The title doesn't make sense but I wrote it anyway. Basically Bucky asked Wanda to put a spell on him so he could get drunk because he was jealous of Tony.., and because Wanda is new to the spells and stuff she kinda messed up and turned into a baby (3 years old) for 24 hours...
DONT BLAME ME BLAME WANDA
Word count: 2791
Bucky's pov:
I'm walking to Wanda's room because I need to get drunk today. Tony is throwing his weekly birthday non birthday parties daily and I just want to get drunk again.
I forgot how it works and feels. I don't remember it bad as everyone does. I want to feel and be drunk.
So I'm making Wanda to give me a potion or whatever witchy stuff she has so I could get drunk tonight.
Thing is, she doesn't really like me. I once punched vision and it make kind of a hole in his head that took months to fix, and she hated me since then.
I open her door because she always knows when we're coming to her room. "What do you need, Barnes?" She asks.
"I need something to make me get drunk tonight. To kinda stop that part of the serum" she smiled "that's something I never did before, but I can try that for you. I've been feeling productive lately" she goes to her spells book.
She says a few things in sokovian and she adds some shit to a bottle. The lights start flickering and I feel my hairs jumping up a bit.
In one final motion with her hand the lights turn normal and my hair goes down. "That was crazy" I say practically terrified.
"I know" she mutters. Um what was that? "You know? Aren't you supposed to know how to do magic??" I'm a little bit freaked out.
"I know how to do magic!" She's getting defensive. "Drunk it 10 minutes before the party! It's good. It's ready. Now get out you wanna be Harry styles" she opens the door with her hand.
I take the potion and I leave but just a second before I'm fully out I say "just know that I prefer Taylor swift"
~10 minutes before the party~
Okay I've taken it. I don't feel strange. I feel normal.
I'm already dressed up. "Hey- oh baby you haven't heard?" Y/n comes in and looks at me.
"Heard what?" She's not dressed up. Why? Tony asked to and last time I did not end well.
"Morgan is asking for Tony so he canceled the party. It'll end tomorrow instead of today. Instead of a week- birthday non birthday parties it's a seven day birthday- non birthday parties"
Fuck. No. Really? Wait. Am I going to be okay without drinking because of the potion? I gotta go to Wanda.
I stand up and I feel dizzy. "Woah, are you okay James?" Y/n holds my right arm. "I-"
I feel my eye kids falling shut and me to the ground"
Y/n's pov:
Where's James? He just fell to the fucking ground. And not all there's left is his clothes "Mmm"
What the fuck??? "James?" I whisper. "Are you in the walls"
"Mmm" I look down and see a fucking toddler. EW. Kids gross me out. Good thing the red room took care of that part.
"James?" I bent down carefully to now scare him. "Yes. Can I sweep" what does he want to sweep? Why does a 3 year old want to swee- oh sleep. Sleep. He wants to sleep.
"James no, stay awake I have questions. Why are you a baby?" He clings to me and sits on my lap. "Because my bithday is in twee months" god I hate this adorable baby voice.
It's so weird holding him as a child while I've seen his grown up big hard dick. I could never look at the normal James again. But what if it's permanent?
I go to ask more questions but I just hear him softly snoring. Omg he lied!!! He did snore since he was a kid. Just that he snores like a cute baby and now he's snoring like a big truck trying to hit you on your death bed.
I softly stand up and wrap my arms around him so he wouldn't fall. I start to walk to Wanda's room because maybe she can help me with this curse or something.
"Hey y/n- when did you have a baby?" She asks me. "It's James. One second he was a big man and now he's 3 sleeping on me. I don't think I like this feeling"
"Oh fuck" what was that now "fuck what? Do you know what happened?" She hold a finger at me and goes to her book.
"Look so he came to ask for a potion so he could get drunk..." okay typical. "And I accidentally gave him a different one" she smiles.
"How can you!- how can you switch the spells?" I hold myself from screaming. "It had a very similar name in sokovian. Don't yell at me" she says
I take a deep breath. "When will it wear off? If it'll wear off" I ask her. She opens her book again. "I need to make another potion and he needs to drink it now or else it'll be permanent and he'll a baby forever. If hells drink it then it'll wear off in 24 hours" NOO he's taking the fucking potion.
"Potion now!" She makes it very quickly because she doesn't admit it, but she's scared of me.
