Abrianna
Drying my tears, I pulled away from Cervantes. He cupped my face and brushed my cheeks with his thumb. He also tucked the loose strands of hair behind my ear.
"I'm sorry, love." That's the nth time he said those words and I didn't get it why he kept on apologizing. Even though I wanted to ask him, I'm afraid he'd just ignore it again, so I opted to remain silent. His one hand was behind my back, gently soothing me while the other one was caressing the back of my palm.
"I'll get you some water." He suddenly uttered. I got alarmed that I quickly gripped the hem of his shirt the moment he stood up. He looked at me full surprised. "Stay, please." His eyes were glued on my hand that was holding his shirt. Hesitance was written on his face, unsure what to do. He swallowed. "I'll be back real quick. You need to drink, love."
Umiling ako agad. "I'm fine. Just stay here. Please." I couldn't even recognize my own voice and I was pretty sure I looked like a kid at the moment but I just wanted him to stay. I don't want him to leave. It might take him long again before he would return.
"Okay." He grabbed my hand that was gripping his shirt and held it gently. "I'll stay." He took back his seat and I felt relieved. We stayed silent while I was calming myself and he was just on my side helping me.
A couple of minutes passed by before I moved.
"Do you need anything?" I nodded. "I want to wash up." I don't want to wake up with puffy eyes.
He nodded and helped me stand up. As soon as I got up, he looked away. It was quick that if I wasn't observing him, I wouldn't have noticed. He even swallowed. Napataas tuloy ako ng kilay nang wala sa oras. Then, he cleared his throat. "Come on. I'll accompany you."
Nauna akong pumasok sa banyo at sumunod naman siya pero hindi nakaligtas sa pandinig ko ang komento niya. "You're not wearing slippers again." It was followed by a sigh.
Wetting my hands, I gently dumped them on my eyes including my cheeks. Cervantes was just silently watching me, waiting while leaning against the door post.
Hinarap ko siya pagkatapos.
"Are you done?"
I shook my head. "I'm gonna pee, so I need you to move."
His lips went "O" before he nodded then stepped aside. Siya na rin ang nag-close ng door. But of course, I locked it inside. I don't trust him not to suddenly barge in. After doing my thing, I went out. Cervantes was now sitting on the edge of the bed. Our eyes met and I suddenly felt conscious and awkward. He
was staring at me intently, like he was watching my every move. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung lalapit pa ba ako sa o hindi.
"Stop staring, will you?"
I slightly moved my feet because I was feeling the coldness of the floor now. He followed my movement and because I was wearing a mid-thigh satin dress, his eyes stopped on my exposed thighs. That's when I realized why he looked uncomfortable earlier. Shit. Agad akong tumakbo papunta sa kama at pumailalim sa makapal na blanket. He lowly chuckled that made me glare at him.
"Pervert."
He grinned. Inirapan ko siya at tinalikuran. Mas lalo siyang natawa dahil doon. I felt him move behind my back as we settled ourselves.
"Luke..." It broke the silence.
"Hmm.."
"Are we not going to talk?"
"Are you feeling okay already? Do you want us to talk right now?" There was something in his tone that made me feel bliss. Was he thinking of me all this time? Is that why he was reluctant to open up earlier?
Hindi pa ako nakakasagot nang marinig ko siyang bumuntong hininga. "Because I honestly wanted us to talk tomorrow. After seeing you cry earlier, I don't think I could let you go through it again. You wanted us to talk, I understand, but I wanted you to rest. You haven't had a proper rest yet after meeting an accident and I don't want to drain you. I'll be here tomorrow. I won't go anywhere. We could talk everything out." His voice was calm and patient. "Is that okay with you, love?"
I cannot help but bit my inner cheek as I felt something warm inside me. It was refreshing, like a breath of fresh air.
"Okay. We'll talk tomorrow."
I felt him moved. "Thank you, love. Rest well." The moment his lips touched the crown of my head, I calmed and my eyelids dropped on their own. "Good night."
