It is the last Wednesday in November, the day Josie begins learning occlumency. While she trusts her friends, Regulus, Evan, and Pandora, she hesitates to reveal her new endeavor to them. The reason for her secrecy lies in the fact that they come from Pureblood families, most of whom support the rising Dark Lord. Josie knows it isn't about her friends themselves but about being cautious in her circumstances.
She is discreetly working with Helena on blocking certain thoughts. Helena, well-versed in the topic, appears as a transparent form standing in the corner while Josie sits on one of the chairs in the room. The space is partially cleared of dust and cobwebs through magical efforts, but some remnants still remain (she definitely does not run out of the room when she sees a spider).
"Think of it as some sort of shield," Helena speaks with a wispy voice, offering her guidance. "Form protection spells around the thoughts you want to hide, as if shoving them into a corner of your mind."
Josie takes a deep breath, ready to put the advice into practice. She focuses on concealing her thoughts about her investigations into Tom Riddle, her experiences with Helena, her suspicions about Dumbledore, and anything that might raise eyebrows. With determination, she imagines locking these thoughts away in a corner of her mind and encasing them with protection spells.
"It's hard in the sense that you have to clear your mind while keeping the protective barriers intact," Helena continues her instructions. "But it's also easy in the sense that fortifying the rest of your mind feels more natural."
Josie nods, trying her best to follow Helena's guidance. As she concentrates on both aspects of shielding her mind, she finds that keeping the shields up isn't as difficult as she initially thought.
After a few moments of intense focus, Josie slowly opens her eyes and finds Helena smiling approvingly at her progress. "Good job, Josephine. Now go, or you'll be late," Helena says, seemingly aware of the time despite being a ghost.
Josie doesn't question how a ghost could tell time. She quickly packs her bag, feeling a sense of accomplishment for her efforts. "Thank you, Helena," she says gratefully before leaving for her other commitments.
She is visibly nervous, her heart beating faster with every step she takes. The halls are unusually empty, likely because it is dinner time.
She makes her way through the halls until she finally reaches the concealed entrance. Standing there for a few moments, Josie tries to calm her nerves.
After whispering the password, she ascends the numerous stairs. The ascent seems to drag on forever, though she knows it is just her anxious mind playing tricks on her. "Stairs can't taunt; they are stairs. What is wrong with me?" she chides herself silently.
Finally, Josie reaches Dumbledore's office and knocks on the door. It opens, revealing Dumbledore sitting behind his desk, engrossed in something. "Ah, hello Miss Potter. Please, have a seat," he says, gently adjusting his glasses.
She swallows nervously and takes the chair in front of the desk. To ease her tension, she absentmindedly fiddles with the strap of her bag.
Dumbledore gestures toward a cup of steaming liquid in front of her. "It's tea to help calm your nerves if you'd like some."
Appreciatively, she reaches for the cup and takes a sip. The tea is just the right temperature and quite enjoyable. "Thank you, Sir," she says politely as she places the teacup back on the plate.
Dumbledore begins to explain the concept of Occlumency, advising her to create a shield around her mind to prevent intrusions. He mentions different ways people visualize this shield, some imagining a guard, while others picture an actual wall.
Nodding to show her understanding, Josie prepares herself for the practical lesson. Dumbledore instructs her to push back her chair and move to the middle of the room, and she complies, leaving her bag at the front of his desk. He then stands in front of the desk, ready to guide her.
"Clear your mind," he advises, warning her about the process. Josie leans back into the chair, closing her eyes, and envisions locking up her thoughts and emotions, acting as if they don't exist. Her mind feels like an empty gray room, with a faint sense of a closet somewhere behind her, where she has locked away the thoughts shew doesn't want him to see.
She hears Dumbledore's warning but doesn't hear him attempting to enter her mind. However, an uncomfortable feeling washes over her as memories begin to surface. She remembers her past birthday parties, the insecurity she feels for not looking like other girls, her father's disappointed expression after her first year at Hogwarts, and more.
