Reviewer: -cookiesnmilk
Title: Mystery Of Crime
Author: kiyowo333
Title:
To be honest, I have no idea what I should rate this title. It's just not it. With this title, you tell your readers the genre of your story. Nothing about the story. Nothing to intrigue them. Nothing to make them ask, "What's going on here?"
Every crime is a mystery until it's solved. Almost all mystery/thriller books revolve around a crime which doesn't make sense. You literally just said that in your title. The readers know that already. Come up with a title about the crime. What exactly is the mystery?
Cover:
Again, I won't rate it. Your cover looks like a picture taken from google and some text written on it. How is it related to your story? The colour of the text doesn't suit the background, either.
There are many designers on Wattpad who can make a cover for you. If you want suggestions, feel free to ask.
Blurb:
Your blurb is littered with mistakes. And then it tells me nothing about the plot except that someone killed a woman. In almost every mystery/thriller book, there's a murder. It's so common that you can't hook your readers by simply telling them that there's going to be a murder.
You can increase your readers' curiosity by talking about the mystery of the crime, its nature, and why it makes everyone grab their head.
Since your blurb is very short, you can add more. If you really want to include the excerpt, write it in a separate section in the blurb.
You say, "The mystery behind the Case 127 and project 127."
First of all, it should be, "The mystery behind Case 127 and Project 127." And secondly, your readers don't know what case 127 and project 127 are. Why should they care? Tell them something which intrigues them. What's so special about these two?
In my opinion, you shouldn't say, "Enjoy reading," in your blurb. Let your readers decide whether they'll enjoy it or not.
Plot/Writer's Craft/Characters/Punctuation and Grammar:
I'm going to be very honest; your work is not a novel yet. It's a simple outline. The main scenes of a novel. Just an idea on the paper.
For it to become a complete first draft, you need to put a lot of effort into it. Plot your book scene by scene, develop your characters, plot twists, and then write it. Focus on your description, narration, and writer's craft.
I can't say anything about the plot because there is nothing yet. I'm sure you've read a lot of novels. Tell me yourself, are they just simple scenes? Just a plot told to the reader? No. The readers see the story as if it's being played in front of them. They see real humans, not characters. They see a completely different world, not just a plot.
Your grammar and punctuation needs a lot of help. Maybe it's because you haven't edited your work yet, but if you have any confusion you can ask me in PMs. If you want links that can help you, I'll attach them inline.
If you need any kind of assistance in plotting your story, do not hesitate to PM me.