Flight risk. [h.s]

020.

okay so massive TWS are as follows:

-drug abuse 
-talk of a previous overdose
-panic attack 
-vomitting

please put yourself first. as always, my dms are open <3 

★

November 29th 2016
4 years ago...

I have always known that I am in love with Arlie.

I knew from the way that her tired eyes droop at the corners from the lack of sleep the night before, but she still leans in to give me a kiss every morning before I leave for work.

I knew from the way that she grabs my hand when she is nervous and laces our fingers together so tightly that I think she might cut off blood flow.

I knew from the way that her laugh can inspire symphonies that light up the room with multicoloured stars.

I knew from the happiness that she brings me that I am in love with her.

There has never been a doubt in my mind that I have loved her so deeply from the moment that I first saw her laying on that beach while we played volleyball. I've never even paused to question it.

It's just a fact.

It's her.

It's always going to be her.

I love her with every breath inside of my lungs and I am entirely convinced that it will be that way until my heart gives out.

I love her.

I love her and yet I can't save her anymore.

I can't do it.

I feel like I have failed because Priya and I are her people. We are supposed to be the two people that fix this for her.

I'm meant to fix this for her.

Priya came to me first and suggested that we needed to hold another intervention for Arlie but when she vanished for a week and no one knew where the fuck she went or if she was even still alive, we finally realised that we were too over our heads.

She needs more help than the two of us can give her.

We aren't enough anymore.

My stomach churns with putrid nausea that has been violently brewing there since Priya and I started planning this whole thing. I've barely been able to eat or drink or even think straight since it became a reality.

I texted Arlie this morning telling her that I needed to take her somewhere and to my surprise she actually responded and said that she would meet me this afternoon. All things considered, she seems in a decent mood but then again she has no clue what the hell is about to happen.