THE OTHER BROTHER
CHAPTER 48
NGCOBO
I have heard that the first few days in prison can feel traumatizing, especially to the individual who is incarcerated for the first time. That is me. It's like being one of the living dead. Not knowing what's ahead at each stage, I am more afraid of what to find ahead. Being transported from Mtubatuba to Westville Prison in Durban. A lot of scenarios are playing in my head. I feel like a dangerous criminal of South Africa. I am at the back of a big truck with two small police vans on the sides. I am on watch dog. Feels like I would escape. Even if I tried to. My plan will be executed before it can even set up.
I can see the freeway and I just know that I am just nearby. This is devastating to be honest. My kids have abounded me. I have a son out there and I don't even know where to begin to look for him. A dead end has reached. Me trying to look for him was way too late. I am already locked up with no back up. I tried thinking of all the possible ladies I could have laid down with and no one came to mind. It could be much easier if somebody came forward from the go – and it happens that I was the one who denied the pregnancy. At this stage I am literally blank to a point where my mind no longer functions in the way it is supposed to be. No one is on my corner. My guys split and went their separate ways. Everything has fallen apart. Gumede, whom I thought was my friend also showed me another side of him. Tears fill my eyes. I miss my mother at this moment. I know she would have made the situation better. She knew how to calm things down even when it was rough. She had that thing. I was a fool enough not to be the good son that she has always wanted. I blink away in tears. This is my life; I will never see my family again. The only person who stood by me was my wife MaNgcobo till this very end. That woman showed me a strong side of her I never knew existed. I guess I took her for granted. But I know that my mother's house will be left in warm hands, and I do know that my kids will go visit from time to time. I take a deep breath – I hate my life! I can feel us stopping. As we pulled up to the tall gates with barbed wire wrapped around the tops my heart started pounding and my palms got really sweaty. The officer spoke into this box alerting the jail of my arrival. After a few minutes the gates cracked open, and we proceeded deeper into the property where we would then pull up to another gate with barbed wire along top. The waiting time was about ten minutes. Once this gate opened, we pulled in and were at the main entrance for inmates to be processed. I can hear my own heartbeat right on my throat.
The two officers I arrived with got out of the car and let me out of the back truck to walk me up to this large metal door. There was then a very loud long buzzing noise kind of like when someone lets you into an apartment building. The door cracked open, and they brought me inside to stand in this little cell like part with bars while on the other side there is a desk with lots of security guards. Too much security, wardens at the same time. Everyone is looking at me and I am sure they are wondering what this old’s man crime. One guard came up to me with a danger look on his face.
“Your name?” He asks.
“Sixakelile Ngcobo.” He looks at me with his eyebrows narrowed. He shakes his head and chucks.
“I am sure that you followed your name pretty good Sixakekile.” He says it in mockery. One of the reasons why I hated my mother. I wish I had the time to ask her why she named me in that manner. I am sure there is a reason for this name. He then went over to grab a big duffle bag which later I would put all of my possessions in. I am being pushed forward like I refused to cooperate with them. I am told to stand in front of the gate like a statue and I do with no questions asked. I fear for my life. The gate cracked open, and the officers brought me in. These shackles are the heaviest. They make me feel the worst criminal one can find. The environment feels so cold and unsettling. You can tell that a lot of things go down here. They then released me from my shackles and told me to have fun. This place isn't exactly Disneyland. Once the officers left and I was in the hands of the guards.
“Have you ever been into jail before?” One asks standing beside me.
"No." I replied. He nods his head and plays with the keys in his hand.
“So, what were you arrested for?” He continues to ask.
Shamefully I answered. “Fraud.” Again, he nods his head. They began to figure out where to put me. I bet you get to be thrown into a cell according to your arrest. Once that process was done, I was told to follow this one guard that was clearly on steroids around the corner to where he threw the blue duffle bag at me and told me to put all my clothes and everything into the bag. So as this muscle head is standing there staring at me. I start to undress and throw everything into this bag right down to my boxers. I try and give him the bag back and he says...
