You were fading in and out of consciousness
You gathered a few things when you managed to keep a hold on reality before you let yourself get knocked the fuck out again. One; you were on Kureha's sleigh, but you didn't know where you really were. Two; she actually took your deal. Three; you were going to be in debt soon– and finally... Kosai hasn't gotten back to you yet.
You... You were stretched pretty thin yourself. You were going to do so many things after you were healed. You didn't even know if you'd be able to help at all with the Wapol fight. You did, however, want to kick at least one of his minions in the nuts. If you could do that, you were sure that you would be able to rest easy for about three hours until you had to kidnap Chopper. That part was going to be fun. Riding on a sleigh shooting down a hill at what, 100 miles per hour? Not so fun. You liked roller coasters, not joyrides.
Once Kureha helped you, and you were all better, you'd head back down to the village to help Dalton, because you were pretty sure he was either shot or stabbed and was on death's door. Then you'd help all of the villagers with the snow clearing...
Wapol was going to be taken care of by Luffy– you hoped that Sanji was also okay. Kosai made a deal with you in the first place. (It was more of you forcing him to agree, though).
Before they even met Dalton– Hell, before they even docked, you thought of something. It was because Sanji ended up getting injured that you thought of it. Kosai would pretend to be you– Since he could literally copy people.
It reminded you more or less of Mr. 3, but he couldn't copy fighting styles like Kosai could. He was a demon of deceit –Invisibility wasn't his only power. Yes, it varied, and it was a bit complicated to get into all of the details– but he could make clones. Of... mostly anything. He did better as inanimate objects since he could spy on people.
That's when you found out what the tattoo on your chest meant. You had figured that out a while back, when you had to blow up (you didn't have to, actually) a Marine Base. Finding yourself in a sticky situation at the time, Kosai made a diversion for you. On your chest, you had eight eyes surrounding a dot– making the tattoo look like a sun. Kosai could split himself into eight copies, if he was fighting, but only three were sent with Luffy and Sanji.
The others were spread out. One was with Nami, keeping her cooler, since Kosai could absorb the cold, and what was left was with Zoro, to heal him. Though he had less since his healing had been accelerated for the past few days. You were left with a dot, a single dot– Which was barely enough of him for you to tell what was going on in his end. He wasn't answering because he was busy– either that, or Kosai was just mad at you.
You hoped that he wasn't. The entire time you were sick... you didn't really have Kosai. You didn't have the energy to even think sometimes, meaning the two of you couldn't talk. So you were usually left sleeping. It was... not very fun, in your opinion. Kosai was your best friend and you had actively separated yourself from him to help your friends.
A pained groan left you. What about... Oh, shit, there's an avalanche and I forgot. Kosai's not going to be happy about this.
Your head was slapped a few times. You grunted again.
"Hey, kid! We're almost there!"
"Wake me up when we're there, then..."
You were punched in the gut
Okay, you weren't punched, but it felt like you were. That alone gave you enough strength to be angry. You clutched your stomach and rolled over, feeling like death was coming to claim you soon. "WHAT THE FUCK?! AREN'T YOU UNDER THE HIPPOCRATIC OATH?!"
"What's that?"
"I know you're lying right now– Oh my god, why did you wake me up...?"
You pulled the long coat up further so it stayed over your head. You heard it– The howling winds, biting at your ankles, which you quickly tucked under the coat to trap the heat in. It also felt like you had another blanket piled over you. You'd thank her for that, at least. That didn't change the fact that you were hundreds of feet in the air, on some flimsy wires.
Kureha laughed to herself. "Are you feeling better, kid? I didn't have much on hand, but I used what I could to at least take most of the pain away."
You rubbed your head. The fever you had– That was bringing you the most discomfort. You were strong enough to yell, that's for sure, but you felt too sluggish to sit up or anything. At least you had your voice.
The day before, you had lost it for a little while. Safe to say that it was a little horrifying to realise your voice was gone when you experienced it. Because when you tried screaming, nothing came out but a little whisper of an "aaaah".
"I'm feeling better. Thank you."
"You're nowhere near healed, so stay down. You might fall off if you sit up."
"Sit up...? Oh, we better not be on that freaky gondola. I'm scared of heights."
"We're on top of it!" She let out a ruthless cackle at your misery. "Kid– There's something I've been meaning to ask you, but you passed out before I had a chance to talk."
