Main apne dil ki baat ussey karu bhi toh kyu
Usne meri baat ko mehez baat hi toh samjha hai...
•••
"Mere liye coffee bana do." Standing on the doorway of the kitchen, Rafey demanded.
(Make coffee for me.)
Uswa, who was about to pour tea for herself, got startled with his voice, making tea spill on her hand.
"Ouch!" The hot tea burned her hand brining tears in her eyes instantly.
"Arey! Kya karti ho tum..." Quickly going to her, Rafey held her hand and took her to sink.
(What you did...)
"Dhyan se kaam kiya karo." Turning on the fucet, he put her hand under water and scolded her.
(Work carefully.)
Uswa was on the edge of crying because of pain. "Apki wajah se hua yeh..." She said in a small voice.
(This happened only because of you...)
"Meri? Tum..." Rafey wanted to argue with her, but her tears stopped him.
(Me? You...)
Sighing, he made her sit on the chair, and went to search for first aid kit.
"First aid uppar wale cabinet mein hai." He was looking down, when Uswa informed him while blowing on her burn.
(First aid box is up there.)
He quickly opened the door of the upper cabinet, and took the aid box out. Going to her, he applied the ointment.
"Uss din seerhi se girne wali thi, aaj jala liya khudko, fir kehti ho dhyan-less nahi ho." Rafey muttered.
(You were about to fell from stairs that day, and now you burned yourself. And then you say you are not careless.)
"Dekhein, aap toh mujhe bilkul na date. Dono baar apki galti thi."
(Look, you don't say anything to me. Both time it was your fault.)
"Meri galti?"
(My fault?)
"Haan toh! Aise achanak se samne ajayenge toh main darungi nahi." He was done applying ointment on her hand, taking it off from his hand, she checked it, while blaming him for her injury.
(Yes so! If you will come so sudden in front me, I will get scared.)
"Darr?" Rafey got startled by her accusation. "Kya main itna scary lagta hoon?"
(Scared?)
(Do I look scary?)
"Haan?" Confusingly, Uswa looked at him. She was busy staring at her hand, she didn't hear him properly.
(Yes?)
He didn't understand her confusion and thought she is agreeing. "Haan?" Shockingly, he asked.
(Yes?)
"Kya haan haan kar rahe hain? Hatiye, mujhe yeh bhi saaf karna hai." Pushing him, she stood up to go to clean the countertop and floor.
(What are you doing? Leave, I have to clean this.)
"Jal gayi ho. Tum hato kuch na karo. Koi aur kar dega." Going after her, he said.
(Someone else will clean this. You've got burned.)
"Kar hi na de koi aur saaf." Mumbling sourfully, Uswa picked a cloth to clean the countertop. "Issey aise chorha toh mummy..." Saying this, she turned to go to sink, but almost bumped into Rafey.
(As if someone else will clean it.)
(If I leave this, mummy will...)
"Arey aap waha jake kharhe ho na." Pointing at the doorway, she scolded him.
(Go and stand there.)
"Tum mujhe kuch zyada nahi datne lagi?" Crossing his arms over his chest, Rafey complained.
(You've stared scolding me a lot.)
"Achha aap jaye." She hasn't started cleaning the counter, she was getting bothered by him.
(Okay, now leave.)
"Achha tum baith jao." Taking the cloth from her, he told her. "Koi aur kar dega saaf."
(You sit down.)
(Someone else will clean it.)
"Koi nahi karega. Mummy mera hi baal pakrhengi agar maine nahi kiya toh. Achha aap dein kapra mujhe wapas." Extending her arm, she tried to take the cloth from him.
(No one will clean it. Mummy will beat me if I won't clean this. Give me the cloth back.)
"Na doon toh?" Raising his hand high, he teased her. Uswa jumped to reach his hand, but couldn't. At last, she got angry and put her hand over her waist.
(What if I won't?)
"Rafey! Wapas dein."
(Rafey! Give it back to me.)
Rafey opened his mouth to reply her but Laraib entered the kitchen. "Uswa, chai bana rahi ho ya haleem, kitna time..." Her sentence was dropped in the middle when saw Rafey and Uswa standing close to each other.