**
"You said you went and consulted Attorney Rivedo for our annulment..." He already told me the reason why he got home late yesterday night. Apparently, it was all because he got soaked up by his thoughts of finding a way to make our annulment possible that he lost track of time. It didn't also help that he felt frustrated because our families' debt was making our separation impossible and he couldn't seem to find a way. He felt ashamed to face me, the reason he ignored my calls and acted distant when he arrived. I understood, so I didn't make a big deal out of it anymore. But one thing didn't make sense while he was sharing.
"..why did you go to such extent when you don't even want it in the first place?" He was against the idea of annulling our marriage. He made it clear based on his reaction the other day. But why did he still choose to make an effort for it? No matter how I racked my brain to come up with a possible reason, I just couldn't.
No one was breaking our eye contact. I think neither of us want to miss each one's emotion.
"Because you wanted it."
I blinked a few times.
"Come again?"
Did I hear it right?
He looked at me intently. "I don't want us to separate but because you wanted it, I tried to give it to you."
My jaw dropped. "You mean you did it for me?"
"Why do you sound surprised?" I quickly hit him with a pillow when he raised me an eyebrow.
"Because you seem so cool saying it!"
"What about it?"
Oh god. How could he act so calm and chill about it while my brain just caught off guard? I didn't expect he'd be that blunt! I mean, yes, I asked for it but seriously? He really did it just because I asked for it. "Does that mean that you never thought of you know .. us being done to each other?"
Halos gusto ko na siyang suntukin nang muli niya akong taasan ng kilay. His eyes were also staring at me like I just uttered an alien language.
"Are you seriously asking me that?"
Ngumuso ako. Fine. I get it. It was pretty obvious that separation was never a considerable idea for him. It was all me who brought it up. So, fine, my mistake. Tumikhim na lang ako bago umayos ng upo at muling nagtanong bago pa mapunta kung saan ang usapan namin. "If it wasn't because of our families' debt, would you still make our separation possible?" This was also one of those questions that bugged me during his explanation. I mean how far did he go and would he go?
He sighed like this topic is irritating him at the same time bothering him. I knew there are also some other important things we got to talk about but I cannot just slide this annulment topic because there were things that I need to know from his side. I'm just grateful that he's letting me take over this talk.
"If you are dying to be away from me and if I wouldn't be able to change your mind, then I guess.. I have to set you free."
He would do that? "Even if our families' companies our merged?" Hindi ko mapigilang idugtong kahit sa loob-loob ko ay nagsisimula nang magwala.
"Our families' business doesn't need to be considered."
"So, what if.. what if our families' debt to the Hontiveros is finally settled.. will you still process our papers?" I got nervous while asking him that. Because situation-wise, our debt is really blocking the processing of our papers but what if it's paid already? Itutuloy niya pa ba?
"Would you ask me to?"
Natahimik ako. I looked away when I couldn't take his serious stares anymore.
Do I still want an annulment? NO. It may be hard to believe and cliché as it may sound but I realized now that I don't want him to be away from me. I wanted him to stay. I wanted to just be on his side. I honestly do. But whenever I think of our situation, I just couldn't find the strength to say it to him. This relationship. This marriage. How our families are in a complex situation now. Everything's just a mess that I even question what this relationship has stored for us anyway? We're married but our relationship is plain vague and complicated. I don't have a clue where this relationship is heading. I don't know how should we work things out and I have no idea where to stand. It is basically one of the reasons why I asked for an annulment. Magulo.
His hand caressed my palm. I unconsciously looked at it. My eyes landed on our still empty ring fingers. This is exactly my dilemma in our relationship. Kasal nga kami pero wala namang ni isa sa amin ang may suot na singsing. I don't know his side but I guess he also has his own reasons just like my mine.
He squeezed my hand. "Tell me what's running in that pretty head of yours, love."
Pinagmasdan ko siya. His eyes were now gentle but they were clearly on the edge, waiting for my reaction. I wasn't aware I spaced out. He was also kinda nervous yet still looking dominantly calm. I wonder how he does that. Humugot ako ng hininga at talagang inaabangan niya kung ano ang sasabihin ko.
