★
12th December 2013.
7 years ago...
"So, you're with Harry?"
On the other side of the room, Harry stands with his curly hair brushed back from his face but small strands still flick forward around his ears.
I am mystified by the smile that graces his face while he converses with someone that called his name loudly through the crowd and summoned him.
He really is fascinating to watch. The way he is so delicately shy and yet somehow manages to command the entire room and have everyone here enraptured with his presence. Without even trying he has caught the interest of everyone standing on that side of the party. Beady sets of eyes and perked ears hang off every word he says during his story while moving his hand about and in turn moving the tumbler around.
The boyish grin that stretches his lips as he spills some of his drink makes me smile. Subconsciously, I find my heart beating quicker at the carefree smile.
"Arlie?"
"Hmm?" I turn towards where the voice was coming from, finally snapping myself out of the Harry-induced trance. "Sorry, what was that?"
"Are you and Harry together?"
"Sorry?-" I nearly choke on the small sip of tequila I just drank.
The lady that I was making small talk with asks me the same question but all it does is reinforce the stiffness in my body as I realise I have no clue what Harry and I are. These last two months have just been us having fun, we didn't label anything and I didn't think we had to but in hindsight, we should have realised that coming to events like this would start gossip and provoke questions that I don't think either of us have the answers for yet.
"You and Harry?" She continues to pry as I hastily look over in Harry's direction, hoping that he is no longer the star of the show so that he can come and save me.
Sure enough, like the saving grace that he is, he starts to weave his way through the crowd. Smiling and nodding politely, he doesn't stop as he makes his way towards me on a mission.
"Hey, Trouble!" He calls out happily just as he gets close enough for me to hear over the pounding music. "I thought I lost you for a sec..."
I smile tightly, giving him wide eyes and hopefully conveying a message that I need to stop talking to this lady and fast.
He understands in record time, his large hand falling to the small of my waist as he pulls me ever so slightly back into him and the warmth that comes with being so close to someone who glows from the inside out like him.
"Well, you found me again!" I chirp. "Are you ready to go?"
"Just about, are you?" He answers, discreetly backing the two of us up so we create a distance between us and the nosey lady who is most likely just trying to find information to either sell or spread.
"Mmm hmm," I hum. "I could use some pizza,"
His eyes light up at my suggestions as he rounds the back of me and starts to hug me from behind. His strong arms wind around my waist and haul me further back into him while still carefully edging away in the most subtle way.
"Pizza sounds good. Quick down this!" Reaching from behind, he tucks his hand under my glass to raise it to my lips and encourages me to quickly chug the last few mouthfuls in one go. "Atta girl!"
Shaking my head at the bitter taste that is gliding down my throat, Harry pinches at my waist in praise before letting go while prying the glass from my hand. He shuffles around behind me to place it on a random bookshelf before grabbing my hand and giving it two quick squeezes.
"Sorry, we've got to run. Got to get my girl some pizza and all–" Harry manages to spit out in a string of giggles while pulling me away from both her and the party.
"It was nice to meet you!" I shout out as my arm nearly gets yanked from the socket while he leads me away in a rush.
I burst into a fit of laughter at the perturbed look on the lady's face as Harry drags me away with the tidbit of information she was so keen to get her hands on. She watches us disappear into the crowd the entire time with her narrowed eyes glued onto our joint hands while I try not to trip over my own feet.
That final mouthful of tequila hits my stomach and starts to react to my already inebriated body. My vision isn't blurry but there is a slight fuzz to the edges of everything, including Harry's figure as he leads the way.
Tripping over my own feet, I fall into his back which causes him to let out a childish giggle as we come to the final room that we have to snake our way through.
"What was she asking you?" He mumbles, looking back at me briefly and then returning his gaze to where we were going.
"Stuff about me and you," I say. "She wanted to know if we were together."
He nods slowly, rolling his lips in on themselves. "What did you say?"
"I didn't." I bluntly reply. "That's why I was hoping you were going to come and save me."
"Like your knight in shining armour?"
I roll my eyes, feeling the rumbling of his laughter vibrate against my chest as I cling to him. "Let's not get too cocky there, Pretty boy," I reply. "I'm not exactly some damsel in distress here,"
He shrugs. "Maybe not but it is fun to save you from time to time,"
His cheeky grin radiates with the brightness of someone who is so confident in themselves.