(Uswa, are you making tea or haleem, how much time...)
"Bhabhi, woh main..." Uswa quickly stepped back from Rafey. Taking his hand down, Rafey also stepped back.
(Bhabhi, I...)
Laraib opened her mouth to say something, but then close. Thinking it wasn't her problem. She left the kitchen without saying anything, it scared Uswa.
"Aap... Rafey, aap achha nahi karte." Once again, Rafey was under Uswa's wrath. She was embarrassed thinking what Laraib must be thinking.
(You... Rafey, you are very bad.)
"Maine kya kiya?"
(What did I do?)
"Chichore!" Mumbling, she left.
•••
Minal's house was a little far away. It was already dinner time when they reached there. Minal invited them for dinner. After eating dinner, when Hayder asked for her permission to leave, but she stopped them for dinner.
Hayder tried to refuse but Minal didn't hear a word from him.
On dinner table, where everyone was engaged in conversation, Hayder's eyes fall on Faiq who's eyes keep going to Hyra.
Hayder looked at Hyra, who was busy with her food, unaware of anyone's eyes on her.
Clearing his throat, Hayder silently scoot his chair closer to Hyra.
"Yeh try karo achha lag raha hai." Picking a bowl of gravy, Hayder told her. This startled Hyra as she looked at him with surprise. Not knowing what to do, she nods her head, as Hayder pours gravy in her plate.
(Try this,)
Hayder again looked at Faiq, who got startled by Hayder's eyes and looked away.
•••
Minal wanted to see off them on main gate, but Hayder refused her. Telling her to rest, they will leave now.
Hayder sit on the driving seat while Hyra once again sit in the backseat.
"Idhar akey baitho." Looking at her through rear mirror, he ordered her.
(Come and sit here.)
Hyra looked at her seat, she was comfortable sitting here. But when her eyes fall on Hayder, as usual, his anger filled eyes scared her, she silently got down from the car and went to sit beside him.
"Bahar dupatta theek se liya karo." Hayder looked at her, and told her.
(Wear your dupatta properly when you are outside.)
Hyra looked down at her clothe. She is wearing dupatta. Confusingly, she nods her head and didn't say anything.
The journey toward their house was filled with silence. None of them said anything.
Everyone in the house has already slept when they reached their home. And as usual, Hayder and Hyra were in complete silence when they went to their room. After changing their clothes, Hayder went to sleep on the bed, and Hyra on the sofa.
He has stopped her sleeping there before, but, she always said there is not place for her on his bed if he doesn't accept this marriage.
Hayder doesn't have any answer for her, that's why he stopped telling her to sleep on the bed.
•••
Zara's sleep was disturbed by the continuous ringing of her phone, half opening her eyes, she picked her phone from side and received the call.
"Hello!" A yawn left her mouth when she greeted.
"So rahi thi kya?" Hesitated voice came from the other side, jolting Zara up.
(Were you sleeping?)
Taking the phone off from her ear, she saw the screen and read Shahzaib's name.
"Nahi toh! Raat ke iss waqt, pados ke bachho ko shower de rahi thi main." Putting the phone again on her ear, she replied, while with her free hand she held her forehead. The travelling has tired her and she slept with difficulty. And now, he ruined it.
(No, I was giving bath to neighbors's kids at this time.)
"Sorry!" Sheepishly, he apologised.
"Iss waqt phone karne ki wajah?" Zara's heart melts on his voice. Leaning her back on the headrest of the bed, she asked, softly.
(Why did you call me at this time?)
"Wajah toh koi nahi..."
(I don't have any reason...)
"Shahzaib!" She called him lovingly, then added with sharp voice. "So jaye."
(Sleep.)
"Haye! Itne pyar se baat na karo, mujhse hajam nahi hoga." His laugh made her smile.
(Don't talk to me with so much love. I won't able to digest it.)
"Main phone rakh rahi hoon."
(I am disconnecting the call.)
"Achha suno..." He didn't want her to disconnect the call so soon. He wanted to hear her voice more. Since she left, the house felt empty. This was the first time she stayed for so long, otherwise Minal and her were not allowed to stay at her Mirza house for more than a week. Shahzaib has got the habit of her.
