All I could do was stare at him. I couldn't do anything as we were standing opposite to each other, none of us moving.
"... Klara?"
His voice woke my body up, making me shiver in fear. I couldn't look at him the same way I used to do, finally knowing who he was. I took a few steps back, not breaking eye contact with him. "S-Stay away!" My panic got the best of me. He looked hurt, as if he was in pain, but he didn't say anything. Suddenly, I heard a car stopping next to us. Johan glanced at it, sighing.
"I guess that's it."
I stared at him in confusion.
"KLARA!"
The familiar voice made me wince. I turned to the car. Totally perplexed, I faced the person coming out of the car.
"D-Dad?"
It was him. Even after not seeing him for so many years, I could recognise him right away. He ran over to me, holding his arm in front of me as he faced Johan, glaring at him.
"Don't come a step closer to her!"
Johan first looked at him, then lowered his head. "I won't." He paused for a moment, sighing again, his eyes filled with emptiness.
"I'll take my leave. Don't worry, Klara. I promise I won't do anything to your family, and I never intended to. I assume this is farewell, then."
With those words, he turned away, leaving the two of us alone, the bouquet still lying on the ground.
My father sighed out of relief, standing upright again. "Get into the car, Klara."
"Why?"
"I said get into the car!"
Rolling my eyes, I sat on the passenger's seat as we left my street.
"Why are you even here?", I asked him reproachfully.
"Leo told me about Johan. He mentioned that you visited home and brought someone with you." He fastened his seat belt, then crossed the next junction. "I told Leo to leave home with your mother for a week. She doesn't know why, however. And don't tell her. She'll get angry again, and I don't have the energy to cope with this right now."
"Where are we going, then?", I asked.
"To Bremen, one hour away. I'm currently on a business trip there."
"I don't want to go."
He sighed. "This is for your own safety, Klara. You've become a victim of Johan, after all." I could see his arms were shaking. I sighed.
"I just found out about his past, and believe me, I am shocked, but Johan never did anything to me."
"Oh, he let some of his victims alone, until he murdered them, anyway. Don't be so naive, Klara. I know who he is. How far did your connection with him go?"
"That's none of your business."
"And you're saying he didn't manipulate you into anything? He didn't do anything to you?"
"No!"
"... Did he sleep with you?"
"NO, damn it! Why would that even bother you?"
"He must have had a reason to get romantically involved with you, maybe because you're my daughter. Maybe he wanted to get you pregnant, I don't know..."
"What the heck, Dad?"
"Trust me, he is capable of anything. He knows countless ways to make people suffer."
I had to internally calm myself down before my answer.
"...You know, if you're so concerned about my well-being, let me get out of here, because just sitting next to you is suffering."
"Come on, Klara, there are more important things now than discussing the past."
"That's not true! Don't you understand how angry I am?" I knew I had to calm down, but I lost control of myself. "You haven't been a part of my life for decades and suddenly return, seemingly worried about me? Where have you been all these years? While you were away working yourself to death, I had to endure mother's terror at home, and all you did was divorce her when you had enough! You were never there for me! You know, the time I spent with Johan was the best time of my life! You cannot imagine what horrible things I went through in the past, but back then, I was on my own, without anyone to help!"
Breathing heavily, I tried to get hold of myself again. My father was silent for a while, staring at the Autobahn, until he finally replied.
"I know I haven't been the best father to Leo and you."
That's an understatement.
"I should have been there for you instead of escaping home myself. I'm sorry."
I couldn't help but tearing up. It weren't tears of relief, though. I was rampaging inside, disappointed that we only had this conversation when it was too late.
It was almost evening when we arrived in Bremen. As expected, my father was staying in a luxurious hotel. Me, without any luggage and wearing a sweater and having unkempt hair, looked like a hobo beneath the golden chandeliers, but I couldn't care less.
My father gave me keys. "These are for your room, fifth floor, right next to my room. Stay there for the night. We can think about the next steps tomorrow." Though he had trouble being caring towards me, I could tell he tried his best. He tried to look into my eyes, but it was hard for him. Eventually, I went into my room, falling down on the sofa. The moment I lied down, finally alone, I couldn't hold my tears back. I wasn't even sobbing, but the tears streamed down sideways on my face as I was completely lonely and helpless, trying to process everything that happened the past 24 hours. Not only that - other situations came to my mind - things I had considered jokes, but it had been reality all along.
"Wasn't there a time in your life when someone else prepared food for you?" "No, not really. Though there was a time when my hitman made delicious cocoa for me..."
"Hey, look who's talking! What have you done to commit five crimes?" "Which story do want to hear first?" "Yeah. Yeah. I can't imagine you did something terrible. Did you drink twenty beers before your sixteenth birthday?"
Had he fooled me all along? I remembered his short smile today, holding the flowers in his hand. I didn't want it to be an act of manipulation, I didn't want to believe it.
"I'll take my leave. I assume this is farewell, then."
And I didn't want him to leave forever. Remembering his empty expression as he said these words tore me apart. I missed him so much... I wanted him to be there, now that it became night, to hold me like he did one week ago, to protect me from the hardships I was facing now...
But the truth was, he wasn't here. And I didn't know if he'd ever come back.