"I'm not cut out for this. I don't even know what I am doing here, honestly." I confess with a sigh.
"At the afterparty?" Harry quips his eyebrow, looking over his shoulder as he leads me through the bustling hoard of people that are piled into the London penthouse where the afterparty is taking place.
"No," I shake my head, looking down at my heeled feet to make sure that I don't trip and eat shit in front of everyone. "In London. In England,"
Squeezing my hand once, Harry flashes me another cheesy grin that showcases the two perfect dimples that pop in his cheeks.
"Oh, well, we are being spontaneous, right?" My shoulder crushes into his back as he pulls me closer while trying to navigate the swarm of other notorious faces. "That's what you said when you decided to come here with me, that we were being spontaneous,"
"I guess," I reply, holding his hand as tight as I can to the point where our skin is growing clammy against one another. "There is spontaneous and then there is flying across the world with a global superstar that you've known for all of two months,"
He smiles at me, a genuine one that settles the anxiety in my stomach and causes me to mirror him with a familiar grin that's barely left my lips these last two months.
"When you know, you know," He whispers under his breath.
I pretend that I don't hear him over the loud music as Harry guides me further through the afterparty for the British Fashion Awards that he attended and won the British Style Award.
Fitting given his surname.
I didn't actually walk the carpet with him since we are keeping our... whatever this is... under wraps for the time being. Harry is way more famous than I am and his fan base is almost insane with the sheer size of it.
He is in the biggest boyband in the world, he is one of the most wanted men out there. Everyone and their mother fawns over the likes of him and somehow, I am his plus one to this event.
I am just Arlie Addams, an Australian actress who is only really a household name in Australia and has somehow landed myself in London at the afterparty of the month.
On none other than Harry Styles' arm.
Lately, I have been getting a load of imposter syndrome, I feel like I don't fit into this life I have. That I don't deserve it.
This sort of adventure is meant for someone other than me. Someone who has earnt it. Someone that can fully enjoy it and Harry without their mind getting in their own way.
His hand holds mine and sometimes I feel like I am outside of my own body watching the two of us and those little lovesick grins that are plastered on our faces and all I find myself able to wonder is how long this will last.
I am constantly waiting for the ball to drop.
For the act to be done.
For Harry Styles to get bored of me.
Because I am just Arlie.
But then on the other side of things, I am falling so deeply in love with him with each passing day that I can't possibly see myself having a future that he isn't a part of. Each time he smiles at me it's like the stars have come out to shine. Each time that his hand fits with mine perfectly I think that this is it.
This is going to be the person who I am glued to for the rest of my life.
I don't believe in anything much these days. But I do believe in you, Harry.
When we first met, I knew who he was obviously.
I remember seeing him from across the room as his smug little grin rests on his pink lips and his eyes flick around the room while in conversation with Niall. The second that they landed on me standing with Priya in the corner, his grin grew and he dismissed his friends to approach me.
We spent that whole night talking and I haven't spent a day without him since.
I don't think I want to either.
"Arls," He mumbles quietly, leading me out of the penthouse and into the quiet elevator before pressing a button and waiting for it to move before continuing to speak. "You can tell people, I don't mind, it's whether you mind."
I shrug, letting his hand pull me closer to him so that I am pressing his body into the cold steel back wall of the lift that is going back down.
"I don't know what I would be telling them when they ask that though,"
"What do you want to tell them?"
I shake my head, pursing my lips before a coy smile takes over. "Don't do that!"
"Do what?" He lifts his hands in surrender but since I am holding onto both of them, mine follow suit to hand around his head. "I don't know what you're on about?"
The teasing in his voice subsides when I lean in and kiss his lips. Melting into him, I feel the anxiety of the party leave my body as I give in to all that he is.
When I pull away, Harry tugs me closer again and captures my lips once more until the pinging chime of the elevator interrupts us before the doors slide open on the ground floor.
"You're my girl. Just tell them that, okay, Trouble?" His lips brush up against mine as he speaks softly, his hand reaching up to tuck one of my messy waves behind my ear.
I nod, grinning even though I bite my teeth into the side of my cheek to suppress it. The happiness is far too great to ever cage it, however.