(Listen...)
"Kya?" Her heart accelerated on the seriousness of his voice, holding her breath, she asked.
(What?)
"Kuch nahi. Good night." He shook his head. Whatever he wants to say, could wait.
(Nothing.)
A shy smile fall on Zara's face. She wanted to hear what he had to say, but guess, she has to wait. She knows Shahzaib is waiting for her to complete her studies first. He wasn't the one who goes around claiming the love without any relationship. He is just waiting for the right time when he could send proposal for her.
"Good night." Whispering, she disconnected the call and hold her phone to her chest.
Praying to God that their wait end soon.
•••
Dawar was getting ready for office, while Laraib stood beside the bed, looking at him expectedly. Picking his laptop bag from table, he turned to leave the room.
"Aap kuch bhool nahi rahe?" Laraib turned to him, and asked.
(Aren't you forgetting something?)
"Main?" Confusingly, he looked at her. "Oh! Achha yaad karaya..." Smacking his forehead, he said. A beautiful smile bloom on Laraib's face.
(I?)
(Oh! Thanks for reminding me...)
Going to her, he picked his phone from the bed. "Yeh toh main bhool hi gaya tha. Thanks." Showing her his phone, he told her. Laraib's smile turned down.
(I almost forgot this.)
"Aap..." She opened her mouth to complain, but then closes it. She could not think of anything to say.
(You...)
"Kya hua?"
(What happened?)
"Kuch nahi. Jaye aap late ho rahe honge." Crossing her arms over her chest, she told him and looked at the other way.
(Nothing. Go, you must be getting late.)
"Main... jau?" Leaning on her, he asked in a whisper.
(Should I... go?)
"Haan, jaiye!" Laraib didn't look at her.
(Yes, go!)
"Theek hai, ja raha hoon." He stood straight,
(Fine, I am going.)
"Lekin yeh batao iska kya karu." Taking a black velvet box out from his laptop bag, he took it in front of her and asked.
(But tell me what should I do to this?)
Laraib's face gleamed looking at the box, taking it, she turned to him. "Apko yaad hai?"
(You remembered?)
"Zahir hai." Dawar said, proudly.
(Obviously.)
"Happy Birthday." Circling his arm around her waist, he wished her.
"Thank you." Laraib felt shy under his gaze, as she looked down.
"Shaam mein taiyyar rehna, kahi bahar chalenge." Cupping her cheeks, he made her look at him, and told her.
(Be ready in the evening, we will go out.)
Laraib nods her head, happily. Kissing her forehead, Dawar left her and was about to go when Laraib hold his arm.
"Sirf hum dono chalenge." She demanded.
(It will be only two of us.)
A month of their marriage has passed, but they hardly ever go out together. Except for the farmhouse on the second day of their marriage, but that was a complete disaster because of Hayder and Hyra. Laraib always tells him to take her for outing, but his busy schedule doesn't allow them, and whenever he do get free time, he takes Uswa, Hyra, and Sami with them. This always turned her mood off because she wants to spend alone time with him. In the house, all his time is taken by his family, when he leaves for office, he had to see his mother first. When he returns from office, he always sits with his siblings in the lounge.
Many times, Laraib asked if they can have their dinner in the room, Dawar dismisses it. Saying food only tastes good when everyone eats together.
But today is her birthday, she wanted to spend whole day with him, but knowing him, he won't take an off from office, that's why she didn't ask him to. But going out in the evening is his plan, and she wants it to be only with them no third person in between.
Sitting on the bed, she opened the box to see what he get for her. It was beautiful platinum bracelet. Taking it out, she put it on and admired it.
•••
In the evening, Laraib wore a beautiful red anarkali frock, letting her long hair open at her back, she did minimal makeup.
Dawar took her out to her favourite restaurant.
"Dawar! Agar main apse kuch mangungi toh aap denge mujhe?" Slowly, Laraib asked.
(Dawar, if I ask something, will you give me?)
Dawar, who was busy with his food, looked up at her. "Kya hua?"
(What happened?)
