Stefanis pov
The hell is she thinking?
The hell was he thinking?
She manipulated kent into having kids, tricked him into confessing that he did say it- not only, it was because she got him to say it was a joke which was a confession and used it to defend herself she took it literally by bearing his kids without his knowledge?
How can he be so stupid to claim that he wants her bear his children, no sex is ever that good...
I thought about Lillian briefly.
Damn it..
I shook my thoughts off momentarily to go back to thinking.
Mary's in jail for the time being for causing such a disruption.
But everything she said, checked out.
I'm at my kitchen counter top looking at the vault key with the address and location in which storage unit it's in..
She wasn't lying.
About anything.
What was her angle?
Did she purposely planned to get detained for something else than shining light on the true crime she committed so when she's released, she doesn't get tried again-
"Fucking smart ass, I swear," I grumbled.
She goes in for something petty, gets on probabtion, next thing you know, she's running away with half the company's assets to her name in a private account.
I can't let her get away with this.
She still ended up in jail. But she's not in for the right reason, I need to go down to the station.
I'm not even sure if visiting her is a good idea.
"What's on your mind," warm finger tips greeted me but I only got chills.
I quickly removed Lillian's hands away from me.
I still can't face her, call me immature all you want, but I've yet to find the strength to look her in the eyes and talk about what's really bothering me.
"I- I know you're upset from the other day-
"I'm fine," I cut her off.
"I- I know... I just- if you want someone to talk-
"If you know so much, please... just drop it. We're on a schedule and things are in a time slot," I brushed her off and walked past her.
"Please talk to me," her voice cracked and a sharp pang hit my chest.
"Do you know how hard it's been to be around you after yesterday?" My eyes were burning with tears.
"Yes because when I look at you, all I see is how much I've hurt you- time and time again!" She yelled.
She's keeping score?
Hell, I forgot the number of times she's hurt me; I usually take them as I go and keep going..
"I didn't know- I swear I didn't know it was that serious," Lillian dropped to the ground in front of me.
Her tears were streaming against my leg as I looked up into the ceiling feeling my tears go down the corner of my eyes.
"We wouldn't be in this mess if I had known before hand," I shuddered.
"I- I know that now- I swear I didn't know before. I just knew how badly he expressed about you owning a lot of shares and your net worth scared him," she was clinging onto me.
She really doesn't get it; if I had known the circumstances beforehand, we would've been married off easily. None of this plotting, scheming and unnecessary-
How can I say it was unnecessary?
I met Veronica, rekindled with Carter- even met the lovely woman that's given her hell for all her life... I've met all these people who have been helpful and supportive of me and Lillian's attempt to have a non-messy relationship and marriage.
If I had known before hand- I wouldn't have met these people.
This is so frustrating to digest.
"Get up," I lost my patience and she gasped.
"We clearly have a lot to talk about but now is not the time. Carry yourself like and Edwards- or at least try to," i grumbled and stormed off to wipe my own tears.
I still love her and want to get married- it's just really hard right now when so much is going on. We all agreed that because of this fall out, it would actually be in favor of the press to highlight the fact none of us likes Lillian after Mary got put on blast with her pub stunt.
It's not that nobody likes Lillian currently, it's just easy to tap into mentally and emotionally on why we shouldn't like her in public.
But that's for everyone else.
It's been harder for me to be intimate with her.
I know I don't hate her.
It's not that I can't forgive her. I can, I've done it plenty of times before.
I don't know what it is, but I just can't allow myself to tolerate her knowing deep down I miss her.
What's wrong with me?
When I see her, I turn the other way.
I hear her voice, I get irritated.
She looks at me, I look somewhere else.
She cooks, I don't want to eat it.
I know I love her.
So why can't I actually do it?
~~~
Lillian's pov
I can't handle this- I don't even know what the hell to do.
I didn't know, I swear I didn't think much of it at the time. That day when Kent came home furious over the car, I swear.. I swear I didn't know it was over something serious as this. I didn't know that the reason Kent was eager to marry me was so that he could obtain assets under Stefani's mother's will from ongoing circumstances without Stefani's knowledge.
