Justice POV;
I'm stuck painting hyacinths. You would think I've never seen another flower in my life, but each time I try, I'm stuck with a hyacinth. I might as well tatt one on my forehead because I couldn't get the flower out of my head.
Or I couldn't get the woman with its name out of my head.
It was pathetic as fuck how hooked I was on Hyacinthe even after I decided she couldn't be mine. But my feelings wouldn't go away, and the self imposed distance from her wasn't helping either.
Picturing her showing her dimpled smile that only came out when she laughed so hard she couldn't breathe to anyone but me made my irritation stir. It matured to full-on anger when I thought about someone kissing her lips when they were pouted in concentration when she was focusing on something.
Frustration plagued me as I mindlessly threw color on the cement wall that backed the one Hyacinthe and I had painted together. I figured focusing on something new would distract me from all the things reminding me of her, but painting here couldn't help anymore.
What was once my place was now ours, and I couldn't even be mad about it. But damn, I needed to be.
Things that brought me peace before dulled in comparison to my new vice. Cinthe was all the good in the world for me, but the dichotomy of life demanded balance.
Couldn't be good without an ounce of bad. Can't have love without the requirement of heartbreak. Life has no meaning without the presence of death. It was just the way of things. It was law.
This was the only way for me to take all the bad and leave her with the good. My half would be taken completely out of the equation to make room for more happiness and more life.
But I wasn't making all that room for a guy like Jabari to sweep in and muddy the waters.
"Shit." I muttered as a few cans scattered as I was in the process of putting them in my box to load them back into my car.
Painting just wasn't the vibe right now, not without someone else here with me.
"Justice?" Her voice rang out, stopping me in my tracks.
My head turns to take her in, and I can't help the small smile that appears whenever I see her.
She'd styled her natural hair today in some sort of half up and half down look that framed her face. Her thick thighs were out because she'd chosen a sundress for the weather and flashes of my hands gripping them tightly sent blood straight to my dick.
I ached to see her turn around and show me that fat, rounded ass of hers. Memories of leaving bite marks across it flashed in my mind as I bit my lip.
She was beautiful... but she had sadness weighing on her almost visibly.
Cinthe's shoulders were hunched a lil bit more than usual along with an unsure look on her face as she bit the corner of her bottom lip.
"Lemme guess, Lil' Cin, you're here to paint?" I teased, eager to see another emotion shine in those pretty brown eyes of hers.
Luckily, some of the hesitancy left, but she had something burning underneath it.
"But I don't have any paint." She shrugged a little, clear confusion in her tone.
My eyebrows raised as I stared at her, hoping the memory of the last time she pulled up on me would come back to her. It's clear the moment she realizes because she brightens slightly.
"Oh." Cinthe breathlessly laughs, and my fingers twitched to trace her dimples.
Fuck, I wanted to sear the memory of her into my fingerprints and that frustrated me more than I could understand.
Anger tickled at the back of my neck as I returned to my task of collecting my shit to head out. I still needed more time away from her before we could go back to being just friends.
"Why are you here, Cinthe? Ole dude didn't want to take you out on a Saturday night?" The words seeped out between clenched teeth as I tried to simmer back into nonchalance.
Especially since I'd never told her just how I felt when I saw Jabari that day with a bouquet of roses meant for my flower. He'd gotten a taste of her and still managed to fumble.
Even the thought of Cinthe's taste on my lips again awakened a dark addiction inside me that made it almost impossible to be a hypocrite. But I had to be for the sake of keeping us together despite it having to be in a platonic sense.
"Jabari? I haven't seen him in weeks." Sweet tones of honey and spice came from her lips. Tones so familiar to me that they often played like a record in my head.
"He'll be back." I shrugged with the actual hope that my words weren't true.
It was unrealistic since it didn't take much to begin with to get men to spin the block. But my flower had golden skin that begged to be kissed and lips that wrapped around my dick so sweet.
She wasn't forgettable, and from what I could tell, he wasn't that stupid.
It was unrealistic since it didn't take much to begin with to get men to spin the block. But my flower had golden skin that begged to be kissed and lips that wrapped around my dick so sweet.
She wasn't forgettable, and from what I could tell, he wasn't that stupid.
"But I chose, though." Cinthe spoke as she walked closer toward me. Just out of reach, but I still caught a hint of her calming scent of lavender.
"What are you talking 'bout?" I mumbled, turning back to the scattered cans again because the need to touch her was overwhelming.
"I chose." She whispered as she took another step closer, eyes slightly burning from some influx of emotion.
Silence hung between us as I paused.
Part of me noticed the inklings of decision that colored her expressions when she looked at me after break. But the other part of me didn't believe that she'd end up choosing me and hoped she'd be spared from my pessimistic view of love.
But it was out. She'd been the one with enough courage to finally admit it, which meant there was no turning back.
"What?" I asked, dreading and loving the truth she'd spoken. Caught in between wanting to hear her say it over and over again and wishing she'd take it back so things could stay the same.
But I wasn't dumb. Nothing between Cinthe and I would ever be platonic, and we'd been fooling ourselves to think it ever was.
