𝑴𝒂𝒚𝒂 𝑺𝒕. 𝑴𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒏
Waking up in Kol's arms the next morning was heaven.
Breathing in his scent and holding him close.
I loved this. I loved him. Waking up like this every day is something that I would love.
I stare at him for a few moments. Admiring him. Loving him with my eyes.
His eyes flutter open and find me. He smiles and snuggles me closer.
"Surprised you're not sneaking out," he mutters and I roll my eyes.
"Don't tempt me." I relax my hands against his chest and feel his heartbeat against my palm.
Kol stares at me for a moment. "You stayed."
I smile at him. "I stayed."
We stare at each other for a moment. The world seemed to have stopped. We inched closer to each other. His fingers tangled into my hair.
We were about to kiss when a loud clanging sound came from the kitchen.
What the hell was that?
I sigh. Neveah. Neaveah!
I jump out of bed and put on my clothes. "Sweetheart, relax. She's not going to barge into the bedroom."
"You never know. And don't call me that." Neveah. I completely forgot about Neveah. And Neveah and Kol.
The cuddling. The kissing. They're together. I can't believe I just had sex with someone else's boyfriend.
I'm a slut.
Kol looks taken aback by my answer and puts on his clothes. "Sorry, Maya."
My heart breaks at the look on his face. It's my fault. I instigated it.
I stumble into the living room. "Morning."
Neveah doesn't even turn to look at me. "Hey, darling. How do you like your eggs?"
"Scrambled," I mumble.
Kol walks over to Neveah and kisses him on the cheek. "Good Morning, handsome. Fried eggs right?"
He likes scrambled eggs, dummy.
"You know it is my apartment. Let me cook for you guys," Kol wagers.
"Nonsense. This is my thank you for letting me stay here while Dre and I go through our little scabble," Neveah beams.
"Dre. This is the second time you've mentioned him," I interject. "Is he your boyfriend?"
Neveah laughs. Almost like she's mocking me, but if you weren't paying attention, you'd miss it. "No, darling. He's my roommate. He's also a slob I can't stand being near. I told him what I thought about his cleanliness and it turned into a huge argument. Kol was nice enough to let me stay here."
"Yeah, after you showed up on my doorstep with your suitcase, it was hard to say no," he jokes.
Neveah laughs and rolls her eyes.
She has a male roommate? I know Kol is secure in who he is, but a male roommate is pushing it.
Or am I just insecure?
I really need to stop bringing myself down.
Neveah makes eggs, bacon, and biscuits for breakfast. Somehow everything on my plate was burnt.
Sneaky bitch.
"I have to run some errands. Will you be here when I'm back, Maya?" Neveah asks.
I shake my head no. "Probably not. I have some of my own."
Neveah leaves leaving Kol and me alone. For the first time in a long time, it's awkward.
"So, you ready to talk?" Kol asks.
I give him a tight smile. "If not now, then when?"
Kol sits next to me on the couch.
"When I met you, I didn't expect you to take up every aspect of my life. I thought you were just some pretty girl from the club. But you are so much more than that. You're smart, you're funny, you're determined. You challenge me to be better and even if you're nowhere near me, just thinking of you makes my day 10 times better," Kol says.
God, I'm terrible. I'm a terrible person.
"I realized that I loved you a long before I told you. And I tried to fight it because I knew that that was not what you wanted. In that moment between us, I just let it slip because it felt so natural. And when you ran away in tears, you took a piece of my soul with you. And I didn't think I would ever get it back. I didn't think I was ever going to see you again. Until you showed up yesterday."
I let out a deep breath to control my tears.
"When I was 15, I dated this boy Jeremiah. He was my entire world. Everything I ever did was to please him. I loved him more than words can express and for a 15-year-old, that's very overwhelming. One day I went over to his house and saw him screwing a girl in his room. He always tried to have sex with me, but I was 15 and wasn't ready. Guess he decided to get it somewhere else."
I was crying at this point. I had never told anyone about this. I wanted to be vulnerable with Kol. He deserved it.
"It broke me. Two days later, they paraded around the school and became the new IT couple. Junior year is when I started exploring my sensual side. I decided to stop waiting for the perfect guy to come and just get it over with," I sniffle.
Kol squeezes my arm. "Do you regret it?"
"A little bit. It made me really dependent on men finding me attractive to help boost my confidence. When we stopped seeing each other, it was like a hole in myself. There was a piece of myself that's never been able to recover and I know why now."
"I don't think you're confident because of men. You're partly confident because you know you can get men. You know you're gorgeous with an amazing personality. It's all about self-confidence, Maya. And you got it."
I smile at him, tears still streaming down my face. "I want to be better for you so bad, Kol. You deserve it. I want to be worthy of you."
"Maya, you being you, is worthy enough for me," he whispers, sliding closer to me.
"Look where me being me gotten us the first time. I broke your heart and broke mine in the process. I'm a terrible and selfish person," I cry.
"Maya, I love you! You are not terrible or selfish. You are perfect."
"I am far from perfect."
"You're perfect to me," he whispers.
"You still love me?"
"I don't think I can ever stop, sweetheart."
His forehead lays against mine as I cry in his arms. He still loves me.
My phone ringing interrupts our moment. I grab my phone from the room and see Angela's name as the caller ID.
"What's up, Ang"
I hear sniffles that turn into heavy sobs.
"Maya, Leo, and I broke up."
Shit.
End of Chapter Forty-Three
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