"Go ahead."
"You've never met us before. How did you know that my reindeer helper, Chopper, can speak?"
A sigh filtered through your nose. "I'm going to try one thing. It's introduction. My name is Crooner (Name)."
"Crooner? Ah, so you're the rich brat's kid! I'd say he owes me, but he pays back every debt he's ever acquired, it seems."
Thank god. I thought she might take my arms as his payment. Your brows creased as you felt some sweltering pain come back to your... well, back. Guess what? It hurt. Like a bitch.
"What... What did he do to need something from you? When did he even come here?"
"A couple years back when he visited East Blue. He's one of the only men who can just hop right over it without any problem, given his Devil Fruit and all. He needed my medicine, and my secret of my youth! Want to know, kid?!"
You pursed your lips, heat coming back to your cheeks. "Yeah, sur–"
You passed out again
Kureha clicked her tongue as she watched your body go limp. Your breathing became heavy and laboured yet again. She could only imagine that your temperature was starting to go up once.
"Her body ran through all my medicine that quickly...? It's been less than an hour... The same happened to that bratty father of hers. We're going to have a tough patient, aren't we, Chopper?"
~ . . . ~
The next time you awoke, you were no longer in the sled
Thank god. When you finally peeled your eyes open, they met the ceiling. Your fever was gone and there was a nice, cold, cool, ice pack on your head. You strained your ears to try and hear anything– now that most of your pain was gone.
The gentle clopping of hooves– and shuffling behind you
Nami
Nami was also awake
"What, and your first thought isn't about me? This is a personal attack."
Nami sat up and looked directly at Chopper– right as you sat bolt upright. The navigator blinked, wondering if she was seeing things. "Who's that?"
"KOSAI!"
You looked down your shirt, finding that only one eye from the tattoo was missing. Both you and Nami apparently startled him, because you had never seen someone go from "casually working" to "fearing for their life" so fast. Chopper screamed, slammed into some equipment as he tried to escape, and hid behind a wall. The only problem about this was... he was hiding on the wrong side. At least 90% of his body was in the doorway with part of his head on the other side of the door.
Nami sweatdropped. "Do you know that you're hiding on the wrong side?"
He hid the other way.
"...It's too late. You can't really hide the other way. What are you doing, anyways?"
You smiled, leaning forward and hanging onto the bed frame. "Ah, you're a cute one, aren't you? What an adorable reindeer!"
"SHUT UP– HUMANS!"
Hurtful, but deserved. You sulked and turned the other way. "Okay, Chopper..."
"By the way! Are you... feeling better?" His voice, high pitched, softened from his initial hostility. You raised like a blooming flower and turned to him again, laying down and resting your cheek on the pillow.
"I feel great–!!"
Nami shrieked, "YOU CAN TALK?!"
"AAAAAAH!!!" He bolted out of sight, knocking over even more things in the next room over. An old woman screamed and you laughed nervously. You sometimes forgot what happened after a lot of interactions.
Kureha shouted from the other room. "CHOPPER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
"Why'd you scream at him, Nami?"
She turned to you, blinking. "So you're just— You're just fine after he could talk?!"
"Yeah...?" Oh my god please don't hit me Nami, I love you.
Her eyes went beady. "He's important, isn't he?"
"If I answer, please don't hurt me."
She nodded
Her silence wasn't even a guarantee for your safety at this point
"...Yes. Chopper's important."
She smiled, "Did you see him and not tell us?"
"...Yeeees."
"And did you also hide on the ship, making Kosai take your place, so you didn't have to go with us?"
"....perhaps..." She noticed that??
"She woke up when I was beating the shit out of one of those rabbits."
"(Name)..."
"Nami, have I ever told you how pretty you are?"
Dr. Kureha walked into the room, a bottle of plum sake in her hand. You leaned away from Nami, or at least, stayed at arm's length so she wouldn't be able to hit you. You wondered if it was really okay for a doctor to be drinking on the job– but she probably knew what she was doing. She might have inadvertently saved you from Nami's wrath.
"Finally decided to wake up?" She laughed. "Feeling better, girls?"
"Who are you?" Nami asked, right as Kureha tapped her forehead (and also took a large swig of alcohol).
