• 8 months later •
I had tried my best to recover, really, to move on, keep going, but I just couldn't. 9 months had passed since my father's death and I still couldn't have a full night of sleep.
I was still frightened by the sight of fire and I every time I would feel good, I would feel selfish to be happy the next second.
I could tell how my behavior was exhausting not just for me but for the rest of the family too. We would dine together every evening but I had to stay as far as possible from meat if I wanted to avoid throwing up.
I knew I had to pull myself together, to force myself to eat but I couldn't. I just wanted to go far away from Westeros, from this family that I loved but that kept reminding me of my father.
The only presences I could tolerate were Luke's and Trystane's. After four months I had continued my archery lessons and I would spend the rest of my time teaching Luke everything i knew in high Valyrian. I knew that now Daemon was probably teaching him things that I didn't know. But he was still doing his lessons with me because he knew how much I needed them.
It reminded me of father. He and mother would often teach us high Valyrian.
Even if I was sad, I loved Daemon for not trying to steal my father's place.
Jace and Luke were always closer to mother and Jace knew that Ser Harwin was his real father. But I had always been my father's daughter, his only true child, and even if he loved us all, I knew that I had a special place in his heart. I was his darling girl and he was my dear father. He would bring me on his flights with Seasmoke every time he would fly with him, he would take me to the training yard, the hunts and the city as much as he could.
He had made me meet the people I would rule one day, not just the rich but the poor, the sick and the needy. He didn't want me to grow up thinking that I was better than anyone because my name was Velaryon and I had white hair. He had raised me to understand that I was going the be a queen for the people, all the people, especially the one whose opinion was never listened to.
" My sweet princess of the people." He had called me once. And after that every time we would go out of the keep for a walk the people we would cross would call me the that way.
Gods I wished I could go back then. Everything was perfect, I had my whole family with me, just us against the rest of the world. But now both my dads were dead, my sweet Jace was scared of me and my mother was already pregnant.
Everyone seemed to be happy, everyone but me.
" Aemma, the prince Daemon is here shall I let him in ?" Trystane asked but before I could answer, the prince was already in my chambers.
" My prince." I greeted him without raising my eyes to look at him.
I wanted to stay away from him. In didn't want him to ever remplace my father, to betray him.
" Daemon. Call me Daemon." He spoke taking my book to read it. A small smile appeared on his lips when he saw that I had a Valyrian book only written in Valyrian. Not that I could understand everything, but I could try. "Gaomagon ao shifang skoros vestras ?" He spoke leaning back on my desk.
I pulled all my memories together to try to understand that sentence. His accent was way better than the Valyrian teacher I had in kingslanding since my mother's departure. Do you understand.. what it says ?
" Daor." I replied. "Yn sylun" (No, But I try.) I smiled and I could tell how surprised he was to finally see my smile. I, myself was surprised that I managed to smile without feeling forced to do so.
" Sylun" he repeated to correct my accent. " Your y's sound horrible, you're not speaking the common tongue, try again." He spoke now reading my book.
" Sylun." I repeated and I could hear that my accent was already better.
" Why are you only reading about the old Valyria and the North before the conquest ?" He asked looking at alls the books I had stolen from the library.
" Because people think that these world and culture are different but in truth they share more than you can imagine." I responded and Daemon shrugged.
" Qilōni gōntan bodmagho ao skorkydoso naejot ȳdragon Valyrio Eglie ?" He said closing the book to look at me. ( who taught you how to speak high Valyrian?)
And my smile disappeared. " Nuha Kepa." I whispered looking at my feet. (My father.)
Gods I missed him.
"Rȳbagon riña, gaoman daor jaelagon gūrogon zȳhon dīnagon, nyke jorrāelagon aōha muña se nyke jaelagon ao pāsagon nyke." He spoke up after a moment. ( Listen girl, I don't wish to take his place, I love your mother and I wish you could trust me).
I sighed. I knew he had no interest of taking my father's place, and I knew I was the only one making things complicated. Even if it was not the family I wanted, it was still my family and I shouldn't push them away.
" I know." I whispered, tears filling my eyes. I hated crying, in nine months I had turned into a giant crybaby. I hated that. I wanted to be the strong girl my father raised me to be. So I swallowed my tears and raised my head before speaking again. " I know you're not a bad person and you don't want to hurt my family. I know you are my family now. But—"
"But you need time." He cut me. "And I understand, it all happened so fast. Take your time child, but know that I am not your enemy. Perhaps it would have been easier if you hadn't seen the body." He said making his way to the door.