Gasping for air, she finds herself back in Dumbledore's office. Concerned, he asks, "Are you alright, dear?"
"Let's try again," she insists, determined not to give up. She visualizes a blank gray room with a strong shield surrounding it, and when the uncomfortable feeling returns, she feels the shield growing stronger in response.
But despite her efforts, Dumbledore is still able to break through the shield. Memories flood her mind again—her fight with her father, James running off with Sirius without her, finding Sirius unconscious on their front porch, and her frantic call for her mother's help.
Thrown from the memories, she gasps for air, feeling incredibly vulnerable. The thought of him seeing those memories makes her feel exposed.
Dumbledore decides to call it a day, saying, "Let's stop for now."
"But—" she protests, not wanting to delay her progress.
He holds up a hand, interrupting gently, "You need rest and some food, dear. We can continue next week."
"Fine," she reluctantly agrees, getting up on wobbly legs but steadying herself on the chair. After pushing the chair back to its original place, she grabs her bag and says, "Thank you," before leaving his office.
A throbbing headache plagues her as she slowly makes her way to the kitchens, bringing up terrible memories that she despises.
Once inside, she asks one of the house elves for some tea, and they happily oblige. She settles down at a nearby table, feeling utterly exhausted. Resting her head on the table, she tries to collect herself.
The cup of warm tea is placed gently on the table, and she thanks the elf with a slightly raspy voice that surprises her. Taking a sip, she can't help but think back to the painful memories Dumbledore witnessed. She had expected him to see her memories, but that doesn't make it any less distressing.
Attempting to control her emotions, she wipes something wet from her face and tries not to cry. She doesn't want to let her emotions get the best of her, but the effort only seems to make things worse.
As the kitchen door opens, she quickly wipes her eyes, hoping no one will notice her vulnerability. To her surprise, it's Sirius who walks in.
"Oi, Josie! I didn't know you'd be in here," he smirks, taking a seat across from her.
"Hello," she replies, lifting her tea to her lips.
Sirius detects something off, "Have you been crying?"
Trying to mask her emotions, she denies it and puts down her tea. But Sirius points out her red eyes.
"Maybe I'm high," she jokes.
He chuckles, knowing her well enough to see through the pretense, "You don't smell like it, plus you're not into that stuff."
Feeling tired she says "I'm a changing women, trying new things every day."
Serious concern replaces his playful demeanor, "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. Are you?" she deflects.
Sirius hesitates, twisting a ring on his finger, Just like Regulus, "You know I like Remus."
"Yeah," she acknowledges.
"We keep fighting over... a certain thing," Sirius vaguely mentions.
Josie doesn't beat around the bush, "Are you fighting because he's a werewolf?"
Sirius confirms her intuition, surprised, "Yeah – wait, how did you know?"
"I pay attention," she replies candidly. "Plus, I'm not dumb and also those nicknames you have for eachother?" Her eyebrows raised "They are quite revealing. I also saw you in dog form at our house and at school. I even called you Sirius" She clears her throat "It's clear you both love each other, but Remus doesn't think he's worthy of love because of his condition. He's pushing you away to protect you. Don't let these fights drive you apart."
A warm smile spreads across Sirius' face, "You're quite good at this little Potter" impressed by her insight. Josie encourages him to be with Remus, assuring him that they belong together.
"You know what else is clear?" Sirius teases. "How much you like my brother, Regulus."
Flustered, Josie denies it, hoping her feelings aren't so obvious. "What? You've gone mad"
"I've seen him with others, but he's never been this happy. I've never seen him so...free" Sirius remarks genuinely.
"I don't like him, and he certainly doesn't like me," she says, clenching her jaw. "If he's happy, it's definitely not because of me."
"Sure, Jo, he's just suddenly happy for no reason," he retorts sarcastically. "Now, I'm going to get my werewolf." He walks out the door.
Why do people keep assuming that Regulus likes me?