Rain pattered gently against the window, October rain and the autumn chill definitely calling for sweater weather. Clad in a knitted jumper, Taylor fiddled with a song, plucking guitar strings and humming in an attempt to get it just right. She'd felt inspired as of late, even despite the negative emotions she'd felt, but the conversation she'd had with Karlie the day before had sparked something inside her.
The general idea of the song had, if she was being honest, been born when she still lived with Dianna, but recent events had inspired her to try again and let it be seen in a new light. She strummed softly, figuring out the chords as she went along.
"Put your lips close to mine, as long as they don't touch," she sang warmly. A part of her would always think of Dianna whenever she worked on the song, but maybe that's what she needed to get closure. Now, though, she could only think of Karlie whenever she wrote lyrics or strummed her guitar. For better or for worse, Karlie seemed to inspire her in a way that Dianna never had. It was almost as if Karlie somehow fit into the lyrics she'd already written. "Out of focus, eye to eye 'til the gravity's too much. And I'll do anything you say if you say it with your hands. And I'd be smart to walk away," she closed her eyes, imagining a familiar pair of green pools, "but you're quicksand."
She stopped strumming and clicked her tongue. That was the lyric. She'd tried different rhymes before; right-hand, island, last stand. Quicksand was the best, and she wasn't even sure why it had come out of her mouth, but it was true. Taylor was trapped in her feelings, and the more she tried to stop, the more she fell. Quicksand. She took her pen and scribbled the new lyric in her notebook, happy to have at least resolved the first verse. She kept strumming, playing through the chorus she had long since worked out. It was short but effective.
"I can't decide if it's a choice getting swept away. I hear the sound of my own voice, begging you to stay." She paused, not happy with how that sounded. Begging was too desperate, and this song wasn't the right place for that. "Asking you to stay. All we are is skin and bone, forced to be alone. Forever swimming with the flow, but you're friction."
She paused again, once again dissatisfied with how that sounded, but Taylor wasn't quite sure how to fix it. She sighed and strummed lazily, playing with chords as she thought. Her fingers plucked the strings as she hummed the song from the beginning, reading over her first draft lyrics of the full song.
Taylor furrowed her eyebrows and put the guitar to the side. She picked up her phone and looked at the time. It was nearly eight and the sun was setting, its last crepuscular lights bathing the city in a beautiful, stormy weathered hue. She looked out the window at the darkened city streets, wet with rain water yet still full of people with umbrellas.
She wondered how Karlie was doing. Taylor wriggled on top of her bed, knowing that Karlie had gone to see Josh to do something incredibly difficult. And for what? For her? It sounded like a perfect idea last night in the heat of the moment when she could still feel the tingle in her entire body from having Karlie's lips on hers, but now she just felt... guilty.
Guilty and tingly, because she kissed Karlie.
Or more accurately, Karlie kissed her but that was a matter of semantics. It only happened because Taylor tried to kiss her while drunk in the first place. The Almost Kiss, as Karlie called it. Taylor couldn't believe how much she let that upset her, especially since it ended well.
All's well that ends well, Taylor mused, though she couldn't get the uneasy feeling of guilt out from the pit of her stomach. Did that mean that she and Karlie would be together? They both admitted feelings for each other and even if it was just the right thing to do, Karlie had decided to end things with her boyfriend. But that was all because of Taylor. So, would they date now? Or would it be a more casual thing? Or would it be nothing at all?
They'd just have to talk about it when Karlie got back. Which Taylor assumed should be any moment since she had already been gone for an hour. She hoped it went well for the both of them.
Taylor combed her fingers through her frizzy hair, not helped by the rain's humidity, and rubbed her eyes under her glasses. She groaned, because now she couldn't focus on her song, and leaned back on the bed, putting the guitar on her chest once more, if only to play random notes and distract herself while watching the colours of the sky change and the rain splash against the window.
She lay there for another few minutes before the ringing of her phone brought her back to reality. Taylor searched for her phone with her hand, eventually brushing her fingers against it, and bringing it to her eye level. She squinted in confusion as she picked up. "Cara?"
"Hey, Taylor," Cara greeted quickly. "Hey, uh, I know it's raining but... Can you come get Karlie? She, uh, well, she showed up at my place sopping wet and scraped up and she won't tell me what happened. I tried calling Josh, but he won't pick up."
Taylor sat up straight immediately, adjusting her glasses and yelling, "What?! Is she okay? What happened?"
"I think she got into an accident, but the bike is fine and so is she, so I don't think it was anything serious. Just shit weather." Cara paused and the phone rustled. She said something inaudibly before pausing again, the noise returning. "She knows I'm talking to you. She says you shouldn't come."
"I'm going to."
"I know. I'll send you my address."
"Okay. No problem, I'll be there as soon as possible," Taylor responded without an ounce of hesitation. She was already changing her pajama pants into jeans as she hopped on one leg, the phone pressed between her shoulder and her ear.