"Aap promise kare aap mana nahi karenge." Shaking her head, Laraib insisted.
(Promise me you won't refuse.)
"Aisa... kya chahiye?"
(What do you want?)
"Aap promise karein."
(First promise me.)
"Achha promise. Jayaz hui toh zaroor puri karunga." Telling her this, he picked the fork to eat.
"Mujhe alag ghar mein rehna hai." Laraib's words made Dawar stopped eating.
(I want to move out.)
"What?" Putting the fork down, he asked. "Kya matlab hai alag rehna hai?"
(What do you mean you want to move out?)
"Dawar, main hamesha se akeli rahi hoon, main..."
(Dawar, I always lived alone, I can't...)
"Main akela nahi raha hoon, Laraib. Aur tum soch bhi kaise sakti ho apni family ko chorhke hum alag rahe."
(I've never lived alone, Laraib. And how can you even think that we can leave our family and live separately.)
"Isme burai kya hai? Aur main chorhne ko nahi keh rahi. Weekends ko mil lenge sabse..."
(What's wrong with it? I am not telling you to leave them completely. We can meet everyone on weekends.)
"Laraib! Hum koi alag ghar mein nahi ja rahe. Behtar hoga yeh sab khayal tum apne dimagh se nikal do." Sharply, Dawar told her. Leaving no room for argument.
(Laraib! We are not gonna move out. It will be better if you remove these thoughts from your mind.)
Laraib was disheartened, she thought Dawar would at least consider her wish. But he didn't even listen to her.
•••
A few days of Hayder and Hyra's marriage has passed now, and they both were now used to each other's silence.
Hayder always gets up early before Hyra and leaves for office. Hyra wakes up late and hurriedly leaves for her university. After coming from university, she would spend all her day downstairs with Uswa.
"Hyra! Idhar ana..." Hyra and Uswa were talking about a project when Azroo called Hyra.
(Hyra! Come here...)
"Main ati hoon." Excusing herself, Hyra went to Arzoo's room.
(I will just come.)
"Kya hua, Mamma?" Standing on the doorway, she asked.
(What happened, Mamma?)
"Idhar aao!" Arzoo pats on the bed for her sit. Coming in, Hyra sat in front of Arzoo.
(Come!)
"Kya kar rahi ho tum?" Arzoo's question made Hyra confused. She was just studying.
(What are you doing?)
"Hyra, theek hai tumhare saas sasur nahi hain, lekin nand hai, dada sasur hain, tumhe unke sath waqt beetana chahiye, tum toh pura ka pura din yahi rehti ho."
(Hyra, I know you don't have mother-in-law or father-in-law but there are other members in your house. You should spend your time with them. You are always here.)
"Toh kya ab main yaha aa bhi nahi sakti?" Hyra's mood turned sour on Arzoo's words.
(So I can not come here anymore?)
"Mera woh matlab nahi tha. Aa sakti ho, kyu nahi aa sakti. Lekin achha nahi lagta, log baatein banate hain. Beti itna mayke tabhi ati hai jab woh apni shadi shuda zindagi mein khush na ho." Holding Hyra's hand, Arzoo tried to make her understand.
(I didn't mean that. You can come. But it's not a good thing. A married daughter only comes to her mother's house this much when she is not happy in her marriage.)
"Mamma, aap janti hain shadi kaise hui hai. Ab achanak se khushi kaha se lau main apni shadi shuda zindagi mein."
(Mamma, you know in what situation we got married. How I am supposed to be happy in this marriage.)
"Koshish karke. Hayder ka dil jeet ke."
(Try to make place in Hayder's heart.)
"Issi liye main keh rahi hoon, thora waqt apne ghar mein bhi beetao. Baba, Kubra, Shahzaib Hayder ke sabse azeez rishte hain. Unke dil mein jagah bana liya tumne toh Hayder ke dil mein apne aap tumhari jagah ban jayegi."
(That's why I am telling you to spend your time there. Baba, Kubra, Shahzaib are very dear to Hayder. If you won their hearts, you will surely make soft spot in Hayder's heart.)
Hyra opened her mouth to ask her mother why only she is supposed to make efforts, but then she closes her mouth and nods her head. There was no point in arguing with Arzoo.