"38.2 celsius. You're getting better. And you," She did the same to your forehead. "37.1. Good. I'm Dr. Kureha– Just call me Doc Trenu."
"Doctor...? Then this place must be..." She looked around. Her cheeks were now a healthier pink, and she was no longer sickly pale with a ret-hot flush. You were so happy that Nami was getting better. (Yet you also understood that you were going to disregard all of Kureha's rules so you could go beat the shit out of Wapol's underlings later.)
Kureha moved her sunglasses to rest them on her head. "You! Want to know about the secret of my youthfulness?"
You perked up, "Ye–"
"No, I don't want to know about that."
Kureha continued, "You're in the castle at the top of the mountain, if you're wondering."
"So where are the others I was with? The two guys?"
"They're in the next room, sleeping. They're also loud snorers– did anybody teach them manners?"
You and Nami let out a breath of relief. As you relaxed, Kureha made you tense up again when her freezing hand lifted up your shirt, stopping right as she uncovered your stomach. She hummed and let go of your shirt, sitting on the edge of Nami's temporary bed. She did the same to Nami, who looked at her in a confused manner.
"Let's see... Here's the problem."
Nami's eyes went down to her stomach, covered in discoloured splotches of infected bite marks. Goddamn it. Looks like one of those mosquito bitches bit you. Uncalled for. You didn't do anything to deserve it.
"At least we know that I can't heal illnesses brought on by bugs."
I'm going to get malaria and die, aren't I?
Kureha inhaled shortly, getting ready for a quick, but lengthy, explanation. "You two were bitten by a bug called the Casha. It's a poisonous insect that's commonly found in tropical forests. When it bites someone, it will spread the poison through that person's body. Within five days, that person will suffer a high fever. Later, it will affect the heart, brain, and every other part of the body. Based on your wounds, I'd say this is the... third day after?"
"Spot on. She's a frightening doctor."
Who doesn't claim to know what the Hippocratic oath is. You shivered and pulled the blankets around your shoulders and arms. Who's that emo that terrorizes those Marines at Sabaody again?
Kosai paused
What did you just say?
"DID YOU JUST CALL TRAFALGAR LAW "THE DEATH SURGEON" AN EMO–"
STOP SCREAMING–
"YOU EXPECT ME TO BE CALM WHEN YOU CALL THESE GUYS NAMES LIKE THIS–"
I MEAN SORRY IF I CAN'T REMEMBER THEIR FUCKING NAMES PERFECTLY LIKE WHO'S THE OTHER PIRATE THAT HAS AN APPEARANCE?!! EUTACE– THE CHERRY GUY–
"EUSTASS KIDD?? EUSTASS "CAPTAIN" KIDD?!! CHERRY?! OH MY GOD YOU'RE TERRIBLE AT REMEMBERING NAMES– IF YOU EVER MEET THEM AND YOU CALL THEM THAT– THEY ARE GOING TO BEAT YOUR ASS–"
I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP–
"If you leave without medical treatment for five days, you'll definitely rest in peace," Kureha cheerfully said, the expression on her face saying otherwise. Frightening. "If you didn't come here within the next two days, you would've been in heaven for sure?"
You smiled, knowing that the deepest pits of hell would welcome you if you were ever going to die. "Heaven? I'm flattered."
Nami looked shocked by the information. "I would've what?!"
"The Casha was thought to be extinct for the past century. You girls are very lucky that I have antibiotics left over. Where did you get it, anyways? Did you go take a walk in the jungle or something?"
"Ah!"
"Oh." You averted eye contact.
"You remember something? What boring girls, you are... Anyways, just go back to sleep, you two. You're not completely cured."
Nami laid back down, albeit hesitantly. She kind of needed to leave. Immediately. For the sake of Vivi's country. So they had to put their little problem on hold (read; life threatening situation) so they could skedaddle onto Alabasta. "Thank you, but I'm cured– my fever is gone. The boys should be fine too, right?"
"Are you kidding?" Kureha smirked, her hand going into her pocket. You deflated. "It takes at least ten days to cure the sickness. If you want to die that much, it'll be a different story. With my medicine, it will take three days, tops."
"Three days? But we're in a hurry–!" Nami jolted and sat back up.
