and Mark looked confused.
"Oh. OH. Well. Hello."
"Nice to meet you Mrs. Kang," She said politely.
Was it just me or was it extremely awkward?
"Are we going somewhere to celebrate?" Ning asked her as soon as Seulgi and Mark left because it was Jinni's bedtime.
The stage crew was starting to clean up, and after getting dressed we left the venue. A car was going to drop off the equipment next to the fraternity house, and the guys staying home would take care of it.
"There's a club across the street, if you want?" suggested Yeji and Soph nodded enthusiastically.
"Do you wanna go princess?" Justin asked and I smiled, nodding.
I had told him a few days before that Yeji used to call me princess, so he should call me that too.
It seemed to work, because I saw Yeji quickly turn her head to look at us and then look back at the street in front of them.
She had Soph under her arm as they walked, and I felt like I was the one who was supposed to snuggle into her warmth and smell her amazing cologne, not her.
But I was just being selfish, because Yeji wasn't mine.
Oh, but how much I wanted her to be.