"Thanks, Taylor," Cara whispered. "I'm sorry to make you do this."
"Don't be. I'd do it again and again."
Taylor hung up the phone and stuffed it into the purse closest to her. It was a simple gray handbag that honestly did not match what she was wearing, but nothing about the outfit matched anyway. She slipped into her Converse and barely tied them before grabbing an umbrella and practically running out the door.
She bodied through the main door of the building, struggling to open the umbrella as she walked with purpose down the street. Rain felt like a freezing assault on her as her clothes stuck to her body, the umbrella proving useless as it failed to open. Cursing under her breath, Taylor finally managed to get it open and block some of the rain. She splashed through puddles, loosely remembering the way to Cara's home. She glanced at her phone with the directions open, satisfied she was going the right way, and trudged through.
Finally, finally, she reached Cara's house. She ran up the steps two at a time and knocked. Almost instantly, Cara opened the door and motioned for Taylor to come in. "Hey, she's in the living room. I didn't want her going home in the rain after wiping out, especially since she's all worked up."
Taylor nodded and dropped her umbrella, fast-walking through the house to the living room where, just as Cara said, Karlie sat on the couch, covered in a blanket. Her hair was still wet against her head and her eyes were red and puffy. She dragged her gaze to Taylor, who ran to sit next to her.
"Karlie! I was worried about you," Taylor whispered, wrapping an arm around Karlie's shoulders. She rubbed her other hand against Karlie's arms, trying to bring her warmth.
"Are you insane?" Karlie said quietly. "Why'd you come? It's raining."
"I don't care about that," Taylor assured her with a faint trace of a laugh. "Cara said you were hurt."
"I'm fine," Karlie promised. "I had my jacket and gloves on. And my helmet. I just slid out on an empty road and scraped my leg. Not a big deal."
Taylor nodded, wiping water from her brow. She slicked back her hair and leaned into Karlie. "I'm glad it wasn't anything serious."
"Just a paint job," Karlie joked, a weak smile toying with her lips. "And some jeans."
From behind, Cara cleared her throat. Taylor turned to look at the girl leaning against the doorframe. "Sorry to interrupt this moment, but Taylor, how about you change your clothes? I'll lend you something so you don't get sick." She raised her eyebrows ever so slightly and motioned with her head toward where Taylor assumed were the bedrooms.
Picking up the hint, Taylor nodded. She turned to Karlie and smiled. "I'll be right back, Kar." Karlie didn't say anything but nodded slightly. Taylor stood and followed Cara to her bedroom, where she closed the door gently behind them.
"Okay, first of all, you look insanely adorable with glasses. And second, I'm being completely serious about getting you into something that isn't soaked," Cara started. She threw a towel at Taylor. "Dry off a bit. I'll find something that'll fit. You and Karlie are both, like, super tall." She snorted and opened her wardrobe. "I'll do my best."
"Thank you," Taylor responded, ruffling her hair with the towel and doing her best to dry her glasses with it. She shook out her hair, which she could already tell was curling up in its semi-wet state. She took off her sweater and frowned at how sticky everything felt clinging to her. "Where should I put this?"
"Oh, just leave it in that basket in the corner," Cara said, her back turned to Taylor. The room was quite large but very neat. Posters decorated the walls, but other than that, it was very minimalistic. She turned around with her arms full of clothes. "I'll put it all in the dryer lat—oh my God," she said, her lips turning up into an almost devilish grin. "Your hair! Taylor, I didn't know your hair wasn't just straight!"
Taylor blushed and toyed with the ends of her damp hair. "Oh, yeah, I like it better straight," she explained meekly.
"I'd kill for hair like yours," Cara told her as she handed the blonde a T-shirt, a hoodie, and some gray sweatpants. "Hope it fits. The sweatpants are the only things that would probably be long enough for your legs."
With a slight laugh, Taylor thanked Cara and grabbed the clothes. She turned around and took her wet shirt off, cringing at how it clung to her body, before yelping and turning her head. "Oh my God, I'm sorry I should have asked if I could change right here."
Cara waved her hand, making sure to look at the ceiling as she did. "It's fine, we're all girls here."
"Okay," Taylor responded, getting back to the task at hand. She hadn't realized how cold she was until she caught herself shivering, so she quickly dried down as best as she could with the towel, then threw on the shirt and the sweater on top. She then moved her arms inside the sleeves and carefully wiggled out of her wet bra, deciding that she didn't have to put Cara through such a show.
Then, she did the same with her pants and socks, though it was much harder to get wet denim off of her. Once she dried off and slipped into the sweatpants, which were slightly baggy even on her, she sighed in relief as the warmth started taking effect. Taylor threw her wet pile of clothes into the basket as Cara instructed, then turned to her friend and made her way to the door.