My teeth tightened when his sentence ended. " Perhaps it would have." I whispered and watched him disappear in the corridors.
I knew it would all have been easier. My life, my nights, my dreams. I would have been able to have sweet dreams of him, instead of seeing this scene again and again.
I took a deep breath before standing up and walking through the hallways "We're going for a walk in the village." I spoke up and the knight behind me couldn't hide his smile.
Yes, finally, I would do something different from reading and archery.
" We'll go for a walk mother." I announced when we crossed the gathering room.
" What ? Are you sure ?" She stood, she was probably worried about my state of mind.
But it had been nine months. It was not about what I could do, it was about what I needed to do. And I needed to move on.
Because moving on didn't mean forgetting him, it meant allowing yourself to live without him. And that is what I was about to do.
I would be the princess he raised me to be, the queen he wished me to be, I would carry is legacy as far as I could. "Yes I am. You can come with me I want to see the people."
My mother smiled and and stood before approaching me and kissing my forehead. " I wish I could but the maester says that this pregnancy is risky, so I cannot ride but go on love, Ser Trystane will take care of you." She smiled putting my hair behind my ear.
I smiled back and walked towards the stables, Trystane helped me getting on the horse before mounting it behind me.
" I can ride." I spoke up leading the horse outside the walls of the castle to the fishing village.
" I know, but again, you may be my friend, you remain a princess for the rest of the world, so you could be put in danger."
I sighed, sometimes I wish I wasn't a princess to have a normal life but I was happy to have the power of helping the one that needed to be helped.
" Do you know how to read Trystane ." I asked after a moment.
" Unfortunately I don't Aemma." He replied taking the reins to lead the horse by himself.
" Why ?"
" I grew up in Arbor, we were fishermen, and you do not need to read to catch a fish, so I never learned." He explained as we were finally passing through the gate.
" I can teach you how to read."
I spoke taking back the reins. " It is not complicated you'll see."
" My job is to protect you Aemma, not reading." He laughed helping me taking the horse towards the village.
" Well, you can do both. I don't see what harm can come to me in a library." I spoke and he didn't replied.
I knew he was probably ashamed not to know how to read but it wasn't a big deal, many people didn't know how to read, it didn't make them stupid.
After ten minutes we finally reached the village and I smiled when I saw children running towards me. I would have liked to play with them but I knew that Trystane wouldn't allow it.
" Princess ! Princess !" A woman older than my mother came toward us and grabbed my hand.
I could feel Trystane stiffen behind me and put his hand on his sword ready to attack, so I gently put my hand on his knee to make him understand that it was okay. " Oh dear princess what a relief it is for us to see you well !" The woman spoke bringing my hand to her lips to kiss it.
" How so ?" I asked frowning. I had never visited the village in Dragonstone.
" Your father, princess, he would often pay us visits and donate to the orphanage, we were so sorry to learn about his death." She spoke and I couldn't keeping myself from smiling.
" Thank you my lady. What is your name ?" I asked and the woman laughed.
" Oh sweet princess, I am no lady, but my name is Cyrenna." She replied letting go of my hand and instantly I could feel that Trystane was more at ease.
" What can we do to help you Cyrenna ?" I asked again.
" Princess, I hope it is not too much but, since your father's passing, the donations to the orphanage has decreased and the children cannot be correctly fed and clothed since then." She said and I looked at all the children gathered around us.
I had no idea Dragonstone had that many orphans. Some of them were younger than Luke and I was sure that my horse probably ate better than them. So took my purse and gave it the woman. " Take that, use it to buy them a hot meal for tonight. I will talk to my mother about that. Anything you need, come to the castle and you'll be received."
I didn't expect Cyrenna's eyes to be filled with tears when she saw the gold in my purse. " Oh princess" she knelt and I got off the horse to make her rise. " Oh princess, you have no idea how much it will help us ! The gods have blessed us with your life my dear." She spoke kissing my hands again.
I smiled. My father would have been
so proud. He who always wanted me to be humble and help people.
" Take that !" Another woman watching from afar spoke up. I frowned take the wooden bowl she was holding out to me.
" What is it ?" I questioned looking at the green paste.
" An ointment for the scar princess." She explained seeing my confusion.
The scar.
I instantly put my hand on my neck. Aemond.
It had been nine months since I last heard of him and I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss him. He had been all I had for three months, before everything happened.
" I can't believe prince Aemond tried to murder you, princess." The woman spoke again. " What would've happened to us without our Sweet princess of the people ?" Cyrenna asked but I could think about anything else than him.
