Ow!
What the heck?
Ow!
Oh, no! Not those!
Tuck, tuck, tuck!
I feel like I can't breathe.
This is a disaster!
Beauty is pain, they weren't lying were they?
Why is this hard?
Standing in the mirror I rubbed my hair down as I looked at my coated eyes, I didn't look anything like Sheila. I've watched videos on how they did the wings on their eyelids. But, I was horrible at it, so the line just ended. The darkness did bring out my eyes, but it didn't look anything like me. The foundation felt oily and sticky. And I hated it! Truthfully, I hated everything about this, I didn't feel like Victoria at all, I felt like a whore. I had found a really tight tank top, and used my extra padding bra. Pushing my breast up for the illusion that I had more than I really did. A thin, yet tight long light green shirt rested around my belly button, showing a little bit of my skin. The cotton stretched as it rested around my knuckles. The opening to my chest was wide enough to show off every inch of my chest. I had pulled on a tight pair of light blue jeans.
The jeans were ripped around my thighs, so I had to put a pair of tights under my pants. A belt wrapped around my hips even though I didn't need it. On my computer I was looking at pictures as I shoved my feet in high heel boots. I scratched my head as I leaned down to look at the photos. Looking at my reflection I parted my hair and brushed through the thick layers as I pulled my shirt down. I wanted to smack myself as I looked at the dark make up I was wearing. I took a deep breath and tried to hype myself up. This didn't feel right, why would anyone want to dress like this? I leaned over to the mirror as I put more mascara on my eyelashes and then ran a red color over my lips.
Grabbing a small purse I looked back at the computer, men like women who looked like this. I told myself, I've read the comments. I knew this was true, but I hated looking like this. Part of my confidence felt as if it had been taken away as I walked out my room. Before walking down the stairs, I stuffed my hand down the tight bra and pushed my breast against each other. Then I stuffed them up as far as they would go. Even if my make up looked horrible at least I have a very revealing cleavage. That gave me a small confidence boost to go down the stairs, "I thought you fell back asleep!" Andrew said once he heard me walk down the stairs.
"No, I was just getting ready." I said and walked down to the small platform before the main room.
Slowly I walked towards the entrance of the living room. Andrew held a plate in his hand as he stood looking outside his back towards me, "I made eggs if you want anymore." Andrew offered as he took another mouthful. I leaned against the wall as I watched him. Slowly he turned to look at me, and for a moment his body turned completely still as his eyes looked up and down my body. A small part of me was clapping and cheering along. But, his face slowly twisted into something I didn't expect. Disgust, "What the hell are you wearing?" Andrew asked as his eyebrows pushed down. "I'm not taking you anywhere looking like that!" He added.
"What do you mean?" I asked him and walked across the living room, "If you don't want to go, I can go by myself." I said as my hand reached for the door knob.
The knob twisted and the door was slowly opening when it was slammed shut forcefully. My hand was painfully pushed away as Andrew stood in front of me. Everything happened so fast I found myself almost falling into him. But, he placed a hand out to catch me so I didn't fall on him, "You will go and get changed now!" Andrew said in a furious low voice. Everything that I thought I knew, crushed down as I looked at Andrew's angry face. The vivid brightness under the colors of his eyes were showing, ready to wrap around the two colors. And instantly I felt a rebellion building in the back of my throat as anger took over me.
"I will not!" I said and stood my ground, "I took my time getting ready, we are going-"
"We are not! I don't want to be seen with this." He said and gestured towards me, "You look like a cheap whore." He said and shook his head. I bit my tongue as my nose scrunched up. My chest ached as I took a step away from him.
"I don't know why I tried." I said and threw my hands up.
"You shouldn't have." Andrew said quickly, I looked away from his angered face as he continued, "What were you trying to do? Sell yourself on the corner?"
"No." I said and pushed my hair back as I looked at his angered face, "Get your attention." I said in a quiet tone, his face changed to surprise. And instantly regret washed over me as I turned and walked away.
"Victoria-"
"I don't care." I said as I walked towards the stairs, but I wasn't getting away that quick. Andrew was behind me in second.
"You don't have to dress like this for my attention." Andrew said as he followed me.
"I don't care Andrew!" I screamed and looked at him. Quickly I rushed up the stairs trying to get distances. But, even taking two stairs at a time wasn't fast enough. When I turned around, he was inches away. I stared at his face, "I didn't ask for a mate, I didn't ask to have these feelings for you!"
"It's natural-"
"Not for me."
With that I turned around and walked away from Andrew. Tears burned in my eyes as I slammed my door shut and locked it. I knew something like a lock would never stop him. But, I kept the lock on as I walked towards the mirror. Looking at my reflection, slowly I closed my eyes as my lips pouted out. The mascara was quickly streaking down my face as I used the tight shirt to smear the makeup around my face, "I'll never be worth anything." I whispered to myself as I tried to wipe the makeup off of my face. I spent so long trying to find something he would like, and in the end I received nothing but rejection.
Why did it hurt so much? It felt as if I'd been stabbed in the chest as warm tears fell down my face. I kicked the pants off of my body as I climbed into the bed.
