Y/ns POV
I didn't go to work today. My head hurt too much and John said he wouldn't be there on a Saturday anyway so I am not going in. I get off the couch I've been laying on and walk to the kitchen squinting because the sunlight makes my head pound. I see the clock says 12:03 and internally cringe that I slept so late. There's a knock at the door and I go to open it expecting Lizzie or Scarlett but it's Anna. Crap.
"Anna, what do I owe the surprise to?" I ask
"Cut the bullshit. What's going on? Are you using again?" She asks.
"Why would you ask that?"
"Y/n some random guy from a bar halfway across the world called me saying you were drunk and needed to be picked up. Now me being in new York didn't help but I'm here now. So talk." She says and I sigh.
"Come in" I say and she walks into the house. I told the blanket that's on the couch and place my pillow on top of the folded blanket before taking it to bring back upstairs. Anna puts her purse on the couch and follows me around. She follows me up stairs and into the bedroom and watches me put the blanket and pillow away. I turn around and face her sitting on my bed and she sits down at the end of it facing me.
"I'm working with olivia. She works with John, for John. She's a senior associate so no really getting out of working with her." I say and see her eyes just gloss over. She remembers how I was when I was with Olivia. I never turned to drugs when I was with her but I was just a shell of a human. Unable to function unless Olivia was around telling me what to do.
"Do you mean the same Olivia Shultz that locked you in your house and convinced you you were better off—"
"Anna don't say it" I beg cutting her off.
"Sweetheart. I told you I wanted to put her in jail and you begged me not too. Now look at you just because you've seen her again. I will not let you put yourself through that again y/n." Anna says but I don't really understand what she means.
"What do you mean?" I ask
"I remember how you were when you guys were together. You first started your internship with me at that time." She says and I start to picture it.
"You drank a lot back then and I know you were underage. I saw you getting into that woman's car a lot and noticed she was much older than you. I knew she was providing it. But I didn't speak up soon enough." She says and I start to feel my throat close in a little.
"What I didn't know was all the bullshit she put you through until after we had that talk when she showed up at the office. And what she did wasn't right honey." She says and I get a flashback from the day at the office.
*flashback*
I glance at the clock for the 100th time today. My phone won't stop vibrating in my purse and I can't look at the awful words my girlfriend is calling me right now. All because I had dinner with a few girls from work including Anna, my boss. It was only for court prep. I even brought her home a meal and left before they ordered dessert.
I try to focus on the court prep papers that are infront of me since tomorrow I will be shadowing in Court finally but I can't concentrate because I hear yelling. I glance up from my small cubicle and it's located in the back of the office so I head down the hallway to see where the yelling is coming from.
I make it to the main room and freeze seeing Olivia standing there screaming at Alyssa the receptionist. "IM HERE TO SEE ANNA FUCKING COTOUR SO GET HER OUT HERE" Olivia screams.
"Liv what are you doing here?" I rush over the stand inbetween her and the front desk so she will back off Alyssa a bit.
"Don't Liv me. I want to talk to the bitch your sleeping with. Or maybe it's this bitch behind you that you're guarding?"
"Woah I'm no—"
"Alyssa I'm sorry can you call Tommy" I say begging she calls security.
"What's going on out here?" I hear and turn to see Anna standing there with her hands on her hips.
"I need to speak to Anna Cotour" Olivia screams right in my ear.
"I'm her. Can I help y-"
"You're the bitch sleeping with my fiancé" she screams again and now I take a step back. We are not engaged.
"Excuse me!?" Anna says and laughs.
"You kept her out all night last night and other nights too." Olivia says and she makes no sense at all. I literally always tell her where I am and who I'm with and usually I'm here or home. I get out of here at 4 and I'm home by 4:30 texting or calling her the entire way.
"Liv let's go. You're causing a scene for absolutely no reason. She is my boss and that is it." I yell grabbing her and pushing the button for the elevator to come up.
"No you can't just expect me to not confront the person who's ruining our marriage." She yells at me
"We're not married, not engaged. And you need to leave." I say calmly and the elevator doors open.
I push her inside and then step out watching her face pull several different ones.
"You're not coming." She asks
"I'm done Liv. This has to stop." I say and I'm so fucking embarrassed to be doing this here infront of my boss.
"If you don't come with me I'll—"
"I'd refrain from whatever your about to say because if it comes out in anyway close to a threat I'll have you arrested right now." Anna says cutting her off. Stepping up right behind me.
