"Hm, let's see.... We have 300,000,000 beri from the last bank we robbed, recovered treasure worth about 450,000,000 we took from that Marine Base... Added together with the 7,480,000,000 we set aside for Crow Island..."
scribble scribble skritch
"A pretty low haul from buried treasure gave us around 20,000 beri... Aito's betting got us 300,000 when we were at the casino..."
scritch skritch scribble scribble
"Minus expenses for the crew, that'll be a few ten thousands or so... Upkeep on the ship will subtract more..."
...
"Man, financing is hard..."
A captain sat at his desk, hunched over a few papers as he wrote away. His brows furrowed as he stared at his pen. His hair was puffy and white. It flowed above his head in soft puffs and dispersed into a thin cloud at the tips of his hair.
His brows were furrowed, expression neutral. He had put off all of his finances until the end of the month, which he really shouldn't have done. Yet he still procrastinated, because he was an idiot most of the time.
A deep red captain's long coat rested on his shoulders. On his flowing hair, a tricorn hat rested, a jolly roger flag right in the center of the hat. Behind the crossbones was a mustache, and underneath the skull, there was a red cloud. It was his pirate flag.
The payment's going to be late this month... The pirate's brows furrowed as he leaned back in his chair. I should've just headed out myself. Well, at least I don't have to wait on my island for the time being. He shifted around a bit, liking the throne like furniture he was in. And this is such a nice chair!
He perked up slightly when he heard a commotion from outside.
"GOD FUCKING DAMNIT-- CROOONEERRR!!"
"Oh, hey Buggy. He's in your office."
"I ALREADY KNOW THAT-- MOVE!!"
STOMP
STOMP
STOMP
STOMP
STOMP
STOMPSTOMPSTOMP
Crooner watched as the doorknob to the room rattled. The door was clearly being pulled- as it shook on it's hinges. He listened to the sweet, angered screams of his friend with a content smile on his face. He felt his shoulders relax -he wasn't nervous in the first place, he knew what he was doing- and he waited for the door to open.
BANG
BANG
BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG
BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG
B A N G B A N G B A N G
"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!!"
"It's literally unlocked, sweetheart."
WHAM
The captain sniffed and rubbed under his nose as he nonchalantly turned to the open door. With a smirk steadily growing on his face, and an angered snarl permanently on Buggy's, he leaned back and let out a content sigh.
"So nice to see you again. It sounded like you missed me."
Buggy the ticking time bomb went off immediately. "YOU'VE BEEN MISSING FOR SIX FUCKING YEARS AND WHEN YOU FINALLY DECIDE SHOW UP IT'S ON MY GODDAMN SHIP??!"
He was plugging his ears with his fingers. "That's no way to speak to your husband, Buggy. You've also got a really nice chair--"
The clown shrieked over him- his floating head right up in Crooner's face. He didn't fail to notice how his face had grown pink. Even through Buggy's yelling, he stared at his face, eyes full of affection as warmth radiated off of him.
"GET OFF MY FUCKING THRONE, CROONER!"
Crooner smiled and leaned forward, inches away from Buggy's face. He could feel the heat that was radiating off of him. "What? It's the first time in years we've talked to each other and you wanna yell instead of having some fun? Even when I saw Shanks, we partied. I still have bruises, yannow?"
"AUGHHH-- DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT IDIOTIC RED HAIR AROUND ME!"
The captain laughed, grabbed the sides of Buggy's head like a basketball, and put a bit of distance between them.
"Come on, loosen up! I wasn't even missing. And I'm only joking!" Partially.
"Where the hell were you?! What were you doing?! AND GET OUT OF MY THRONE I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO'S FLASHY ENOUGH TO SIT IN IT!" The blue haired captain was hollering at Crooner. Crooner watched as Buggy's headless body rushed towards him, reached over the desk and towards him as his hands popped off and started pulling at his face.
The white-haired man whined. "Leh- goh offhmy facssh..."
"LET GO OF MY DAMN HEAD YOU MORON--"
He pulled him closer
"What, you don't wanna kiss?"
