warnings: self harm mentions
age: 15
not wanda's daughter
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Y/N's POV
It isn't rare for me to find myself alone in my bedroom, dwelling on everything wrong in my life.
Everyone goes on and on about how seemingly beautiful life is, when all I experience is a dull and grey version of the world.
I'm not even sure what the purpose of life is, but I've become more and more aware of how fast time really is. And whatever life is supposed to be about, I don't want to spend it in the misery that I am.
I'm almost certain that a fifteen year old shouldn't want to spend the majority of her time cutting her arms or legs up. Hence why I think today is gonna be the day I tell Wanda about my coping mechanisms.
We've always been fairly close. I wouldn't say she treats me like a daughter but then again, what do I know about how daughters are supposed to be treated? My parents practically disowned me as soon as they saw how shitty my mental health is, which is why I had to switch to living at the Compound.
Wanda's always been here for me, though. She doesn't spend extra time checking on me or anything since she doesn't even know of my struggles, but she does always make sure that I'm comfortable with anything going on and she's sort of like a best friend.
But oh, how I need a mother. I don't even care about having a relationship with a father figure, since it's (most of the time) natural for a child to seek it's mother's comfort first.
It's not even my mother's comfort that I want, that ship has sailed. What I do want, however, is comfort from a mother figure.
I'm yet to learn who that is for me.
Having spent hours debating it, I pull up Wanda's contact and go to message her.
wanda<3
hey, would you mind coming up to my room when you have a second?
Sure, hon. Want me to bring you anything? Food? A drink?
just you:)
After that, I lock my phone again and wait anxiously for the witch to appear.
Five minutes later, she does. And with a couple of snacks and energy drinks in her hands.
"I know you said you didn't want any but you haven't been down to eat today so," she ends her sentence and places all the food and such onto my desk before walking over and taking a seat in front of me on my bed.
"What's up, buttercup?" she asks softly. I think she can sense that this is gonna be an uncomfortable conversation.
I start stuttering, lost for words as I try to explain my thoughts. I haven't done this before.
"First of all," I finally manage to get out, "I have to tell you something... and I need you to keep it a secret from the rest of the team."
Her brows furrow as she shuffles around to face me more. "Okay. Then it's kept."
Despite the reassurance, I still can't seem to find my words.
"I think, um," I start, but pause and take a deep breath. "I think I may need some help. I've been... uh, I've been hurting myself. God, no, that sounds so attention seeking, I'm sorry, I-"
"Y/N," she interrupts, taking my hand in hers. "Darling, that's not attention seeking. I know that was hard to tell me, but I'm really glad you did because now I can help you. Can you go into more detail for me?"
Suddenly getting scared, I shake my head out of fear.
"That's okay. You don't have to," she reassures me with a light smile resting on her lips.
"I'm scared, Wanda," I admit quietly, she nods and helps me clamber onto her lap, where I cling onto her as tight as I possibly can.
"You're gonna be okay, my love. I promise you. I'm gonna watch out for you, I swear. I wish I had known sooner, darling, I could have helped you."
I shake my head. "I doubt that. I've tried all of those stupid techniques that are out there but nothing seems to work."
Really, all of the things people say to do to prevent the damage when you hurt yourself is bullshit. Maybe it works with some, but most people need actual help. I think I may be in that category.
It's right at the tip of my tongue to tell Wanda that I really need to have her act more as a parent to me, but my words are failing me. Besides, she might not want that.
"Your mind is reeling again, my darling," she points out, probably being able to feel how fast my thoughts are going.
"Can you please... um, can you..." I attempt to tell her.
"You can say it, Y/N. I won't ever judge you," she tells me genuinely as I nuzzle in even further to her.
"I-I really feel like I might need a parental figure to help me through this, instead of just a friend."
After saying the words, I freeze. But then when I look up a couple of seconds later, I see Wanda looking down at me with so much love as she begins to caress my cheek.
"I've got you, sweetheart. A mother you need, a mother I'll be."
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posting this in the car on the way to wales🫶🏻