"After our families have settled everything to the Hontiveros, what happens next?" he was caught off guard as expected. Malayo naman kasi nang tanong ko sa usapan namin kanina. Maybe he was expecting something negatively different from me kaya ganoon. Akala ko tuloy pipilitin niya akong sagutin muna ang tanong pero hindi. He still chose to answer.
He held my hand tighter and stared at me softly. "We fix US. Our relationship, how should we do things, what's in it for you, what's in it for me and what's in it for the two of us. We figure things out together."
"Only us?"
He nodded. "Yes. The two of us."
"So, you'll not continue with our separation anymore?"
Umiling siya. "I'll not, unless you'll desperately want me to." Tinitigan niya ako ng seryoso. It was the similar gaze he gave me earlier, bold and serious but this time, there is fear in them, and I get it now. He was communicating to me his feelings while letting me take over our talk.
"Are you going to?" Mahinahanon lang ang pagkakasambit niya pero ramdam ko doon ang pangamba niya. I was muted, lost of what to say next. I heard him gently drew a breath. "Because if you'll agree with me on making this marriage work this time, I'll promise to do my part and I want you to do yours as well. ..That's all I'm asking because I cannot fix this on my own just as I cannot let you do all of this alone, too. I need you to work things out with me and I also need to work things out with you. We're one in this, so we've got to work together. I know I had my lackings. I failed you. I disappointed you, and even had you frustrated and furious, but I don't want to repeat them over again when there's a way not to. I.. I want to do things right with you and for you. We'll still continue with our normal days, no pressure, only that this time, we seek each other. I know I am asking too much but I need you on this one, love." Mahigpit niyang hinawakan ang kamay ko. "So, do you, Abrianna, accept to work things out with me starting today as we continue with our lives?"
It sounded like a vow that I cannot help but chuckle lowly. I never expected to hear something earnest from him. And he was right. He cannot do this all alone just as I cannot do this alone, too. We've got to do things as one and I agree with him. We failed to do that previously and I guess, it's just right that we learned from it. I drew a deep breath as well, gave him a smile, and decided to answer him the way he asked me. "Yes. I, Abrianna, do promise to work things with my legal husband, Luke Warren, starting today onwards, as we continue with our lives as couple who happens to decide to figure things together just today."
He must not have expected that kind of response from because his face clearly showed pure shock. Well, he started. He said we need to work things out together. So, yeah, here it is. He let out a chuckle nang makabawi siya sa gulat. Napailing siya at tinitigan rin ako sa mata. "I, Luke Warren, also do promise to work things out with my wife, Abrianna, and to do better as the man in this marriage. I also promise to take good care of her and treat her well and right as she deserves."
"You should. I mean, it would be a shame if you won't right?" I gave him a challenging look. Natawa siya nang mahina dahil doon. Hindi ko tuloy mapagiling mapangiti rin.
It was already pass lunch time when we decided to go downstairs. We talked quite a lot. I opened the topic about paying the Hontiveros and he was patient in sharing with me the details. Our parents have already set a meeting with the Hontiveros and anytime this week, they would settle things. Hindi ko na tinanong kung magkano ba ang hinihingi ng kabilang pamilya. I would eventually find out. He also told me to prepare myself if I would want to take part in the meeting. Ayaw niya noong una na makisali ako pero noong tinananong ko siya na what if makikisali ako sa meeting ay iyan ang naging sagot niya.
There were things which were still left unsaid but just like what we have agreed upon, we'll communicate and work things out together. Besides, we both learned our lesson. Pareho kaming maraming naging pagkukulang sa nakaraan and both of us reflected on them. The future is unknown, forever it will be, but then we've got plenty of time to make the most out of what we have. I wouldn't call it a new beginning rather a continuation of our life as it basically is. Taking things better than previously done doesn't necessarily equate to a new chapter nor a fresh beginning. Sometimes, to continue is what it takes, and that's what we're doing. We don't need to start anew to always improve.
