TTHE OTHER BROTHER
CHAPTER 60
CYNTHIA
The day I never thought I would see. Everyone is here. The Zikode's and the Ngcobo family. Meaning Ngcobo and his wife. My worst nightmare I refused facing. I'm disturbed beyond shame. Mkhuseli is seating for away from everyone. I hate how he isolates himself every chance he gets
"Mfazi KaBafo. I believe you gathered this meeting to tell the boy the truth." One of the Zikode men say. I take a deep breath. I look at Mkhuseli once more. The pain cuts deep. I don't know how he would feel about this. He is about to find out.
"As you all know about the depth I paid when my husband was still alive. Alot happened..."
"Just get straight to the point."
This man is entirely rude. How dare he!
"Mkhuseli meet your father. Ngcobo meet your son."
I shamefully look down. I hear Mkhuseli laugh out loud like a mad hyena.
"I know that you hate me. But what you are subjecting me to is total bullshit!" He stands up ready to storm out.
"Sit down young man. You don't walk out while men are still talking." One of the men say. Baba Omncane has been silent looking down with his hand entwined. Mkhuseli slowly sits down and huffs angrily.
"Baba." He calls out for him. Baba Omncane lifts his head up an his eyes are bloody red. He is crying. They say don't cry but this is heart-breaking.
"You will always be my brother's son. Always. You may not be a Zikode by blood but you are our son." Tears roll down his cheeks.
"Cynthia. Please tell me that this is not true." My son has never called me by name. His eyes plead. I see emptiness in his eyes.
"I'm sorry I kept the truth away from you son. I was only trying to protect you." I add.
"You never valued me. I was always outcasted by you. The only person who made me sane was my father!" He kicks the bucket next to him. Luckily there is nothing inside. "You made me value myself less whereas you knew why! I hate you Cynthia! You deserve what happened to you. I wish he could do it again."
Gasps fill up the room. No one was expecting that. I'm shattered a thousand time. A son I gave birth to wish me upon bad. It's not fare. I was also suffering and still is. I was suffering in silence. Tears stream down my face as I look at Mkhuseli trembling. He runs out.
"He shouldn't drive. He is not in a good state." Baba Omncane says running after him. He comes back with is shoulder's slumbered.
"I couldn't stop him." That is not good enough! He should have tried harder.
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I've been trying Mkhuseli on his phone with no luck. I am stressed, depressed and confused. I wouldn't bare the disappearance. My phone rings and it's a number I don't recognise. I quickly swipe thinking it might be him. Those bloody insurance people. I toss my phone aside. I don't know what to do or who to call. This is crazy. He might be with that girl.
I grab my phone from the couch and scroll through my phone book. Feels like it's taking forever to connect. Finally, it rings.
"Is Mkhuseli with you?"
"No. He said he was coming to you." Okay that's it! I'm going to the police station to open a file of a missing person.
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To be honest, when it comes to the police service. The are just useless and stupid. How does get to have a person's missing document after twenty four hours? I feel like I wasted my time for sweet nothing. Nothing is going right. Running out of options and people to call. I wish I could just... I don't know. See him and give him a hug.
I wouldn't be able to sleep fully knowing that I don't have a clue of my son's where about. I lean against the couch and think of my next move. But I have none in mind.
"Thixo." I am burning on the inside. Labour pains are much more better of what I'm feeling now. Everything is aching painfully.
"Hmmm." I slap my thighs. Maybe I am dreaming. This is not real it can never be real. I stand up and I feel my head light headed. I sink back on the couch. Maybe if I told him earlier all of this wouldn't have happened. No one would be going through this.
"God." My lips tremble.
KHANYISILE
I look at the text message and frown. This is differently not the Mkhuseli I know. He just can't tell me that he has finalized everything with the planner and we are getting married this weekend. A lot of things still need to be verified. I don’t know what’s the rush. Our wedding is in six months time. I sigh placing my phone aside. I feel rushed, empty and incomplete. I can't help it. I'm miserable.
"Are you okay?"
Thabi asks closing my bedroom door. Today I decided to go visit my father and just spend time with him. I have missed my family so much. I fail to hold it in and just let the tears flow.
"How can I be. I can't love him. I fail to." A sob escapes my mouth. She asks no more questions but holds me close to her chest. She lets me cry it all out.
I'm now calm but it's not helping.
"Have you talked to him?" She asks. I shake my head no. I don't think it will make any difference. My life is ruined already. "Right now he wants us to get married as in yesterday. He is excited about everything but I'm not."
Thabi keeps quite for a bit.
"I think it's time you go see Mkhuleko in jail. It's been like five years and you still miserable."
Just hearing his name alone sends different signs of butterflies. I smile through the tears.
"There you have your answer. Stop torturing yourself and the poor guy. Just listen to your heart."
I smile. Thabi and her craziness. I receive a text from Amanda. Girl is having it rough.
"When is she giving birth again?" Thabi.
"By this month. It's about time! Girl has been pregnant for so long it exhausts me in a way. Who carries a huge stomach for ten months? Doesn't even make sense. But it is what it is.” I respond but quickly change the subject. Our relationship has been okay for the last couple of years.
"Where is dad going to?" I ask. When I arrived he was in a rush.
"Muntu wakhe obvious." Who would have thought that my one and only father would date. Not just any woman but my best friends mother! How surreal is that?
One thing I've learnt about my family is that we stick together through good and bad times. We are always there to lift each other up. My marriage with Mkhuseli - only God knows about it. It's time I go see that big head. Hope he will not reject to be seen by me this time around. I really need to talk to him. Share my feelings. That will not be a bad thing at all.