•••
Just like Arzoo told her to do, Hyra went upstairs to spend time with Kubra and Hanif Mirza. But Hanif Mirza was with Tabu, and Kubra was preparing for dinner. Hyra went to the kitchen to ask Kubra if she needs help.
"Nahi, main kar lungi. Tum aram karo." Smiling, Kubra refused her. She was kneading the dough.
(No, I will do it. Don't worry.)
"Kubra! Hayder ke liye chai bana do." Tabu came there, and told her.
(Kubra, make tea for Hayder.)
"Bhai agaye?"
(Bhai has come?)
"Haan, abhi abhi aya, baba ke kamre mein hain." Informing her, Tabu left.
(Yes, he just came, he is in baba's room.)
"Kubra api, main chai bana doon?" Hyra asked, feeling bad for Kubra that she is doing all the work all by herself.
(Kubra api, can I make tea?)
"Haan, bana do." Kubra thought Hyra wanted to do Hayder's work.
(Yeah! Sure.)
After making tea, Hyra went to Hanif Mirza's room.
"Aao, Hyra! Idhar baitho mere paas." Hanif Mirza become happy seeing here there, pointing at the space beside him on the bed, he told her.
(Come, Hyra! Sit with me.)
Nodding her head, Hyra first gave Hayder his tea, who was sitting on the foot of Hanif Mirza, then she went to sit beside Hanif Mirza, giving him his tea.
"Bohot achhi chai bani hai." Sipping the tea, Hanif Mirza compliments. Hyra smiles at him, her eyes fall on Hayder, who was silently drinking tea. Feeling her eyes on him, his looked at her, making her quickly look down.
(Tea is very good.)
"Baba, apne kuch kaha nahi." Removing his eyes off from her, Hayder turned to Hanif Mirza.
(Baba, you didn't say anything.)
"Tumhara jana itna zaroori kyu hai mujhe samajh nahi araha." Gruffly, Hanif Mirza asked.
(Why it's so important for you to go.)
"Baba, Dawar yaha ka project handle kar raha hai woh nahi ja payega, aur Shahzaib ko main nahi bhejna chahta. Iss liye mera jana zaroori hai." Hyra looked between Hanif Mirza and Hayder, wondering what they are talking about. Where is Hayder going.
(Baba, Dawar is handling a project here, and I don't want to send Shahzaib. That's why I am going.)
"Kitne din ke liye?" Putting the cup down in the saucer, Hanif Mirza asked.
(For how long?)
"Ek hafta." Hayder shrugged his shoulder, as if even he was not sure.
(One week.)
"Tabu chachi ke sath chala jaunga." He added.
(I will go with Tabu chachi.)
"Hyra ko bhi sath le jana." Hanif Mirza ordered, making Hayder looked at her. Hyra herself was shocked by this, and looked at Hanif Mirza. She doesn't even know what they were talking about, where is Hayder going, and he is sending her too.
(Take Hyra with you.)
"Baba, yeh kya karegi waha?" Pointing at Hyra, Hayder asked, calmly.
(Baba, what will she do there?)
"Kya karegi kya? Tabu ke sath rahegi. Tumhara masla nahi. Ek toh tumhari shadi ko din hi kitne hue jo tum Australia ja rahe ho kaam se. Toh Hyra ko bhi sath le jao."
(What will she do? She will be with Tabu. It's not your problem. Not many days have passed of your marriage and you going to Australia. Take Hyra with you.)
"Lekin yeh karegi kya waha? Tumhari parhai chal rahi haina." Hayder turned to Hyra, startling her. When he was talking to Hanif Mirza, his voice was low and soft, but when he called her, his voice become rough and dominant.
(But what will she do there? You are studying right.)
"Ji!... ji, baba, mere toh paper hone wale hain." Hyra quickly said, looking down.
(Yes!... yes, baba, my exams are about to start.)
Hanif Mirza glares at Hayder on his rude voice.
"Baba, main kitchen mein ja rahi hoon, api ki help karne." Excusing herself, Hyra got down from the bed and wore the slippers.
