Yeji pressed me against the wall and kissed me, her fingers digging into my hips. I pulled away when I was completely out of breath and pushed her back by the shoulders.
"Yeji."
"Hm?"
"They're not really, they're not scars from self-injury."
"What?"
"They were... I slipped in the bathroom while shaving and accidentally cut myself. Nothing serious."
She stared at me, taking a step back.
"Fuck you!"
"Why are you overreacting?" I asked and she ran a hand through her hair.
"You scared me!"
"It's cute when you get really mad and your face looks like an angry kitten, your temple. It's weird."
"No! Don't do this."
"Do what?"
"Trying to get away with calling me cute and stuff."
"I don't understand why you're so mad about this Yeji, I mean, you cut yourself all the time!"
"Yeah, but I-I deserve it, you don't." I rolled my eyes. "And don't try to change the subject. I'm still mad."
"No, you're not." I said and smiled at her, baring my teeth.
"Stop." I made the goat face and she rolled her eyes. "You look stupid."
I arched my eyebrows and she covered my face with her hand. I licked her palm and she pulled her hand away, grimacing in disgust, before she pulled me to her and leaned in to kiss me.
"EW!" I stepped back to see Niki standing by the door, clutching the doorknob. "Mom said desert is ready."
"Okay, okay, I'm coming." Yeji laughed and Niki smiled broadly at me, before following her sister inside.
I stared at the closed door, before sighing and going inside as well.
***
Finally, the last day of 2015 arrived. And with it also came the last day I was in the dorm.
I had no idea where to stay and my mother told me she wouldn't pay me anything because I caused it myself. So there goes that.
The dean arrived around noon, just before Chaer and I were getting ready to leave the dorm to meet up with the rest of our group.
He reminded me that he was going to check tomorrow night to see if I had actually left the dorm, and I assured him that I would be gone by then. Where exactly? I had no idea.
"You should tell the others" Chaer suggested as we walked toward the fraternity house. The streets were unusually deserted.
"So they can take pity on me? I'd rather not."
"No, but maybe you'd like it, crashing on someone's floor."
"And who exactly has an apartment?"
"As far as I know, Jake has one maybe you can have a room with him?"
"Yes, but he usually stays at the fraternity house. And I don't think I'd be allowed to sleep on the couch, thank you very much."
"Um, actually, you could sleep in the fraternity house. Ryan did while his dorm was 'off duty'."
"He was part of the team."
"He's a mascot, you're a cheerleader," She said and I shrugged.
"I don't know, I'll just...I'll tell them, okay? Later, when I'm drunk enough not to care and they'll be drunk enough not to remember."
James and Yeji were already at the house, with two cars full of people waiting for us and blasting Arctic Monkeys so the whole campus could hear.
"Finally!" Yeji yelled and honked and Justin opened the back seat door.
"Ryan is in the other truck." Yuna said and Chaeryeong smiled, before disappearing.
I sat in the back with Yuna and Ning, on Justin's lap. Soph was in the front seat, talking to Yeji.
We arrived at Chris and Seungmin's hotel forty minutes later and settled into the suite fairly quickly.
The girls took the bedroom with the king size bed and the boys settled in the small extra bedroom.
"So, who do you think you'll be able to kiss at midnight?" Yuna asked Soph and me, as we prepared to go to Times Square.
"Yeji" Soph said and Yuna shot me a look through the rearview mirror.
"And you, Ryu?"
"Oh, I think Jake? We agreed-"
"I think you should kiss Justin," Chaeryeong said and I arched an eyebrow.
"Why?"
"Because he likes you and you two would be cute together."
I rolled my eyes and finished applying the eyeliner, before getting up from the chair and telling them we had to hurry.
I sat down on the couch next to Yeji. The guys were watching the New Year's movie with Ashton Kutcher while drinking something from the mini-fridge.
She kept checking her phone, so I asked her what was going on.
"We should go soon, it's almost seven o'clock... If we want to get a decent place, we have to go."
"Calm down."
She stared at me for a moment, before looking at her watch again. The girls left the room three minutes later, and then we all walked down the hall to put on our coats and finally get going.
Yeji handed me her red hoodie that I liked and I looked at it in confusion.
"What?"