Softly I spoke to myself. I kept my eyes closed as I tried to talk away my anxiety, "Get over yourself Victoria." I whispered and wiped away the tears, "Ignore it. Ignore him. Ignore it." I said over and over until they stuck to my head. I pulled the pillow closer to me as I parted my lips and allowed my tears to continue to fall. Slowly I opened my eyes as my lips parted and I took in a deep breath. Andrew softly knocked on the door as I turned my body.
"Victoria, please." Andrew said behind the wooden door, "I didn't know, you did that for me. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings." Slowly I rolled off of the bed and walked towards the door, I unlocked the lock and opened the door. His eyes widened as he looked towards me, "Victoria, I'm-"
"Just shut you." I said and squinted my eyes, "It's my fault, I shouldn't have changed the plan."
"What plan?" He asked, confusion showed on his innocent face.
"While you were planning with Sheila, I was making a plan myself." I said and looked at him, "Andrew, I don't want you as my mate-"
"You don't know that." Andrew said quickly and looked at me, "You don't know me."
"I know enough, and I don't want to know the rest." I said and placed a hand on my door. I bit my tongue and looked behind me, "Forget about me. Get out of here while you can so they don't kill you too."
"I can't do that." Andrew said and looked at me, "Victoria, you don't understand-"
"I reject you!" I said loudly and looked at him, "I don't want a mate like you." I said slowly. Andrew's face paled as I listened to the small noise building in the back of his throat as I shook my head, "Leave me alone." I whispered and closed the door.
"I deny your rejection." Andrew said as I closed the door, "You can't reject me Victoria. You don't get to choose when you don't give the bond a try! One mistake and you-"
"I gave it a try, and look what happened!" I screamed loudly, "Deny it all you want, but in the end, it will happen."
Once I got done, I got back in bed. And ignored his attempts as I pulled the blanket around my head, Andrew continued to beg at the door. Deep in my chest, my heart was aching as I held onto the blanket and sobbed through the day. Andrew stayed beside the door, I didn't know how I knew but I did. I could sense his frustrations and his pain. But I ignored it as I stayed as silent as I could. By sundown he was gone from the door, I knew this from his voice traveling down the hall.
For a moment I thought of the night before. But, I didn't look anywhere else in the room. I didn't have the fear or sense of someone watching me tonight. And if there was a monster waiting for me, I would welcome them with open eyes. I felt like a monster.
There were no nightmares haunting my dreams, because there was no sleep. I only went to the bathroom at night when I knew Andrew was asleep, the lock on my window stayed shut each night that passed. It has been three days since I spoke to Andrew, every morning he starts his day by walking to my door and asking me to join him for breakfast. When he doesn't get a response he goes down stairs only to bring a plate up to the door, which is always untouched. Since it was supposed to be training he would try to coax me out of the room, but each time he failed.
Only at night was when I got out of the bed and I tried my hardest not to run into him. I've been successful, or at least I believe I have. I had gotten a shower the other night and grabbed food from the fridge. The next morning, he threatened to call Sheila. He had even threatened to leave, trying to get me to speak. He was angry and mad, yet sad and in pain. He was growing desperate.
And just because I didn't feel the presence of the black eyes watching me, didn't mean they were gone. The black eyes were just further away now. And sometimes I could see shadow figures in the lawn at night, but I didn't care for them anymore. I only turned away and hoped they would take me out of my misery before I would have to shift. Two weeks away from Sheila, and two weeks before the next moon and here I was counting the days until my death.
"Victoria." Andrew's voice rang through the room as he knocked on the door, "If you don't get out I'm going to call Luna Sheila." He said. I only snorted as I pulled the blanket closer to me. I could hear a ringing sound and then I could hear her voice. My body snapped up as I looked at the door surprised. He really called Sheila on me.
"Andrew? Is everything alright?" Sheila asked through the phone.
"Luna, we seem to have hit a bump." Andrew said as he started to explain the situation. I listened to him tell the complete truth, damn snitch. If I could growl I would have as I turned my back away from the door and pulled the blanket closer to me. Betrayal, a new raw feeling mixed with hatred as I heard Andrew softly spoke.
Their conversation muffled as I pulled the blanket closer to my body. I wanted them to go away, I wanted their voices to leave. I didn't want anyone near me, I didn't want to hear them. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to be alone and stay that way. My heart ached as my head shook, my soul didn't want that. Wanting to reject Andrew was a physically painful thought. I gripped the shirt I was wearing. "Please," I whispered to my pillow, "Please help me." I whispered and sighed as a tear fell from my eye.
But, before the tear could fall off of my face a banging rang my ears, quickly I lifted my body. I watched as wood scattered across the floor, Andrew stood inches away from my bed. His eyes were a light blue and a bright gold. His wolf was in control as he stared towards me. Andrew only kneeled on the bed as he pulled my body into his stomach. At first I struggled against him, and then after a moment I sighed as I embraced him, "I'm here." Andrew whispered in a deep voice, "And I'm sorry." His fingernails were as sharp as claws as he gently held me into his body.