Only to be shoved back down when Kureha loomed over her with a scalpel in hand. Nami gulped nervously as she looked up at the bloodthirsty doctor. This was a new experience. She was being threatened by a medical professional. "There are only two cases in which I let my patients go. One is when they die, and the other is when my patients fully recover."
"Eh?!"
"Kureha, Nami would like to live, you see–" You started, though you were already backing up because you were scared of her.
"AAAAAAAAAH!!! HELPPPP!!!"
You turned to the doorway, disappointed. "Oh my god no."
Luffy was clinging to Chopper, trying to get him to stop running
"STOP RIGHT THERE!! MEAT!!"
Sanji got ahold of Chopper's leg
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"
"Where are you going, little reindeer? I'll cook him! He's probably really tender!"
"Luffy? Sanji?" Nami looked at them from her bed. What the hell were they doing? She turned to Kureha, who had decided to stop threatening her with a sharp object. "What's that blue-nosed reindeer? What kind of creature is he?"
"They sure recovered fast..."
"STOP, YOU HUMANS!"
"DON'T RUN AWAY, MEAT!!"
"Luffy, you can't eat him now. We haven't cooked him yet."
Maybe your crew was more disturbing than you thought
"I HATE YOU HUMANS!!"
Kureha put her hands on her hips as she watched the trio start fighting, a comical cloud of dust rising up around them. "You asked me who he is, did you? He's Chopper. He's just a regular blue-nose reindeer."
"One that can talk?"
"I SAID STOP!!"
I can't believe these are my friends.
"He just..."
Nami gasped in surprise. Chopper grew in an instant, standing taller than Sanji and Luffy, before he punched the two into the ground. "I AM NOT YOUR FOOD!"
"...Accidentally ate the "Human Fruit", the Hito Hito no mi."
"That's why he has human abilities. I teach him about my medical knowledge."
Chopper bolted out of the room, cursing. "Damn it!"
You looked at Sanji and Luffy, who were probably unconscious, before you turned to Kureha. There was guilt radiating off of you in waves, and your mood dampened slightly as you rubbed the back of your head with one of your hands.
"Sorry. They're both pretty dumb."
~ . . . ~
"Please come with us. I beg you. Please, granny."
"Your name is Luffy, right?"
"Yeah."
Kureha kicked him without any mercy– sending the boy flying into the wall. This scene seems familiar. Luffy always seemed to get his shit kicked in by everyone else in the crew, or someone else who wasn't even trying to fight him, all because he was just too stupid to read the room. "YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE!"
"OUCH!!"
"I'M ONLY 130! I'M STILL YOUNG!!"
"Wow!" Sanji blinked, "What a strong granny!"
Sanji was ruthlessly punched and shoved over to the side. What a... suggestive position. Why did he always fall over with his ass in the air? Must be a bottom thing. Chopper was staring down at Sanji, who was also bleeding from Kureha's attack. Damn. No rest for the Straw Hats.
Kureha scoffed as she leaned forward. Luffy huffed as he rubbed the back of his head, all pouty. "You want me to be a pirate? Ridiculous! I don't want to waste my time doing that. And I don't care about going to the ocean."
"It's okay if you don't care about it. Just come with us," Luffy said, missing the point by a mile. His grin came back as he pumped his fists in the air. "Go on an adventure with us, Granny!!"
Pirates? Chopper's ears twitched. These guys were pirates?
"Didn't I just warn you to watch your mouth?"
Luffy's gaze switched to the doorway. Chopper flinched upon being caught– since he was hiding with ¾ of his body showing again. "Aaah!!"
Sanji sat up, blood dripping from his forehead. "Ah!"
"Eh?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"HEY REINDEER!! WHY DON'T YOU JUST GIVE UP AND LET US EAT YOU!??"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!"
Kureha's seat screeched against the floor as she went after them, screaming. "STOP IT– YOU LITTLE BRATS!"
Sanji turned around, facing you and Nami, while you both watched this go down like a movie. "Nami-Swan! (Name)-Swan! Please wait a moment~! I'll make you some reindeer soup!"
You were already getting ready to jump out of the bed and stop them. "Please don't. Chopper's really cute."
Kureha's screams made them run faster. "MAYBE I'LL EAT YOU TWO BEFORE YOU EAT MY REINDEER!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAH!! GRANNY'S COMING AFTER US!!"
"SHE'S TAKING HER KNIFE TOO!!"
"RUNN!!!"