Like everyone.
"Here" "good, now next time look very carefully when you make potions" I say and close the door without another word.
Wanda and I aren't friends. She's done bad things to James since he was brainwashed and punched vision.
I go back to my room and sit on the bed. "Wake up you... sunshine" I try to wake up mini James.
"Mom?" Ew fuck no. "No it's, y/n. Drink this or I'll take your toys" "but it's scary, mommy" well I can't correct him on that one.
"Shame. Now drink" he carefully takes it and drinks it. "Good boy- what are you doing" she snuggles at me more.
"It's making me sweepy" and he's gone again. What am I supposed to do with a sweepy toddler for a fucking day.
TONY. He has a daughter. He likes children. "Hey Tony. My boy. My man." I call him.
"No. Whatever it is no" ouch. "I'm so happy that you're willing to help. So I have a problem and James is a baby because of Wanda for 24 hours and I think that if I'll take care of him alone he won't be with us in 24 hours"
He sighs. "I'm on my way. It was a false alarm anyways and Morgan just wanted to yell at me for not being there when she ate salad. Typical Morgan"
He hangs up and I'm left alone till he's here. With baby James. Lightly snoring.
I start to stroke his long hair and he nuzzles into me more. He's cute. Not because he's a baby just because big James acts exactly like this. It's crazy. Wow I am his mommy-
Y/N HE IS A CHILD STOP
What am I going to do for 10 minutes? Oh candy crush! I start to okay and baby James wakes up a little. "Mom, pwease turn it off. It's making my ears hurt"
Too bad I'm not your mom, kiddo.
"Mom!" He starts tugging on my shirt. I position him off me and play more comfortably. "MOM!" He starts to cry.
I roll my eyes. If this kid thinks that screaming is distracting me, he should see what I'm making his older self do.
"Mommy!" I turn to look at him. Fuck James you and your weird mommy issues. "Yes... child"
"My eras hurt, please stop putting the music on" "fine"
I silence it all the way down and continue playing. "Mommy" god the kid realised how to get my attention.
"Yes, nightmare" maybe I shouldn't call a kid nightmare but every second it's "mommy" or "mom" and he's been a child for 10minutes.
Really liked him more when he was sleeping. "Can I sleep on you?" Oh wow James definitely hasn't changed since he was a baby.
"Fine, son of the devil. Come" he giggles at my insult and starts to climb on me. He buries his head in my boobs and I do wonder if big James's mommy issues are bigger than I assumed they are.
"You're funny, mommy" "yeah well if you don't sleep in 2 minutes funny mommy won't be here no more"
In exactly seconds the child is asleep. "Hey" Thank god Tony came. "Take this rat away from me" I drop my phone and point at mini James.
"You're the worse mother of the year" "but the best mommy" "what?" "Don't ask"
He takes the toddler and starts rocking him back to sleep. God how can he did that with something that was a result of sex?
"Can you stay with him for 24 hours? I have to run errands" I stand up grabbing my empty bag and walk to the door. "What errands?"
"None of you business"
~
21 hours and a half till the curse is over
I'm sitting on the roof running "errands" while scrolling through TikTok. God it's been the quietest 2 hours of my life.
I'm shocked that Tony hasn't suspected anything- "y/n I will kill you" I was wrong, my apologies.
"Oh Tony, you didn't get my message? I wanted you to come here so he could see the sunset" I lie.
I look at mini James and he's doing grabby hands and is crying like a maniac. "Tony!" I whine. "You broke my finance. You have to fix him"
"He just wants his mommy" he says leaning to give him to me. "I am highly allergic to babies sorry" I step back.
"Good thing that he's a toddler. Now take him" he puts him in my arms and walks away. Baby James starts crying and Tony is running away like a little bitch. "I'll find you and I'll stab you nonexistent heart"
James giggles. "Oh this makes you laugh, monster? What also makes you laugh? When I... wish I could take a bat and make you eat it" he giggles more and louder.
"That I want you to try and fly but you'll fall and die?" He laughs harder. Wow I am good with babies.
"Alright so what do you wanna do, stinky" he smells something and then he begins to tear up. "Child of death, I was trying to be nice, maybe you're not regular to this but I was trying to. Just shut up and never think of making that awful sound again"
"I need to showar" I swear to god once big James comes back I'm going to torture him with Sweep and Showar.
