" 'Cause if you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it
If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don't be mad once you see that he want it
If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it
Whoa, oh, oh. "
'Single Ladies' - Beyonce
************************************
Shannon was so shocked by Emily's sudden actions that he was frozen to the spot. Everything around him seemed to be moving in slow motion, and it took a couple of minutes for him to register what was happening. He really loved her, but his Mother's words were currently ringing in his head right now, to just, 'be careful'.
"Em-Emily. Wait. Stop." He reached out and gently removed her hands from where they currently resided on his chest and held them carefully in his own. He watched her face closely as she tilted her face up to search his own, a look of confusion starting to cross it.
"B-but I thought. I-I thought this—" She started. He could tell she was now becoming very embarrassed at her actions as her cheeks had become flushed and the tips of her ears were turning red.
"I just think we should take things slowly Emily, that's all. You've got a newborn to focus on now."
Emily suddenly yanked her hands out of his. "Hang on a minute Shannon. I was the one who said I needed to focus on Alex, you were the one still flirting with me, being touchy-feely and giving me kisses, yes, granted only on the cheek. I-I thought this was what you wanted?" She glared at him, managing to wearily cross her arms, making to take off her vest-top, but not getting very far because things were still so sore.
"Look. Here, let me help you." Shannon crossed over to her and removed her hands from the hem of her top and replaced them with his own.
Emily sighed deeply.
************************************
Their conversation was cut through by wailing and Emily tore her gaze away from Shannon who was still standing in front of her as she had her back to the sink.
"I-I need to go and see what he wants. Can you help me on with my t-shirt Shannon?" Emily snapped at him, becoming slightly flustered about everything.
"Erm...y-yeah sure."
He frantically reached around her for the Nirvana t-shirt that was draped over the sink.
"Is everything OK in here you two? I don't mean to pry, but Alex's crying came over the baby monitor and he's sounding a little distressed."
Constance's voice floated across the bedroom and through to the bathroom where both Emily and Shannon stood.
"Y-yeah things are...fine." Shannon called out to his mother, hearing her footsteps nearing the bathroom and Alex now happily gurgling.
Emily currently had the t-shirt halfway over her head and Shannon was helping her on with it. The next thing they knew, Constance had poked her head around the bathroom door, gently jigging Alex up and down as she held him against her shoulder.
"Mum! Things are fine, honestly." Shannon was now embarrassed that she had caught them as they both were, after the conversation he had had an hour or so ago with her in the lounge.
"Oh! I do apologise. I just heard Alex bawling down the baby monitor and couldn't hear anyone soothing him. I wanted to make sure you both weren't asleep."
"No. It's fine Constance. Thank you." Emily abruptly replied, annoyed and embarrassed that she was caught how she was by Shannon's mother.
Yanking the t-shirt down the rest of her body she moved to push Shannon out of the way to take Alex from Constance "Alex had an accident when I last fed him and he threw up over me when I was burping him. Shannon was helping me change out of my messed up clothes."
Emily reached out and careful extracted Alex from Constance, holding him tightly to her body against her shoulder and the little bundle started to wriggle and gurgle.
She was really embarrassed right now, but just wanted some space away from everyone and everything for a while, so left Constance and Shannon to battle things out and walked back into her room snatching up Alex's blanket from his basinet and a thick throw that she had draped over the back of her couch.
Swaddling Alex in his blanket and wrapping the fleece blanket around her own shoulders making sure to tuck it tightly around Alex as well, she made her way over to the stairs that led up to the rooftop terrace.
Slowly and carefully, she used one hand to steady herself with the banister and moved to take each step, one at a time, feeling her stitches starting to burn slightly with every step she took.
"Let's get away from all that loudness for a bit, hey Sweetie?" She whispered to Alex, reaching out and adjusting the little hat he wore on his head to cover it more fully. "Let me show you the stars and how beautiful it is around here." She leant down and kissed his forehead before reaching out to push open the door that lead out onto the terrace, instantly being hit by a wall of frigid air that took her breath away for a second.
