"Ah!" Taylor was standing in the doorway of the office they were sharing just screaming. Shriek after shriek, hopping up and down on the tips of her toes as Grace repeated the scream back to her.
"Breathe!" Grace smiled widely. Taylor's freaking out was absolutely justified in her opinion because in less than a minute, reputation would be out for the world to hear.
It had leaked online but the team had done their best to keep Taylor from seeing that to its full extent. They knew how much pressure she had put on that moment which is why she insisted that she and Grace be alone when the clock struck midnight. Not even her mother was there, which was new and strange but she felt less vulnerable with only Grace with her.
"Is it stupid if I admit that I am completely freaking out right now?" Taylor walked closer to Grace and then spun on her heels again in an anxious pace.
"Anything you say or feel is valid, my darling," Grace slumped into her hand as she watched Taylor go back and forth from the door to the desk. Did Taylor really think Grace couldn't tell? Even the former heiress was panicking on the inside.
"That's so cute but stop! Now is not the time to validate my feelings, it is the time to completely fucking panic," Taylor checked the countdown again and realized there was only five seconds left.
"Three... two... one. Baby, your sixth album is out," Grace had counted it out softly and watched Taylor's face turn into a smile, "Give me a word."
"What?" Taylor looked at her, "It's not the time for anything word related! You're a thesaurus, find one!"
"Give me a word," Grace reached forward and pulled Taylor onto her lap in the desk chair. It was clear to Grace that Taylor needed a moment of distraction.
"What kind of word?" She fought it only briefly and then made herself comfortable as she waited for Grace's explanation.
"The love of my life has just done something monumental in her career and I have this overwhelming sense of joy and love," Grace explained. She knew exactly what word she was looking for, none of the synonyms would be appropriate.
"Panic?"
"Taylor," Grace chuckled with amusement, "I'm so proud of you."
"Ah!" Taylor got off Grace's lap and began to pace again following her low scream, "Fucking fuck! I'm freaking out, don't give me butterflies!"
"Oh gee, I'm so sorry," Grace replied sarcastically with a wide smile, "I'm not getting a wink of sleep tonight, am I?"
"Not a chance!"
Five minutes later, Tree was calling Grace instead of Taylor. The brunette picked up the call and held it to her ear, Taylor was still trying to work her nerves out with weird movements and pacing.
"I can check that, yes," Grace pressed the device between her ear and shoulder and began to type something on her laptop. She paused as she did it and furrowed her eyebrows, "Your information is correct."
"What are you hacking?" Taylor asked over her shoulder. Grace quickly cleared the screen and looked in the corner of her eye, "Was that iTunes?"
"You are number one on their ranking," Grace said while still on the call. Taylor furrowed her eyebrows, "It is a record. Fastest artist to do that- that's what Tree is saying. She wanted me to check that it wasn't an error, that it was really working properly before she told you."
"It's only been eight minutes," Taylor gulped.
"You did it in six, Tay."
"Shut up," Taylor covered her mouth. She was so nervous about how the album would be received and had run through so many possibilities in her mind except the positive ones. Except the ones where her true, real fans still accepted her with open arms and stayed up until all hours of the morning to hear her truest confessions to date.
"I just checked the data behind it. Unless someone else is toying in iTunes code right at this moment, you've got a lot to be proud of," Grace could hear Tree in her ear but she was so focused on Taylor's face that she said, "Tree, we've got to go. Can we call in the morning?"
Taylor wiped under her eyes right as Grace stood up and wrapped her arms around her. She had done what she needed to, she put it out into the world and all she could do now was wait for the first full listens to come in from friends and family. It was scary for Grace to even think about her siblings, even Amber, listening to an album about her. It was scarier for Taylor to think about anyone listening to her music after the torturous criticism her stellar career had been overshadowed by since she was a teenager.
"I have never been prouder of anyone in my life than I am of you, darling," Grace spoke right into her ear to make sure the message got across. She put her hands under Taylor shirt and ran them up and down her backside comfortingly as Taylor shed a few tears of relief. Grace held her close, she had to stand on her tiptoes to continue to say reassuring statements that intimately.
"I was so nervous everyone would reject it," the singer admitted, "That they would all hate me."
"The ones who reject it and hate you are not people you would want in your corner," Grace reminded her. She pulled back enough so that she could see Taylor's face and offered a gentle, warm smile, "That is something we have both learned in more ways than one over this last year."
"You're right," Taylor sniffled and shook her feelings out, "I want to wait until the run time is done before I check anything else."
"I think we should leave it for tonight. Turn our phones off and settle into bed with some chamomile tea. It will help your nerves," the brunette suggested as she ran her palms up and down Taylor's covered arms slowly.
"I might not be able to sit still," Taylor shrugged at the idea. She had the deepest desire to know what everyone was thinking about the album but then Grace made a fantastic point.
"Thinking about it and worrying about it is not going to change the reception to it. You have told me that you are so proud of that piece of your discography and not a goddamn thing they say on Tumblr or other brain rotting applications is going to make a difference. You love that album, you gave it to the world, now you should rest," Grace was nearly begging her to. She herself had not looked at the social pages, the news, she didn't want to know.
