ELAINE was holding a wine glass on her left hand while clutching on her date's arm. She's tensed with all those stares her relatives give her. They were very judgmental. She looked at him but he just gave her a reassuring smile, as if it was sending a message that everything is alright even if it doesn't seem to be alright. She looked at her left hand, at her left ring finger to be exact. She smiled bitterly as she remembered she's not marrying Jacob anymore. She left him and the ring.
"Okay ka lang?" She jumped off in surprise when the man beside her touched her shoulder. "You're idling." She put her wine glass down then she tugged his hand off her shoulder. She felt uncomfortable with his touch. It was very disturbing.
"I'm sorry. Pupunta lang ako sa CR," she hastily removed her hand clutching around his muscular arms then went to the bathroom. She ran her fingers through her hair as she pace back and forth. Iba ang pakiramdam niya dahil pakiramdam niya ay niloloko niya si Jacob kahit tinapos na niya ang relasyon nila. Agad siyang napalingon sa pinto ng CR nang bumukas iyon at pumasok ang kanyang mama.
Her mother smiled at her, but not the heat-warming kind of smile. It was a devious smile. "He's better than your old man, isn't he?" She said as she walk in front of the mirror beside her. Her mother was staring at her using the mirror, her arms folded across her chest. "Kael is far more better than-what is his name again? Ah, Jacob is his name, right? The outcast."
That made her more raged. Gusto niyang umapela ngunit ano ang ipanglalaban niya? Na mahal nila ang isa't-isa? Na kapag mahal mo ang isang tao, mahirap man o mayaman, tatanggapin kayo ng lipunan ng walang sasabihing masama? She cocked her head to the left, avoiding contact with her mother's judging eyes. She remained silent, pretending to be deaf because she's hurt of what her mother said about Jacob.
"I need to go," she said, almost a whisper, almost running out of voice.
"It's rude that you left your fiancé alone." And she shut the door.
With furrowed brows and trembling hands, she marched into the hall where a party was being celebrated - her engagement party with Kael Rodriguez, son of her father's best friend and business partner, Kiro Rodriguez. Sa totoo lang ay ayaw niyang ikasal kay Kael, at ayaw rin niyang ikasal dahil lang sinabi ng kanyang magulang na ikasal siya sa kahit sinong lalaki na gusto ng mga ito para sa kanya. Kaya siya naglasing kasama ang dati niyang nobyo at fiancé, si Jacob. Alam niyang may nangyari sa kanila, and it was wonderful! At sa gabing iyon lang din niya nalaman na alam pala ng mga magulang niya ang balak niyang pagtakas at pakikipagtanan kay Jacob.
"Elaine, honey, there you are! Kanina pa tayo hinahanap nila lolo." She stopped on her track, then she looked back only to find Kael tailing her in a fast pace. Hinawakan siya nito sa pulsuhan at hinigit papasok sa hall. Dinala siya nito sa mga magulang nila, her father was there with Kael's parents. Her mother? Hell knows where her goddamn mother is. "Smile, honey."
She doesn't want to be rude on them so she smiled, a fake smile no one could ever tell if it is real or not. Si Jacob lang ang may alam kung peke o hindi ang ngiti niya. Only Jacob could tell... If only Jacob was there he would have scolded her.
His father seemed to feel their presence. Tumingin na rin sa kanila ang mga magulang ni Kael. Ngumiti ang mga ito sa kanila.
"Get ready. The highlight of this celebration is about to start." Tumingin sa kanya ang mama ni Kael, Kyla Rodriguez. She knows his mother very well. Dahil ito ang unang nakaalam na may relasyon sila ni Jacob, ito rin ang nagpaalam sa magulang niya na may karelasyon siya na hindi nila kabilang. Pera lang ang habol niya sa 'yo, iyon pa ang eksaktong sinabi ng Tita Kyla niya sa kanya.
But they're dead wrong.
"Elaine, you're idling again, and you look so tensed. Relax. 'Wag kang kabahan, i-a-announce lang naman na nakatakda na tayong ikasal." Tumawa si Kael ng mahina na tila parang nagugustuhan pa nito ang mga nangyayari.