"Let's go showar" I go to Wanda's room and open it. I see wanda and vision in the middle of it and she's looking at me horrified with the sheets covering her.
"Y/n brought a baby when there a sock on the door?" She says. I shrug. "You started this mess, you'll clean this mess... literally. He needs to shower and if I want to see big James's dick again I can't see his tiny one. You do it"
I hand him to her and walk to the door just a cm from closing. "Mommy I'll miss you" this clingy adorable chest eater. "Sure" and I walk away.
12 hours till the cruse is over
Who knew that showers makes babies want to sleep even MORE than they do. And who knew that babies can snore THAT loud when they sleep.
I certainly didn't.
I am paralysed on the bed because little James thinks that boobs are pillow and every time he isn't on them he cries.
"Mommy" he wakes up. "Yes, infant" "can you play with my hair? I can't sweep" liar liar pants on fire you slept for 5 hours after I had to feed you pizza and then you almost choke to death.
I was this close to letting you die but then I saw my engagement ring.
"Sure" I start to stroke his soft long brown hair. He hums and snuggles closer and soon he's fast asleep.
8 hours till the curse is over
"Mommy I'm hungry" he tugs my pants. God he can walk to Steve who's in the kitchen can't he. "Here's Steve. Go ask him. Mommy's busy"
I'm playing Candy Crush again. "Okay fine" he walks to Steve but falls on his way. He starts crying and for some reason it sounds to similar to James's crying to I run to him.
"Are you okay, burden from hell?" I take up and out him on my lap. "Yeah... I'm a big boy" he smiles as I clean up his tears.
"Yes you are. And big boys deserve big food. Do you waaaant pasta?" I say knowing it's always been his favourite food.
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" He jumps up. I smile and look up to see Steve. "Tell anyone about this and I'll murder you and Natasha once she comes back from her mission" I stand up and clean my throat.
~
7 hours till the curse is over
Apparently I'm not such a good cook and it took me 3 times till I made eatable pasta but hey third times a charm right?
We're sitting in front of the tv and I'm about to out The Originals but then remember the issue that's sitting on my knees.
"Let's watch a movie!" He throws his hands around. "Rule number one, Living demon. If you want something m, don't yell it. It makes me hate you more" he nods.
I put Tangled on for him because that's big James's fav movie. And secretly mine but I'll die before I'll actually admit that to him.
~
3 hours till the curse is over
I gave the child to Sam and it seems that they're having a good time because I haven't got a phone call saying "he's crying for mommy" in 3 hours.
And now I'm getting a call from Sam. I gotta stop jinxing myself. "Hey so I made him a toast and he threw it and started crying. What should I do"
This dumbass. "You worthless creature, he hates toasts. He likes pastas and soup he's a picky eater"
I stand up and start walking to the kitchen from my bedroom. "God, no wonder that you're a bird. You have no brain" James is doing grabby hands again and I pick him too naturally.
I open the fridge and with one hand I warm his pasta and put little sprinkles of cheese on it because it makes him feel like it's a birthday pasta.
And obviously I put him down to eat.
"You seem to know him" Sam smirks from the side of me. "Ever you ever met big James? He's react the same way if you'd given him a toast. The man doesn't like to eat... well he liked to eat me-" "STOP IT!" He runs away covering his ears.
James giggles and continues to eat.
3 minutes till the curse is over
I want to cry. He just told me that he loves me and he's sleeping on my chest about to never come back forever.
He told me that he loved me when I was walking with him to my bedroom to get him ready to sleep.
I told him "Mean Devil in disguise, I love a part of you too" but I love all of him. He's so perfect and precious.
I wake him up a little with a kiss on the forehead. "Mommy I'm tired"
"Listen, you Pillock. I want to tell you that I cherish you and that I love you so so much" I kiss his head again.
He smiles and kisses my chin. "I love you too, mommy"
1... 2... 3...
(Let's go bitch. Dive bar on the east sid- sorry I had to)
Magical thing happen and suddenly he's heaven as fuck and wide awake.
"Was I a baby for a few days?" He asks. "For one day but it probably felts like two because you were sleeping half of the time"
I say.
"I have so many questions but I'm hard so can we-" I shut him up with a kiss. Screw baby James, this one is so much better.
Tell me what you fav unique insults that y/n called baby James this imagine.