I didn't know.
It's eating me up.
I can't sleep, I can't eat.
I reach out, I get rejected.
I take a shower and I still feel dirty.
I try to talk to her about it, she shuts me down.
"I didn't know," I sniffled in the shower alone.
What I do know is that I don't blame Stefani for acting the way that she is.
I've hurt her before but I've never hurt her like this... she's never hurt me the way I've hurt her- never once. She can say really mean things when someone's putting too much pressure, but she's never reciprocated the amount of pain I've caused her.
That's enough dwindling, I have to get ready and move forward like this isn't eating me up alive.
I quickly get dressed to come out and find Kent and Lana talking about the wedding...
"Sorry, I'm late," I quickly made my way over.
I'm not sure how to go about this; ever since Mary's out break, we've all agreed to move accordingly. Stefani isn't fighting kent for the chair of being CEO, she said there's no need if both parties know who the seat truly belongs to. They both agreed to keep running things accordingly for the sake of the image and stability of the company.
Stefani somehow managed to pitch the idea to keep everything running smoothly.
I've always followed her lead, no matter the direction... but with her being so distant, I couldn't help but feel vulnerable and anxious knowing it's my fault.
"Where do you think you're-
"The police station. Mary is getting arrested for the wrong thing, it's a petty crime meaning the judge will give her a slap on the wrist. The real crime she's committed: the company's numbers-
"You got this," Kent gave her a- nod, an approving one at that.
Stefani eyed him briefly but she rolled them as she stormed off. For whatever reason, Kent had a soft but pained smile. These two have barely spoken and yet, they can get along with each other.
I can't even get Stefani to look at me the way she just did kent.
"Lillian, all hands on deck, the wedding is around the corner, we still have to pick the menus, the attire, the cake and dear god the dress- I have to disclose the details with the Cammery's about the music due to its setting- preferably classic pop songs should do the trick," Lana was ruffling through papers.
"I'd like to do something special with the menu- please? If that's alright?" I looked at Lana pleadingly and she adjusted her glasses to look at Kent.
"Don't look at me, after we get married I'm paying for child support with nothing to my name," he shrugged.
"So who's paying for-
"Stefani's paying for it. Kent remaining CEO until after the wedding is for the best interest of the company's image- Rachel took an internship with celebrity counseling or whatever that hog wash of a career is... so far she's quite spot on with her take... and actually good at her field work," Lana filled me in.
"Everyone is on their A-game," I blushed in embarrassment.
All I have to do is plan a stupid wedding with whatever I like and the expenses are limitless but... all I can think about is making things right with Stefani.
"Whatever you want, it will be provided," Lana assured.
"You know Stefani's mother-
"Constance Eugene Edwards.... Constance, yes. Believe it or not, I know this woman backwards but never forwards.. I don't know where she's from but I definitely know her favorite foods if that's your approach," Lana closed her notepad and removed her glasses to look at me.
"I wanna make this special for Stefani too... a little surprise at least," I almost winced knowing deep down it's an apology since we can't even speak to each other..
"I see but- nothing bad by this- stefani isn't culturally involved if that's where-
"N-no not at all! I know Stefani's extremely diverse in her pallets of being multicultural. I was asking about serving foods that her mother cooked? Surely she has a cook book-
"I don't have a lot- Stefani would be the one who holds all... but we can work with a few saved note cards that I do have. They've been laminated- thankfully," Lana went to her kitchen and dug into one of her cabinets to pull out a small booklet.
"Let's see here... garlic bread with sea salt pistachio butter spread and olive oil drizzle- slow cooked citrus salmon with coconut steamed rice and honey fried plantains? I think this will do!" I skimmed through the note cards.
"Does that mean we're looking at an island palette for the menu?" Lana questioned.
"Pineapple rum cake to seal the deal," I smiled and her eyes lit up too.
"I'm sure Stefani would love this," she assured me.
I hope she does- even if it's just a compliment out of her. I just want a moment to speak with her..