I wake to 5 people standing at the end of the hotel bed, staring at me.
This is getting ridiculous.
Jof, Damon, Anna, Alex, and her rizz brother Jeremy are in uniform. School must be over.
"You okay?" Jof almost whispers.
Anna plops onto the bed. "Your hot Enforcer friend let us in. He said if you're sick of room service, buy us pizza."
"He didn't say pizza." Alex frowns.
My brain is half-asleep. Why are the Principal's kids here?
"I want pizza." Anna strokes the sheet. "Serious thread count, Jak."
"You okay?" Jof seems stuck on the question. His fingers grip the strap of his bag so tight, they're bloodless.
"Yeah, Red's healer friend Kesha fixed me." Damon has the strangest look on his face. Do I have bedhead? "Can you wait till I shower?"
Jaw clenched, he nods.
"Sure." The minifridge has Anna's undivided attention. "Take your time."
Washing my body and hair till the soothing citrus scent of orange shower gel is everywhere, I try to calm down.
They're your friends, I tell myself.
Most of them.
Sort of.
This time, a black robe hangs on the bathroom door. Should I borrow Red's clothes? No, they'd swim on me. The robe is less cringe.
My reflection looks different. Eyes brighter, skin clear. I feel fresh and alive. Only a few bruises.
Back in the room, they're lounging on the couch and the floor like I'm throwing a party.
"Another robe?" Anna raises a brow. "Does Red like it? No cap, your chest is way nicer than expected. Kinda hot, with the wet hair and smooth skin."
WTH? Pulling the robe shut, I glare at her. "I don't have clothes."
"That guy took your clothes?" Alex gets to her feet. "Jak, do you need help?"
"You can trust us," says her brother.
Hilarious. Like I'd trust Mr Perfect School President.
"Is he hurting you?" Damon's eyes narrow.
"What? No! Red ditched my clothes because of, you know, the blood everywhere."
They freeze. And then Damon freaks me out with a sniffling sound.
Jeremy says what I'm thinking. "I've never seen you cry. "
Anna pats Damon on the back. "Jak gave him a menty-b."
Kneeling next to Damon, I pat his shoulder. "Hey, I'm good." He doesn't look convinced. Taking his hand, I tell the truth. "I'm so hungry, Damon. Let's have pizza."
Damon almost laughs. "You're always hungry." Wiping away tears, he says, "Why didn't you call for help?"
"No time. The window was it. Plus, I couldn't think straight after hitting my head, and I'm not sure where my phone is. I keep sleeping."
"It's the healing." Alex's eyes slide to my chest. "That's why your skin's glowy. All The Force."
Huh. My stomach rumbles. I walk to the nightstand. "Jof, order pizza on your phone, with the extra fast delivery fee. Garlic bread. Wings. I don't know. Order everything."
"I'll pay," says Damon.
"No." I wave the silver card, grinning. "Red made himself my guardian."
Their mouths fall open. I pass the card to Jof who looks like he might faint.
In true pizza party style, the Pineapple Debate begins.
Me, Damon, and Alex for.
Anna, Jof, and Jeremy are the weirdos against.
Anna and Alex check out the minifridge, discussing cocktails like they work at a bar.
I've never hung out with so many people, outside of school stuff. It's a lot. Nice, but awkward too.
Is this normal Jedi life? (Wrong robe, though.)
Alex sits next to me. How do they make their uniform look cool without being boujee? "I came to apologise, for giving you that big speech at school. I had no idea."
"Forget it."
"I mean, my dad sucks but your mum..."
"Enough already." Jeremy offers me a soda. "No drinking after healing."
Geez, dad. Why is he here?
"I came to make sure my sis doesn't insult you."
"Don't blame you." Jof starts pulling school stuff from his backpack. "The Enforcer has a short fuse. Insanely short."
Hearing him throw shade at Red makes me mad. "He's not like you think."
"Are you hooking up?" Anna toasts me with a bottle of beer. "I ship it. Guy's a meal."
"Jak isn't into guys." Jof pauses. "Are you into guys?"
"Maybe he's into girls. Or both. Or no one. He can be whoever he wants." Alex clinks drinks with Anna.
Inside, pressure builds. "Stop talking!" I yell. Where did that come from? Breathing shallow, I feel like I can't get enough air. "You don't understand."
"Then tell us." Jeremy leans on the arm of the chair till his breath hits my face. "Tell us, Jak."
I'm drowning in his hazel eyes.
"I don't know what I like. Who would date a Forceless loser? I barely know how to be friends. I only had one. Mom wouldn't let me. I disappoint my parents every day. They think I'm nothing. It's only a matter of time before I disappoint Red."
The words won't stop tumbling out.
"He's so good to me. I don't think he wants me that way. I can't tell. How would I know? But he wants me to help him. I have no power. He has too much. Neither of us like it. We understand each other. He treats me like I matter. I can't mess up. I need him. Right now, he needs me. But how long till he leaves me behind?"
Why can't I stop talking?!
"Don't you get it? It can't be anything else. I'm barely hanging on. I want him to keep me safe. I want to help him feel safe. I'm scared I'm nothing. But I want to survive. I want to matter. To someone. To Red. Maybe to myself. Mom and dad can't be right. I won't let them decide who I am. I want to do that myself."
"It's okay, I understand," says Jeremy.
And just like that, it's over.
He used The Force on me.
Rage swells. I hit him hard, and he staggers, mostly from surprise. This time, sobs rattle my body till I shake. I'm tired of crying.
Anna hugs me. The warmth is so unexpected, I freeze.
"Sorry, Jak." She hugs tighter, smelling like lemons and cinnamon. "I won't tease, I promise."
Holding on, I sob till the salty water inside dries up. It takes a while. Legit canon event.
Finally I pull away, drained and embarrassed.
Rubbing my eyes, I try to think of something to say. "I'm an idiot."
"No," says Jeremy. "You're awesome."
WTH?
"Dude, you should not have messed with his mind." Jof looks angrier than I've seen him.
"I know," says Jeremy. "But I wanted Jak to let it out. Believe me, if that stays under your skin, it feels like you're rotting from the inside."
Maybe Mr. Perfect isn't so perfect after all. With a groan, I rub my soggy face. Great, puffy eyes.
"This is me saying sorry for my bro." Alex passes a hand across my face, and the skin dries.
The Force can do that? How did I not know? Worst. Emissary. Ever.
"No swelling," she says. "Back to normal."
Life will never be normal again. "Thanks."
Damon stands up. "You're never going to be alone again. Trust me."
"I trust you."
"No, you don't get it." His eyes look like they're on fire. "We should make a Force Pact."
WTAF.