Before she could get there, though, Cara put her hand on Taylor's shoulder. "Wait, before we go back to Karlie, could I ask you something?"
Confused, Taylor tilted her head. "Sure."
"Karlie told me about The Almost Kiss," she started, making air quotes with her fingers. "Does that have anything to do with... well?" She gestured to the wall in the direction of the living room.
Sighing, Taylor shrugged. Honestly, she was surprised Cara took so long to bring it up. "Probably. I, uh, I don't know what she's told you, but she was out because she went to break up with Josh."
Cara snorted. "Jeez, about time."
"What do you mean?"
"I just don't like him," Cara explained. "And he never liked me. But that must suck for her. I'm guessing something happened between you two?"
The blonde nodded, adjusting her glasses. "She, um, she kissed me yesterday. Which is why she had to end things with Josh. I guess she realized that it wouldn't work out with them."
Cara's jaw dropped in a wide smile. "Holy shit. I know I shouldn't be celebrating her breaking up with Josh but... Wow. I really thought things were gonna be rocky between you two after you got back from your walk at the party and you got wasted and cried."
Taylor furrowed her eyebrows. "I don't remember that!" Now that she thought about it, though, there were some lapses in her memory from that night. She remembered feeling embarrassed and drinking some whiskey on ice on a couch surrounded by people, but she didn't remember crying.
"Aw, you're a sad drunk," Cara teased. She winked and stuck her tongue out before adding, "Okay, one last thing. Are you and Karlie, like, together now?"
That was a question that Taylor wasn't sure how to answer. Was that what Karlie wanted? Was that what she wanted? If her experience with Dianna was any indication as to how dating your roommate might go, then maybe it would be for the best if they stayed friends, but... God, Taylor wanted nothing more than to call Karlie hers. "I don't know. We haven't talked about it, and I'm sure she'll need time to get over Josh even if she does have feelings for me."
"Makes sense," Cara said with a nod. "But trust me, she's head over heels for you. Karlie talks about you, like, all the time."
Blushing, Taylor smiled. She followed Cara, who wordlessly exited the room. Mostly dry and warming up, Taylor steeled herself for what would inevitably happen. She and Karlie would need to talk about their... whatever you could call it, but before that could even happen, she knew Karlie had to talk about what happened.
Once Karlie was back in view, fidgeting with her blanket and watching some sitcom on TV that Taylor didn't recognize, Taylor glanced at Cara, who nodded and approached Karlie. She sat next to the taller girl slowly, smiling as they made eye contact. Karlie's hair clung to her head, but it too dried slowly, and her eyes lit up once they fell on Taylor. It broke Taylor's heart to see the usually energetic girl so downtrodden.
"Hey, Kar," Taylor whispered, inching a little closer to Karlie, who opened her arm. Without hesitation, Taylor filled the space and curled up next to Karlie under the blanket. Cara sat on the armchair next to the couch, crossing her legs beneath her and giving Karlie a patient nod.
The other girl shuddered and gave the hint of a smile. "Your feet are cold."
Taylor rolled her eyes. "Get used to it."
"You look really cute," Karlie added, admiring Taylor in her extremely formal dress. "Curly hair and glasses..."
Once again, Taylor found herself blushing at her appearance being pointed out, mostly because she couldn't understand the appeal. "Yeah, the rain made my hair frizz up... And I honestly just forgot to put on my contacts before I left," she admitted with a laugh, hugging her arms around Karlie. "How are you feeling?"
Karlie melted into Taylor's grasp. Somehow, she felt so small in Taylor's arms. "Like shit."
Cara interjected, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really," Karlie sighed, "but I think I have to."
Taylor nodded, tightening her hold on Karlie ever so slightly in encouragement. Karlie revealed how she had shown up to Josh's apartment earlier in the day expecting something casual. She told Taylor about the argument, fighting back tears as she relived the frustration and anger. She shook in Taylor's arms.
"I don't know why I got so angry," Karlie muttered. She frowned and shook her head. "I threw things at him, Taylor. I've never done that. I've yelled at him before, but I've never thrown things at him."
Taylor caressed Karlie's hair, trying to soothe her. "I'm sorry that happened. But he was out of line."
"So was I," Karlie pointed out plainly. "I felt awful after I left, I cried the entire way back to my bike. I didn't even notice the rain until it got too heavy. I tried to go for a ride to clear my head, down a calm part of the city, but I hydroplaned and the next thing I knew I was sliding down the street."
"Karlie, I think I can explain why you got so worked up," Cara offered.
Taylor and Karlie both turned to glance at Cara, who rubbed her hands together. "What are you thinking?" Karlie asked.
"Well, you've been off smoking for, what, two weeks now?" Cara asked. "'Cause of the piercings?"
Karlie nodded. "Yeah." Her eyes widened in realization, then she shut them tight and snorted in annoyance. "Withdrawals. Right. God, I really need a smoke."
