way down we go --- kaleo
♮♮♮
[JJ]
The group wasn't the same. We were broken with no reason to keep going. It seemed like all hope had been lost, and the only glimmer of it we had left was Judith.
On the last run, Tyreese had gotten bitten. Losing him and Beth back-to-back...it made bad things worse. My mind was occupied by the days back at the house in the woods.
I tried to remember only the good parts from it. The happy memories with Lizzie, Mika, Tyreese, Carol, Judith and me. But they quickly turned dark when I thought of how half of the ones who lived there had met a brutal end.
The group split up. Part of us went north, part of us went south, east and west. I decided that I would go off with Carol.
As we walked through the woods, I mostly listened to her talk about how we needed to find supplies fast. Then, when she stopped repeating herself about how we were in dire need of essentials, she said something that really got my attention.
"I'm worried about Daryl." She continued trudging through the maze of trees, careful of where she stepped. "He won't drink, he's only talked to Rick a handful of times...he hasn't mourned Beth."
I nodded, "have we really had time? We've been so focused on not dying, I think we've forgotten who already has." My mind went to the thought of Beth and Tyreese. Both too kind for this world.
"I miss him." Carol stated. "Tyreese. He'd fought so hard."
"I miss all of them. Tyreese, Lizzie, Mika..." My bottom lip quivered, "Beth."
Carol kept walking, "I think she saved my life."
"She for sure saved mine." I followed, "If it wasn't for her, I probably would've never gotten off the streets."
We soon got back to why the conversation started, "Think she saved Daryl's life too. He won't let me help him, JJ."
Carol stopped and looked back at me, so I did too, "he won't even look at me, so not like I'd be much help."
"It's probably cause he's afraid of losing you too."
I shook my head, "I'm sure he'll be fine. He just...needs time." I stood there for a few more seconds before I started leading the way back, "Come on. We're not gonna find anything."
Maggie, Daryl and Sasha got back after a day and a half. Maggie barely spoke to me. And like I told Carol, Daryl...he wouldn't even look at me. We hadn't talked once since before they left the church and I decided to go to DC.
We'd decided to continue to DC, even if there wasn't a cure. Eugene was most likely right- there would supplies, maybe even a safe shelter there. It wasn't enough to keep the faith of the group up, though.
The van came to a stop. "We're out. Just like the other one." Abraham informed.
"Then we walk." Rick stepped out, everyone following.
We walked mostly in silence. A few conversations were had here and there. Daryl and Carol had gone off into the woods, Maggie had snapped at Gabriel and tension between Sasha and Michonne started.
When the walkers started to close in, we used the bridge to our advantage. We'd dodge them as soon as they got close enough to where they'd fall. That was, until Sasha took the plan into her own hands and started taking out the walkers with hand-to-hand.
"Plan just got dicked." Abraham said, swinging at a walker.
I was taking out as many walkers as I could, but they just kept coming, and didn't stop. While I was taking my knife at one, another tried to bite my arm like a freaking corn on the cob. Luckily, Daryl had come back in the nick of time to take it out for me.
It took most of our energy, but we had to keep going.
A little way up the road, we found some abandon cars. There wasn't much left of them. The most Maggie found was a walker in the back of one's trunk. Some girl had been kidnapped, and I know it made her think of her sister. Blonde hair, blues eyes- hell, maybe that was why she wasn't talking to me.
Daryl had disappeared into the woods for a second time, starling the group when he returned through the broken trees.
Finally, the silence was broken when Abraham took out a bottle of whiskey.
"So, all we found was booze?" Tara asked.
Rosita answered her, "yeah."
"That's not gonna help."
"He knows that."
"It's gonna make it worse."
"Yes, it is." Rosita responded.
"He's a grown man. I truly do not know if things can get worse."
"They can." Rosita deadpanned.
I looked at Abraham drinking out of the bottle like it was water. I didn't really think things could get much worse, so, I gave in and put my hand out. He didn't think twice before he handed it over to me.
Maggie looked over at me, "she just said it's gonna make things worse."
I didn't look back, but simply said, "yep."
Our attention was brought to the other side of the road. The bushes rustled and a pack of wild dogs came through, barking at us like we were gonna be their next meal.
Sasha effortlessly took them out, without a single emotion to show.
I mean, shit, even Daryl hesitated.
We ate in silence. It was a new low for us, and no one wanted to acknowledge it. I looked to Daryl, who said just a few feet away from me, then down to the rest of my meal.
"Here." I handed the rest of my portion to him. "Take it as a thank you for earlier." I thought about how I almost became a walker meal if he hadn't've caught it. I stood up, not giving him a chance to say something if he wanted to. "I'll take first watch."
♮♮♮
[POV]
In the morning, they continued on, dreading the journey. By now, they'd lost even more hope, which they didn't know was possible.
JJ drug up the rear with Sasha, Abraham and Daryl. It was midday and Abraham had already pulled out the liquor, which he offered JJ...and she graciously took.