"I know its cold Pumpkin, but I'll put the poolside heaters on and we'll be snug in no time, OK?"
Making her way around the pool, and watching as the slight ripples on the surface were illuminated by the poolside lights, Emily made her way over to the seating area and ever so slowly; wincing as she did so, lowered herself down onto one of the poolside loungers, that had the back to it propped up.
Alex gurgled and wriggled slightly.
"Hey you. Little wriggler. You're going to be an active one, hey?" She turned her gaze back down to the little warm bundle in her arms and laughed as she felt Alex moving against her chest.
Pulling back the blanket a little, she revealed Alex's blue and white cloth covered head and saw his dark eyes looking at her. He had the longest eyelashes that made her jealous, but it was something she had noticed about James almost right away. It looked as though that was something Alex had inherited from him.
She was particularly intrigued as to what Alex's eye colour would be, as he got older and it started to form. Whilst she had emerald green eyes, James had rich blue/grey ones, whilst it wasn't entirely impossible that he could eventually end up with brown.
Alex made to reach out with a mitten covered hand and Emily held out a finger, which he grasped lightly. She laughed and booped him lightly on the nose with a finger from her other hand. He gurgled. She did it again.
"BOOP!"
He gurgled again, seeming to like what she was doing.
"BOOP!"
She did it again and he kicked his legs a little.
"You like that huh? You like it when Mummy boops you on the nose?"
She did it once more, before allowing her finger to lightly trace around his little lips.
"See Alex, see how pretty the stars are in the sky? Can you see them twinkling. They're saying 'Hello' to you." She raised a hand at them and moved to cup her fingers and move them up and down, waving back at them. 'Hello stars. This is Mummy and Alex." She smiled back down at Alex. "One day when you're much older, I'm gonna teach you some of the constellations and show you the Northern Lights, like I showed your Daddy one day when he was here to see me."
"EMILY?" A voice called out from the other end of the pool, and she saw Shannon appear through the doorway and out onto the terrace. "What are you doing up here? It's freezing! You'll both get sick."
He made his way around the pool and over to where Emily was sat, reclined on the lounger cradling Alex close to herself, tucked up in his blanket with the fleece one over him too.
"Don't do that again!" He told her as he reached them.
"Do what?" Emily questioned, looking up at him as he stood there with his hands on his hips looking down at her.
"I had no idea where you had gone, once I realised you weren't back in your room. I started to freak out when I noticed Alex was gone as well.' He came and sat on one of the other recliners and rested his hands on his knees.
"I just wanted some space and some fresh air, that's all. I wanted to show Alex the stars."
Shannons worried looked quickly softened to a sympathetic one. "I'm sorry about that. That was very awkward for you, I understand."
"It wasn't that. I appreciate your mother's help. I do. I-I just. I'm confused."
"What about?"
She chewed her lip. "You?"
Emily saw Shannon's brows knitted together as he watched her, before leaning forward and reaching out, stroking the side of Alex's face with a finger ever so softly.
"You turned up here unexpectedly, showing up for my last prenatal appointment, telling me that you'd stopped seeing Lauren because you missed me and I told you that I had to focus on Alex, but you still kept being very touchy feely with me, granted we never kissed...u-until now." She ducked her gaze, still slightly embarrassed by what she had just done. "B-but then when I finally give in and give you what you want, you push me away! I just—what do you want Shannon?" She paused and watched him, before carrying on.
"I-I don't want this to be some kind of competition still between you and Jay. I know you're still jealous that he was able to be here for my baby shower, and I know you saw that letter he sent me." She watched as she saw Shannon start to blush at her words. "Jay and I will never be anything more than very close friends. He doesn't want to settle down and he's also extremely busy with his life and I don't want to stop him from doing that, that would be selfish."
"But if he was willing to quit everything to be with you, you would?" Shannon snapped at what he thought she was trying to imply.
"No. Shannon. I wouldn't." She sighed deeply, fussing over Alex, pulling one of his mittens on that was starting to come off. "I just want a simple life, with a partner who's willing to commit and be there for BOTH me and Alex. I'm not asking for the world, but I don't want drama, I don't want sibling rivalry and I don't want us both to come second best to anything. I-I don't want to stop you from doing what you want with your life Shannon, because it's not fair to you. Lauren was good for you, you shouldn't have finished things with her like that. She didn't deserve it."
Shannon sighed deeply. "She wasn't you."
"I'm not me anymore Shannon. I'm not the old me. I'm the new me. I'm a Mum now. My life's about to become incredibly tame from what it used to be. I-I can't just keep hopping on a plane now to come and see you, or join you on tour. I have Alex to think about now. He needs a stable life, well as stable a life as I can give him being a single Mum."
"You know my life isn't ruled by my brother and I'm capable of making my own decisions, right?" Shannon snapped at her, a little hurt by what he thought she had been trying to imply.
Emily frowned.
"I-I'm not quite following."
"If I don't want to go on a tour, I don't have to. If I want to focus my intentions on my business instead, I can. If I want to leave LA, I'm able to. If I decide to give up my other home in Seattle, I have."
"You've sold your home in Seattle? Why, Shannon? It was beautiful there."
"Too many old memories. Plus, I rarely visit anymore, so most of the time it's been sitting empty. My time away from you made me realise that life is too short and sometimes, you need to let go of the past and focus more on what's in front of you."
Emily sat there looking at him, still confused as to what he was currently telling her.
"Well. I kind of wanted to do this slightly differently."
"Huh? Do what? I'm confused with what you're saying, Shannon." She started to jig Alex up and down to try to make him sleepy.
Her eyes followed him as he stood up from the lounger, watching him intently.
She saw him reach into the pocket of his black sweatpants, before Alex started gurgling again and drew her attention away from him momentarily to fuss over him before returning her gaze back up to Shannon, whose focus was currently solely on her with a serious look on his face.
Emily had never seen him look so serious before and was starting to panic internally inside, wondering what on Earth he was up to.
"Shannon. What's wrong? Why are you looking at me so seriously like that? What are you doing? Why—"
She was cut off by him fumbling around in his pocket for something, then seeing him grasp ahold of it before following him with her gaze as moved to sink down before her on one knee, reaching out to place a finger on her lips to shhhh her.
"Will you be quiet for a second." Shannon laughed, albeit nervously. "I sold my house in Seattle for you and Alex—"
He saw her eyes widen as he said this.
"WHAT!" She eventually exclaimed loudly. "Shannon!"
"I'm serious, Emily. Listen to me." He slowly pulled his hand out of his sweatpants pocket and she managed to catch a glimpse of a red box. "If I remove my finger, will be you let me get a word in?"
Emily didn't say anything, her gaze still focusing on the box, so Shannon took the chance to speak.
"I promise I won't be hurt if you say 'no', but I would love for you to say 'yes'. Emily. You're the best thing to ever happen to me, and I've felt like I've had a breath of fresh air blown into my life that I didn't know I was missing since I met you. I love you, I've never stopped loving you, and no matter how hard I try, I will never stop loving you."
He watched her nervously gnawing her bottom lip as Alex nestled calmly in her arms, kicking his legs every now and then as he rested.
"Fuck. I've never done this before." Shannon took a deep breath and laughed, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "OK. So, I-I guess what I'm trying to get out is. Would you consider marrying me?"
Shannon produced the red box he had been holding and held out it out in front of himself and unclasped the lid. Emily could see that he was shaking.
She did love Shannon. He had been amazing to her ever since they had first met. He hadn't bolted when she had eventually managed to tell him that she was pregnant, and even more so that Alex wasn't his. In fact, he had instantly embraced the idea and never once had he ever treated her badly because of this.
He had been there every step of the way like he had promised to her from that very moment, even when she had done the stupidest of things and cheated on him with his brother in the heat of the moment. She'd felt absolutely dreadful about that and it was the main reason that she had distanced herself from him, because she didn't feel worthy of him after that.
But still he had come back to her after some months apart and still he had wanted her. And, just like he had promised her from the very beginning, he had been there for Alex's birth and still continued to be. The man had even sold his second home for her and Alex. Why? She had absolutely no idea, the guy was mad!
"But—but...you'd said you wanted to take things slowly...Shannon Christopher Leto, make your godamn mind up!" Emily glared at him.
Shannon took a deep breath and sat back on the lounger once more and ran a hand through his hair.
"I-I've been planning this tentatively for a while Emily. I think you've known about my feelings for you for a long time now. When we split up for those few past months, it only deepened my feelings for you. I realised you didn't mean what happened with my brother to happen. I realised that you wanted me to stay away because you didn't think you deserved me after what you did.
I realised that when we had that last fight you thought I was going to hit you and you freaked out, rightfully so. You know I was would never ever lay a hand on you, and I'm so incredibly ashamed of myself if that's what you thought of me.
All I ever want to do is look after you and Alex. To provide for you both. To love you both. You both make my whole world.
Mum and I were talking this evening whilst you were napping. I know she was just worrying about me and my feelings, because no matter how old you get, that's what parents do, but she inadvertently made me start to question myself and I panicked when you kissed me.
We talked just now, and she said that all she wants is to see the both of her sons happy, and what would make me the happiest man on Earth would be to let me marry you.
So. Emily. Will you?"
He once again held the box out in front of himself and he saw her gaze flicker down once more to the red box that was being held out in front of her, to the gorgeous ring that sat, nestled amongst it's cream satin cushion and then suddenly up to the font printed inside of the lid.
"Cartier!" She exclaimed loudly. Then winced, realising that Alex was nicely nestled, resting in her arms and she didn't want to wake him. "Are you mad Shannon!" She whispered.
He shrugged. "You're worth it to me."
In the box, on its cushion of satin, sat a rose gold engagement ring, set with a small heart-shaped black opal and two emeralds either side of it.
"Shannon.....it's gorgeous." She reached out taking the box carefully from him and held it in her free hand looking at the ring. Eventually after a while and just before Shannon looked as though he was about to pass out if held onto his breath any longer, Emily managed to get out the smallest of 'yes's'.
"Did you say 'yes'?" Shannon had to ask her again as he wasn't sure he had quite managed to hear her.
She nodded her head, beckoning him forward with a finger. He lent in as she had asked him to and she cupped his chin between her thumb and forefinger, carefully holding onto Alex as she did so.
"Yes. I will marry you." She mumbled quietly against his lips.
He was about to open his mouth to reply until she gave him a taste of his own medicine and placed her own finger on them.
"BUT. I want to keep this quiet between the two of us. I don't want the Press to get wind of anything. Not just yet. I know they will eventually, but I want to be able to focus on Alex first and get him settled."
He opened his mouth once more.
"AND." Emily cut him off. "I don't want anything big or fancy. I don't want some celebrity wedding, I don't want 10,000 guests, I don't want a fancy venue AND I'd like it here, in Alaska. If that's ok with you."
"Jesus you drive a hard bargain. What have I got myself into." Shannon was finally able to mumble.
"Can we also tell you Mum together, but in our own time? As much as I appreciate her help, her being here....I-I just have SO much going on at the moment, that I really don't have time to be focusing on planning a wedding or anything right now."
"Sure. We can do whatever makes you happy. I'm fine with that. I just....wow....you said yes. We're really doing this huh?"
Emily smiled and nodded her head at him, before managing to catch him off guard and kissing him before he could protest this time.
"I love you. And thank you. For everything."
"I love you too gorgeous. And I promise that no matter what I'll be here for the both of you. Forever." Shannon softly stroked the side of Alex's face once more, smiling down at the newly born bundle of flesh ad blood that lay in Emilys arms, dead to the world.