"GET BACK HERE!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"
Nami sweatdropped as the three bolted out of the room. "I would've preferred you two stayed still... I don't even want reindeer soup. Ah, the snow's getting in."
You moved to stand up, throwing some of the blankets off of yourself. "I'll get it."
"You'd better rest."
Ah, you knew who that high pitched voice belonged to. Chopped peeked out of the doorway in the room, looking around frantically. He was checking to make sure that Sanji and Luffy didn't come by again to eat him. How scary. You didn't understand why Luffy needed to eat any odd looking creature that he saw. Chopper was cute– ah, maybe it was because he was the future doctor of the Straw Hats. Yeah, that was probably why. (Also, he didn't appear as frightened by your appearance... that was strange, too)
"You still have fevers. Are they... Are they around at all?"
"No. I think my fever's also gone," Nami added. You swung your legs back and forth as you leaned forward. Naturally, your shoulders slouched a bit as you smiled at Chopper. He was such a little cutie. First thing you were going to do when you got back on the Going Merry would be a girl's sleepover– which would just consist of you, Vivi, and Nami fawning over Chopper.
"I think my fever's gone too."
"You still need to rest anyways," He walked over to the door and also glanced from side to side. "Because Doc-Trenu's medicine is powerful, your fever is almost gone. You still have the Casha's bacteria in your body." He closed the door– the cold gusts of wind being blocked out. "You still need an injection– and more rest."
"Thanks."
Not the needles. I don't like needles. You silently cried.
"Huh?"
"Thanks for taking care of us," The navigator said, smiling sweetly.
"SHUT UP!"
Both you and Nami flinched
"I DON'T WANT ANY GRATITUDE FROM HUMANS!! I HATE HUMANS!!"
This time, you both sweatdropped
Chopper was all floaty, dancing a bit as the praise and thanks got to him. He was even blushing. "You don't know how to hide your feelings well, do you?" Nami asked, chuckling nervously at the reindeer's actions. You bobbed your head in a nod as you watched him. He scooted closer towards you two as you continued to talk.
"Are you happy, Chopper? I'm glad that you treated us, you know."
"I'M NOT HAPPY!!" He screamed, eyes closing and forming crescent moons as a happy blush visibly formed on his face. Damn. Anime physics still applied, didn't they? You thought back to the hearts that spawned against your will whenever you thought about hot people.
"Uh, (Name)."
You flicked away a pink heart, watching it smack into the wall, aware that the heat on your face was not brought on by your sickness, but by a certain scar-faced man who'd be stomping you to death later. "Yeah yeah, I know."
Chopper was standing at the front of your beds, still swaying from side to side. "Are you guys pirates?"
"Yeah."
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Do you have a pirate's flag?"
"A jolly roger? It's on our ship." You gestured to the outside, pointing towards the ocean. Or where you thought it was, since it was snowing so hard that it made the sky white. "You want to see it?"
"Do you want to be a pirate?"
He shrieked, slamming into the bookshelves on the other side of the room to get as far away as he could from you two. "DON'T BE STUPID! WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!"
Nami facepalmed. "Okay–Okay, I'm sorry."
Her personality did a 180 as she suddenly beamed at him
"Anyway, do you want to come with us?"
I can always kidnap him if he says no.
"(Name), you're starting to think like your enemies."
All of my enemies are hot, so I see that as an absolute win.
"WHAAAAAT?!"
"Just come with us, how about it?" She excitedly asked again, leaning forward. "Join us! If you're interested in that, it would be a whole lot easier for us. If we had a doctor on board, we wouldn't have to stay here for three days."
You also chimed in. "Plus, we don't have a doctor. So you could join the crew!"
"DON'T BE CRAZY! I'M A REINDEER!! HOW CAN A REINDEER LIVE WITH HUMANS?!"
You screamed back, matching his volume, but not his energy. You had the light of the sun shining from your smile as you eagerly reached out to Chopper– still remaining seated. "JOIN US!"
"Aren't you scared of me?! I'm a reindeer– but I can talk and I can stand on two legs."
"You're so adorable!" You glanced at Nami, and you both shared a look. "I think he's trying to make us scared of him."
Chopper was visibly sweating. "My nose is blue too."
"My... uh, teacher, I guess– he had a red nose."
Nami sighed, "Stop talking about that guy."