And then, everything happened. Naipakilala sila sa mga business partners ng magulang niya, sa mga amiga ng mga ito, at sa iba pang mga imbitado sa engagement party na iyon na ikakasal na siya sa taong hindi naman niya talaga gusto o minahal man lang.
Puro kislap ng flash ng camera ang kanyang nakita, puro shutter ang kanyang naririnig nang bumaba sila ni Kael sa entablado. She saw Kael smiling widely as the photographers took a picture of them arm in arm. She had this sudden urge to remove her arm around his arm, and she did. Napansin niyang tumingin sa kanya si Kael ngunit nagdire-diretso lamang siya palabas. Narinig pa niyang tinawag siya nito ngunit hindi na iyon nilingon. Sinunod niya ang gusto ng mga ito kaya ngayon, sila naman ngayon ang sumunod sa gusto niya. At gusto niyang lumabas doon at mapag-isa.
She doesn't want to go home. Siguradong papagalitan na naman siya ng mga magulang niya sa biglaan niyang pag-walk out sa harap ng maraming tao. Alam niya kasing hindi siya ang mapapahiya kundi ang mga magulang nila ni Kael at si Kael mismo.
At dahil nasa hotel naman na siya, doon na siya nag-check in. The receptionist smiled at her when she received the keys.
"Thank you!"
She froze, stopped to take a step, when she heard a familiar voice beside her, and a familiar scent that made her inhale deep. Panic began to rise up in her chest, her heart started to pound fast, her eyes were dampened with unshed tears. She gasped loudly when she stumbled. All eyes are on her, but she chose to shake all of it off and hurriedly walked into the elevator. She was breathing fast and loud, as if she was a criminal who ran away from policemen.
Ilang beses niyang pinindot ang 38th floor, thanking God that she'd been in the same hotel before so she knows where floor to stop. Ni hindi na nga niya hinintay ang bellhop na magdadala sa kanyang kuwarto. She just wanted to run.
Nakahinga siya ng maluwag nang magsimulang magsara ang elevator ngunit mayroong kamay na humarang doon kaya bumukas ulit ito at bumungad sa kanya ang mukha ni Jacob. Her lips parted when their eyes made contact but she broke the contact immediately.
She was expecting him to say hi, but she shouldn't have expected because he didn't say hi or greet her. He just went in the lift wordless, soundless, as if she was invisible, like he doesn't even know her at all. It seems like there was a wall between them made to separate each other. It's like she wasn't able to reach him.
She just remained silent.
Napasinghap siya nang tumikhim si Jacob.
"Elaine." Anito. Awtomatikong nanginig ang kanyang tuhod ngunit nagawa pa rin siyang tumayo ng diretso at ipakita sa kasama na wala itong epekto sa kanya. Sumulyap siya kay Jacob at binigyan ng isang ngiti. "How are you?"
"I'm fine, I guess." Aniya at muling iniwas ang tingin. It was too awkward for her to have a conversation with her ex-fiancé who she left. Ni hindi nga siya makapagsalita ng diretso. Pakiramdam niya ay mauutal siya kapag magsasalita siya. And she doesn't even have guts to ask him how he'd have been. Heck, she can't even say his name out loud!
Silence took all over. Awkwardness were tangible. In fact, she felt uneasiness when she saw his face again. She was eager to go out the lift and leave Jacob alone. Ang tanging nagbigay lamang ng ingay ay ang pagtunog ng elevator na nasa tamang palapag na siya. She hurriedly stepped out the elevator, ngunit kasabay niya sa pagtapak palabas si Jacob. Napatingin siya sa binata. He wasn't even looking at her! At sabay pa silang naglalakad. She stopped when she saw her room, and she saw Jacob stopped at the room beside her.
"You know what, Elaine, I still want you." Anito na ikinalaglag ng susi mula sa kanyang kamay. Pakiramdam niya ay mas lalong bumilis ang tibok ng kanyang puso dahil sa sinabi nito. He can't be serious.