Then, he offered it to Sasha, who was looking for a reason to pick a fight, so he gave up.
"Daryl." Glenn fell back from Maggie, trying to get Daryl to drink. He refused, so Glenn tried again. "Daryl."
"Don't."
"Hey, we can make it together. But we can only make it together."
Daryl began to slow, branching off from the group. "Tell 'em I'm looking for water."
JJ walked a few more steps, before also slowing and looking into the tree line. Carol's words from their previous conversation played in her mind. She huffed, turning to Abraham, "what he said."
JJ trudged through the overgrown woods to follow Daryl. She had no idea what she was going to say to him, but she felt wrong letting him go off from the group again.
When she found him, he was leaned up against a large oak, with a cigarette in hand, which he then pressed to the top of his hand.
She sighed, but her presence didn't surprise him. Either that, or he just didn't care.
"The hell you out here for?" He continued to look out at a lone rundown barn sitting on the edge of a large, grassy field.
JJ sat down beside him without saying a word. They sat like that for a moment, before Daryl mumbled, "you got somethin' to say, say it."
"Do you want me to say something?"
"Usually runnin' your mouth about somethin'."
JJ huffed, pulling herself off the ground, "fine. I can just leave."
"S'what you're good at." He mumbled as he dropped the cigarette to the ground, looking down at it.
She stopped and turned back, "excuse me?"
"You heard me."
"What the hell's that even supposed to mean, that I'm good at leaving?" JJ snipped.
"Forget it."
"Fine." She turned to leave again. She didn't want to, though.
As hard as he tried not to, Daryl cried. He grieved Beth and what he'd lost in Atlanta.
JJ stopped, realizing that what Carol said might have been true. She decided to find her cool and sat back down. "Actually, I probably can't find my way back."
JJ spoke with a calm, soft voice, which wasn't her typical nature. "Daryl, what did you mean? That I'm good at leaving?"
"The prison...Terminus...the church." He listed. "Beth was there, then she wasn't. I can't lose you too."
Carol was right.
"You're not." She assured him. "And it's not like I wanted to leave...well, maybe at the church, but that's only because I thought you weren't coming back. And now that we're on the subject, technically you left first...with Merle at the prison." JJ's voice lightened the mood. She put her hand on the side of his face, getting him to look at her. "I'm not planning on dying anytime soon, so if you want, you can start talking to me again." She moved her hand from his cheek to pushing the hair out of his eyes.
JJ intertwined her arm with Daryl's and laid her head on his shoulder. "If you can't lose me, I can't lose you."
Daryl paused. "You ain't."
As they got up to leave, JJ stood in front of Daryl.
"It's gonna get better." She smiled, gently kissing his cheek before they went back to the others.
♮♮♮
The two walked back to the rest of the group, greeted with a letter attached to some water bottles. From A Friend, it read.
"What else are we gonna do?" Tara asked.
"Not this." Rick answered her. "We don't know who left it."
The group was on point, guns ready and facing every which way, preparing for their 'friend'.
Eugene eyed the water, "if that's a trap, we' already happen to be in it. But I, for one, would like to think it is indeed from a friend."
"What if it isn't? They put something in it?" Michonne morbidly suggested.
Rosita watched as Eugene went for the water, screwing off the cap, "Eugene, what are you doing?"
"Quality insurance."
Abraham didn't let him even taste it before he smacked it out of his hand.
"We can't." Rick enforced.
The group's attention went to above as thunder started to rumble and the bottom of the cloud fell out. Rain began to pour, showering the group.
Most of them were excited and relieved about the water, all except Maggie, Sasha and Daryl. Sure, they might've been relieved, but it would take a lot more than rain to raise their spirits.
Tara was the first to lie on her back in the road, then Rosita and JJ quickly joined her.
"Everybody get the bags. Anything you can find." Rick told them, setting out bottles and containers. The storm was getting worse, and Judith began to fuss. "Let's keep moving."
"There's a barn." Daryl mentioned.
It was empty, for the most part. They'd only found one walker in the side room. It was shelter, though. Some of them sat around the fire while the others found different spots of the barn to call theirs for the night.
JJ noticed as Rick looked to Carl with worry. "He's gonna be okay. He bounces back more than any of us do."
"I used to feel sorry for kids that have to grow up now. In this. But I think I got it wrong. Growing up is getting used to the world. This is easier for them."
"This isn't the world." Michonne told him. "This isn't it."
Glenn looked back to Maggie, with the same worry that Rick had. "It might be. It might."
"That's giving up." Michonne seemed to have hope, which JJ envied.
"It's reality." Glenn reasoned.
"Until we see otherwise, this is what we have to live with." Rick went on, "when JJ and I were kids, I asked our grandpa once if he ever killed any Germans in the war. He wouldn't answer. He said that was grown-up stuff, so..." JJ remembered that conversation vividly. "So, then JJ asked if the Germans ever tried to kill him. But he got real quiet. He said he was dead the minute he stepped into enemy territory. Every day he woke up and told himself, 'rest in peace, now go to war'. And then after a few years of pretending he was dead, he made it out alive. And that's the trick of it, I think. We do what we need to do and then we get to live. But no matter what we find in DC, I know we'll be okay. Because this is how we survive. We tell ourselves...that we are the walking dead."
