Clara POV:
My eyes flickered open, releasing me out of my short lived sleep. The light showed in full force through my room. It was morning. I was in bed.
That's when I remembered.
I remembered everything. How I had run out. I felt the dull aches of my legs as I moved, trying to stop my ever growing panic. I remembered how Meredith had found me, and put me into her car. How I had yelled at her. How I had cried to her. But that's the last thing I remember. I still had yet to see Addison.
In that moment, panic overtook me. My mind raced towards all of the possibilities of what may have happened last night when I so stupidly allowed myself to fall asleep in the back of the car. How had Addison reacted when I came home? Is she even here, or did she leave too? The time was 9:30. School had begun and she hadn't even woken me.
Tears slowly ran down my now dried out face. I tried to suppress my sobs, attempting to listen for any movement around the house. I wanted to find out as much as I could. I have always needed to know what to expect: what was coming next.
That's when I heard Addison's voice from the room over, as well as the shuffling of footsteps. She was talking to someone quietly, although I couldn't decipher what about. To my surprise, I then heard Meredith's now familiar voice in response.
From that inaudible conversation I could make out two things. Well, rather eliminate two possibilities from the long, long list. One: Addison had not left me here all alone. She was still here. That brings me to my other conclusion, which is more so a fact: Addison is not alone. Meredith is here with her. With us, I suppose. I smiled a bit, adding that to my mental list of observations to report back to Amelia for our secret mission.
I frowned again. Amelia. Amelia might be upset with me too. Now was certainly not the time to be speculating on Addison's love life. Not after I had already betrayed her trust. I wished I could rewind the time: back to Saturday. Back to when we were all gathered around the table as one big family would. I hadn't made a mess of things then. At least not the mess I was in now.
Suddenly, I came to the realization that the background conversation between Meredith and Addison had stopped. The talking was now replaced with footsteps that seemed to be approaching the door. I was proved to be right when the door opened a crack. I turned my head to face the now open door, for my tear streaked face to be met by Addison's.
She had a stern expression on her face. My heart ached for the smile I had grown used to. I felt my heart race as she made her way over to me, yet to say anything. I prepared for the worst. To be hit. To be told to pack my bags.
But of course, that's not what Addison did.
She arrived at the foot of the bed and sat down, still in her nightgown. She gently pulled me onto her lap, holding me as I felt small droplets fall from her eyes and onto my neck.
"I'm so sorry, Addison," I began to cry. It felt awful seeing her upset. Even more so knowing I was the one who made her this way. "I'm sorry," I continued to repeat.
"You're here, ok?" She said, pulling back to look me in the eyes, forcing a smile through her tears. "That's all that matters. You're here and I love you, okay?"
"I love you too," I said aloud.
And that was the truth. The blue eyes that looked down on me felt like home now. The truth was that I was too scared to lose them on someone else's terms.
"Is Meredith still here?" I asked after a bit of quiet.
"Yea, she spent the night last night," she answered.
"I'm really sorry I upset you," I repeated once again.
"I'm sorry if I upset you. I'm sorry if I was the one who made you run," she answered.
I looked up at her, confused for a moment. I was sure that Meredith had already told her the reasons. Because it certainly wasn't because of anything she had done.
"How much did Meredith tell you?" I asked.
"Not much," she replied. "We both knew you'd tell me about it when you're ready."
"Oh, ok," I smiled softly, settling myself closer to her.
And I did. I told her absolutely everything. About how she would most likely be getting a call from Mrs. Parsons any minute. About how I lied about not having nightmares anymore. How I was afraid she'd leave if I messed up, just like my other foster families had.
And yes, I was scared telling her all of those things. But I was ready. And I knew that she needed to know. I hope she can help me.
Addison POV:
It's around noon now. Clara and I had eaten breakfast with Mer, and she left to go start her day about an hour ago. Clara is upstairs taking a nap, as I knew she had been out most of the night last night.
While anything is better than how I felt last night, I still feel sick knowing that she felt running to be her only option. I know she is only eight, so she may not have known any other way out. But she's been through so much. Too much for an eight year old.
