"The Marines aren't chasing us anymore."
"Hmm."
"Hmmm."
"Hmmmm."
"Seems like we lost them."
"Finally." Those guys were everywhere.
"Hmm."
"Hmmm."
"Hmmmm."
Zoro's eye twitched as he glanced at the rest of the crew. They were all sprawled out underneath the railings, putting their arms through the rungs. A depressed aura was surrounding them– and none of them were giving him answers that were actually worthy to respond to. What the hell was with the crew?
"Hey. What's with those answers?"
"Hmm..."
"Hmm..."
"What's wrong with you guys?"
They all sobbed, "We're LONELY!"
How dramatic. It was like you were rubbing off on them and they were starting to copy how you would act. Only– you weren't doing this. (Maybe it's because the Straw Hats had always been acting like this, from the moment they all joined the crew)
Zoro sighed. "Damn– Don't cry anymore! I knew I should've just dragged her aboard."
"WAAAH!! YOU'RE A BARBARIAN!"
"Despicable..."
"Devil..."
"Three Sword Style."
Usopp turned to Luffy. "Wait, that's not an insult."
"Four Sword Style!"
You jabbed a finger at him. "Hey!"
"You just added one!"
This is what I've been reduced to. Someone to make fun of on our ship. This is so unfair. You internally sobbed as Zoro told the others to "cry for all he cared". That emotionless blockhead had lost anything relating to joy the moment he got bodied by Mihawk. Emo. You hugged yourself, mindful of your swords.
So what if I wanted to hear his laugh? The others are so lucky.
"It's better this way."
You don't like seeing him have fun, is what you're saying.
"And you'd be right. I fucking hate that guy." The only good thing that Zoro did was help defeat possible suitors. That was literally it. In Kosai's opinion, everything else about Zoro was bad. "Now you can't develop feelings for him."
That's what he thought. You were easily swayed. In this world, I'll be fine with anyone. Pirates have all kinds of lovers.
"Stop."
Stop? I've only just begun." Your reign of terror was on the horizon. You should give people a real reason to fear your family name. It'd be funny.
Kosai chastised you. As per usual, you ignored him. Who was the one with full control of your body? That's right. It was you. Kosai wasn't capable of controlling anything but your lower arms, and he could move onto your upper arms if you gave him permission. Weren't you the tricky host?
"Man, fuck you."
Fuck you too.
Ever since you had finally escaped the Marines, you had gotten a few things done as your friends mourned the loss of Vivi. Aside from yelling at Kosai– or arguing. You did that a lot these days.
You made croissants, like you said you would, beat the shit out of Zoro like you were supposed to– after he took a bite from one of the pastries and got crumbs all over the floor, and then set Crocodile's coat over your bed. Now you could be even warmer at night! (And Kosai could be even angrier!! Yay!!)
Not only from the extra layer, but from the constant reminder that Crocodile put handcuffs on you before he threw you across a room. Who needs a blanket when you have that thought buzzing through your mind.
"The day you upgrade to getting nosebleeds is the day I start sending out death threats."
Please don't. They're so hot.
"At least we're out at sea. Good work."
"I know, right?" You absentmindedly agreed.
That was before you realized it was the stowaway on your ship. Damn. Maybe it was time that you started paying attention more. Then you'd be more prepared that way. You whipped your head around.
"ROBIN–!"
"Dos Fleur– Tickle!"
"NO–!! WAIT WAIT WAIT–!"
Too late
As you were dying on the floor, crying and banging your first on the wooden deck as you begged Robin to stop, she turned to the others with her calm smile. Like she didn't just do you dirty like this. Fuck that! Your friends couldn't know that you were ticklish. That was totally unfair!
You writhed, pathetically clawing at the hands that attacked your sides. "UNCLE! UNCLE! I GIVE UP!!"
The crew either jumped straight to violence, because Zoro was already pulling out one of his swords, with Nami whipping out her new weapon–and the others started freaking out and tried to evacuate the ship.
"YOU'RE HERE FOR REVENGE?! COME ON!!"
"WHY ARE YOU HERE?!!"