"You're going to be cold, you should also get something to cover your ears."
I accepted it and put it on, before zipping up the parka. She ran a hand through her hair before placing the cap on her head. She checked her phone one more time, and Chris opened the door, signaling us to finally get out.
"Hey, Yeji I-" I started, but she interrupted me by kissing me.
Before I could register what was happening, she pulled away and sped up to catch up to Soph. I watched her back as she walked with Jake.
I got a text message from Giselle when we were in the elevator, wishing me a Happy New Year, and realized it was already 2016 in Korea.
Wait, Yeji kissed me at exactly this time because it was already midnight in Korea?
I didn't speak until we got to Times Square, pretty close to the stage in the middle.
"This is going to be VERY cool!"
Yuna said excitedly and that's when I knew it was going to be a long five hours until midnight.
Not to mention it was freezing cold and I had nothing to cover my ears with. Unbelievable.
The first two hours weren't so bad, because Miley Cyrus performed and Ryan Seacrest was trying to make good jokes.
"Oh my god, I think I'm going to pass out from the cold." I said to Jake and he laughed, putting an arm around my shoulder.
"And I was right, again."
I turned my head to see Yeji standing next to me. She took off her cap and placed it on my head.
"Thank you." I said.
Even though people always made fun of Yeji for being dumb and failing her last year of school, she was actually smart and strangely always right.
"Oh, and just for you, I won't smoke for the rest of the year. I promise." She said.
For a moment, I was happy, but then I remembered that there are about two hours left in the year and I rolled my eyes.
The next two hours also went by quickly, with Macklemore performing and giving a speech about equality.
"Fifteen more minutes!" Yuna yelled and handed us all some hot chocolate from a nearby stand.
"Finally, we can get back to the heat."
"Hey babe, sorry, but I actually found a guy I'm going to make out with tonight." Jake told me and I turned to him in surprise, following his pointed finger.
I pouted and he shrugged, before leaving me and walking towards said guy.
"Great." I muttered and looked around, why was i making such a big deal out of this?
"You're not going to die if you don't get a midnight kiss, you know?" Yeji said coming over to stand in front of me.
"I'm nineteen years old and I've never kissed anyone at midnight."
"What about Soobin?" She asked.
"He always went with his parents."
Yeji then turned away from me and struck up a conversation with Soph, so I ended up talking to Justin.
He kept showing off his dimples and smiling and laughing he was so cute.
The ball slowly started to come down as we were one minute away from midnight, and I was so excited to finally see it in person. Two years ago I was just dreaming about it and staying up to watch it on TV, but now here I was, watching it live, with my friends and a very cute guy standing next to me.
"Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four!"
I bit my lip and saw Ning gripping Yuna's hips tighter, James putting an arm around Zayn's slender shoulder, Chris wrapping his arm around Seungmin's small waist, Ryan moving closer to Chaeryeong and Yeji tangling her hand in Soph's hair.
"Two! ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
The whole square was cheering and I found myself drawn to Justin's chest, his soft, sweet lips on mine. He smelled amazing and was a great kisser, so who was I to walk away?
It was when I heard Ning whistling next to us, that I pulled away and licked my lips. Justin shot me a dimple and I smiled.
"What's going on here?" Soph asked in a suggestive tone.
I shrugged my shoulders. "Nothing."
"Just two friends making out." Justin added and I nodded in agreement.
"Well, thank fuck, can we go back to our apartment and get drunk?" Seungmin asked loudly, making everyone laugh.
"Have a little patience, baby." Chris told him and put a hand on his shoulder.
We made it out of the mass of people half an hour later, and after they bought enough alcohol for a whole week, we were finally in the suite, with the music blaring.
The balcony door was open and Jake was "smoking" with his toy boy, so everyone who wanted to smoke had to smoke inside, which caused the air to fill with smoke. Not that anyone minded, really, because each and every one of us was at least drunk.
I was leaning against the wall, an hour and a half into the party, drinking a mug of beer. I was definitely the most sober in the entire suite.
I averted my eyes from James and Zayn, who were very close to having sex on the couch, and focused on Justin, who was coming towards me.
I smiled at him as he stopped right in front of me, our chests almost touching.
"Hi." He said and took the cup from my hand, bringing it to his lips.
