YOU SPENT HOURS TOSSING AND TURNING.
Thoughts plagued you. Old and new. In the silence of a strange house, Jessa's panicked face haunted you. Bloody. Weakening by the second.
Between that and your fear of the future, sleep evaded you.
What if they decided you were lying? You had no way to prove your innocence. Jessa was the only other witness, and she was long gone. Jessa. Her image-filled your head again, but you no longer flinched at it.
You missed her. Tears stung at your eyes, but you still didn't feel safe enough to mourn properly. You were worried that if you started now, you'd be unable to stop, and you had so much else to deal with.
Your door creaked open, and you lifted your head off the pillow, smiling when you recognised the dark outline of your son.
"Can I stay here with you?" he questioned sheepishly.
"Of course, baby," you told him, lifting your blanket. Luckily the spare room contained a double bed. "You never have to ask."
He jumped in. You wrapped him up before pressing a kiss to his forehead. The both of you got settled, with you feeling much more content now he was within reach.
"I was really scared when you were sick," he admitted after a moment. "I – I didn't wanna lose you, too, Mom. I've already lost Aunt Jessa."
A pang shot through you, both because of his sadness and because you knew the feeling well.
You placed your hand on his back. "I know it hurts. Losing her." You swallowed thickly, throat tight. "I hurt too. But I'm okay now, so we'll get through it together."
Reasons like this were why you found it hard to be a mother. You didn't really want to talk about Jessa's death. You weren't ready for it. But you had no choice when it came to Mithun because you didn't want him to suffer alone. You had to be there for him. Of course, Nico said he'd speak with him, so you knew he had an outlet, but you didn't want him to feel like you weren't an option.
"You're stronger now, though, right?" Mith said hopefully. "You're part shifter, so it won't happen again. You heal like me. You might not even age anymore!"
You blinked into the room's darkness, highlighted only by the glow of moonlight.
That honestly hadn't occurred to you.
"Uh, yeah. Maybe," you stuttered out, pressing another kiss to his head. You had too much on your mind to add potential immortality to it. You'd get to that another day. "Get some sleep, baby. Tomorrow is a big day."
"I'm gonna meet my biological mother." His voice wobbled from both nerves and excitement. "You know she'll never replace you, right? Not even Dad can do that."
Something snapped inside of you. An internal dam piled up with insecurities. His words burst through it, soothing the dark voices which often told you were never enough for him.
"Thank you," you whispered, trying not to choke on your words. You squeezed your eyes shut, and a tear slipped free. You were glad he couldn't see you. "I love you, Mith."
He snuggled further under your arm. "Love you, Mom."
--
After breakfast, Nico offered to show you around.
He informed you that the cabins near his belonged to other high-ranked wolves. The one directly opposite his was Rian's. Although, he didn't use it much since he slept in the cave with the other single shifters.
Speaking of the cave, he took you there next. The opening was much larger than the one you stayed in at the retreat, around the height of his house and twice as wide. Greenery hung over the top, halfway down.
Inside you were greeted with a long, wooden table in the middle of the cavern. A chair much fancier than the rest sat at the top. For the alpha, you assumed.
"This is where we hold meetings," Nico told you, although it was unnecessary. You had figured that much. "Over there-" he gestured to an area at the back covered in fresh hay. A few shifters in wolf form rested there. "Is where some of the unmated shifters sleep."
"Is it a courting thing?" you wondered out loud.
Nico smiled. The sight of it flustered you. "No. As I said before, they prefer to stay close. Mated shifters and shifters with families have each other to look out for them. Mates also prefer privacy. For. You know," he coughed awkwardly, lips still curved. "Single shifters don't have that protection, so they watch out for each other. A wolf is most vulnerable when they sleep, after all."
"Pretty sure that goes for every creature," you commented dryly.
Mithun snorted next to you.
Nico gave you that look—a triad of astonishment, amusement, and frustration.
"That mouth." He shook his head. "What am I gonna do with you?" he asked rhetorically with a cluck of his tongue.
You flushed at that, ducking your head and ignoring the glittering in your belly.