He busied himself frying the carrots and potatoes while I concentrate on preparing the garlic and onion. Were going to cook spicy chicken adobo "his way" for our lunch, so might as well give it a try. I was washing placing the spices in their bowls when he decided to ask me something that I never thought of since the accident.
"What's your plan about your work?"
It even made me stopped for a moment because I really forgot about it. Come to think of it, Jena never called me. I also never received anything from work. Even from Dylan. I guess the issue was that internally bad huh? And speaking of him, I think I need to talk to Dylan one of these days. What Cervantes said a few days ago about him being the mastermind of all that New York issue still lingers in my head. How could he stoop that level?
"I'll talk to Dylan first .. then, resign." I think it was now time to do so. Nakakapanghinayang lang 'yong mga bagay na nasimulan ko sa company nila. Pero kung iisipan ko rin, it's a good thing that all the projects I started were taken away from me because it made it easier to resign―
Wait.
"When do you plan to talk to him?"
"I'm not yet sure." I silently dried my hands. Since all my projects were now transferred to someone, which means that if I suddenly resign then I don't need to worry about paying any damage fee because I have no pending projects, does that mean Dylan just helped me made my resignation easier, coating it badly with that so-called punishment? Is that it? Because that's exactly how it's gonna work now when I submit my resignation letter. I've got no pending work I don't need to worry about anything else anymore. Cervantes was now frying the chicken. I really need to talk to Dylan ASAP. "But surely, it will be one of these days. I haven't heard anything from him yet."
He faced me. "Do you want me to accompany you?"
I shook my head and moved towards him. I grabbed from him the tong. He let me and I flipped the chicken. "Just drive me to our meeting place if ever."
"No problem."
"How about you? No work today?" Because as far as I know, they should be preparing for the compensatory prize now, right?
"Maybe, next week."
"Shouldn't you be working your ass off now that there's something to pay to the Hontiveros family?"
He shook his head. "I gave it to the old men to handle. They've just got to keep me updated every time."
"Bossing the oldies eh."
Mahina siyang natawa dahil doon. He's now sautéing the garlic and onion. "It was their mess to clean. Not that we should be nonchalant about it. Let's just not fix what they have caused."
I agree with him. Our parents created the mess, so they should fix it. We should not do it for them. We can surely help but certainly, we won't do the entire fixing. "Makes sense." He grinned.
The whole time we're in the kitchen, we took turns, complementing each one's work. He prepared our food. I prepared our plates. He cleaned the tables and counters, I did the dishes. It was a give-take scenario and I loved it. That afternoon, we decided to go for a spa. Scratch that. I decided to visit one and he basically tagged along. I think I need to relax for a bit.
"You sure you don't want to avail any of their service? Their body message is great." I was all prepped up and ready for everything but here he was seated and busy browsing a news magazine. Kanina ko pa siya kinukulit na subukan man lang kahit anong service nila dito pero talagang ayaw niya. I don't even get it why he came along if he won't try their service.
"I'm all good."
"Are you sure? It would take 3 hours max before I'm done." That's one thing that I'm concerned of. I booked quite a number of their services here as usual, so it would take that long before I'm all done. It was his fist time coming with me here in a spa so he might get bored for sure.
"Don't mind me here, love. Just take your time. I just really tagged along to accompany you."
Fine. If he says so. "Okay. Beep be then if something's up."
Napabuntong hininga siya na parang nakukulitan na siya sa akin. Tinaasan ko tuloy siya ng kilay. Tumayo siya at lumapit sa akin. He held both of my shoulders and turned me around. I almost lost my balance. "I'm not gonna disturb your self-time, so get inside now love, pamper yourself." He gently pushed me inside. I had no choice but to step in. "I'll wait for you in the receiving area."
Hinarap ko siya agad pero bago 'yon naramdaman ko ang pagdampi ng labi niya sa ulo ko. He grinned when he saw my annoyed face. "Enjoy, wife."
I playfully rolled my eyes but I was pretty sure that a smile was painted on my face.
•••••