Olivia laughs before I step back letting the doors close to which she yells "I should've known"
*flashback over*
Anna's the one who explained to me the things she was doing was not healthy and it didn't mean she loved me. How having to text her every hour, or send pictures of what I was wearing each day was not healthy. How cutting off all my friends or openly flirting with my friends infront of me was not okay. And especially when she would make me take shots with her and I'd wake up naked in the living room alone.
"Anna I'm not sure what to do. Every time I see her I just want to drown my feelings in alcohol. I can't even bring myself to tell scar because I can't take seeing her look at me with pity, or worst. Disgust."
"She wouldn't look at you like that. She loves you and cares for you but she just wants to help you y/n. You need to talk to her." She says
"I know I do. I've tried calling all night but she didn't answer."
"She's with Lizzie. Go to her. Fix this before you fall back into that deep hole."
"Can you drive me to Liz's?" She shakes her head no
"I have meetings to get to. Call me later ok?" She says before exiting my bedroom.
I guess I have to put on my big girl pants and stop being a little douche.
I take a shower and put on jeans and a nice top. On the way to Lizzie's I buy coffee and a bunch of flowers and a stuffed animal for Rose even though I know she's not here. When I pull up to Lizzie's gate I realize it's not unlocked so I have to be buzzed in. I hit the buzzer waiting for an answer.
"Hello?"
"Liz can I come in please?"
"I don't think so y/n. Scarlett's pretty mad."
"Please. I need to explain everything" I say and then silence. But then I hear the buzzer go off and the gate opens slowly. I park next to Scarlett's car and grab everything I brought with me and walk up to the front door.
I knock twice and the door swings open to Scarlett looking as beautiful as ever. Her hair is tied up with a clip and she has her glasses on. Her eyes look puffy though and there's a red ring around them telling me she's been crying.
"Hi" I softly say
"Hi" she says back just as soft
"These are for you" I say holding up the biggest bouquet of flower I bought.
"Do you want to come in?" She asks grabbing the bouquet.
"Sure" I say and cautiously walk inside. I see Flo and Lizzie sitting in her kitchen. It's a little ways from the front door but I know they can see me.
"Hi guys" I say and get "hey" "hi y/n" back
I walk further into Lizzie's house following her to the kitchen where the girls are. I place the coffee on the center island and then hand Lizzie and Flo a bouquet of flowers each.
"That's for taking care of my wife the last couple of days" I say and earn small smiles from them
"Y/n" scar tries to say but I cut her off
"If I may, I'd like to explain something to you all. It's no surprise I've been acting different and I know you all notice." I say and look around seeing them looking at me nodding to continue. "I had an ex, when I was younger..18..and uh she wasn't the best to me. I shouldn't have been involved with her in the first place and her position made me feel trapped. She really fucked with my mind and almost made me...." I pause unable to confess I almost took my own life.
I feel a hand on my back and look over seeing a Scarlett holding me close to her. She doesn't seem angry.
"It just wasn't a good time. And..well, it turns out I'm working with her." I say and hear the gasps come out of their mouths.
"Why didn't you just tell me that?" Scarlett asks
"I was ashamed I was feeling this way over an ex. I was worried you be mad or even tell me to quit. I thought I'd look insane acting this way but turns out I'm not the best at hiding things." I say lowly
"Baby I would never force you to do anything. But it can't be easy dealing with this alone and not being able to talk to anyone. I always want you to come to me. Even if you think I don't want to hear it." She says but I can't bring myself to look at her.
"I think I need help." I say finally looking up at her. She has this smile on her face, like she's proud I said that.
"I'm glad you can finally admit that." She says
"But I don't know where to start." I say
"I have a great therapist y/n." Lizzie chimes in.
"He will asses you first and then provide a session for calming tactics and even prescribe medicine if he thinks you need it" she says and I look over at scar.
"Could you make me an appointment" I say to scar
"Sure I can baby." She says and pulls me in for a hug. The second her arms are around me I burst into tears. Feeling all my emotions release from me unable to control them. "I'm so sorry. So so sorry." I cry into her. She rubs my back and hair and tells me it's okay for a while until I wake up in her lap on the couch.
How did I get over here? I sit up and realize I've woken her up too and sheepishly say "sorry for waking you"
"Hey it's okay, I didn't want to leave you alone on the couch" scar says snuggling into my side.