"ISAIDLEMMEGOBEFOREIKILLYOU--"
The captain grew smug as he let go of Buggy's head. Crooner grabbed the wrists of the man's hands and also tugged them off his face as the clown's head returned to his body.
He's so stingy. Hell, I expected a kiss from him. His eyes raked over Buggy's form slowly. He's gotten more handsome the last time I saw him. He grinned as he noticed the slight muscle under his shirt. Oh hello there...
"OFF THE THRONE. GET OFF OF THE THRONE NOW!!"
"I'm getting up, Buggy, I'm getting up." Crooner collected the papers with one of his hands, the arms below him folded against his bare chest.
"PUT A SHIRT ON YOU HARLOT!"
"Ah, you remind me of a hottie I met at Water Seven, do you know each other-?"
"COVER YOURSELF AND GET OUT! OUT OF MY OFFICE RIGHT NOW--"
"Do you want me to put on my shirt or do you want me to get out of your chair? Ah, maybe you want me to go to your bed and not the chair so it's easier--"
The clown's face turned as red as his nose. Even though it had been nearly two decades since they last saw each other, he still made passes at him. Buggy hated that Crooner refused to wear a shirt around anyone anymore. It was a fight for anyone outside of his crew to get him to wear pants that didn't hug his legs tightly. The only other thing that covered that man's body was the captain's coat that he wore.
Crooner sighed, rolling his shoulders, purposefully flexing his muscles, and stretched out both of his arms- before his lower set disappeared into his body. He was left with one pair of arms, and he finally stood up from the throne.
His eyes nearly bulged out of his head
"WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE YOU SO TALL--"
Crooner cooed as he tilted his head to look down at his friend. "Aww, your head barely reaches my shoulders!"
Last time Buggy saw Crooner, he was the shortest one in the group. Now he was taller than him and Shanks. Hell, he was like a giant! He had won in the height lottery!
Then he processed Crooner's words
"Aww, your head barely reaches my shoulders!"
Crooner's already taunting him?!
Buggy screamed in rage before he rammed his fist into Crooner's stomach. Before he could go for the ankles, Crooner's legs exploded into soft clouds. His foot went right through them- but they didn't pass through completely. They stuck.
Though he was winded, Crooner floated over Buggy, grabbed him by the back of his coat, and started dragging him towards the door.
"You know you can get married at sea, right?"
"LET ME GO YOU STUPID AIRHEAD YOU'VE GOT NO RIGHT TO TALK TO ME--"
"I can't hear you over your screaming, sweetheart."
"MY NAME IS BUGGY AND YOU WILL REFER TO ME AS SUCH--"
Crooner sighed dreamily as he wrenched Buggy's hands off the sides of the doorway. He tried to escape but was caught each time with the trap Crooner could make with his Devil Fruit. "Ah, your hair's so long now! Can I braid it?"
"CABAJI MOHIJI HELP ME KILL HIM!!" Buggy was begging for help from his loyal followers as he kicked and shrieked from Crooner's shoulder.
They would've helped him if, if not for the fact that they were having a party on the main deck of the Big Top. He's been betrayed. Played for a sucker. Buggy couldn't even believe it. Crooner's massive crew was throwing a party on his ship. Why.
"It's lively, dontcha think?"
"We just got back from robbing the bank!! How the hell did they recover so fast?!"
"Beats me. Wanna drink with me?"
"Hell no!"
"I have treasure."
He already had two bottles of alcohol in his hands. "SIT BACK DOWN!"
~ . . . ~
Crooner watched from the crow's nest as his crew, The Madmen Pirates, went batshit insane as they partied with The Buggy pirates. He specifically had to bring his own wooden chairs and tables so they could break them. His crew always cleaned up afterwards-- no matter what the situation was, he made them clean.
They're under attack? Who gives a fuck-- go wipe the bloodstains off the ground. If you're going to die, you're going to die on a clean ship. You coffin should be spotless before you die. If it's not, you're not allowed to pass away peacefully.
The picture that was painted around Crooner could never have been so incorrect. The only thing that they got right about him was that he was a family man.
His number one policy on his ship, which almost looked like moving castle that sailed through the sky, was hospitality. And that was over everything else. If you don't have the capability to become a malewife or a househusband, you're not allowed to join the crew.