And now I was her mom. Well, her foster mom. But I feel like her mom. It's my job to help her. To figure out where we go from here.
While she was still asleep, I decided to make some calls. First to Mrs. Parsons. I wanted to call her before she got a chance to call me. God knows she's concerned about the wrong things for my eight year old. I insisted on coming in for a conference tomorrow to sort things out. While I would try to keep things civil, I couldn't make any promises. The last thing I wanted to do right now is talk kindly to that woman. But I couldn't exactly go in and scream at her during the school day. Thankfully for me, I have quite some practice with subtle intimidation. I am a Forbes-Montgomery after all. And times like these were the perfect times to pull out my tricks.
And then I called Violet. I trusted Violet. I knew she would take care of Clara. Therapy did wonders for me. It made me realize I really could be a mom. And now it was happening. But like I said, Clara's been through so much already. I just hope that I haven't already failed her by not getting her help sooner.
Finally, I called Cora before going to check on Clara. I knew Clara would need her tonight. She needed someone familiar. After of course briefing her on the situation (not that she wouldn't want to see her anyway- just so she would be in the know), she agreed to meet us out on the beach at around 5:00 tonight.
After I finished my phone calls I headed upstairs to Clara's room, feeling somewhat relieved that I had at least made a start on picking up the pieces. I gently knocked on the door, before hearing her small voice inviting me to come in. I entered the room to find her sitting at her desk, working on a painting. She was painting a road covered in flowers: lilies, daisies, lavenders.
"I take you didn't sleep much," I laughed, alluding to the fact that she had gone up to "sleep" not even an hour and a half ago.
"No," she smiled back, setting her brush down in her water cup to look up at me. "I tried for a bit. I figured my time would be better used doing this."
"You're already a little copy of me," I laughed. "Always having to fill your time with something."
"Yea, I guess so," she smiled.
"What do you say we have a beach evening tonight? I know how much you love it," I smiled, hoping that I wasn't being too overbearing.
"I'd love that," she replied, turning back to work on the vines on her painting.
"Ok, come down whenever you're ready," I told her, leaving the little artist to work, soft Taylor Swift music playing in the background.
I decided not to tell her that Cora was coming over. I would leave that a surprise for later.
*
Only two hours later Clara and I were all set up on the beach. I brought a picnic basket with our dinner down with us, laying on top of towels. It reminded me so closely of our first time meeting. Only, so much has changed since then. Good and bad. But right now, I would choose to focus on the good. I had my daughter laying on the towel beside me, close and comfortable.
"So, I have something I wanted to ask you," I said to Clara, a bit nervous as to how she would take it.
She looked up at me expectantly.
"I'm so proud of you for telling me how you're feeling. About me, Josh, school, and how sometimes it's hard for you to sleep." She nodded hesitantly as I continued. "I talked to my good friend Violet who works at my practice and she's the best therapist I know. She would be able to start helping you work through some of your feelings. We'll do only what you're comfortable with though. If you don't want to go where I work, we could go somewhere else. Or we don't have to go just yet. But I do think it's something that would help you," I finished, rubbing gentle circles on her back.
She said nothing for a moment, taking in the information she had been given. This, I had expected.
"Will you be there?" She asked after a moment.
"Only if you want me to be," I answered.
"Yea, I would. At least until I get used to her. What did you say her name was again?" She asked, her cheeks going a bit red.
"Violet," I smiled, as I began to hear footsteps approaching from behind us.
I sat smiling, awaiting Clara's reaction as she snapped her head back to see Cora standing next to us on the beach, her arms open for a hug.
"Cora!" She announced, running into her arms, her face immediately brightening.
"I missed you little bug," Cora said, still holding tight to Clara.
Although it had only been a few days since they last spoke, it was over a week since they had seen each other.
"I missed you too," she returned.
The two walked back over to our towels, still chatting and smiling.
It was a cool night- now early December, so the three of us sat together in sweatshirts as we felt the breeze move by us.
As we watched the sunset together, I felt at ease for the first time in 24 hours. We had peace.
A/N: This should be the last of the more solemn chapters for a bit as we move forward. Thanks so much for your continued support. As always, votes and comments are so so appreciated! Have a great week! (: