Opening my eyes, I wait for them to come into focus before turning to Alexander. I want to apologize to him for not trusting him and for holding him at arm's length, but he's nowhere to be found.
After showering and putting on one of his shirts, I leave his bedroom to find him. Not at all surprised to hear his voice coming from his office.
He's a workaholic who doesn't know the meaning of the word 'relax'.
Softly, I knock on his door and enter to a welcoming smile from Alexander. But there's something off about it. He motions for me to take the seat across from him while I wait for him to finish his call, so I do. Noticing how he seems to be all business with me. His usual determination and affection for me missing from his eyes.
Now that I've put the stress of the custody hearing behind me, I was hoping Alexander and I could seriously talk about our future together. So, when he finally hangs up the phone, giving me his undivided attention, I quietly make my way around his desk to sit on his lap.
"I know I've been distant and stressed out. Not giving you the attention, you deserve. And... I'm sorry. Jackson's been on my ass about every little thing. He doesn't want Elijah anywhere near you. So, I've been struggling with finding that balance in my life. One where I can have both you and my son. It hasn't been easy, and this is hard for me to say because I've been hurt before, but-"
Leaning into me, Alexander gently presses his lips to mine.
"Whatever you're going to say... don't bother." He tells me. "I've been thinking a lot about you and me, and I think perhaps we've gotten a bit off track, like you said. Or perhaps maybe I've gone a bit off-track."
"What do you mean?" I frown.
Sighing heavily, he opens one of the drawers of his desk and pulls out the contracts I signed. Placing them all before me.
"Meaning I'd like to go back to our original arrangement."
What?
Stunned, I listen while he backtracks. Recanting every confession, he's ever made to me where his feelings for me are concerned. Simultaneously dismissing and disregarding the feelings I've developed for him over these past months. I'm so speechless that we're going back to this when he's told me how much he doesn't want what we have to end, that I don't even know what to say.
Did I miss something?
"I... I don't understand." I grimace. Gawking at him in disbelief. "Did I do something wrong?"
"No." He shakes his head. "I did. I lost sight of myself."
Again, I'm stunned. Because this can't be happening to me. I've finally found someone who sets my soul on fire. Someone other than Jackson. And now he's closing the door on everything we could be. Everything we were so close to being. Leaving me no say in the matter.
"So, what are you saying?" I ask. My heart lodging in my throat.
Afraid of what his answer might be.
"I'm saying we should go back to our original agreement. The one where we both get what we want, and then we part ways in three years." He drives a knife into my heart.
Fuck.
"I... I don't know what to say." I flash him a smile I'm far from feeling. "Especially not after the things you've said to me and the time we've spent together."
"The agreement was in place for a reason, and we should respect that." He speaks. Quickly shutting me down.
Shocked, I just stare at him in disbelief.
There's no way I can go back to the agreement now.
There's no way I can go back to feeling and meaning nothing to him.
"Is there a problem?" He asks.
Yes.
But my lips refuse to move.
"Evelyn, if you feel like you can't hold up your end of the bargain, then, maybe we should separate for a while. It would give us both some much needed clarity."
What?
"No." I shake my head. Swallowing the lump in my throat. "There's no problem."
Still, not one to let anyone see how much they've hurt me, I smile and pick up one of the agreements. Pretending to read it long enough to get my emotions in check.
"Now what?"
"Now, the sooner you can get pregnant, the sooner we can go our separate ways I guess. You've already fulfilled your obligation to my father's health. So, all that's left is for you to give me a son." He smiles. Gathering up all the contracts and shoving them back in his drawer.
"Right." I swallow hard.
The words 'the sooner we can go our separate ways' echoing in my head.
Part of me is hoping this is just some sick joke. My feelings for him aren't just going to go away and I am kicking myself for letting things get this far.
For not listening to my first mind and walking away from it all.
Walking away from him when I knew I was in way over my head.
Jackson may have thrown me for a loop, but Alexander... there's no coming back from him.
He has my heart.
Utterly and completely.
So, how did we end up here?
"That will be all, Evelyn. Tomorrow night I will have my driver pick you up around four in the afternoon. I have a business meeting to go to and I need to bring a date. Who better than my wife, right?" He winks at me.
But I don't like his tone.
"Right." I flash him a strained smile.
Not that he even notices.