"I kinda liked the idea of my parents getting together," Mithun commented to no one in particular. "But now I'm having second thoughts. Listening to you flirting is gross," he finished, fake gagging.
Nico laughed out loud. The sleeping shifters raised their head at the sound, giving him a strange look. "In a few years, you won't find flirting with boys or girls gross."
Mith made a face. "I won't have time for a boyfriend or girlfriend," he states. "I'll be too busy working my way to the top!"
There was a proud glint in Nico's eye.
"Glad to hear it," he nodded in approval. "However, relationships and feelings have a habit of sneaking up on you when you least expect it," he said knowingly. "Once they're there. . .it's impossible to ignore." He shifted his gaze to you, giving you a slow once over, which you felt all the way to your toes.
Your kid rolled his eyes, groaning. "You're doing it again!"
You choked on a laugh, cheeks burning. Gods. It wasn't fair. You didn't stand a chance. He was so damn charming!
"Sorry," Nico said, not looking at all apologetic. "I just love how flustered your mom gets." He threw you a wink, and you shook your head, your cheeks so hot they almost ached with it.
"Stop. Before I spontaneously combust," you said, half-joking. You weren't used to such sweet words from a man. Whenever one had shown you attention in the past, they'd spoken much more vulgarly.
The Enforcer chuckled again, earning some more looks from his pack mates.
You wondered why they found it so odd to see him happy.
"Fine. Fine." Nico laid a large hand on your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. "I'll leave you alone." The hand slid to your lower back, leaving a tingling trail in its path, and you suppressed a shiver. Then, leaning down, he spoke directly into your ear, his breath lightly blowing strands of your hair. "For now."
. . .he was going to be the death of you.
--
You were almost at the church-looking building with the missing statue out front. This particular structure had intrigued you since you first saw it.
Mainly because it was made out of stone, whereas the rest of their homes were logs. The offerings out front also filled you with questions, as well as the two stone stands on either side of the entrance. One was sporting what looked like a woman; the other was empty.
As you got closer, you were mentally writing a list of everything you wanted Nico to answer, but a woman approached you before you could.
"Enforcer Nico," she greeted respectfully.
Her hair was black and piled into a bun on the top of her head, the sides and back shaven. She wore a beige linen top, short-sleeved, with matching trousers. It seemed to be the outfit of choice for all the shifters you'd met. Maybe because it was airy and light, or because it wouldn't take much to rip should they need to shift.
"Torey," Nico responded. You noticed how he spoke differently with his pack. His voice was harsher, with more edge and sharp corners. Less soft compared to when he talked to you and Mith. "Have you informed Aerilyn?"
She shook her head. "I couldn't find Hunter Aerilyn. Her pack said she left around two weeks ago. A moon cycle retreat, apparently."
Nico's expression turned troubled, his eyebrows pinched. "That can't be right. She'd have found me there and returned home." He glanced at you, explaining, "It's seen as disrespectful to interrupt a wolf during their retreat."
You nodded. "The shifters who brought us to you said the same thing. It's why they left us just before we got close."
"Right." Nico rubbed at his beard-covered chin. "So, where is she if she didn't return to her pack?"
"Could she have gone somewhere else to do it?" Mith piped up.
"It's. . .possible," Nico said, despite sounding against the idea. He blew out a breath and asked Torey, "Did none of their pack search for her when she failed to return?"
Torey shifted nervously on her feet. It made you feel slightly better, knowing even shifters struggled with Nico's full attention. "They didn't have a reason to. They thought she was on her retreat. . .Even if they try to search for her now, the rain would have washed away her scent."
"Dammit," he cursed under his breath. "Thank you for going to retrieve her. Dismissed."
She bowed her head before scurrying away.
"What now?" you asked.
"It's not up to me to organise a search party," he admitted, sounding frustrated. "I'll have to convince her alpha."
You scrunched your nose because it didn't seem like her pack had taken enough action. "And if they decide not to?"
Nico's voice darkened. "Then I'll go against his wishes and do it anyway."