THE OTHER BROTHER
CHAPTER 34
KHANYISILE
I don’t know why I have been subjected into taking these boxing classes. They annoy me at times, and they awaken the things inside of me which I thought I had buried. In fact, I smile but I am not coping. My life is fast as a train, making it hard for me to jiggle with schoolwork. At some point I get to feel like quitting. I love Mkhuleko yes, but he has added a lot of traumas into my life. I still have nightmares of the incidents of that day. Him pushing me out of a moving car... I shake my head not wanting to think deeply. All the what ifs are not settling with me. What if I am cursed in a way? My parents, not for once have they tried making contact with me. I have also given up. But I have never tried, what is the use of it? No more hope left in me. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. Amanda will be going home for the holidays. And for me I will be stuck here in Durban. I have no home to run to. No parents to go too. At least I do have Babana here with me. I want to offload some things, but I have no one to talk to. Amanda is going through something, and she is failing to talk to me. I will not push her until she is ready to tell me whatever is going on with her. Thabi on the other hand, she is still adjusting to this new life of hers. She called me last night and told me that she had a fall out with her mother. I honestly don’t know what is wrong with that woman. Thinking about her just makes my body cringe in a way. I take a deep breath once more. And then there is Mkhuleko – that one is always busy for his butt to even sit down. I am alone, even when I came into this world, and even when I die. I will still be alone. It's a strange thing, this life that we live. We all hope for someone to lift us up from our miseries and problems. Someone to stay by our side as we walk forward and face our problems. But I must remember. No one is coming to save me. Not even my cold parents! It's a journey worth walking on I believe. I look at the entrance anticipating whether to enter or not. I turn to walk away but someone stops me before I could even turn to walk away. I swear some people are always here to be spies in our lives. Couldn’t they have just left me in peace!
“Khanyisile...”
I face the stupid lady and fake a smile. “Fake smiles don’t work with me. Your session is about to start.” The fake smile gets wiped off my face and is replaced with a frown. My shoulder slumbers as I follow her inside.
“Sit down.” She instructs all of us. She has a body man, technically she looks like a man. “Meditate positions everyone!”
There is absolutely no reason to shout her lungs out. We heard. We all sit and seat in the meditating position.
“Clear your mind of all thoughts; concentrate on breathing in through the nose, out through the mouth; steady deep breaths and a clear mind will prepare you.”
The class becomes silent. I want to open my eyes so bad, but this manly girl will have me for her satanists dinner.
“I started martial arts at the age of forty. Five years later, I still can't do the splits or execute a jumping reverse turning kick well, but I am fitter, stronger, and happier because of my training.”
God! I didn’t ask this old white lady. Why is she all over my space? I wish to kick her tiny butt right now!
“Not Now Magriza.” That is Stacy warning. She continues to walk around. “Forget school. Forget work. Forget family, problems, everything -- visualize them evaporating before your eyes. Once everything is gone, you should see an empty room, and in the center of the empty room, a ball of flame begins growing from the emptiness. This flame of firing strength and energy should represent anything you hope to achieve by training yourself in Karate. By the time you are done with your meditation, the room should be entirely engulfed by nothing but the flame.”
Indeed, it feels just the way Stacy has been explaining. We are told to stand up. I am taken to another room leaving the others behind. I don’t know which sessions I do. Karate or boxing. But all in all, it’s annoying me. I don’t know why Mkhuleko will do this to me. This whole shit is just awakening something in me. She points out the punching bag and I am told to follow along. Stading in position.
“Blocking is just as important! Practice blocking as though these were the punches you were being attacked with. Experiment with combinations and counter attacks. Defend, attack.” She keeps quiet and suddenly screams behind my ear. “Attack!”
It feels so good to punch. I can feel the chemicals in the brain are released and through repetition. My chest is burning with a desire to punch harder and even more.
I know that swinging at a punching bag can increase anger and aggression levels. No wonder I am this angry person. I am adding more anger to the anger I have from the depth of me.
“Attack more!” She screams behind me making my blood boil. I hate it when she does this. She is pushing me to my limits, and I hate it. I can feel the adrenaline of anger. My skin perspires.
“Aim for it. Come on!” She shouts again. Every muscle in me is stiff. The face of my father flashes. More anger builds up. All I see is red. Someone pulls me from behind. I pant heavily. I feel emotionally exhausted and heartbroken. I feel like breaking down and crying.
“You let all your emotions on that punching. Don’t be weak. Fight it!” She aggressively let's go of me. I hold my breath for a minute to calm myself down. She annoys me. Lord knows how I wish to beat her arse up.