"Why do you keep calling me trouble? I'm a delight,"
"Because you always end yourself up in trouble somehow," Nonchalantly replying, Harry leads me back out onto the frosty streets of London and holds his hand out to hail one of the passing cabs down. "Point proven with how I left you alone for five minutes and you were getting interrogated by that scary lady,"
I nod, seeing his point.
Cuddling further into his side, I desperately try to rob some of his body heat while running my hands up and down his sides under his jacket to stop the shivering.
"Who even was she anyway?"
"No clue," He hums, shrugging off his jacket without a word and moving to drape it over my shoulders. "I've never seen her before in my life,"
I take the collar of the jacket and wrap it tighter around me. "Thank you,"
"No problem," He whispers, pressing his lips into the top of my head as a black London cab rolls to a stop just in front of us.
"She was persistent," I mutter to him as he opens the back door of the cab and holds his arm out to motion me into the backseat.
"They'll do that to you... reporters..."
Following behind me, Harry leans forward to the plexiglass window and gives the address of wherever he is taking me before leaning back beside me in the middle seat so that our thighs are touching. His hand lands on my bare knee, massaging the skin with his thumb.
"She was a reporter? How did I not get that?"
He smiles at me and my innocence.
While I have been in TV shows, I am not exactly a big name and I still clearly have a hell of a lot to learn. But through these last two months, Harry has never made me feel inadequate for not knowing how some of this stuff works. He simply smiles and explains the ins and outs of the industry that I am so oblivious to.
"They can hide it well when they want to, Arls. It's not something to get upset over, it's not your fault,"
"I should have known," I huff with a small pout. "She was asking me a billion questions and I just thought she was being friendly at first."
"It's always the friendly ones you've got to watch out for," He says wisely, looking out of the window at the sleeping city that rolls by.
So far, London has been exactly what I was expecting. There have been paved streets, the classic landmarks and red phone boxes everywhere. Whatever I saw on TV as a kid has lived up to my expectations and I find myself actually really liking it here.
"You were friendly when we first met,"
Turning back from looking out the window, Harry's wild green eyes meet mine and briefly rob me of the oxygen in my lungs. I sharply inhale when he smirks.
"That's because I thought you were hot,"
Rolling my eyes at him, I bat my hand into his knee and groan. "That's not funny. You're a friendly person, Harry, but you're not someone to look out for so that can't be true,"
"How do you know I'm not?" He argues, just trying to be difficult at this point.
I roll my eyes again and shove his shoulder. "You're just being stupid now,"
"I am," He agrees when we stop outside of a neon-lit pizza place. Paying the cab driver, Harry opens the door and clambers out first with a contented grin. "Come on then, Trouble. Let's get you that pizza you want so desperately!"
I stop completely still while half hanging out of the taxi.
"Oh?"
Harry waits with his hand outstretched for mine until he sees the way that I have frozen still with his suit blazer jacket still draped over my shoulder and my mini dress riding dangerously high up my thighs.
"What?"
"I don't actually want pizza. I'm not hungry, I just said that to get that stupid woman to stop talking to me. I thought you wanted an excuse to leave?"
Harry's face drops momentarily before he bursts into another fit of drunken laughter. Bending over in half he slaps his knee and chuckles so loudly that his laughter bounces off the walls in an echoey chamber of happiness.
With a hint of confusion, I laugh and watch as the taxi driver pulls away and leaves us outside of the pizza shop which is empty besides the one younger guy standing behind the counter with a bored expression painting his exhausted face.
"Oh, well... we are here now and I quite fancy pizza so–" Reaching for my hand again, Harry intertwines our fingers that never seem to be disconnected these days and pulls me forward towards the light that is so bright it feels like it is scorching my alcohol-soaked brain. "Come on–"
"Jesus- fuck!" I curse, covering my eyes with my hand to shield my retinas from the unforgiving neon lighting.
"It's bright I know,"
I shake my head at him, letting Harry blindly lead me forward since I no longer have the ability to see.
"No, bright is a lightbulb, this is like walking into the surface of the sun!"
I hear a small chuckle before he whispers, "You're so dramatic, Arls."
When I manage to peel my eyes open, I see the topping options printed on a large board that is fixed to the wall above the serving counter.
Harry's hand fiddles with mine, swinging it back and forth cutely as he shuffles from foot to foot to keep himself warm.
"I think I am going to get a medium pizza with green peppers, chicken, red onion and pepperoni. What do you fancy?" He turns to me expectantly with his dimples chiselled in his cheeks and his eyebrows raised as a question.