"Hey."
"Are you bored?"
I shrugged. "No, not really."
He stared at me for a moment before saying, "I really want to kiss you." I bit my lip, quickly trying to make a sexy comment.
"Okay." It was the only thing that came to my mind, and it seemed to be okay with him, because he leaned in and kissed me.
It tasted like alcohol and chocolate, which wasn't my favorite combination, but it didn't really bother me.
His hands tangled in my hair and he pulled me closer, tilting his head to the right. We pulled away immediately a minute later, when we were both breathless and our lips were red and wet.
"I need to- Excuse me." He said and covered his mouth with his palm before running off.
"Great." I muttered and looked around the room.
The music was still playing on the iDock Yeji had brought with her, but no one was dancing anymore. Everyone was passed out (or asleep) on the couch or on the floor.
I also checked the balcony and saw Yeji leaning against the wall, smoking a cigarette.
"Don't look at me like that, I haven't smoked since last year!"
"Enough with the New Year's jokes." I said and she threw her cigarette over the railing.
"So you like the pledge or something?" She asked and I frowned.
"No?"
"Then why did you kiss him?"
"You like all the girls you kiss?" I replied and she smiled.
"Touché."
"Maybe we should, cleaning and stuff. James' arm is sunk up to his elbow in a plate of gravy."
"Yeah, we should." She said and I turned to leave, but she put a hand on the side of my head, blocking my path. "After this."
She closed the distance between our lips. The kiss didn't last long, because there was a crash from inside, so we had to check it out and make sure no one broke a bone.
It turned out it was just Zayn who got off James off the couch and threw an empty beer bottle.
"Okay, we'll get everyone to the master bedroom and we can leave the girls here." She said, pointing to Yuna who was underneath Soph.
I nodded and helped her carry each of the guys into the big bedroom. We settled Zayn, James, Chris and Seungmin on the bed, and decided that Jake was fine to rest on a blanket on the floor.
"I just found your boyfriend in the bathroom, passed out on the floor." Yeji told me after I settled Chaeryeong and Ryan on a couch.
"He's not my boyfriend... yet." I added, just to see how she reacted.
She arched her eyebrows but didn't say anything else.
We didn't find the guy who came with Jake, so we assumed he left after a quick fuck.
She put away her stereo while I cleaned up.
"Thank God we have a proper bed." Yeji said a few minutes later, coming out of the bathroom in a bathrobe.
"You look ridiculous." I laughed and she shrugged and turned on the TV.
All the channels were full of uninteresting crap, so she finally decided to turn it off and plug her phone into the iDock. Something by Avicii started playing.
"You're not going to sleep in that, are you?" she asked, pointing to my leather pants and blouse.
"I don't have anything else."
She threw her black AC/ DC shirt in my face as she walked toward the door.
"Do I have to take care of you all the time?" She muttered as she walked out of the room.
When she returned with a bottle in her hand, I was already dressed only in her shirt.
"Oooh, since when are you drinking wine?" I joked when I saw her pouring the red liquid into the only small glass left on the table.
"Since all these fuckers drank all the damn beer."
"I think you drank like seventy percent." I said and walked over to her reaching out to grab the glass, but she pulled her hand away from my grasp.
"You're underage." She said and I looked at her.
"No, in Korea, I'm not."
"Yes, but this is America."
"But you kissed me at exactly midnight in Korea."
She blinked.
"So?"
"I think it was cute."
"Okay, stop using that word."
"And you look really cute in that robe."
She ignored me, so I snatched the glass from her and quickly moved to the other side of the bed.
"You should go to bed, I think it's past your bedtime."
"Stop treating me like a child."
"Technically, you're still a child."
"You weren't saying that when I had your cock in my mouth."
She opened her mouth, but then closed it.
"Well played."
I drank the glass after that, and three glasses later, we were dancing like retarded idiots around the room. At one point, she started jumping on the bed and I'm pretty sure she broke it.
"There's no more wine," Yeji said, flipping the bottle upside down and dropping it on the carpet, rolling under the bed.
"Good, because now I'm tired." I muttered and pulled off her sweatshirt, throwing it on the floor.
She took off the robe to reveal the fact that she was, wearing boxers and a sports top. It was hot.