"Happened to me too when I got my snake bites," Cara added. She reached forward and patted Karlie's leg. "Except I punched a guy at a party," she pointed out with a grin. "Stupid bastard."
"Oh yeah, I remember that," Karlie laughed. "He totally deserved it, though. But Josh didn't deserve any of what happened. I'm always so short with him, but I didn't mean to get that mad at him. It just took things farther than they should have gone."
"How'd you get here, then?" Taylor asked. She felt terrible about what happened, but she didn't want to dwell on it. For Karlie's sake.
Karlie shrugged. "I just got up and rode here. I couldn't tell anything was wrong, really. I just felt spent and empty. All I knew was that I had to get the bike back here." She frowned and ducked her head. "It wasn't until Cara asked me what happened that I realized how it must have looked. My legs were all bloodied and I had clearly been crying, drenched in rain, and with my bike all scraped up."
"Babe, I thought you were in shock." Cara chuckled awkwardly. "It looked a lot worse than it was."
The three of them went silent, neither one knowing how to continue the conversation. Taylor kept her eyes closed, listening to Karlie's breathing. She rested her head on Karlie's shoulder, dropping her arms. Beneath the covers, Karlie's hand searched for Taylor's, and once they found each other, fingers intertwined as if it were the most natural of things. For Taylor, it felt like it. They'd held hands before, but never like this.
The television played softly in the background, while rain continued to fill the space in the air. It was impossible to move. Taylor's breathing synced with Karlie's, their heads resting on each other, and their hands connected, she felt as though she and Karlie had become one being.
She sighed slowly, squeezing Karlie's hand softly. Whatever shitshow was in store for them, that could wait at least one more minute. And another. And if it couldn't, then Taylor would wait as long as it took for it to end and for them to start, whatever that meant.
"You two are so cute," Cara whispered.
Karlie groaned and threw a pillow at Cara.
Well, so much for the hand-holding.
Taylor laughed anyway, and when Karlie joined in, she swore it was the best sound she'd ever heard.
*~~~*~~~*
Once the rain had stopped right around midnight, and the trio finished playing their game of Uno, Karlie and Taylor decided it was probably high time to head home.
"I'll drop by your clothes tomorrow," Cara told them as they prepared for the walk home.
They both nodded and said their thanks. Karlie winced every time she stepped, but she promised she'd be okay, though Taylor couldn't help but worry.
With a wave goodbye and promises to text when they got home safe, Karlie and Taylor left together. The brisk autumn night air practically slapped Taylor, and her face instantly flushed with the cold. She put on the hood on Cara's sweater and gritted her teeth, digging her hands deep inside the pockets.
Karlie also seemed a bit taken aback by the cold, but she recovered swiftly, even smiling a bit as she admired the city skies. Taylor tried to follow her gaze but ended up staring at Karlie instead, a warm smile stuck on her face. She still couldn't decide what colour her eyes were, and in the dark, they just seemed like a mix of blues and greens.
"Wait up, Kar," Taylor giggled as Karlie sped up the pace. "How are you still faster than me? You're limping."
"You're just slow," Karlie teased, sticking her tongue out at Taylor. "I've fallen plenty of times while riding. It's literally just a scratch."
"That does not make me feel better, Karlie Kloss!"
"I like it when you say my name," Karlie responded with a grin. "Taylor Swift."
Taylor smirked and caught up to Karlie, wrapping a hand around her torso. "Goosebumps."
The taller girl laughed and slowed down, letting Taylor hold on to her. Under the moonlight, everything was serene, even among the constant city noise and walking traffic. The air smelled like rain, a scent that was forever nostalgic. Taylor wished she could make this moment last forever.
Karlie bumped into Taylor playfully as they walked, before taking in a breath. "I'm sorry you came all this way in the rain."
"It's okay," Taylor reassured, stepping over a crack in the sidewalk. "I wouldn't hesitate to do it again."
"You're so sweet."
They walked in silence for a bit. The cool air didn't feel so cold when Taylor stayed next to Karlie. It was as if her body was aflame from the inside out. A comfortable feeling, though. Even despite the events of that day.
Taylor retracted her arm from Karlie's waist and slowly dragged it down Karlie's arm, cupping her hand around Karlie's. She heard Karlie slightly shudder, which made Taylor grin. "Is this okay?" she asked, because suddenly holding hands felt a lot more intimate than it had before.
Karlie nodded, slightly squeezing Taylor's hand in affirmation. "More than okay."
*~~~*~~~*
A/N: Hey y'all thanks for reading and commenting! I meant to upload this earlier today but I got hit with a nasty case of... something. Probably stomach flu. I'm actually fighting for my life right now but I figured I should probably update. I'm not like extremely happy with this one but hey! That's okay, I hope you guys enjoyed it :)