I hum, scanning the menu and not seeing anything that particularly jumps out at me since I really am not that hungry and more so filled up with booze.
"I might just steal a slice of –"
"Nope," Harry shakes his head before I even finish my sentence. "I knew you were going to say that, Arlie, you can have your own! It's not expensive and–"
He laughs, finding my actions predictable.
When he laughs, I can't help but obsessively watch him and the way that the skin around his eyes creases or how the green of his eyes becomes almost translucent with the watery nature of his giggles. I love how his front teeth are ever so slightly longer than the others and when he laughs, you can see his dopey smile so clearly.
"I don't want my own," I pout, batting my eyelashes in a way that I know he has not been able to resist so far.
I step forward, squinting to see what the size of the medium pizza actually is before I hear Harry groan my name in disdain behind me.
"Arlie–"
"Harry–" I mock, using the same stringy tone of voice.
His arms snake around my waist from behind, cuddling me closer to him as he stares at the board just like I am. I hum in contentment and lock my fingers through his that are wrapped around my middle.
Leaning back into his touch, I feather my eyes closed and let the feeling overwhelm me in the best way.
Harry makes me feel safe.
"I thought I was your girl?" I refute, using his own words from earlier. "You can't even let me have a piece of your pizza?"
He chuckles in my ear before nodding into the crook of my neck. "How about we get a large and then you can have more than one slice?"
I nod, grinning at our compromise.
"Hmm? How's that sound?" His lips feather against the hinge of my jaw, lightly pressing a kiss there that sends a thousand tiny butterflies off in my stomach to flutter around and make my knees weak.
"Good..." I whisper, within seconds the desperate urge to feel more of him that would be deemed appropriate in this pizza shop. "Sounds good... or..."
I hold him closer, pulling on his arms to tighten his hold as I feel him smile against my neck and breathy chuckles puff against my skin.
"...Or we could skip the pizza and go back to your place?"
He nods immediately, untangling himself from me and dragging me away as I turn and give an apologetic smile to the guy working behind the counter.
"This is exactly why I call you trouble!"
His lips smash into mine as he hails another taxi. Gliding from my mouth, his warm tongue laps over the sensitive skin on my neck before lightly feathering an apologetic kiss to the crook of my neck that makes my breath hitch and fingers skin deeper into his shoulders.
Where the hell is that damn cab?
Present day...
Jonathan's lips attach to the hinge of my jaw, his body positioned behind me as he holds my hips and grinds them back into his hardening erection that is growing under his trousers.
This specific spot on my neck used to be such a sweet spot for me but now as his tongue laps against my golden skin, I can't help but shudder.
We shouldn't even be doing this, especially since we are about to have a meeting about the upcoming film in this room any minute now, but when I tried to push him away, a wall of anger and irritation went up and so I learnt to just stand there and let his lips assault the spot on my neck that is making my skin crawl.
"How quick do you think we could be?" He grunts into my ear, his hand slithering its way down the front of my stomach to between my legs.
Not quick enough, I bet.
My breath hitches in my throat when his fingers reach for the silver button on my jeans.
And I don't mean in a good way.
While one hand fumbles with the popper and zipper of my jeans, the other one fondles my tit with no grace or skill. I sigh, trying to become interested in his touch but now that the specific memory from seven years ago has popped into my head, I can't seem to shake it out again.
Parting my legs a little, I stay quiet and submissive as I let Jonathan run his fingers down underneath my clothes just as there is a knock at the door.
He doesn't pull his hand away, happy for whoever is about to walk in to see us in such a compromising position and while he may be okay with that, I certainly am not. Shoving his hand away quickly, I turn around from the door and quickly try to fasten up my jeans again as I hear the hinges squeak.
Taking a deep breath and checking that my clothes are still all covering the parts of me that they should be, I spin around with a large, welcoming grin on my face that soon drops when I see those damn green eyes that haunt me from years ago.
It's the strangest feeling; to be staring at someone who once held a world of possibility in their eyes and now they are a complete stranger who knows what my favourite pizza topping is or what song I dance to in the shower.
He is a stranger.
But a familiar one.
And that... is potentially the most terrifying thing.
"Hi, Arls,"
how are we feeling so far? i feel like it's about to ramp up so quick yous are going to get whiplash :)