My session today was emotional. I have no idea why. I suggested therapy to Stacy, and she bluntly told me that it was for the weak. So, I took a step back. Looking at myself now and comparing myself to the old Khanyi. I see a lot of changes. I now get to pay attention to my surroundings. I try to make sense of what people say. I admit I was slow. How did Skhosane keep up with me up in that way? I chuck. Some things are just embarrassing to be honest. I do have a glimpse of my craziness. Amanda is the worst. She would shake my head and tell me to wake up. How I focused on class. I have no idea too. I wonder if there are still bullies out there. I sigh in exhaustion. My mind is just not functioning today. I feel like something bad will or about to happen. But I have no idea what. I shake the thought off. I need to take a warm shower, maybe my mind wil function in a better state. Mkhuleko will be here in no time. He asked me to accompany him tomorrow to fetch Manqoba. I wonder how will Thabi tackle this febbing station of hers. It’s like this baby she is carrying is the course of her misbehaving. I smile. But non the less, I love her with her whoring ways. I just cannot wait to meet my niece or nephew. I will truly make a great aunt.
“If it’s me making you smile like that. Then I have nothing to worry about.”
“Weeee Mkhuleko, I met a new man.” I say and wiggle my eyebrows. I see a frown on his face. I want him to be where I want him to be.
“What did you say?”
“I said...”
“I heard what you said.”
“Pho ufunani?” I ask. Annoying him even more. He marches towards me. Pulls me by my arm and twists it. I don’t know what happened, but I find myself punching the hell out of him. I didn’t mean it. I stand there frozen still looking at him holding his jaw. Blood.
“Ow my God. I don’t know what happened. I’m so sorry.” I'm already flying all over the room trying to search for a towel. I am even afraid to ask how bad the damage is. I hurt for hurting him. I open the drawer and take out some wipes. I can feel his heavy presence behind me. He kisses the back of my neck and turns me around. The smile on his face scares me to death. I look at him confused.
“That is the wife material I ordered. Stacy is doing a good job. I see.” He picks me up and throws me on top of the bed with him getting on top of me.
“Huh.” Honestly, I am confused. Shouldn’t he be mad at me?
“I love what you are becoming. Standing up for yourself. I vowed to make you strong. And you are just following the right path. I am happy.” He says pressing his lips against mines. I am consternated.
“I want you to defend yourself in difficult situations. That is why I suggested for you to take part in the shooting range and then boxing classes.”
I keep quiet. “What is on your mind? I can see that you are thinking something.” He says.
I take a deep breath. His body is heavy on top of mine. “I still have trauma of what happened that day. You pushing me out of the car.”
We never really spoke about it. It happened and we just went past that stage. But that has been eating me up ever since. I still have thoughts of me being pushed out of the moving car.
“I’m sorry sthandwa sami. I did not mean to but that was the only way for us to stay alive. I promise to try not to put you into those kinds of situations again. I will try protecting you from seeing such.” I nod my head. Him apologizing is all that I wanted. I trust him – stupid me.
Later that afternoon Mkhuleko decided to go out. He said he had an Important meeting with his brother. He promised me to meet him. But under good circumstances, not when there is trouble.
“You seem different these days mntanami.” That is Babana making his way to the kitchen.
“What else can I say. I am happy.” I respond. I am making tea for myself. He looks at me with so much admiration. Ow how I love this.
“I have something to tell you.” He blurts out. I stop making the tea and stand beside him. I can feel him shaking.
“Babana, are you okay?’ I ask. Fear takes in. What if he wants to leave?
“Your mother...”
“I bought takeaways.” Stacy shouts, making her way to the kitchen. What the hell is she doing here? Infact how did she enter without knocking? Manners are no where to be found. I swear Mkhuleko will be roasted for dinner. I just look at her dumfounded. Can't she see we are about to have a serious conversation! My nose flares.
“You look cute with your nose flared. Tell your man I am here.” She leaves the kitchen. I swear this girl gets on my nerves. My father laughs nervously. I remember he wanted to tell me something before we were rudely interrupted.
“I’m sorry. You were saying?”
“Ow, I was asking if you have made any contact with your mother?” If I knew that he wanted to ask me that. I would have stopped him from asking me. But why is he looking nervous?
“No, I haven't.”
He nods his head in understanding. I watch him as he slowly limps to the dining room area. My mood has just died down. With this girl in here I feel unsettled. Mkhuleko should keep his female friends far away from where I stay. Bloody big head.