He watched as his the most responsible crew member -his first mate, Aito- held back some of his other crew-- who were waving around glass bottles with a little too much vigor. No glass bottles were shattered.
Crooner crossed his arms and shifted his attention to different parts of the deck. Mainly, he focused on where Buggy was. That poor man was passed out on his throne, which Crooner had dragged back out from his office, surrounded by bags of treasure. His face was flushed from his intoxication. He must've been dreaming about gold and jewels.
Oh, Buggy... The man smiled softly as he rested his arms on the railing of the crow's nest. You stupid, loveable idiot. When will you finally realize that my proposals aren't a joke?
Probably never. Buggy was about as dense as a brick, and the only thing on his mind was treasure. Cute, in Crooner's opinion. He loved stupid men. Buggy was constantly stumbling onto success, and probably had the luck of the gods on his side.
He loved the red nosed pirate dearly. It was fun to flirt with him and watch his face turn even redder than his nose. (Of course, when he commented on it, he narrowly avoided a punch to the face from the clown himself).
It was the first time he had seen his friend in a long while. And he had only seen Shanks a few months prior. Compared to the party Crooner had then, this one was nothing. He was surprised they didn't burn half the island down. Hopefully nobody noticed that they were there.
He was waiting for the right time to ask the question to both of them. The charismatic redhead and the blue haired clown who would start screaming at the drop of a hat. It wasn't a marriage proposal --shocking-- but...
Hm...
Should he really...?
No
He shouldn't spoil the fun by asking that
The time wasn't right, anyways
If Crooner got the timing wrong, he might ruin some people's lives by mistake. He sighed and lifted his gaze to the ocean.
In his pondering, which was filled with thoughts of actually marrying his friends than he'd like to admit, something else popped into his mind. His kid. His child.
Shit, I forgot to add everything together. He sweat dropped and patted at his pockets. Hopefully the late deposit will be enough for (Name). I wonder if she got my letter... Hm, I wonder what she even looks like...
His coat pocket vibrated a bit. He felt it shaking against his lose fitted pants. It trilled, catching his attention. It was the den-den Mushi that Sai had given him. The timing was perfect. Just when he was about to call Sai, the man was already one step in front of him.
Impressive. He must have heard his thoughts from thousands of miles away. He picked up the den-den mushi and answered the call.
"Ah, Sai! Nice of you to call. I was just about to call you myself. The payment's going to be a bit late--"
"(Name)... She's going to find you now."
His voice cut through the air, and effectively stunned Crooner
"Wh... What? As in-- As in my daughter's set sail?!" He stared at the snail phone, who's expression was slightly nervous, but serious.
"Yes. I'd also like to tell you about... her accomplishments."
"I'd love to hear them!"
Crooner listened eagerly. His mind raced when he was informed of his daughter's time at the Marine Base, and her time with Smoker. (the thought of Smoker brought a wide grin to his face, and he wondered if he should pay the hardy Marine Captain a visit himself.) He didn't know who Tashigi was but figured that (Name) had the ability to get along with anyone.
He was already informed that the curse had appeared in her. There were no signs that she was able to retract or call her arms back into her bod, which Crooner found strange. He thought that she'd be able to do what he could.
But if she couldn't... The curse of his bloodline worked in strange ways. He hoped that no misfortune would fall upon her during her sailing. She had even fought her very first big fight and won. He was very proud about that.
And when he was told that (Name) wasn't even trying to become a Marine, but a pirate? The man couldn't believe his ears. She was trying to be like him.
Like him. He still couldn't believe it. He thought she'd curse him or something. Track him down and try to throw him into the depths of Impel Down- but no. She was actively trying to find him, while trying to become a pirate herself.
He was proud. She sounded so independent already. And what Sai said next-- She had taken down a gang of bounty hunters all by herself-- how impressive! She wielded four swords, like he did, but no whips, which let him down only a little.
"She risked quite a lot when she left. She was 'chasing' after Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro."
"Why do you think that?"
"...A part of me thinks that she used that as a cover. I didn't see the two interact much when they were with me, but they must've gotten along well. They fought together."