(Baba, I am going to the kitchen to help api with dinner.)
"Kis tarah se baat karte ho tum, Hayder!" She heard Hanif Mirza's voice when she got out from the door. She didn't hear what Hayder said.
(How do you talk yo her, Hayder!)
Instead of going to the kitchen to help Kubra, Hyra went downstairs in the lawn.
Yeh kya karegi waha! Hayder's voice rang in her ear. He didn't want to take her with him. He is not happy with her. Why are others pushing them to each other.
The lawn's grass was wet due to the rain in the morning. Cold breeze of December send chills through her body as she hugged her jacket tightly. Hayder is going. This thought made her feel weird. She sat down on the stairs.
"Hyra! Tumne... Yeh lo... tum bhi kamal karti ho." She almost jumped on Kubra's voice.
(Hyra, have you... look at you... you are really great.)
"Kya hua, api?" Standing up, she turned to Kubra and asked.
(What happened, api?)
Kubra didn't say anything and points at her feet. Hyra looked down at her wet feet, and saw she was not wearing her pink flip flops, she was wearing a black leather slipper.
"Tumne Hayder bhai ki slippers pehen li. Aur woh kabse baba ke kamre mein apni slippers dhoond rahe the." Hayder doesn't like walking barefoot. When he couldn't find his slippers in Hanif Mirza's room, he become confused who wore it.
(You are wearing Hayder bhai's slipper. And he is searching for them.)
Hyra's cheeks turned pink. She didn't realise she was wearing Hayder's slipper.
"Maine dhyan nahi diya..." Scratching the skin behind her ear, Hyra mumbles.
(I didn't notice...)
"Koi baat nahi." Kubra shook her head negatively, while smiling on Hyra's innocence.
(It's okay.)
Kubra left from there, and behind her, Hyra also left to give Hayder his slipper back.
The muddy slipper ruined the clean tiles of the house. This widened her eyes, not because she has dirtied the floor, but because she has ruined Hayder's slippers.
Great! He will scold me now. Thinking this, she rubbed the slipper on doormat.
•••
When she entered his room, Hayder was talking to someone on call, while packing his suitcase, he glance at her, whose face was red because of the cold, and her specs foggy. He looked away from her face.
Standing on the doorway, she tried to muster up the courage to face him.
"Kya hua?" He was done with the call, disconnecting it, he asked. Without turning to her.
(What happened?)
"Woh... apki slippers. Maine galti se pehenli thi." Coming in, she said in a low voice. She has taken her specs down, it was better if she does not see his face right now. Otherwise she might get scared. And because the foggy specs was hurting her head.
(Your slipper. I wore them by mistake.)
"Koi baat nahi." Hayder looked at the slippers in her feet. Even her feet was red and dirty because of the mud.
(It's okay.)
"Mujhse galti se bheeg gayi yeh." She, who thought he will scold her, quickly came to her defence on his voice. Without thinking that he said it's okay.
(It got wet by mistake.)
"Koi baat nahi." Closing the zipper of the suitcase, he put it down from the bed and placed it near cupboard.
(It's okay.)
"Aap samajh nahi rahe hain yeh leather ki hai, kharab ho gayi hai pehle jaise nahi ho payegi."
(You are not understanding, these are leather slipper, they got wet, they would never be like before now.)
"Tumne kya mujhe gussa dilane ka soch liya hai?" Irritatedly, Hayder asked.
(Have you made your mind to anger me?)
Hyra quickly shook her head negatively.
"Toh koi baat nahi. Mere paas aur hai." Saying this, he sat on the bed and started doing something in his phone.
(Then it's okay. I have other slippers.)
When he saw Hyra was still standing in her place, he looked at her. "Ab yahi kharhi rahogi? Jao jake apne paov dhulo. Aur dubara iss tarah se lawn mein na jana." He points at her thin jacket and told her.
(Will you keep standing there? Go and wash your feet. And don't go to lawn like this again.)
Nodding her head, she went to the washroom.
"Pura ghar ganda kiya hoga isne." Hayder looked at the prints of the slipper and mumbles. Getting up, he thought of calling someone to clean his room.
(She must have dirtied the whole house.)