Nilingon niya ito ngunit ang pagsarado na lamang ng pinto ang kanyang naabutan. Umiling na lamang siya at pinulot ang nalaglag niyang susi. And when she opened the door, darkness welcomed her. She walked through the darkness, the only light source is from the lights of the buildings near the hotel, the city lights.
Maluwag ang nakuha niyang kuwarto, there's a glass wall overviewing the city. There is also a terrace where she can see more of the city. The queen sized bed was on the corner and there's a side table next to it, just above the side table was a lamp. The velvet covers made the room romantic, but she's alone so there's nothing romantic about it. Near the bed, there's a two seater sofa bed and center table in front of it. Katapat no'n ay isang flat screen TV na wall mounted. There's also a personal refregirator in the room.
She went to the terrace. She leaned on the railings, her hands against the metal railings for support. She's looking below where the cars were like illuminating little substances. It was her first time to appreciate such view, dahil kapag nag-che-check in siya ay kasama niya ang kanyang mama na lagi siyang pinagsasabihan na kung ano ang importante at kung ano ang mas tamang gawin para sa kagaya niya.
"I know, baby. You don't have to remind me that."
Napalingon si Elaine sa kanyang kaliwa nang marinig niya ang boses ni Jacob. His hand was against the door frame, and he was looking straight. Napalingon ito sa gawi niya, hindi nakaligtas sa kanyang mata ang bahagyang pag-angat ng isang sulok ng labi nito.
"Okay, baby. I love you." He said during their eye contact. Her lips parted as her knees weaken. Mabuti na lamang ay nakahawak siya sa railings kundi ay bumagsak na siya sa sahig. Si Jacob ang unang nagbawi ng tingin, sumunod siya pagkatapos ng ilan pang segundo.
She heaved a deep audible sigh, clutching her chest inside her thoughts. She hates it but the man she left five years ago still has effect on her. It should be over, the feelings, everything. And she hates to admit that his kiss, his touch still lingers in her body. The feeling of him penetrating her sex is still there.
"What happened, Elaine?"
She almost gasped when he suddenly spoke out of nowhere. She stole a glance at him only to find out he wasn't looking at her. Nakahalukipkip ito habang nakasandal sa pader ng terrace nito.
"I beg your pardon?"
"Just forget it," anito at muling pumasok sa hotel room nito.
Narinig naman niya ang itinanong nito ngunit hindi niya maintindihan kung bakit itinanong iyon ni Jacob sa kanya. Anong nangyari? Maraming nangyari.
Pumasok na siya sa loob pagkalipas ng ilan pang minuto. Sinarado na niya ang sliding door na pinto ng veranda, at doon niya napagpasyahan na maligo muna. She sighed as she remembered she has nothing to wear tomorrow. Biglaan lang din naman kasi ang pag-check in niya sa hotel.
She unzipped her dress, which was placed at her back. It's a good thing that she can reach it. The gown she's wearing was a mermaid cut tube gown that makes her curved body defined. Pero ayaw niyang nagsusuot ng mga gano'ng damit kaya pinabayaan na niyang bumagsak ang damit niya sa kanyang paanan. She stepped out of it. The coldness of air touched her bare skin, sending shivers through out her body.
She stepped out of it, then picked it up. She placed it on the bed.
Pumasok siya sa CR para mag-shower, at para burahin ang mga halik ni Jacob na ilang taon nang naroroon, na hindi pa rin nawawala. Padiin ng padiin ang bawat hilod niya sa bawat sulok ng kanyang katawan. Binabad niya ang sarili niya siya malamig na tubig. Nang magsawa siya ay lumabas siya ng CR ng naka-roba lamang na hindi nakatali ng mahigpit, half of her breasts were visible, the rope were sliding off, untangling from each other, as she walk.
"Damn! I knew intruding here is a good idea." Napalingon siya sa couch na naroroon sa kuwarto. She found Jacob there, sitting with his legs crossed. His thumb on his chin and index finger runnging across his lower lip back and forth. He's obviously checking her out, and he looked so sexy doing what he was doing. And as she bit her lower lip, the rope of her robe finally untangled from each other, revealing her body.