"I chose you. I haven't been around Jabari since I came back from break, Justice. I chose you."
At this point, Cinthe was practically hovering over me as she spoke from how close she was, but she still didn't reach out to touch me. It was almost like she was treating me like a cornered animal.
"Shit." I cursed again and stood up. But, I couldn't face her and I couldn't hold her, so I shoved my hands in my pockets and scrutinized my piece again.
Arguably, it should be impossible to tell her I wasn't feeling her like that considering various colors of her namesake were scattered across the concrete. But it couldn't hurt to try.
All of this was for her benefit... for both of our benefits, so that we could have a fraction of our relationship and get out unscathed. I'd settle for a small piece if it meant she'd be whole.
"You heard me the other night, didn't you?" She asked, a frown morphing her features but never marring them. Even my slight flinch from the words couldn't stop my admiration of her.
"Cinthe, I'm not in a place where I can be in a relationship with you." I said, each word like acid on my tongue. Even as I said them, every fiber of my skin itched to touch her in ways that would ruin her for men after me and tarnish the memories of all men before me.
But it didn't compare to how the look of hurt on her face knocked the wind right out of me.
"Why didn't you say it back?" Surprise shocked me into making eye contact with her because that was the last question I expected her to ask.
I'd expected anger because I was essentially friend zoning her, not anger because she knew that I was running. Cinthe didn't doubt that I loved her, but she never knew that I'd be too stuck in the past to accept it.
Those three words had sounded so sweet on her lips, even with the film of sleep across them. They'd be like butter across her skin as wetness pooled in her panties if I could reciprocate them.
Except, they wouldn't come out. I'd thought them a thousand and one times, but my lips would never form the words. Not that I'd let them anyway.
"I—" I started, unsure of what to say next, but she pushed forward until she was almost chest to chest with me. Her head and shoulders raised into a strong stance as she squared up to me.
It reminded me why I always thought she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.
"You can fight for me and tell me that this thing between us is mutual, but you can't say it can you? After all this, you can't just tell me you love me too?" The rage melted from her lips as her rant continued, letting the betrayal and hurt hang in the air between us.
"Hyacinthe--"
"You don't get to do that." My head tilted in pained confusion. "You don't get to take it all back. We made a deal, we're in this." There was refusal in her tone as she rebelled against my anti-love sentiment. But I noticed that it was getting weaker the more she fought.
A single tear fell from her cheek, and my fingers ached to wipe it away. But still, they sat clenched in my pockets.
She'd forgive me if I would just move... if I would just conquer the fear she'd been mastering this whole time to even confess the magnitude of her feelings for me. I knew she would, but I couldn't let her.
Even if the anger in her eyes matched the one in my soul.
So instead, I backed her against the same wall we'd spent hours painting together and wrapped her in my embrace. Both my hands were hard against the cement, and my head rested just above her neck as I breathed in her sweet and almost spiced scent.
When my lips finally lightly traced her rapid pulse, I didn't miss the shiver that raked over her and settled between her thighs. Already my control was slipping as my dick hardened against the zipper of my pants as I wondered if she'd let me revel in the feel of her sweet pussy just one more time.
"You don't think I want this? I want to say those words to you, but I won't." I confessed and stepped further into her. Now, I could almost feel her heartbeats against my chest.
Fast and furious and... electrifying. The sensation of her body against mine was intoxicating as her curves fit perfectly to mine.
Her face showed it all. Her heart beating, splintering, and breaking all because of the words "I won't." Not can't, but won't.
Numbness and anger waged war against sadness and heartache. I couldn't tell which was winning as she stared at me in disbelief. Still, we both knew that want was practically dripping off of us.
Chills ran up my spine when a realization finally came to her and her frown deepened into betrayal.
"So this was all a game for you? Bring me in just to push me away?"
Accusations were easy, easier than telling me how much I was hurting her. Easier than me admitting that old fears were making me.
But I was furious. Partly with myself, but my blood boiled that she thought everything I'd done was an elaborate scheme to play her.
I didn't even have a chance to think better of it before I was lifting my flower by her thighs to wrap them tightly around my waist. She didn't fight it and easily wrapped her hands around my neck to get leverage from the position.
There was no one around to witness as my fingers slid between us to tease at the seam of her covered sopping cunt. A sharp inhale parted those pretty lips that always kissed me so perfectly and wrapped around my dick like my cum was meant to drip from them.
I slid her panties to the side to rub her clit in circles because I knew it drove her just as crazy as I was whenever I was within touching distance of her. Satisfaction filled me now that one my hands possessed her ass while the other owned her pussy.
Restraint was never one of my strong suits, so I didn't even bother fighting as I moved to capture her lips to sate my addiction. I'd been in withdrawal without her, and now that she was moaning into my mouth as I tasted and teased her, I was finally getting my fix. For likely the last time.
Probably sensing the inevitable end, Cinthe pulled me in closer as I sank my thick fingers inside her and curved them ever so slightly.
I needed her moans like I needed air to breathe. I needed her cum like a starved man needed water.