Sanji was in heaven. "AHH!! PRETTY LADY!!!"
You were in hell. "SAVE ME!! PLEASE!!" You started laughing so hard you began coughing. "I NEED HELP!! WHAT KIND OF FRIENDS ARE YOU?! I'M FUCKING DYING OVER HERE!!"
"That's what you get for being a simp."
You should be suffering too, then. Get owned. Tears were gathering in the corners of your eyes as you wheezed. I'm not even doing anything! This is so unfair!
Usopp pulled a megaphone out of nowhere. "ENEMY ON BOARD!! ENEMY ON BOARD!!"
Chopper was hiding ¾ of the way behind the mast. You'd be swooning and cooing at him if you weren't fighting for another breath of air.
"AAAAH!! Who is she?"
"What? It's you!" Luffy said, blanking on Robin's name. "So you're not dead?"
"Don't point those dangerous things at me!" Robin chastised, using extra arms to whack Zoro and Nami's weapons to the ground– a sword and her clima-tact. "Didn't I tell you that before?"
"Ah!"
"Hands?"
What, did they just forget about you? Talk about unfair.
The arms that Robin straight-up spawned on your body disappeared, letting you breathe. God, finally. Was this your life now? Were you going to be tickled by Robin for the rest of your life?
You turned over on your side and sulked. I wanna go to bed. First Zoro makes a mess out of breakfast and now this?
"Since when did you board the ship?!"
"I was here the whole time," Robin said, right as she pulled out a lounge chair from the storage compartment on the side of the stairs. "I was in the cabin, reading a book and taking a bath. And are these your clothes? Lend them to me."
Nami yelled, "What are you doing?!"
Just like you, she was ignored
Robin instead favored talking to your idiotic captain. "Monkey D. Luffy."
"Eh?!"
"You didn't forget what you said, did you?" The woman asked, pulling the chair out and unfolding it. Sanji immediately grabbed Luffy, scrunching up the boy's red shirt, and started shaking him vigorously.
"LUFFY!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY TO THIS BEAUTIFUL LADY, HUUH?!!!"
Usopp was crying on the ground. "Please get off the ship!"
"Hey! Don't lie! I didn't say anything to you!"
With her arms crossed behind her head, Robin sat down with a silent sigh. "No, I remember it clearly... you better own up to it!" Telling Luffy to take responsibility for something? How funny.
Luffy, who had grown annoyed by Sanji's relentless shaking, grabbed the cook's wrists so he could turn to Robin. "You're really weird, you know. What do you even want?"
"Let me join your crew."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"EEEEEHHHHH?!!!!"
~ . . . ~
"It's you who made me go on when I wanted to die. That's all your fault..."
'All your fault'... Yeah, I feel like everyone's a bit stupid for not realizing Robin had a ton of baggage– even after she told them a summary of her life.
"Of course they're dumb for that."
Your expression was mostly neutral as you listened to Robin's story. You listened to everyone's story– you were a listener above all else. Besides, who knows what kind of changes would come due to you fucking with the plot like it was a science project. At this point, it was like you were throwing a lighter onto a can of gasoline whenever you came across cannon interactions.
"I have nowhere else to go, so please let me stay on this ship."
Luffy blinked. "Oh, when you put it like that, then there is nothing I can do. You can stay."
"LUFFY!!?"
The ravenette giggled, smiling at his friends. "Don't worry! She's not as bad as you guys think!"
Come to think of it, you had also mentioned before that you wanted Robin to join the crew since she seemed like a fun person. Good lord. If something like that was coming from you, then they were certainly going to have some trouble on their hands because of it.
Though nearly everyone distrusted the woman, things settled down gradually. You helped pull out a few more chairs and a table from the kitchen –not the one you ate at– and your friends went to their respective seats. They weren't even seats. Zoro sat on the ground with his back against the mast– and Nami sat at the top of the stairs while watching the others listen to Robin keenly.
Well, they listened as much as they could. Chopper and Luffy were messing around again with the arms that Robin had sprouted on the ship deck.