I try Mkhuseli's number for the hundredth time and boy is not picking up. That's very odd. He always picks up my phone calls whenever I call him. He even excuses himself from meetings just to take my call. I don't want to think the worst. I'm sure he left his phone in the car. Or he has an important meeting that he is attending. Let me give him time. He will call me whenever he is gets time. But still, I can't shake the thought off. Something is definitely up. I wouldn't be surprised if his mother had a hand in it. That woman can make his life a living hell. It was the five peaceful years. With her back in the picture - anything is possible.
I will be spending the night at home. I still left a message for him. But no response. His phone rings then takes me straight to voicemail. He still hasn't been active on WhatsApp. Something sinister...
"Are you okay?"
My father is back. So, he spends his entire day with Amanda's mother. Not that I'm having a problem with it but I need him too.
"I'm good. I can't get hold of Mkhuseli."
"Maybe he is busy. Is that the reason why you are locked up in your bedroom?"
"I was about to sleep anyway." Luckily, he doesn't give me a hard time. He respects my wishes and leaves my room without saying anything. The sheets are cold making it hard for me to sleep. I just keep tossing and turning hoping for sleep to come. This feeling I have. I can't shake the thought off. Maybe it's just anxiety that's not even there.
MKHUSELI
My teeth clattering. I’m sitting by the beach looking at the waves. I've been sitting here all day with no way forward. I don't know if my life is going backwards or front. I feel like everything I've tried so hard to build is crumbling down. My whole life. My whole life, I have been leaving a lie. Not just any lie. Identity lies! My mother fucked me up and there is no coming back from this. My life has been ruined - just like that. I applaud her for doing a great job. No use of me sitting here. I should be home with my wife. With the mood I'm in. I don't want to see anyone. I promised myself that I was done crying. I promised myself that whatever that woman puts me through - I will never ever shed a tear. But here I am crying my balls out. I have no tears left in me. I am just numb. Maybe I should see Mkhuleko. He will know what to do. I stand up from the sand. I don't even dust myself. My mind is occupied with alot of things. I have alot of questions running through my mind. How did Ngcobo become my father? Did my mother cheat on my father? I can't just be told that I am his son. Did he know that I was his son the time he... Clearly not cause he did what he did.
I choke on my tears. The pain is unbearable. I take a deep breath and wipe the tears running down my cheeks. Lord. Please take me now. I'd rather rest in peace then the pain I'm feeling now.
Arriving in prison. I had to beg and beg until they agreed for me into seeing my brother. Something just tells me that all of this will be over soon. All of this will pass. I patiently wait for him. After his sweet time he comes along. His gained a bit of weight. The minute my eyes captured his, tears that I thought were no more come out gushing. He notices and hurries towards me.
"What's wrong little brother?" He asks. I wish I could just hug him. But touching is forbidden. You know what fuck this shit. I stand up and throw myself in his arms. I've never cried this much before. It pains too deep that I will never heal. I will only heal in the next life. Luckily, they let us be. We break the hug off and we both sit down.
"Your mother has gambled with my life."
"What do you mean?" He eyebrows furrows.
"She has managed to destroy the only leaving that was left in me."
"You are going around in circles. Just tell me what the hell is going on."
I take a deep breath. I can't seem to say it. I can't bring myself to.
"I'm not a Zikode." My lips tremble.
"What do you mean by that?"
"I am a Ngcobo." I muffle my cries. He doesn't respond but just stares at me blankly.
"Mkhuseli. What are you saying to me?"
"Apparently Sixakekile Ngcobo is my father not Zikode." I shrug my shoulders. Mkhuleko's eyes pop out.
"What!" His hands are on his head. My hear drums against my chest.
"Do you know him?"
His eyes wander around. He rubs his face in frustration. He groans banging the table causing me to jump.
"Mkhuleko."
"Ngcobo is...?"
"He is who?" I ask.
"Baba Omdala or Omncane to Khanyi."
"Which Khanyi?" I ask with a lump stuck in my throat. Confusion clouding over.
"Khanyisile. The one and only."
I'm lost for words. So, we are related? No wonder my mother was against the idea of me marrying Khanyi. Ngcobo! It makes sense now. I just want to know if she knew that Ngcobo is related to Khanyi. She wouldn't have kept quiet for five years now would she?
I am not mad just defeated. I am tired. My soul feels drained and exhausted. For five full years I have been loving my cousin. Wow! I have no words honestly. But what I know is. I just want to go home and rest for good. This life is not for me.
I don't want to take about this any longer.
"I better get going now. But before I go I have a request."
"What is it?*
“Take care of her. Love her like the goddess that she is. Please protect Khanyisa with everything in you. Let her not repeat what happened to us. Falling for the same person as your sibling. I love you and I will always do. I will protect you in the next life.”
I just felt like saying it. It feels so right, and I feel so much at peace after saying it.
“Mkhuseli, please don’t do something stupid.” Mkhuleko pleads. I smile.
“I promise not to do anything stupid. I just need time to myself.” His look is not fulfilled. “I will call you when I get home. I promise.” I convinced him. I hope he believes me this time around.
I look at the jail one last time – I feel my heart being shattered into a million pieces. I get in the car and drove off. The radio is playing. The noise is upsetting me. I want some silence and peace. I will take the short route home. I wonder how I will face Khanyi. Something inside of me is just – I don’t know. It doesn’t make any sense. Lots of mixed emotions. I indicate left. I look at the truck coming along in high speed with light brights on. The driver is honking nonstop. I wonder what’s wrong. The trouble takes over when I see the truck coming right at me. Jumping out of the is the safe move. I tried unbuckling the seatbelt, but it seemed to be stuck somewhere. I don’t have enough time. The more I try to remove it, the more it tightens. I let loose and waited to fate...