JJ looked down at the fire, but she still felt Daryl's eyes skim over her, before he looked to Rick, "We ain't them."
"We're not them. Hey. We're not." Rick told him.
Daryl stood up, "we ain't them."
♮♮♮
[JJ]
Rick's words played over and over again in my mind, keeping me from sleeping. Not like that was the only thing keeping me from sleeping. I sat against the wall, next to Carl and Judith, as the others slept, or tried to at least.
I looked over to Daryl, who was pacing in front of the barn doors. Then, something caught my eye when lightning lit up the field outside. I quickly stood up and went over, causing Daryl to question me.
The two of us both saw it- about 40 or so walkers outside the doors, without a reason to turn away. Daryl was the first to try to hold the doors closed, then I joined in. Soon, the whole group was fighting the walkers to keep the doors shut.
It was difficult to keep our ground. The mud slid from under our feet, and all of us shared the same frightened looks.
We fought long, but eventually the storm died down, and so did the walkers.
Rest came easy after that.
The only reason I woke up was thanks to Maggie and Daryl's loud ass conversation. It probably wasn't even that loud, I was just closest to them. I sat up, propping myself up with my hands. "Do you two have to talk so loud? Some of us are trying to sleep."
"We were hopin' it'd wake ya. Your snorin' was getting old." Daryl commented, causing Maggie to smile.
I rolled my eyes and brushed my hands off.
Maggie stood up, "come on. Let's go check things out."
"Now? But it's like...early. I'm pretty sure the sun just came up."
"Come on, JJ." Maggie repeated.
I groaned, standing up and brushing the rest of myself off and looking to Daryl. "Maybe now you'll be able to sleep since I'm done snoring."
"The peace will be nice at least."
"Oh, whatever. I don't snore." I fought.
"JJ." Maggie quietly called again. When I got closer to her, she took Daryl's side, "You do, too."
The air outside was muggy and the grass still had that morning dew glaze. The storm had taken care of the walkers for us. They were impaled by tree limbs and smushed by fallen branches.
The sunrise over the field was something worth getting up early for. Maggie and I sat on a tree stump, watching it.
"This why you brought me out here?"
"Figured you've never seen one before since you usually sleep till noon."
"Fair." I shrugged, "Maggie, I'm sorry about Beth."
"I'm sorry too."
I looked to her, unsure of what she meant.
Maggie explained, "I've been avoiding you."
"I've noticed." I pursed my lips. "I figured it was because I reminded you of who you lost."
"I thought it was that, too. But it's not...exactly that." She continued, "It's not because you remind me of Beth, but because...you remind me of Beth."
"Okay, you do realize you just said the same thing twice, right?"
"I mean, you're not like Beth at all other than your blonde hair and blue eyes. She was kind, and soft-spoken and always saw the best in people. And you-" Maggie looked to me.
I looked to her too, waiting, "Go on, finish that sentence. I dare you."
She laughed. "You're you."
"That's a nice way of saying I'm the exact opposite."
"Well..." Maggie shrugged, becoming serious again, "I think why I've been avoiding you is because we wouldn't be friends if it weren't for her."
"Yeah," I nodded, looking down at my boots, "I think about that too."
"Which hasn't been fair to you."
"Maggie, you've been through shit. I mean, we all have, but you most of all. You're allowed to be mad at the world. And if you need to be mad at me, you can. Just know I'm here when you're ready."
She tightly hugged me, "you're my other sister, JJ. Beth's too. And you're someone I don't want to lose."
"You are the second person to tell me that in two days. I am feeling really loved around here." I remarked, somewhat sarcastically.
Maggie took my hand, "I don't know what I'd do in this world if it weren't for you and Glenn."
"Sure you do. You'd survive. You're a badass, Maggie Greene."
She smiled, squeezing my hand before taking hers back.
A few minutes went by before Maggie went back to that little side comment I made. "Wait, who else told you that they didn't want to lose you?"
"Oh," I scoffed, "just Daryl."
She smirked, turning her head towards me, "Just Daryl? There anything else you wanna tell me about?"
I breathed deeply, wrapping my arm in hers and leaned against her, laughing. "Just a schoolgirl crush."
"Hey. Hi." A man's voice we didn't recognize came from our right. Both of us stood up, pulling our guns on him. "I didn't mean to interrupt. Good morning. My name's Aaron. I know, stranger danger. But, um, I'm a friend. I'd like to talk to the person in charge. Rick, right?"
"How do you know-" Maggie started.
"Why?" I questioned on top of hers.
Aaron held his arms up in surrender and looked down to the ground.
"I have good news."
a/n: happy monday:)