It had been nine months since I last heard from him. And soon anger replaced sadness. Nine months, nine fucking months and he hadn't even sent word for my father's death.
I had tried to protect him during the fight. I was the one that almost died that night. And yet he didn't even care about my father's death.
I had always defended him but still, he had not sent word. No raven. Nothing.
" Such a tragedy it would have been for the realm !" Cyrenna spoke up bringing me back to earth.
I took a deep breath and forced a smile and the old woman spoke again. " You're the best princess we have ever had, and we know you will make a good queen one day. A queen for all her subjects !" Cyrenna said still smiling.
" You honor me my lady." I smiled before getting on the horse. " Thank you, for the pomade my lady." I smiled before taking off my earring and giving it to her. " For your daughter." I smiled at the little girl in her arms.
The woman offered me a warm smile and I decided to get back to the castle.
" Can you imagine Trystane ? Not a single raven ! I'm not the one who took his eye !" I almost shouted as the castle started to get closer.
" The young prince had just lost an eye when it happened Aemma. He was probably in much pain and couldn't sent a raven." My friend sighed but I shook my head.
" I am not speaking about the day it happened, or the week, but four months ? If he has enough time to take a shit, he has enough time to write a note !" I shouted again.
Nine months. What kind of friend doesn't send word to a mourning daughter ? I'm always here he had told me, what a liar. You'll never be alone, he had sworn. And I had been stupid enough to believe him.
If I had Bloodfyre, I would've fly to kingslanding eat him alive.
" Aemma, I know you're angry but try to understand him I'm sure that—" Trystane tried but I cut him.
" No. There is no valid explanation. If his mother had died a week after it happened, I would have set sail to kingslanding at once ! Even though she had tried to kill us all that night ! I will never forgive him. He can hang." I spat looking at the gate.
I hated him. I had been so drowned in my grief that I hadn't realized that he had abandoned me. Even Helaena had kept contact with me. She had avoided speaking about the rest of her family and now I understood why.
When we arrived in the stables I abandoned Trystane to get to my mother. " What happened to your earings ?" Was the first thing she said when she saw me.
" I gave them to a woman who needed it more than I."
She smiled and hugged me. " I'm proud of you." She said leaning to kiss top of my head.
" Mother, there is this orphanage in the village." I spoke up and my mother frowned. " And I have seen the children, some of them are even younger than Luke, and they are all starving. Can you make something for them ?"
She smiled and nodded. " I had no idea sweet child. I will inform the maesters and see it done."
I nodded and followed her to the great hall where all our family was gathered. It has been a months since I had last seen them all. I had avoided the family dinners since the wedding, pretending to be sick, not hungry, tired, reading and even asking Trystane to lie.
But after my conversation with Daemon I had realized that they were my family now, and it was all that mattered.
I knew I would still need time to recover, I knew my nights wouldn't be perfect and full of dreams, but it didn't mean that my whole life had to become a disaster.
" Aemma !" Jace shouted running towards me. "Will you stay for dinner ?" He asked and I almost felt guilty.
For months I had avoided them, locked myself into grief, refusing their love and their company.
I smiled and nodded before following him, he sat on the ground and played with Joffrey and Luke as I watched them in silence.
I wish I had the chance to get to see Joff grew up. He was now close to his twelfth moon and was very image of Ser Harwin. The same chin and the same big cheeks. He only had inherited my mother's purple eyes. Like the rest of the boys.
Except for me whose eyes were said to be the same as my grandmother Aemma. My mother told me that she was sure that I was to be a boy and she spent hours trying to find a name for me. She wanted to call me Visenya, so that I would become a fierce warrior like my namesake, but when, after a day, I finally opened my eyes and she saw my purple iris with black spots, she named me after her mother. And my grandsire, the king, had guessed my name the second he saw my eyes.
He would often use that to prove the legitimacy of my brothers, "genetic is a thing we cannot understand, Rhaenyra has not inherited her mother's eyes yet he daughter has them, perhaps the boys have inherited both Arryn and Baratheon hair." He would say. But I was no fool, I knew my mother doings but I never blamed her. My father loved men. They had performed their duty by having me but and it was all they could do. People who didn't know our family didn't get to judge.
I would always protect my family, my entire family.
"Ñuha dārilaros ! Adhirikydho !" (My prince ! Quickly) A Valyrian almost shouted maester running into the hall.
My stepfather quickly raised his head taking off his hand of my mothers belly.
" Skoros ?" (What?)