She turned off the music, earlier under the blanket after me. I turned off the light and shuffled my feet so I could look up at the ceiling. I could feel her looking at me.
"For a person who just spent her New Year's in Times Square, you don't look so happy."
That's because I'm fucking broke and will end up sleeping on the street with a white cat.
"Yeah, I'm tired." I said and closed my eyes. "Good night."
***
I ended up selling half my closet for cash so I could spend seven nights in a motel near the University, but I was running out of options and got to the point where I was actually considering prospecting for some extra cash. But even I couldn't go that low (no offense to Zayn).
It was Monday, the second Monday of 2016 and I was desperate. So I approached Zayn that morning before Literature class.
"What's with the nun outfit?" Yeji joked. I didn't even bother to look at her.
"Zayn, uh. Can I like, talk to you for a minute?
He nodded, confused, but followed me into a corner.
"Can you take me to that street corner? Like, I need money. Really bad."
"What, are you really crazy?"
"No. Listen to me. Someone told the dean about the cat I had in my dorm and I got kicked out and now I'm broke living in a shitty motel and I need money to live on."
"I can lend you some if you want, or you should tell Yeji-"
"No! Don't even mention this to Yeji. Please. I just won't have sex; I'll just give some blowjobs or handjobs? How much does that pay?"
"Well, a handjob costs ninety and a blowjob costs one hundred and thirty- No, you're not doing this! You can't be a whore, you're too innocent."
"If I wasn't so desperate, I wouldn't have come to you."
"Woah, thank you." He said.
"I'm sorry, just. Please."
He sighed. "Fine. I'll take you."
I nodded and he patted my shoulder, before turning and walking back to his seat.
I didn't talk to anyone for the rest of the day unless I was asked, because I was still debating whether or not I should.
"Hey wait!" Yeji yelled once we got out of Literature class. She grabbed my arm and turned me around. "Are you mad at me?"
"What? No, why?"
"Because of the comment before class? About the clothes?"
"No, Yeji. It's just that it's complicated, okay? I'll see you tomorrow."
"Is there anything else to do?"
"No, Yeji."
She let go of my arm and I walked away, not looking back. This was a new low for me and I wasn't proud of it.
A few hours later, when it got dark, I put on the last of the "hot" clothes I still had and quickly headed towards the street Zayn had told me about.
Zayn and two other guys were leaning against the wall of an old building and I was freezing, but it was the last night at the motel for me and I felt like I was about to cry.
And all this because of a fucking cat.
"Hey." I said, throwing him a smile as I walked over to him.
"Are you wearing anything under that coat?" Zayn asked and I nodded, lifting it up to reveal my leather shorts.
"Watch and learn baby."
One of the guys said to me as he pushed himself off the wall as a car approached. I couldn't really tell who was in the car, but the window rolled down and the guy leaned in the window, talking to the driver.
He smiled before opening the door and getting in the car, then drove off.
"Wait, where are they going?" I asked Zayn and he shrugged.
"Somewhere to fuck."
"And if they kill him?"
"He won't, we have the license plate."
I scratched the back of my head and saw another car coming down the street and stopping right in front of us. Zayn nodded his head towards me, signaling me to take this turn.
My heart began to beat faster as I walked over to the window, unbuttoning my coat a little. The window rolled down.
"Fuck." I said when I saw Yeji looking at me with an angry expression on his face. "What are you doing here?"
"Seriously? I could ask you the same damn thing." She blurted out and I turned to Zayn.
"You told her?"
"I had to, I'm sorry Ryu, but you can't do this." Zayn told me and I rolled my eyes, turning to Yeji.
"Get in the damn car."
I didn't bother fighting her, so I opened the door and got in. She drove quietly for a while, and I thought I was actually going to get away with it, but then she pulled up in front of the bedroom and broke off.
"What the hell were you thinking, did you really think about this, why would you do that?!"
I sighed and buried my face in my palms, breathing hard.
"I don't want to hear it, Yeji, okay? I just, I screwed up."
"Yes, you did! Why would you-" I didn't bother to stay and listen to her tell me how fucked up I was, so I got out of the car. "What are you doing?"
"I don't know, okay? This year sucks so far." She rounded the car so she could stand in front of me.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong!"