"Hey, I like him."
"You like everyone."
"...Touche."
Luffy and Sanji burst into the room again
"YOU'RE OVER HERE, REINDEER?!"
"AUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
This time, the boys bolted out of the door once again, as they actually chased Chopper out of the room. You frowned, thinking about their stupid antics for a moment before you heard Kureha's chair scrape against the floor again. The woman sat down at her table, not even out of breath from chasing your friends around with knives. (That was funny– you actually wanted to see that– if you weren't forced to rest.)
"I can't believe those kids... You two– You aren't as cute as you seem, are you?"
You were flattered. "You think I'm cute?"
Nami lightly flicked the side of your head. "Not what she meant."
"I'm taking all of the compliments I can get."
"While I wasn't here, you must've told Chopper some stupid idea without me knowing, right?"
"Eh? Do I have to ask you to talk to someone?"
I am actually going to kidnap your son, Kureha. You thought, staring at the smoke contrails that Chopper, Sanji, and Luffy left behind. If you looked close enough, you could see their body outlines from where they started sprinting.
Kureha laughed heartily, very amused. "No- No. Just take him with you. But... It's not going to be easy."
"What do you mean?"
"Because. He has a wound in his heart that not even a doctor can heal. When Chopper was born, he was rejected by his own parents."
Why does everyone in the Straw Hats have horrible family trauma?
"Character development."
That's so fucked. You wanted to give Chopper a big hug and a piece of candy. Actually, everyone in the crew needed the same treatment. Fuck it-- you were going to start knitting blankets for everyone.
"His blue nose..." Kureha continued, "Because of it, he was left alone to walk in the back of his tribe. Ever since he was young, too."
"That's so cruel..."
"One day, he ate the Hito-Hito fruit. It was an accident– and because of it, he was treated as an outcast by his own family. Even though he's no longer a regular reindeer, he still needs friends."
Kureha continued to explain Chopper's sad backstory. After he was ostracised by his own family, he seeked refuge with the humans... who also rejected them. They had mistaken Chopper for a monster since his human form wasn't perfect– it was still because of his blue nose. The humans he met were scared and they chased him off– so Chopper ran. His hatred for humans grew, and he was... alone.
"He didn't know who he should blame. Chopper just needs a friend– but people call him evil. They think he's a monster."
EVIL?? MONSTER?? HE'S LITERALLY AN ANGEL!! That's it, you're taking things into your own hands. Of which you had multiple. QUICK! WHILE SHE'S DISTRACTED!!
"He's neither reindeer nor human, and that's why he's alone. Can you cure his heart?"
"..."
"..."
"Hey, where's that girl?" Kureha asked, seeing the blankets thrown aside– an empty bed greeting her sight. Nami paled and glanced around. Knowing you, you were probably off somewhere, doing something stupid. Kureha sighed and facepalmed, already knowing the look that Nami wore. "That stupid girl. She's just like her father."
"Huh...? You mean Crooner?"
"Yes, him. Even when he's supposed to be laying down and resting, he's always running around and flirting with anyone who gives him a shred of attention."
Oh, yeah, that sounded like (Name)
What was she even trying to do...?
"Oh, Pretty Boy! Sweetheart! Wait up!"
"(Name)-swan? Wh– WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF BED!?"
Sanji skidded to a halt. He and Luffy had been separated for a while to find Chopper– which wasn't working well. Meaning that you had a better chance of finding him. Upon closer inspection of the man, you saw that all of the blood that was spilt was wiped off of his face.
You were jogging lightly to get to him. Your body felt a lot better, now that you were given some medicine, and also when Chopper had given you some deliciously crisp ice water earlier. "Don't worry about it."
Sanji ran back to you so you would stop jogging. "(Name)! You need rest!"
"I don't need rest, I need revenge."
"Huh?"
You knocked him lightly on the head. "Stop chasing Chopper around, Pretty Boy. He's important, so you shouldn't cook him, and Luffy shouldn't eat him."
He appeared to be more distracted by what you were calling him. "Pretty Boy? You think I'm pretty?"
"You're the prettiest goddamn boy I know."
Steam came out of his ears and his face erupted in a roaring pink blush. God, you loved doing this to people. First you did this to Zoro, which mentally scarred you, and was quite jarring– and Sanji was the only other guy who reacted this way. You hoped you'd be able to meet another person who reacted the same way that he did– or would just fangirl or fanboy like you did. That would be entertaining.