"The boxers too." I sigh and take them off too. Kids watching my nakedness. Maybe one of them could be my son. I look at both of them trying to spot the resemblance of me. Nothing. I should stop acting like a weird man. When the time is right, I know the lord will make a way for us to meet some day. It may not be now but in years' time. I still have hope and that hope will stay there until, only God decides.
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My first night in prison - other than the few, brief instances of full-on, violent sodomy. It felt traumatizing. I could hear screams here and there. It kept me awake all night. And that made me wonder what was happening. Seriously, it was surreal and scary. But I had to mind my business in a way. I don't even know what time it is. I am still laying on my bunk with a lot of thoughts running through my mind. I wonder how my life will be like in the few years?
MKHULEKO
Eating time is a hassle. I couldn’t eat – infact I can’t eat. I’d pass my food off to someone, drink a cup of juice, then go throw it up. Not because I am afraid of jail, my heart is with Toti. How has she been surviving the world without me. Whoever sold me out made sure that I did not make it out of jail anytime soon. Everything was quick. Too quick for me to be arrested, too quick for me to be convicted. All this happened in one month. It’s like everything was planned out smoothly. They had all the time on their side. I can tell that something is off, but I will not dwell on it – for now. I will strike when I see it fit. I will fight to get out of here and be with the woman of my dreams. I love that girl more than life itself. I close my eyes sharply, taking the pain in. I am just imaging her the time she was told that her man is behind bars. I cannot see her, and I won't agree to see her. I know she wants to see me. I have heard it countless times. I know she has a lot of questions. Some questions I am not even ready to respond to. Will I ever be ready to face her? I doubt I will ever be. She will break and I have worked so hard to make her the woman she is today. The first person I contacted was my brother. He has been there from the get-go. I have been here for three months; everything is just falling apart for me. I got distracted along the way and trust me that was never my intention at all. I slacked off a lot – but it was because of love.
"You have a visitor.” The warden tells me. I stood up from my bunk and followed him shortly. I found Impiyakhe waiting for me already. Today is one of those days that I don’t wish to see anyone I know. I drag my feet, sit down and look at him. He smiles.
"Your father in-law is right beside you."
I have seen him countless times. But I make sure not to be seen by him. This is going to be the longest arrest with the man I hate the most. I take a deep breath.
"Why are you here?” I ask. He pushes two pictures towards me. I pick them up and I can feel my heart being ripped apart. I look at my brother. He looks so peaceful and happy. I have never seen this look on this face even when growing up. I swallowed a huge lump stuck in my throat. I don’t blame her for wanting to move on. Five years is a lot of years, and she is still young. I asked Impiyakhe to keep a close eye on her. I give him back the photos and pretend to smile.
“I am sure it’s nothing harmless.” I speak. Impiyakhe looks at me with eyebrows arched. I know he wants to say something, but I stopped him before he could even utter a word.
“Just keep her safe at all times.” I say standing up and heading back to my cell leaving him seated. I don’t want to be reminded of my failed relationship. I believe everything happens for a reason. Probably she was there for a reason to make me intensely happy in that short period of time. She was there to make me feel what love feels like. My heart still goes pitter-patter when her name pops up. It's more than lust. I felt calm and content around this woman. Everything felt right. I felt like a complete individual. I throw myself on my small bunk and let the tears flow. I exhale out loud and think of my next move when I get out of here. Will I be going home to nothing, or will I get to fight for the girl of my dreams?
AT THE HOSPITAL
“Sir, can you hear me?” One of the doctors asked me while scanning my eyes. My entire body is sore to the core. I tried opening my mouth, but it looked like it was stuck. The bad part is not being able to say anything because of the hose in the throat. The feeling is extremely shocking. Why am I here? Did something happen? I have to be out of here. I am sure Mkhuleko is waiting for me wherever he is. I need to be out of here as in yesterday.
“Blink multiple times if you could hear me.” Another shouts. Why are they screaming on top of their lungs. I can hear the loud and clear. I am not deaf. I blink multiple times as they have requested. Both of them smiled out of relief. Still lost in thought. I am being poked underneath my feet without a warning. I groan in pain. Infact everything is paining to the worst now. Kay – I am now more concerned what landed me here.