"Se zaldrīzes issa !" (It's the dragon !) The poor man was trying to take back his breath.
Daemon approached the maester and I watched them from afar, still playing with my youngest brother.
" ...Ābrītsos dārilaros ?" ( young prince/ss) I heard Daemon ask and I was so upset with my mother tongue for not having two different word for prince and princess.
But I didn't want to be delusional, I hadn't dreamed of Bloodfyre since my discussion with Aemond in the library. Of course they were speaking about one of my brothers' dragon. I hoped that they were alright.
Daemon glanced at Luke before saying something to the maester. The old man nodded and left the room and Daemon approached us with a look that I couldn't interpret. I could feel my heart getting heavier, I hoped that it wasn't Arrax, sweet Luke was already found of him and it was the sweetest beast in the realm. Vermax was the rebellious one and it was too soon to speak about Joffrey's. So I decided to keep my gaze on my baby brother hoping that Daemon would just announce us that the dragon needed to train.
" Māzigon, riña." (Comme girl.) he spoke and I at first I thought that he had used the wrong word.
But when I raised my head I saw his gaze locked on me.
" Nyke ?" (Me ?) I asked with a low voice and the prince didn't replied anything before leaving by the same door the maester used. " Jace, make sure he doesn't put anything in his mouth. I have to go." I spoke and almost ran behind Daemon.
I finally reached Daemon who grabbed my arm and lead us to the stables. He put me on a horse and I took the reins with sweaty hands. He didn't say a word and mount his own black horse before riding north, to the dragon-mount.
" Why are you going so fast ?" I asked trying my best to stay next to him.
" You don't want to miss it. Adere !" (Quick !) He shouted before making his horse accelerate.
Hopefully mine didn't need my command to understand what to do and followed. After two minutes, Daemon slowed down and got off his horse before helping me off.
" Come child." He put his hand on my nape and lead me where Caraxes was sleeping. The red dragon raised his head hand he felt his rider and Daemon smiled before making me approach his dragon. Even if both my parents were dragonriders and I would often fly with Seasmoke, Caraxes had always been my favorite dragon. The blood wyrm was the scariest dragon since Baelerion and I had always loved his looks and his special roar.
" What were we not supposed to miss ?" I asked a bit disappointed. I had hoped for Bloodfyre but again, I was being delusional.
" It doesn't matter. Give me your hand." He spoke taking it by himself to put it against Caraxes' scales.
" Fuck, I'm sorry !" He shouted rapidly taking my hand to observe it while I watched him in confusion.
" He's hot as hell, not that it can hurt me but, are you alright ?" He asked frowning.
I nodded. " Heat cannot harm me." I whispered putting back my hand on the dragon.
Now it was Daemon who was looking at me in confusion. " He's calm today." He finally said resting his head on the dragon's. Their bound was one of the strongest I had ever witnessed.
Gods I wished I had a dragon. The very same moment that thought crossed my mind I heard a screeching I had never heard before, I knew The Cannibal lived on Dragonstone and I started praying for my life.
But Daemon didn't make a movement, he didn't saddle Caraxes, or ran toward the horses. He kept looking at the sky a smirk on his lips.
I chose to do the same and I had goosebumps when another screeching resounded, this time making Caraxes cry in response.
I squinted my eyes, unable to see through the sunlight but then, it appeared.
Flying towards us, red and golden wings, as red as Caraxes, the size of Syrax, golden pots visible from below.
The most beautiful dragon in the world.
She landed and roared when she saw the other dragon. I couldn't believe it. She was there, in front of me, after being in my dreams for months she was here.
Daemon must've felt how agitated she was because he put his arm before me to keep me away from the danger.
But it was too late, Bloodfyre had seen me, she had felt me the second I touched Caraxes.
The red beast rushed on us before roaring again. " Go ! Mount him !" Daemon tried to put me on his dragon but didn't let him.
She was there. She was there for me. I wouldn't be the one who flees.
" She's too wild let's go Aemma." He tried to grab my hand again but it was too late.
I slowly walked towards the dragon who stopped to wait for me. She knew me. I could hear Daemon shouting my name from behind, scared of what might happen to me but I didn't listen.
I took another step and Bloodfyre tilted her head watching me.
I held out my hand to her and she roared but didn't even blinked, seeing that I had no intention of fleeing, she approached her snout to smell me.
I held my breath when her warm scales touched my skin and I smiled when she closed her eyes.
It was her, my girl. I didn't waste any seconds to rest my head on hers and I don't know how I managed to stay on my feet when I felt her. Everything she was, she did, she saw, everything she lived, I could feel it, in my bones, in my soul.