Taylor was proud of her work and whether or not the reception was good should not be allowed to change that for her.
"Do you want to play piano?" Grace asked when she did not receive a solid answer on their next steps.
"Only if you'll play with me," Taylor's face brightened at that. Grace playing was a rare thing, too hard to come by in general never mind when Taylor was actually around to hear it.
"The things I do for love."
Taylor left her phone on their desk (two desks would have been more productive but it would have ruined the layout). She walked towards the grand piano and sat on the left side of the bench. Grace sat on the right and pulled on her fingers to loosen them up. The blonde caught a whiff of that perfume that reminded her of Christmas even though the first time she had smelled it was in the spring. It was homey, Grace was that feeling for her.
"So, I'm thinking Beethoven," Grace teased as her fingers found some keys and pressed, "Do you recognize this song?"
It took Taylor a second as Grace played it, "The Lucky One."
"You must recall that night I was sobbing when I called you about this song. It is one of my favourites. For whatever reason, it felt like you had just dug into my past and put it into prettier words. The opening of floodgates, I've been an emotional wreck ever since."
"Don't blame that on me," Taylor laughed just the tiniest bit, "I suppose the lyrics do fit your former situation quite well, don't they? The lover in the foyer who didn't know you, how Michael took the money and his dignity and got the hell out. I wonder if maybe on some level, I felt you from afar."
Taylor liked the idea that everything they had gone through was designed to bring them together. Every moment, mistake, bad day, it was apart of some grand scheme the universe had set out for them. So she had to take a sledgehammer to Grace's boundaries and walls while trying to play it cool just to get to know her, in the end it had worked out. She had won the prize, the pot of gold.
"Is that like that silly theory you have about us crossing paths in every universe?" Grace chuckled. She hit the wrong key after playing the introduction to the song over and over again and just gave up.
"It's not silly! I'm a firm believer that if there are other versions of us that exist, different dimensions or whatever- that we are like, either best friends or lovers in all of them. Or just know each other in some way. Like, maybe there are other people out there that I could have worked out with. Maybe you were straight or bi and married Charles, maybe you were still a lesbian and married Charlie. In whatever universe, I still think I would know you in any room."
"I highly doubt it," Grace chuckled, although she did find the idea amusing, "Let's say there's a universe where you realized your sexuality in high school. Where would end up today?"
Taylor hummed as she thought about, "At this very moment... I probably wouldn't be as happy. I wouldn't be with you because my life would have been different. What about you? What if you hadn't realized your sexuality back when you were younger?"
Grace knit her eyebrows as she pondered the question, "Truthfully, I have no idea. You- you saved me from a very bleak life. If I had spent more time wondering why I couldn't love Charlie, I probably would have gone mad."
"Maybe we still met," Taylor proposed that idea, "Maybe we met at the very right time and fell in love. We could be just falling in love or falling in love all over again. Maybe we're married by this point in the timeline."
"Or maybe I slept with your girlfriend back when I was living life to the fullest. Maybe that is how our stories crossed," Grace giggled. Living life to fullest was an exaggeration, waking up in a bed so cold had never been as pleasant as with Taylor's hair tickling her nose or a leg pinning her down.
"You're such a pessimist," Taylor rolled her eyes with a scoff. The conversation had helped her forget all about her nervousness, the pounding of her heart had subsided as they pressed random keys on the piano.
"Fine, I will generate a happier possibility. If there is a universe where you and I met sooner, we fell in love and got married by this point in the timeline, then I think right on this very day, we would have been so happy. Not a thing in the world would overshadow this moment."
"Would we have a baby?" Taylor asked with a smile, "A baby crying would ruin the moment."
"It depends on how long we have been married."
"Is there a timeline in your head that hasn't been shared with me? Send the Google Doc, babe, I'll read it and add comments. Even pop in some baby name suggestions. What do you think about the name Robert?"
"It's quite obviously in a Microsoft Word document," Grace replied with sarcasm again, "Oh, my unfortunate estranged nephew. What an ugly name to be bestowed with."
"Are you one of those people who likes names like Apple or Solar Panel?"
"What?" Grace still hadn't caught up to that point in culture, "A name requires a deep meaning and a rich history. Your name originates from the profession which originates from the word meaning to cut. Hardly appropriate given your profession, however I understand that meaning behind it for your parents and a name rich in musical history is appropriate for you."
Taylor crinkled her nose and turned her head to the side for a moment, "You just know what my name means? Super casually, right?"
"Yes," Grace mumbled, "Some believe that my name means blessing. It is quite ironic given that I was an unwelcome addition to the family tree."
"You're a blessing to me," Taylor said and she truly meant it that night more than ever. Grace had managed to give her a few minutes of chatter that had calmed her nerves and it had led into a full-fledged, hour long conversation about the other lives they might have lived.
Taylor was insistent that in every one, she would still know Grace was the love of her life. Grace wasn't fully convinced, but mostly because she was scared that there was other versions of herself that didn't get the happy outcome she had and keeping expectations low, no matter how silly it might be, felt easier.