“This is a good sign. All nerves are good. Welcome back Sir.” I look around and I am just lost. I wish my voice could come out. I want to ask them how I got here. I try raising my head but my chest shoots a sharp pain across. My inner self grants painfully. The door bursts open and a nurse walk in running followed by my mother and sister behind. Now I am even more confused than I could ever be. What the hell is going on? These people are swimming in a pool of tears. I hate being on mute mode but I have no choice.
IN THE MATERNITY WARD
“We are almost there sisi. Push Mami.” The nurse shouts on top of her lungs. I am exhausted. The pains feel extremely strong menstrual cramps that get progressively more and more intense as time goes. I feel every inch of my inside being ripped apart. This race is not for me. How did I get pregnant again? The first baby came out easily. It was too tiny and so pink. I didn’t get to hold him. He was rushed to only God knows where. I am all alone. Mkhuleko is not here. Khanyi ran out of the room leaving me all alone to figure this out. I swear, when her time comes. I will never be her support system. I will let her fight this battle all alone till Jesus come back. Skhosane, don’t even get me started. It’s like he doesn’t exist. Not that I care – but he should be here with his child. Manqoba’s mother is old school. She said she would wait outside and will come in once the babies were born so she could point to one of their own. After sharing the story of how we met with her son. I saw her eyes judging me, but I couldn’t care less. One thing I will not tolerate – is for my kids to be separated as if they are not twins. They may not have the same father but they were born on the same day just minutes apart. But I am grateful that Genqele has been there throughout. She was there when there were the darkest days in my life. Where I felt like the world had turned its back on me. My family was there too. I know she would have loved to be here but unfortunately...
“Sorry I’m late.” Speak of the devil. I feel myself getting emotional. She comes to my side and holds my hand.
“I told you to wait for me. I guess these ones couldn’t wait any longer.” A soft giggle leaves her mouth. The time she shared that the man I am mourning for is her younger brother. It was hard for me to believe until she showed me evidence. I was so happy no lies. I know that my son will grow up in a warm home.
“Push mamake.” I swear this nurse gets on my nerves with her ugly voice. I will never get pregnant after this.
“It hurts.” I cry. Everything In me is stretching. How big is the virginal hole meant to be during birth. The stadium. I can't take it anymore.
“It shouldn’t. You man is awake.” She says with a wide smile on her face. The pains increase from the perineum, rectum, and low back. The whole room is spinning. Words get stuck in my throat. Something strikes telling me to push hard than I have ever pushed. Something gushes out and I can hear gasps.
“Such a big baby.” That is the last of what I hear.
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I slowly opening my eyes. The roof is spinning. I quickly shut my eyes and open them up again. I try sitting up straight my lower part is tense and cold.
“Ouch.” I cry. Genqele rushes towards me and helps me sit up straight. I look at my belly and it’s down. Where are my babies?” I ask out offer. I am panicking.
“Relax. The babies are fine.” She assures me. I want to see them. I want to hold my babies close to me.
“I want them.”
“I will ask the nurse to bring the baby girl.” I gave birth to a girl too.
“Where is the small baby?” I ask. I don’t have the names of them. I am waiting for Manqoba to wake up.
“He is in the incubator.”
“Why?” I ask. “Isn't that glass meant for kids that were born before time?”
She laughs a bit. “No, if your baby does not have enough body fat to hold their body temperature. This is where they are kept until they are fit to be out of it.”
“Can I see him too?”
“Don't you want to see your man first?” I stop breathing for a second. I scan the room and there he is. Right at the corner with his head bent sitting on a wheelchair. I lift my eyes up and find Genqele looking at me smiling best smile.
“Is that him?” I asked out of shock. I feel my heart stop beating. My mind works overtime. Now I remember. I remember being told that he woke up from the dead. I look at him once more. It is truly him. I feel something inside of ne shift for the better. I have been waiting for this moment from day one. My tears did not go to vein. I cover my mouth in shock, my lower lips quiver. Tears flow out of my eyes.
“I am here now. You have cried for far too long. All is well babe.” His voice is so soft. So soft that it makes me burst out loud with a hurtful cry.