On the other hand, you sat next to Robin, resting your head and arms on the table as you watched her. You were waiting for Sanji to bring you and her some snacks.
"Spoiled brat," Kosai muttered.
No bitches, you fired back. Owned. Ratioed. The guy with no bitches tried raising his voice at me.
"Shut the fuck up."
Robin's telling us her life story and you insist on being an asshole. I can't believe you.
"Says the manipulator."
How else were you supposed to deal with Zoro? Not gaslight him into showering? You were the reason that Zoro's hygiene somewhat improved.
"I was studying to be an archeologist at the age of eight. Then I had a bounty put on my head."
Usopp hummed. "Archaeologist? Why that?"
"It's my family's tradition. So for the next twenty years I was chased by the government."
Imagine the government coming after you just because you study rocks.
"That's a geologist, you dumb bitch."
You relaxed when one of Robin's hands sprouted out of the empty space in front of you and started scratching your head. Close enough.
"It's not??"
Robin smiled as she continued to elaborate further on her past experiences. It had been a while since she had felt... at ease? Granted, she still had her guard up, but was gradually relaxing since she was considered a part of the crew (Only by Luffy and you). "I couldn't survive alone out at sea– especially because I was a child at the time. That's why I've been with various 'villains' to protect myself."
"People like Crocodile?"
"Yes. He isn't the first. But that's why I'm so good at being stealthy."
"Hmmm..." Usopp leaned back in his chair, "You are fairly confident. What kind of operations?" His question was in reference to what Robin would do whenever she worked for someone.
"Assassination."
"LUFFY!! ACCORDING TO MY INVESTIGATION, I'VE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THIS WOMAN IS TOO DANGEROUS!!"
The young woman giggled at his actions. Luffy was too busy inspecting the extra hands and arms that Robin had just spawned. He and Chopper leaned over to the side, blissfully unaware of the one behind them. It slapped Luffy lightly over the head. Instead of making them angry, the two laughed, dissolving into a fit of giggles.
"ARE YOU GUYS LISTENING?!"
Nami huffed, her arms crossed with a knowing look on her face. "It's pointless. I still remember that you used to be the vice president of a secret organization. You were Crocodile's partner. You might be able to fool Luffy and (Name)--"
"I haven't been fooled!"
"--But you won't fool me! If I see anything suspicious, I'll get rid of you!
She was relatively unaffected by Nami's words. Giving a small chuckle, Robin said, "I'll keep that in mind, then. In that case, I'll keep these jewels for myself then."
Nami was at Robin's side in seconds, eyes sparkling. "Waaaa! I really like you, miss!"
"Hey– Hey, stop! Nami!"
Usopp and Zoro were the only ones who have yet to be swayed by Robin's charm. Because Robin was a woman, Sanji was automatically out of the running.
"Nami got bribed!"
Zoro grit his teeth. He'd think that the navigator would notice his death stare by now. "So under-handed...!"
"Ah! It's love!"
He's here! You raised your head as Sanji came skipping down the stairs with food. I love that goofy motherfucker. He brought you so much joy. Not because he brought you food (it was because he brought you food, you were just a liar)
Sanji was spinning around gracefully, plates in hand, not to mention the one on his head, while singing. Typical Sanji behavior.
Bro's majestic. You watched, the arm in front of you disappearing, and leaned back up to make space for the food.
"Flowing love, I am nothing but a blackened log, drifting in the current of a river. Struck by lightning commanded by you, which sent me into a river, ever flowing down a waterfall." He set down the plate, bowing. "Here is a snack."
"Thank you."
"...Did he really just do that?" Zoro deadpanned, crossing his arms with an unamused look.
Usopp copied his actions. "Yeah. He's just that kind of guy."
"Seems like we're the only ones left, then."
"Those guys really need someone to take care of them."
Luffy called out to his friend to get his attention. "Usopp!"
"Huh?"
Turning to the side, Usopp laid his sights upon Luffy, who had two much smaller hands sprouting up on his hat. The ship doctor was cry-laughing on the ground, and Luffy had the most stupid look on his face.
"Chopper!"