"Great. Benji will see you back to your place, and I guess I'll see you then."
"I guess so."
I expect him to at least walk me back to the room, but he doesn't. Instead, he picks up his phone, dials someone else, and I become forgotten.
What the hell is going on?
Ten minutes pass and Benji walks me to the car waiting outside for me. Again, I wait for Alexander to see me off, but he doesn't show. And I'm dropped off at home twenty minutes later. Still trying to figure out what's wrong.
That's when I see my face, his father's face, and Alexander's face plastered all over the news. The details of his father's treatment on display for the world to see.
And now his cold demeanor towards me makes sense.
This information never should have been leaked.
Pulling out my phone I try to call him, but I get his voicemail. I try several more times throughout the day, but he doesn't answer any of my calls.
He's avoiding me.
It isn't until four o'clock in the afternoon rolls around that I indirectly hear from him in the form of a message he relays through Benji. Telling me he'll be meeting me at the location. Then Ailene and her team spends hours on me to make me look perfect.
Like every man's fantasy.
Only then am I finally driven to the party where camera flashes and news reporters greet me as I make my way from the car into the swanky building where this little soiree is being held. Handed from one guard to the next until I'm finally brought to Alexander.
I expect him to gawk at me like every other man in the room, but his eyes are glued to a very sultry Latina woman with curves like Selma Hayek.
He barely grants me a passing glance.
In fact, he's unable to pry his eyes away from the beauty occupying so much of his time that I may as well not even be here.
And I've never been more humiliated in all my life.
Several times I try to get his attention.
To steer his focus away from this beautiful girl. But it's like I'm visible to every other male in the room except him. He's barely even said a word to me all night.
I'm usually a very strong person, but even the strongest person can break, and I feel myself starting to crack under the pressure of his indifference.
"Perhaps someone else would like a chance to meet your friend here." I suggest to Alexander.
"Actually, can you go get us another beverage?" He asks.
Like I'm a waitress or something.
Adding insult to injury, he ignores me and goes back to speaking to her like I'm not standing here. While I stare at him, admiring his features and wishing he would just... look at me, Benji pulls me away from them.
Still, I tell myself there has to be a way to get through to him. To talk to him about what I saw on the news. But as the night wears on, I get the feeling he's punishing me. A feeling I quickly dismiss because he would never intentionally be this careless with my feelings.
At least, I hope not.
I grab the three of us a beverage for the fifth time, only, Benji approaches me on my way back.
"What is it now?" I ask. "Would he like me to bring them a plate of food too? Perhaps I can balance it all on my head."
"No." He clears his throat. Unable to look me in the eyes. "Mr. King has asked me to retrieve the beverages and send you home. He says you won't be needed tonight." He explains.
Like I'm some whore he hired to accompany him here tonight. Instead of his wife.
"Why?" I blanche. Unable to disguise my pain. "I've barely been here for an hour, and he hasn't even spoken a word to me."
"Yes, I know. But... um... he and Ms. Vasquez have made other plans for the evening."
Looking past him, I watch as Alexander props his elbow out for her, and she gladly takes his arm. Allowing him to walk her to the exit. Furious, I hand Benji the drinks and follow them, ignoring his protests until they climb into a limousine and drive off together.
Unable to hold my feelings in any longer, I whirl on Benji with tears in my eyes.
"Is he serious?" I ask.
"Allow me to take you home, Mrs. King." He ignores my question. His sympathetic eyes finding mine.
Reluctantly, I climb into the car and allow him to take me home. With silent pain swelling in my chest.
I trusted him.
Hell, I let him in.
This can't be real.
I try Alexander on his cellphone several times, but he still won't answer me. Causing my mind to run wild with the possibilities of what he could be doing right now... with her.
"I'm sure he'll call you when he's available." Benji assures me.
But we both know it's a lie.
"Maybe." I flash him a brief smile. "Thank you, Benji."
"You're welcome, Madame. And if I may say so myself, you looked absolutely stunning tonight."
If only Alexander would've noticed.
"Thank you, Benji."
Exiting the car, I walk into my house where everything now reminds me of Alexander. Trying him several more times, to no avail.
I exhale a shaky, pain-filled breath. Then, needing to numb my heart, I pull a bottle of wine from the cabinet and finish it all until I can no longer feel anything.