I needed her love...but I'd settle for this. At least that's what I told myself.
"Please put it inside me, baby. Please." She shuddered against me as I worked her through a quick orgasm and only left her cunt to taste the wetness from her honeyed depths.
I loved when she called me baby. It was like she was claiming me, and my uncontrollable adoration for her was the same reason I knew this had to be our goodbye.
Every part of her was exquisite, and my tastebuds burst as her flavor covered my tongue. Already I could feel the stickiness of precum against my boxers as I tried to stop myself from rutting against her.
I'd be lost to her if we stayed together, and I couldn't handle the thought of losing her anymore than I already had to.
"Fuck, you're making this so hard for me, flower." I muttered just as I'd pressed my forehead to the concrete beside her.
Still, I didn't stop her when she pulled open my pants and pressed my bare dick against her folds. My groans ricocheted across the wall as I felt how dripping wet she was for me as she slowly filled herself with me.
We'd fucked raw before, but this time had the same feel of lightning against thunderous clouds. God, she was my personal heaven.
Inch by inch slipped in as she pushed me further and further inside. I let her set the pace, slowly moving in to follow her lead until I was fully seethed and our pelvises met.
"Give me everything." She whispered as she clutched me tight in her embrace as my hips moved slowly in and out of her.
I fought against overwhelming lust as I tried to memorize the sound of her low moans and the wet noise of our connecting bodies each time I thrusted into my flower's entrance.
"I can't." I lowly replied, pulling out until just the head of my dick was inside before slamming forward again as I chased the feeling of her encasing me in her pussy as she came.
I didn't have to wait long because my good girl always gave me what I wanted. Her legs tightened around my waist as she gripped my dick with her pussy, but I couldn't stop myself from rubbing her bud as I continued my fucking to draw out her orgasm.
Hyacinthe Jasmine Claiborne would remember me. Even if I had to sear my name into her cunt with my dick.
I was brought out of my thoughts as I felt cold wetness hit my shoulder, and I pulled back to stare into her eyes filled with tears.
"Don't stop." She whispered as she caressed my cheek with longing. "Please stay with me." She mumbled as I continued stroking her as more tears cascaded down her cheeks.
Oddly, this was probably the most beautiful my flower had ever been. Her eyes shining with a raw love and vulnerability while my dick filled her and tears that made our kisses slightly salted.
I hated that I was depriving myself of this view, but I forced myself to focus on bringing her pleasure even as I brought her pain.
"You don't fucking get it, Hyacinthe." My forehead rested on hers as I said the pain-filled words, but still she kept meeting my thrusts to cover up the goodbye with pleasure.
I never knew pain could be associated with her name, but familiar feelings of loss were pulling me into their embrace.
"My parents had this. Everything my father felt, I feel for you and when shit is that strong, death always comes around to end it. If I say those words to you, we won't get a happy fucking ending, it'll just be the end." We both stopped our movements as she absorbed everything I'd said.
Once again, silence hung between us as I confessed one of the greater pains of my life.
And I watched as understanding registered in my flower's soft features before sadness wiped it away and her resolve.
"Okay." Cinthe whispered with defeat, her shoulders falling slightly even as she still clutched the back of my neck in her hands as I retreated only to settle myself back between her legs.
Our moans of ecstasy harmonized as we both gave up on talking and embraced the feeling of our bodies connected in ways we'd dream about.
I bent my head to watch my dick slide in and out of her, glistening with the abundant elixir of her cunt. It was hypnotizing watching her fall apart and squirm her hips for more.
She was mine in this moment, and I loved every second of it a little bit more as she gave me orgasm after orgasm to attach my name to.
It felt like we'd been fucking for hours just as the familiar ache to cum pulled at my spine. My movements became frantic as I thrusted deeper, harder, faster to give her one last earth shattering orgasm before I pulled out and spilled dollop after dollop of cum.
My eyes rolled to the back of my head as she wrapped her hand around me as I came, making my whole body oversensitive as she pulled more cum from me as she stroked.
Only until I had nothing left to give did she stop, and even then, she pulled me into a sweet, somber kiss that told me all her hopes for us but that none of them could come true.
As she retreated and fixed herself up, coldness creeped into me and a new type of pain raked over me as I buckled my own pants.
"I guess I'll see you when I see you then." She shrugged like what we'd just done didn't mean a thing, turning away before I could muster a response.
Cinthe was leaving me and taking the last few pieces of me that I had left.
The light she gave was dim now, and darkness was settling back in places that it'd been driven away from.
Just as she disappeared from view, I realized I'd give anything to stay in the light just a lil' bit longer.
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Surprise! I lengthened the chapter and added a spicy scene 😉. You're welcomeeee.
I'm still planning on updating this week, so be on the lookout!
Andddd I've decided I will be doing interconnected standalones for Divine and Olivia's stories. Divine's will be released first on Wattpad...
BUTTTT I plan on creating a Patreon to release about five chapters ahead on Divine's story while releasing Olivia's somewhat simultaneously.
Let me know if you guys would be interested! Release date TBA~