"We were able to make you an appointment for later today. 5pm." She says and my heart drops. I almost forgot about that.
"O-okay" I say and she rubs my cheek.
"I'll go with you. I'll wait in the waiting room and everything" she says I'm so grateful she did.
"Please. I'm a little nervous."
"Of course baby. I'll always have your back." She says and I lean my head on hers.
After helping Lizzie in the garden and then helping them all cook an early dinner it is finally time to head to the therapists office. I'm anxious on the drive and Scarlett's hand stops my leg from bouncing a few times but it distracts me every time she touches me so I'm grateful for that.
I notice we stop infront of what looks like a house. She walks me to the door and I look at her confused. "She has an office in her house" Scarlett says to me explaining where we are. I nod understanding now. A minute later the door opens and an older short woman with blondish hair with gray streaks running through it and glasses with that beaded necklace hanging from them comes out.
"Hello! Which of you is y/n?" She says
"That'd be me!" I say
"Wonderful. Welcome, come in. You can wait to the left and y/n my office is to the right." She says pointing. "I'm going to grab some water" she says disappearing.
"I'm right here baby" Scarlett says kissing my cheek and going to sit on the couch. I enter her office and sit on the large blue chair. The lady walks in a minute later and sets the water down. "I'm Melanie, shall we begin?"
*time skip (I'm sorry I can't think of a therapist convo right now)*
I walk out of her office to see Scarlett look up at me from the book she's reading. The clock only says 6:02 so I know it hasn't been long but it definitely felt longer than that. She doesn't say anything but holds my hand when exiting and opens the door for me to get into the car. Once inside and on the road I open my mouth "can we stop at the pharmacy on sunset?" I ask
"Sure" she says no questions asked.
"She wants me to try some medication. An anti-anxiety and anti- depression" I say and I feel the tears brewing. I always had this mindset that people on meds are crazy and if I had to be on them that meant I was crazy too. So these emotions I'm feeling are just a little overwhelming.
"That's okay. How are you feeling about that?" She asks like the wonderful caring woman she is.
"Ashamed."
"Baby, there's nothing to be ashamed about. I'm pretty sure everyone I've ever know has been on anti anxiety or antidepressants as least once in their life. Some people stay on them forever and some can learn to navigate without them eventually."
"I just always thought it meant I was crazy."
"No baby. Never that. Hopefully it will help you get all those thoughts out of your head and you'll be able to enjoy life again." She says. "I want you to be the best version of yourself, for Rose to look up to, and our future children, because they are going to have the best mom who's going to be around for a long long time." She says with such love I can feel it.
"Thank you" I say grabbing her hand and squeezing it.
"Always baby" she says grabbing my hand and kissing it before placing it in her lap so she can hold the steering wheel with both hands.
We stop at the pharmacy and she comes inside with me with her little disguise on. She holds my hand the whole time and waits on line with me as well. She grabs a couple chocolate bars before we step up to pay for the prescriptions that Melanie already called in for me.
"You like York peppermint Pattie's?" I ask once we get back in the car.
"Hell yeah! You don't?" She asks and I guess I made a funny face because she bursts out laughing at me. "I'll take that as a no." She says and pulls off.
Gosh I love her laugh.
We arrive back home quickly and I go into the kitchen to place my two pill bottles by the coffee machines. I usually go there first thing in the morning anyway so then I will remember to take them.
"Is it alright if I order some Chinese and we can eat it in the bath?" Scarlett asks from the middle of the room. I look up at her leaning against the table and fuck she is so beautiful. Her arm muscle bulging from leaning and her hips look so perfect leaning on an angle like that. I walk closer to her and finally place my hands on her hips pinning her between the table and me. "That actually sounds amazing."
"What would you like to eat?" She asks
"Hop up on this table and spread your legs." I say and she lightly slaps my chest while laughing.
"I'm serious baby"
"LoMein is fine. Ooooh get crab Rangoons too please!" I say
"Sure baby, can you start the bath?" She asks
"Anything for you." I say before kissing her sweet full lips. Her hands tangle in my hair pulling us deeper into the kiss making the hair on my skin stand. She kisses me tenderly moving her lips against mine like a beautiful symphony. We pull away only because air becomes a problem and stare at each other smiling.
"I love you il mio tutto" I say backing away so I can go start the bath.
"I love you always"
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We're coming around finally!!
I think I'm going to time skip a bit because I want Lizzies pregnancy to progress, to set up feelings and thoughts about their own family making!