" Ñuha rōva riña." ( my big girl.). I whispered and she opened her eyes before making a sound.
"Aōha brōzi Bloodfyre issa." (Your name is Bloodfyre.) I said caressing her scales. " Ziry perzys ānogar nūmāzma." ( It means Fire blood.) I explained and the dragon closed her eyes again.
She had agreed. My strong, clever and beautiful girl. She was so big. Daemon was right, the pit was the worst thing that happened to our dragons. How does it work that my nine year old dragon was the size of my mother's fifty year old dragon ?
" You must mount her." Daemon said approaching. " To seal the bound."
I frowned. " She doesn't have a saddle."
Daemon scoffed and hesitantly approached. Bloodfyre was still a wild dragon, she had spent five years of her life a wild dragon and those were the most important years to domesticate a dragon. I knew she would always be unpredictable. But Daemon approached and grabbed my wait a bit too easily. I had noticed his frowning when he put me on the horse earlier but now I understood why.
For nine months I had barely eaten. My weight was not normal and I knew that. But I decided that it was not the matter and spoke to my dragon. " Ilagon, Bloodfyre." (Down, Bloodfyre) I said and the red beast bowed to allow my uncle to put me on her back.
" There, sit here, try not to impale yourself. Grab those stings as hard as you can, and try to stay alive child." He spoke, helping me make myself comfortable before stepping back.
" Wait, before taking off, I will be right behind with Caraxes."
I nodded and watched the prince getting on his dragon before commanding him to fly.
" Naejot !" (Forward) I shouted and Bloodfyre raised her body but did nothing.
I laughed. She was definitely a wild dragon. " Dohaerās Bloodfyre ! Naejot !" (Obey Bloodfyre ! Forward !). I shouted again and the dragon let out a annoyed shout and started moving to take me off of her making me grab the stings harder not to fall.
"Nyke Issa ñuha riña dohaerās." ( It's me my girl, serve.) I whispered my forehead against her scales. " I know you love flying. I've been with you my girl." Bloodfyre turned her head so that one of her eye could look at me. " Sovēs." (Fly)
And then she obeyed. She took all her might to the edge of the cliff and dived into the void before spreading her wings to make us fly.
It was the best feeling ever.
I had to strengthen my grip on the stings not to fall to my death but Bloodfyre was gentle.
" Ilagon !" I shouted and the red beast flew close enough to the sea for her wing to splash me. I laughed, that feeling was my new favorite thing.
Daemon approached us and shouted "All good ?"
I nodded and he smiled before gently hitting his dragon to make him fly higher. Caraxes let out a screeching and my own dragon responded but waited for my command.
" Eglikta !" ( Higher !) I shouted and Bloodfyre quickly caught up with Caraxes.
As we would get closer to the clouds I would feel colder but the heat produced by Bloodfyre's body was enough for me to stay comfortable.
I had my own dragon. Finally. Bloodfyre was there, alive and she was not too wild or dangerous. She was mine, and I was hers.
I had a dragon. My dragon, and even if I had always wanted to experience this feeling with Aemond, I knew it was better that way. I didn't need him. I never had. And I never would.
My real family was all that mattered.
My mother and brothers, Daemon and his daughters, my grandparents, my future sibling, Trystane and now Bloodfyre. From this day until my last, they were the only one I would care about.
~ • ~
Bloodfyre
"The Red beast"
" The bleeding star"
"The Queen's justice"
~ • ~
I dont often leave a note in the end of a chapter but I needed to say that, I know that Aemma's reaction to Aemond's silence may seem too much, like bitch ? He had lost an eye BUT it's normal do not forget that she is only nine, sad and now angry.
Anyway ! Bloodfyre is heeeere !!!!!
I already wanted to call her like that because the Valyrian dragon names are from the 14 flames and I didn't find any name that suited our big red girl. ( Also, I know that you cannot tell a dragon's sex until they bring forth a clutch of egg but since the connection between Aemma and her is strong, Aemma always knew that it was a female dragon. ) so I was looking for an oc red dragon on Pinterest and I found that :
By stormfyre on printerest
Look how pretty she is.
I added Daemon and young Aemma's size so you have an idea of how big she is. Certainly not the size of Vermax who grew chained up in the pit.
And it's supposed to be an offspring from Syrax and Caraxes when Daemon came back from the stepstones bringing back the tea to kingslanding.
Anyway. I hope you have enjoyed the chapter !