"Yeah, it fucking is! You were on a fucking corner, ready to get in a car with the first guy who came by for money! Are you broke or something?"
"Homeless and broke, more like that."
"What?"
"I'm broke and homeless, okay? You were right, I got kicked out of my dorm because of that cat, and now it's staying with me in a crappy motel room where I have to go tomorrow for check out."
I started crying halfway through my speech, so I wiped my cheeks and tried to look her in the eye with the last trace of dignity left in my body.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I don't want your pity or help, Yeji."
"Yes, but you need it." She said softly and moved closer. I took a step back. "I could have lent you money or paid someone so you could get your dorm back."
"I don't want you to be my sugar daddy, Yeji!"
"So you'd rather live on the streets than let me help you?" I didn't answer and wiped my cheeks with my thumbs. "I can help you, if you let me. You can come and stay in Ryan's bed at the frat house until you get everything straightened out. I don't think the guys will mind."
I stared at her.
"Really?"
She bit her lip and nodded her head, before kissing and hugging me.
"Can we keep the cat too?" I asked once we were back in the car.
She sighed. "Yes. You can give it to Niki, he loves cats and Irene never has time to go buy him one."
"Okay." I said and she started driving towards the motel. "We're going to have sleepovers every day."
"Don't make me regret this, Ryu."
"Sorry." I smiled and she smiled too as she turned on the radio.
I checked out an hour later and Yeji was holding Light fury in her hand as we walked through the fraternity house.
"Yooo what's going on here?" Josh asked as he came out of the kitchen with a bag of chips in his hand.
"She's going to be staying with us for a while." Yeji announced as we walked towards the living room where all the other guys were.
"You're already moving your girlfriend in?" Bryan said from the couch and Jake laughed.
"She got kicked out because of her." Yeji explained, holding up the hand in which she was holding Light fury. "Who, by the way, will also be staying here."
The guys didn't seem to mind, so I settled in pretty quickly, and Yeji even made a sacrifice by lending me one of her drawers for my clothes.
"Besides, you can have the desk for homework, I have nerds to take care of that for me."
"That explains your grades." I said, referring to the recent A on one of her notes.
"If you're going to live in my room, you have to be respectful."
"What, I couldn't hear you over the Justin Bieber album collection."
I laughed and she didn't seem to find it funny, because she took a step towards me. I quickly stepped around her, but she caught me and pulled me towards her.
I screamed and squirmed to get free, before pushing against her chest and we both doubled over on her bed.
Her hands went to my sides and we looked at each other for a moment, before we simultaneously leaned in. I gave her a kiss on the lips before I began kissing her neck. Her fingers tightened around my sides and I pulled away from her to unbutton my coat.
"The fuck, Ryujin..." She breathed when she saw my leather blouse.
I shrugged and tossed my coat on the floor, before returning my attention to her.
"I literally have nothing to wear. I had to sell most of my clothes."
"Jesus Christ, how did the dean find out?"
"Someone sent an anonymous tip- wait. Did you do it?"
Yeji looked at me blankly.
"What?"
"You sent that anonymous tip? You were the only one who knew about Light fury!"
"I didn't, Ryujin!"
She saw that i wasn't sure if she was telling the truth or not, so she sighed.
"I didn't do it, okay? I don't know who the hell did it, but I sure as hell didn't intend for you to end up like this!"
I sighed. "I know, I'm sorry. I'm crazy. I should have listened to you."
"What was that?" She asked, a smile spreading across her face.
"I said, I should have listened to you." I mumbled and crawled away from her.
"What, I couldn't hear you clearly."
"I said-oh, fuck you!" I said when I saw the smile on her face.
She laughed and sat up in bed, propping herself up on her palms. I bent over my suitcase to get me some clothes to sleep in.
"What are you doing?"
"It's almost eleven and I'm tired. I just want to go to sleep."
Then she shrugged and laid on her back, pulling out her phone.
I was actually surprised to see that her bathroom was really clean and she only had a shampoo and shower gel on one of the three shelves.
When I came out of the bathroom, Yeji was in her underwear, typing on her laptop on the desk.
"What are you doing?" I asked and walked over to her, dropping my clothes on the way.
"Last minute literature paper."