Usopp immediately started wheezing, falling to the ground with the other two and banging his fists onto the floor as laughter forced its way through his throat. There goes the whole "we're the only two who can handle this" idea. It annoyed Zoro even more. Usopp had been swayed so easily since he was a dumbass.
Robin stood from the table and approached Zoro. "Are they always like this?"
He nodded. "Yep. Always like that."
She smiled, eyes closing. "Really?"
Zoro's bottom lip jutted out in a light frown. Just what was Nico Robin planning?
. . .
. . .
. . .
"You guys should totally go down there and see what that was."
In the span of, what, ten minutes, a ship had fallen from the sky, nearly flattened you all like pancakes, prompting Robin to take some things from the ship before it sank beneath the waves and examine a dead body.
Furthermore, she determined the cause of death, time of death, how long the ship had been in the goddamn sky, all by looking at the skeleton that remained. And you, the most innocent person on the ship, who totally wasn't plotting to throw Zoro back into the ocean like you did when you were in Laboon's stomach, idly stood by.
"What did you say?"
You repeat yourself. "That ship that just came out of the sky– you should go down there and check it out."
Zoro, who no longer trusted being near you at the edge of the ship, stood near the mast. "That's a horrible idea."
"I think it's a good one. There could be a ton of treasure since it's also a pirate ship. Don't you think so, Nami? It could be priceless. Its value might've increased."
Her eyes turned into Beri. "Get in the water, Zoro."
"No!"
Luffy and Usopp had also nearly drowned earlier after trying to retrieve more things– and they had come back with a map.
Drenched to the bone, they stood in front of the rest of the crew. "Look what I got!" Luffy boasted, holding up a damp piece of paper. "I found something really cool! Look look look!!"
"A map of a sky island!?"
You wanted to grab it. "Looks dusty."
"It's hundreds of years old, smartass."
"Well you look dusty too, and you're nineteen."
Zoro's brow twitched and you smiled. If he was going to try fighting right now, you were either going to throw him off the ship, or start fighting right here right now on the deck. Why? Because you could. You liked starting fights with your friends anyways. It was funny because you always liked being the stupid one in them.
"Granted, most of your arguments are stupid, and they piss people off."
You smirked, making more irk marks appear on Zoro's head. It's hard to reason with an idiot.
"What're you smiling about...?!"
"Nothing!" You turned away quickly. Dude, before those other pirates show up, I'm going to go take a nap.
"Wh...Why??"
Don't get me wrong, I want to see Zoro getting thrown over the side of the ship in a barrel, but I just don't want to deal with all of these plot things. It gets boring. I should have the right to skip out on this. I beat the shit out of Koza and got glass in my thigh.
Kosai, who should stop believing in you entirely, mentally facepalmed. "You can't just say, 'oh, I don't like this part, I'm going to skip it'-- It doesn't work like that. Plus– your thigh is healed and nobody asked you to do Koza dirty like that."
Erm, it does, actually, Mentally doing a nerdy voice before you glanced at Nami. "I'm going to take a nap in like, five minutes."
Her brow raised lightly. "Whenever you do that, you never tell me. Care to elaborate?"
"Nah."
She withered. "Something is going to happen, isn't it? You went inside right before that ship came down!"
"Did not."
"Did too."
"Nope. Don't remember that."
"You ran inside thirty seconds before the debris started falling!"
Apparently, since you were a deceitful little bastard, you shook your head back and forth, a light frown on your face. "Lying is wrong, Nami."
"You're lying right now!"
You stared at Nami for a hot second, and without breaking eye contact, you took one of the rings off your fingers (you had two more hands than most people, and thus, you wore more rings to fidget with) and held it out to her. "Am I?"
She flipped like a switch and snatched the ring out of your hands (and you noticed that she grabbed your hand to take off another).
"Enjoy your nap!"
The others were not amused. Well, Sanji and Robin were, because Sanji was in love with every woman on the planet, and Robin was probably interested as to why you wanted to sleep when you knew what was going to happen, but you get the point. It was almost like you were getting lazier, and that you wanted the crew to handle these hardships on their own.