"Hey, Sanji... Are you feeling cold at all?"
"(Name), after everything I've done for you..." Kosai warned, "Don't you fucking dare."
His breaths puffed out, frozen. His face was pink– not from the cold. "My coat keeps me warm enough."
"Hm... I should make some scarves for everyone, if we encounter more climates like this. Anyways, that's not what I mean. Does your face ever get cold?"
Sanji rubbed his face with one of his hands, which was covered by a mitten. "Yeah, I suppose."
You reached out and grabbed his hand, a shit-eatting grin on your face. I've had no chance to embarrass anybody for three days. Kosai, you will be rewarded for your valiant acts of destroying the wildlife when we leave, but now, I will indulge myself in making Sanji pass out.
"Eh? (Name)?"
"You're my worst enemy, Crooner (Name)."
You were doing this because you knew Sanji was about to have his shit kicked in during the Wapol fight. Might as well make him feel better in the meantime. You grabbed his face with your upper hands and caught his hands with your lower ones.
"Huh?"
"(Name)... I am warning you..."
"Oh, Sweetheart, I'll warm you up, don't worry!"
"LET GO OF IT, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!"
SANJI ISN'T AN "IT"!!
"E–EEEHHH?!" Sanji's face burst into more shades of pink and red as you pulled him closer. Steam wafted off of his face, eyes darting around in a flustered panic. "(Name)-swan?!"
Oh ho, you were going to enjoy this
You had Sanji wrapped around your goddamn finger
Using your lower hands to wrap his arms around your waist, you pinched at his cheeks with your main hands, a happy smile spreading across your face. In about three seconds, Sanji went from a regular body temperature to radiating the same heat as the sun. Shit, if this was any other situation, you would've thought that he was sick.
"Sanji, I don't think I've told you how pretty I think you are, have I?"
His body trembled as you teasingly pulled him closer. "N-No?"
"That's it. I'm eating all of your shoes when we get back to the ship."
No more candy, then, you little rat.
"This is abuse."
You're threatening my wellbeing. If you eat my shoes, what'll happen when I accidentally walk across a bed of nails?
"I hate you so fucking much."
Your hands were warm against his cheeks, which were pink from both your actions and the cold itself. He appeared to melt in your hands, relaxing, yet tensing, every time your thumbs ran over his face. Your eyes scanned his features– and you remembered them all. The way his brows swirled, and how his hair was swept to one side, subtly covering his other eye.
"Oh, I'm jealous, you're just so handsome. So pretty I can't even find the words to describe you."
If you kept this up, you were going to kill him
"Actually–" Kosai started, but you blocked him out.
Sanji's body was flush against yours– you were so close that you saw his pupils turn into hearts. "R-Really?"
"Of course. I wanna tell you that you're so goddamn pretty. I just wanna hug you and hold your hand– god, you're amazing," You said, squishing his face as his eyes sparkled like the snow that fell outside.
Yet he looked at you like you were a shining treasure. (That, and you were fulfilling one of his dreams)
"You're beautiful– I don't think anybody tells you that enough. So I'll tell you every day from here on out."
"Ah– Ahahaha... Re-Really?"
"Why is everyone around me so hot?" You groaned lightly as you brought Sanji closer. "I'm surrounded by pretty people. You stand out, though. A lot. Like a diamond in the rough– or a gold coin. Eh, I like any treasure. Must be why I like you."
His head was steaming now. Since when were there so many hearts around you...? Ah, you wouldn't question it.
"I will break every bone in his body if you don't let go of him."
Do that, and our journey's over. We're going to move back to Crow Island and stay there forever. You smiled and leaned so close to him your noses were touching. Sanji tensed under your touch as you held him ever so gently.
"Hey, Luffy was kind of a dead weight on me the other day when I asked for him to sleep next to me. He was warm and all, but..."
"B-But?" Sanji was actually overheating like a computer built in the 1980's. "(N-Name)?"
"What? I thought I was being obvious. Wanna sleep in my bed?"
"THAT'S IT I'M GOING TO EAT HIS FUCKING PANCREAS–!!!"
WHAT THE FUCK NO– LEAVE HIM ALONE–