"I think I like the sound of this Zoro guy."
"I'd say. I like him too, but I feel bad for having to make him leave so soon. He helped save my wife and my youngest child. He may be a bounty hunter himself, but he's got a good heart."
Crooner nodded to himself. "Did she get my card? I was sure to send an extra just in case."
"I gave her everything she needs. By my guess, she's probably sailing in the opposite direction of Loguetown and Crow Island," Sai went on, "and I don't think the Marines will find her. She's... lucky. Incredibly lucky."
Eyes wide, Crooner asked Sai to repeat him again. Sai did.
There... There was no way that could be possible. How could (Name) be lucky with the curse she had inherited? He was honestly surprised she hadn't died yet.
"You're-- You're absolutely sure that she's lucky?"
"I'd say. She caught the attention of Smoker, received special treatment and special training, and like I told you, she figured out that Lory and May were in danger. She's even got the descendant of Yatagarasu as her personal messenger bird."
"She's... Holy fuck, she's lucky. I thought the gods would be angry at her.... Oh, does anyone know about her mother?!" His voice raised in a panic. He hoped he didn't draw any attention from his crew down below-- but it was urgent.
He could hear Sai shaking his head. "Of course not. I made sure to keep her under wraps. Not even (Name) knows."
He let out a relieved breath that he had been holding in. "Good, good. I really don't want her finding out right now. Or anyone else, at the very least."
"As do I. If word got out about Roze, I don't know what I'd do..."
They shared a moment of silence. Crooner had been with Roze first, that was clear. But he couldn't take care of the kid- He couldn't let anyone know that he had a child (though that 'secret' wasn't really a secret anymore), and he was so lucky that Sai wasn't even angry when Crooner asked if he could raise his kid.
Sai threw him off for a moment, all those years ago when he first met him, but they quickly became friends. It wasn't like Crooner was going to abandon (Name). He quite literally could not take care of her. It wasn't safe, because Crooner's favorite place in the world was the Grand Line.
Not only that, but with Crooner's bad luck, he might've ended up hurting the girl.
There was no doubt in his mind that if he even offered his other friends to try and help him take care of a kid, they'd fail at it. Buggy probably made babies cry on the daily and Shanks was always drunk. But now that (Name) was a teenager? He didn't know. He didn't know what she was like.
Crooner didn't know anything about (Name). Only that she was already badass. But other than that? Nothing. He didn't even know what the girl looked like. She didn't sound like she was a shy person. Maybe more outgoing like he was? (He actually got kind of worried at the thought of (Name) turning out to be a carbon copy of him-- the world definitely wasn't ready for two Crooners.)
"I... I'll try to get that payment for you, okay? I'm in East Blue anyways. I found one of my friends."
"Please, take your time. Smoker's still on the island."
"Yikes. Mind if I show up?"
"Crooner, he will arrest you."
He laughed, "Hey, he hasn't caught me yet. You think it'll piss him off if I say I'm looking for (Name)?"
"My sons said that they had never seen someone so angry before when they learned that you gave her a vivre card."
Crooner's laugh grew even louder at that. His shoulders shook lightly, and his head was tilted towards the sky as he leaned back. "Really?! I should do more stuff like that, then!"
"Please don't."
"No promises."
"Crooner."
He frowned. "Buzzkill. Is she actively seeking me out right now? Because if so, I'll have to run."
"I don't think so," Sai denied. "I read one of her notes earlier- but I didn't mean to. She wants to find a pirate captain that she can intern other."
His brows creased. "Does she have anything in mind?" I'd be worried if she chose someone like Don Kreig. I know going for powerful people is usually the way to go, but I don't want her to get hurt. She's probably on thin ice regarding her luck.
"I... I think I remember."
"Great! Who?"
Sai mumbled for him to quiet down for a moment. Crooner's eager screams reminded him of (Name). He could focus because of that. He was thinking. What was it... what was it... What was it...?
"Ah, I remember the name!"
Crooner had set the den-den mushi down in front of him so he wouldn't accidentally squeeze it to death. He was on the edge of his seat already. "Who's the lucky Captain?!"
"Buggy the Clown."