"I thought you said you had nerds doing your homework."
"Not in literature. If they do a good job, Gray will figure it out and fail me. He already hates me."
"He doesn't hate you." I said, resting my hands on her shoulders to lean over her and look at her screen above her head.
"Oh, yes, he does."
"Why would you say that?"
She snorted and stopped writing, swiveling her chair around.
"Because he wants to fuck you while I do it." I blushed. "And don't even say it's not true, because it's become painfully obvious by now. I'm surprised he hasn't kissed you or made a move on you."
I opened my mouth, but closed it quickly. I couldn't tell Yeji that Mr. Gray had already kissed me; whe would probably overreact.
"What?" She asked, arching her eyebrows. "What's with that face?"
"What face?" I asked, pretending not to know what she was talking about, but failing miserably.
"That face!" She exclaimed, pointing to my face. "Wait. Did he make a move on you?
"Um. No."
"You're a shitty liar, Ryujin." She said, getting up. She was towering over me, a little intimidating. "Did he make a move on you or not?"
"Well. Maybe. But...I mean, it was nothing." I sheepishly tried to explain.
"What did he do?"
"He just kissed me. But-"
"When?"
"Like, a month or so ago? I think."
"Shit, I'm gonna-"
"Yeji, stop overreacting."
"How am I overreacting, how should I react when one of my friends is being harassed by a professor?"
"You must trust me when I say he didn't do anything, he didn't make me do it. I don't want this to come out, he could lose his job and he could be expelled."
She sighed. "Fine, but I swear to God, if it happens again I'm going to beat the crap out of him."
"Yeji." I said and she shrugged her shoulders.
"It's illegal, Ryujin."
"I know. But so is hitting a professor. You'd get suspended."
She didn't respond, just sat back down and went back to her homework.
I watched TV after that and went to bed a few minutes later, while she was still writing.
I woke up during the night because my feet were cold and I turned on my flashlight app so I could look for some socks in my suitcase.
Then I noticed that Yeji's bed was empty, neatly made, as if she hadn't even slept in it. I checked the time to see that it was 2 a. M.
I slipped under her blankets and snuggled into the warmth, which was her blanket that smelled like her.
***
When I woke up the next day, she still wasn't there. I was really excited that it was finally snowing properly.
After getting dressed, I grabbed my bag and went downstairs to find half the frat boys in the kitchen, eating breakfast.
"Good morning." I said and they all spoke with their mouths full, Justin smiled at me and handed me a bowl of cereal.
Apparently, he memorized my favorite cereal, which, well, it was kinda cute and I couldn't help but smile, feeling butterflies in my stomach.
"Have you guys seen Yeji?" I asked as I tried to quickly finish my breakfast.
They all shook their heads, telling me that they hadn't seen her since last night when she brought me over.
Light fury made an appearance by jumping up on the counter and snuggling into my hand. When I finished my breakfast, Justin took my plate and put it in the dishwasher.
That morning, Mr. Gray was late for class, which gave Chaeryeong a little time to complain that I was gone and had no one to talk to during the night.
"You know like after a month you can try to get your dorm back? Like, if you pay and stuff." She said and I smiled.
"Really? That would be cool."
She nodded and that's when the door opened. Mr. Gray walked in, seemingly frustrated and angry.
"Sorry I'm late for class. My windshield and windows were completely shattered this morning, so I had to take the subway."
"What?" Chaeryeong asked, surprised.
"Some punk smashed my windshield and windows overnight. The police are looking for him, though the chances of finding him are slim. No one saw anything."
I turned around to check if Yeji was here, but she was not. I already knew who had done it, and I didn't know if I should be angry or grateful.
I was worried, if anything. When the lesson was over, I decided to ditch the rest of the day and go find Yeji, because this was ridiculous.
I tried to call her after I dropped off my bag at the fraternity house. But she didn't answer.
"Hey Zaaayn." I said when I saw Zayn on the couch in the living room, surrounded by dozens of tissues and drinking soup.
"What's up." He replied and I sat down next to him.
"So I can't find Yeji."
"Check her dad's house." He said automatically and I frowned.
"Uhm is fine. I'll tell James to give you a thank you blow job for me."
I laughed as I dodged the pillow he threw at me, before leaving the room.