...Wait a goddamn minute
"(Name)...?"
"Don't worry about it. I'm only feeling tired, that's all."
"I wanna go to the sky island!" Luffy shouted, snatching the map from Nami. "I want to go! Let's go!"
Nami, who had gone from talking to you to dealing with Luffy, took the map back. "Skypiea?"
"Does it really mean there's an island up there?!"
They tried getting your input, but you were busy looking at the sky. You even waved them off, sensing their eyes on you. You weren't going to tell them– not now, at least. It wouldn't be much fun if you spoiled it right off the bat. It was way better to wait and let their curiosity build up.
"You just don't like telling them anything. You can say that. It's okay."
Wrong– You told people everything you could.
You did that to Ace. It wasn't trauma dumping– that was your living situation. (If your living situation was Usopp and Luffy washing all of the dishes in mop water– which it frequently was). The only secret you actually kept was... well, it was about you not really belonging to this world.
Sure, you did, in some sense, but that was a previous you. You –or your actual soul, if you even had one, did not belong here.
"It does, but go off."
You shook your head, nearly rolling your eyes. You stopped yourself from doing so– it saved you from Kosai stealing your food later. Or forcing you to not sleep with Crocodile's coat on the bed.
My soul literally kicked that other (Name)'s soul out of this world. I don't belong here. Surreal– but true. This wasn't your world.
"Factually incorrect. If you weren't compatible, you wouldn't be here. And I get that you didn't know that any of this would happen in the first place– but here you are."
Huh?
He sighed. "I can't explain much, or get into the details, so it's easier to put it this way. You resonated best with this body. It is yours, only it is in a different world. Cut it with that emo shit."
It's not emo! I was just being truthful.
"No, you're just being dumb. I know you're quite thankful for being thrown into this world. I would've been with you regardless. Want to know what worlds you could've been in?"
Different worlds? As in... You could've had an entirely different experience with other people if you hadn't been thrust into this one?
Kosai hummed. "No, not really. Before you died, a bit before you died, actually, you said that you'd want to be reborn into One Piece if something were to happen to you."
You deadpanned. So... You're telling me that I had a say in it? I thought you said I didn't!
"Well, sort of. You didn't, really, but you did."
Huh?! Kosai wasn't making any sense at all. I didn't even know that I was in One Piece until Sai told me about Crooner's backstory and stuff. About Shanks, I think. And the Marines, if you remembered it correctly.
What Kosai was implying was... you were put here because you wanted to be here, subconsciously, and then you were brought here when you died. Or was it where you wished to be last? Like– You could say, "I wish I went to (blank) when I die" instead of One Piece, and you could've gone there instead?
The demon confirmed your speculations. "Yup. I think your previous wish of death was... JoJo's Bizarre Adventure."
Oh, yeah, you hit the jackpot with One Piece. One wrong move in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure and you could go from important side character to being six feet under. You were not about trying to protect the main character. Not to mention, the timeskips, parts, and such. You'd have to save a lot more people in that world.
Kosai went on. He was listing off the things he knew, from what he had gathered, and what they had told him. "Before that, Haikyuu. You wouldn't have had four arms, by the way."
Slice of life and sports? You hummed. That wouldn't be so bad. I like volleyball. Not my favorite, though. You felt slightly sad for not being able to punch Tsukishima. Whatever. You could always punch him in your dreams if he ever showed up. What else?
You could tell that he was holding back a laugh. Whether it was with ill intent or actual amusement– you couldn't pinpoint what emotion he was trying so hard to suppress. "T...Transformers. And it wasn't because you wanted to see a bunch of cool robots fighting."
This better not be because I thought Optimus had thighs that were too thick.
"It's exactly because of that."
It was time to stop talking, now. Nobody needed to know about that part of your life.
"It was never a phase, was it?"
I'm going to throw you off the side of the ship in Zoro's place.
"You love me, though."
Eh.
You were punched in the back of the head
OKAY DAMN I LOVE YOU
"That's more like it."
Even with Kosai, you were rarely given a moment of peace
I fucking hate it here...