MKHULEKO
*At your flat. We have a problem* I read the text sent by Stacy. I wonder what problem it is. I drop everything and rush out. Will be coming back later on to collect my order. Good thing the slip is with me. I drive out of the Eatery in full speed. I will see Jack later. I was meant to be in some business meeting for the upcoming dealings. I lied to Khanyi and said I am meeting up with my brother. Arriving I found Stacy chilling watch rugby. With her feet on the coffee table. I know Khanyi must be angry wherever she is.
“Remove your feet off the table. Do you want to be buried alive.”
She chucks and removes them off the table. With the bubble gum she is eating! I know that shit is down.
“The warehouse was set on fire.” She looks at her watch. “50 % of 1 hour.”
“What the hell are you saying?” I ask.
She rolls her eyes. “Thirty minutes ago.”
I rush towards the door. “Too late. The place has been evaded by the cops. Check it in the morning.”
“Any leads?”
“Smooth, clean job. No traces.”
I wonder who could have done it. The loops we have been having lately are not sitting well with me.
“Just wanted to let you know. I should get going before my girlfriend kills me.” I watch her as she walks out. I see Khanyi making her way to me with a shocked expression on her face.
“She dates girls.” The expression is priceless. I am stressed but sometimes my dhomoroza kills me with laughter. Just the distraction I need.
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After tossing and turning throughout the night. I asked Khanyi to accompany me to fetch Manqoba. I swear this guy is doing the unthinkable. Who follows a girl they hardly know? Is her pussy that good. I can bet it has all different kinds of flavors.
“I wonder what is making you smile like that.” She asks. I have one hand on the steering wheel and the other hand entwined with hers. I love driving around with her.
“My brother is becoming isiyoyoyo because of your sister.” She lets out her sweet, soft laugh. Ah this girl.
“I will tell Thabi uzobona.” She says still laughing. I love everything about her from head to toes. I even love her with her mouth open when asleep. I believe that she was a match made from heaven for me.
“So vele their thing is official?” She asks.
“I have no idea babe. But my brother seems to be fazed by your sister and I find it cute. Yazi I have never seen him this taken and smitten by a girl he has recently met. It’s like Thabi is using pink water.”
“I am worried because she agreed on the arrange thingy.” She takes a dee breath.
“I am pretty sure she knows what she is doing. But I will also advise you to talk to her before this gets out of hand.” I tell her. Her phone pinggs. She reads the text and laughs shaking her head. This male bestie is annoying. I do not trust her, but he texts every now and again. I think it's high time I installed every social media that she has. I will be liking and commenting like crazy.
"This guy says he is ditching his baby mama. He doesn’t want to accompany her to the hospital. Apparently, he has a hospital phobia. Is there such?” she asks, still laughing.
"My brother has it. But it was caused by the past trauma experience.”
"What happened?” She shifts her focus to me.
"I don’t really want to talk about it. Let's just say I will tell you all about it when the time is right.”
I swallow the bile rising up.
"That is why you were rough with me that day?” I swallow even hard.
I never meant to hurt her, but I did. I am meant to be her protector and not her abuser. "I'm sorry Toti.”
"This name again. Like really Prayer.”
I hate it when she calls me by that name. I am the total complete opposite of my name. Mkhuseli was meant to be Mkhuleko and not me. I am the Menace. The danger is me and I smell danger from a distance.
“I hate you.” I pinch her cheeks making her blush. I don’t imagine my life without this soul. What will I ever do if she were to throw a towel and move on with her life. My watch beeps. I look at it and it’s a text from Impiyakhe. They are under attack. And we are being tailed. I look at Khanyi and she is glaring back at me. She is aware of the notification.
“I’m sorry.” I just said sorry not so long ago and here we are.
“Mkhuleko...”
I take my gun out from the dashboard and cock it. I place it in between my thighs and continue to drive. I see her looking around.
“Don’t panic mama. Just relax.” I check the rear mirrors and I see the red car following. Shooting begins. She screams and covers her ears. She goes down and hides her head on her knees.
“Shit!” They shot the petrol tank. Mother fuckers!
Smoke coming from behind. If I keep moving this car will turn into flames with us inside. I have no other option but to move it to the side of the road. I am sure they were waiting for a certain spot to attack. We are in the middle of nowhere. I finally manage to park the car on the side. The doors won't open. Shooting the widows will be a waste of time. They are laminated glass. With smoke filling the car too – I have no option for us to be out. I see a show on the outside widow, The person fiddles with the door until it opens. I know this car will blow up in time. At least I lived and loved. I look at Khanyi she is a crying mess.
“I love you.” It must be the last words I share on this earth...