[Lucas W. x Arthur A.]
-LA-
Lucas fiddled with the penknife in his hand blankly, his mind drifting off to nowhere. He was still thinking what Arthur said at that time when they were together in his room. About what Arthur had told him, about his feelings and thoughts. He couldn't stop daydreaming about it. He was quite regret it he didn't hold Arthur back from leaving, instead just standing around like an idiot.
Their relationship had been quite complicated with the FWB frill, he actually didn't expect that he would end up liking the black-haired man romantically, nor did he think that his feelings were reciprocated.
However, misunderstandings can be troublesome.
Maybe he was just scared. Scared to admit it, scared to go further, scared that he couldn't maintain their relationship, scared that he would hurt him.
Cowards, indeed.
He was such a wimp, he was more concerned with himself, he was selfish. His ego had always been high. Afraid of getting hurt, he never thought much of others. It always ends bad, never ends well-how could it end well if he always pushed everyone away? Haha.
After all, his expectation of himself was too low, he couldn't overcome his hatred to himself. He had lost many people, he couldn't lose Arthur because of his own stupidity.
Maybe he was halfway there.
The beep from the computer snapped him out of his reverie, he shifted the swivel chair towards the desk and looked at the computer screen. The screen showed that the data transfer was complete, he removed the flash drive quickly.
The mission this time was completed quite well.
He stepped out of the room, through a corridor where several lifeless bodies lay strewn on the marble floor. An ambush in this place was pretty easy, or he might just be taking it lightly and being cocky. Lucas stared at one of the bodies that showed a bit of movement, he frowned and threw his penknife right at the man's nape. Blood dripped from the blade as he drew it languidly, thinking back on Arthur's words again, he let out a heavy breath.
He walked out of the residence checking his phone, he opened his email box and got a new email from his boss.
Another ambush?
Okay, no problem.
It wasn't too difficult to carry out solo attacks like before without a backup squad if you get used to it.
He had been doing this for so long, he couldn't even remember when.
There was no longer any support squad for him.
Lucas stared at Arthur's contacts with a look that couldn't quite be interpreted, he bit his lower lip uneasily. He couldn't shake Arthur's words away at all, did he hurt him? He didn't want their relationship to deteriorate, he didn't want to lose him.
Maybe, there's no harm in trying.
He brought the phone to his ear and stopped under a tree for shelter, he wasn't in England at the moment because his mission required him to go to Netherlands for one week and he didn't get to say goodbye to Arthur at all. He wished Arthur would take his call.
["Luke?"]
A smile appeared on his face. "Hey," he said softly.
["What's up?"]
Lucas was silent, he was now at a loss for words. He didn't know what to answer. "I ..."
I want to say I love you.
"How are you? I flew to the Netherlands without even saying goodbye to the three of you because of some urgent business." Lucas cursed himself inside, why was he such a coward when it comes to love?
["I'm fine."]
Arthur sounded curt and cold, but he could understand the reason why.
["Actually, we are having dinner with William and his family right now. When will you come back from Netherlands?"]
"Maybe three more days." Lucas rubbed the nape of his neck nervously, his heart throbbed warmly hearing Arthur ask when he would be back. "Actually, I ... uh."
["Yes?"]
"I lo-"
Lucas widened his eyes, the heat was stinging, his hand trembled to find a thick red liquid on his fingers when he held his left side of the stomach. He looked back slowly, several people standing not far from him holding a gun.
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
He shouldn't let his guard down in the enemies' cage.
The sound of gunshots was heard again, this time he dodged and quickly hid behind a tree. However, his reflexes were a little slow, his shoulder was hollowed out, blood was gushing in two different places. He was grateful he hung up the call right before that happened. He took a revolver from his trouser pocket and downed one of the opponents with a head shot, then hid behind a tree again. The sound of bullet shots was heard, hitting the tree.
It seemed that he was trapped, he couldn't fight back. He took something from his coat pocket; a smoke bomb which he then threw at them.
He ran, the smoke bomb only slowed them down for a few seconds and they still shot forward, which could have hit him at any moment. As he ran, he held his stomach, it hurt so much. His breath was getting shorter and faster, the people were now chasing him behind while shouting something in Dutch, which he knew it wasn't at all good for his own safety.
Another smoke bomb was thrown by him and he quickly meandered into a narrow alley on the outskirts of town, immediately searching for a location to hide. His eyes darted all over the place, hoping he'd find a place-there it was. It looked like a small rundown abandoned warehouse. Lucas opened the door and closed it tightly, pulling down the dusty curtains on each window, then pushed the old cupboard to block the door.
After that he leaned his back against the wall, slowly his body slumped down. His chest felt very tight, while the pain was increasingly rampant in his right shoulder and stomach, as well as the scars he got from the bullets that had grazed him here and there. Today didn't seem like his lucky day. He panted, trying to reach for air.
He messed up again, he laughed hoarsely. He could barely save himself, let alone have to lose his team a second time? He wasn't a good leader, he couldn't lose his people anymore, or fail in his mission like the time when his nephews had to lose their friend in Victor's laboratory. Not with his selfish-ass.
Maybe this was why he was so cowardly as to tell Arthur the truth about his own feelings, why he accidentally messed up their relationship.
He was still not good enough.
He grabbed his phone again, ignoring his now intermittent breathing and the blood that was still coming out. With trembling fingers, he pressed the contact.
["Lucas? Why did you turn off the call earlier?"]
"Sorry ... just some business."
["If you're busy we can talk later."]
"No-stay here." Lucas winced softly, he closed his eyes and tried to ease the pain. "Are you still having dinner with the others?"
["No, we just finished eating ... are you okay? Luke? You sound hurt."]
He laughed softly. "Yes, I'm doing okay."
["Did something happen?"]
"Not really, I just want to hear your voice." His faint smile plastered on his face.
["Lucas ... you're scaring me."]
A chuckle of laughter escaped his mouth before he coughed up some blood. "Am I? I'm sorry." He stared up at the warehouse ceiling, his vision starting to blur. "It feels nice to listen to you again."
["Why did you say that?"]
"You know, Arthur." His platinum eyes slowly rolled the other way, his smile was warm and meaningful. "I really like you, sorry if I confused you. I do love you."
["Luke ...?"]
He didn't answer the call, his chest felt very tight.
["Lucas?"]
["Lucas, answer me."]
["Luke!"]
["Lucas?"]
["Why are you quiet?"]
["Lucas ...?"]
["Luke ... I love you too ...."]