Evan's fears turned out to be unfounded. While he thought Ryan would want nothing to do with him anymore or at least avoid him for a while, he obviously had other plans. It was he who suggested to Evan that they meet and not just somewhere, but in a place that was special to him.
And that's exactly how Evan found himself on his way to Nowhere.
At first, he thought about going as a wolf, but the lack of clothing in Ryan's presence obviously wasn't the best idea. Moreover, he was determined not to give him any more mixed signals. Ryan was a good person, and it was time for Evan to stop abusing it.
Ryan arrived at the agreed place before him, Evan recognizing it from afar. All it took was one breeze of wind, and the intoxicating scent of his mate surrounded him, and Evan followed it like a cartoon character. He no longer had a reason to resist it, so he decided to stop pretending that his mate had no effect on him.
It didn't take long for Evan to see him. He was standing on the makeshift roof of the house where they once lay together, probably so Evan would notice him. And he did. He could already see from afar that Ryan was not his usual cheerful self. His posture was stooped, his shoulders drooping, and his black hair falling into his eyes as if he wanted to hide from the world.
Their eyes met from a distance, but Evan quickly broke the contact as he decided to join in the pace and make his way to the stairs that led to his other half as quickly as possible. He had no idea what exactly he was going to tell him, but he still wanted to take advantage of the fact that Ryan even wanted to see him.
Fate had obviously given him a second chance, and he wasn't going to waste it. (Although that was his specialty.)
The last few steps and he appeared on a stone surface, the sun's rays blinding him. He raised his hand to cover his eyes and then lowered his head, looking at the black-haired boy in front of him. He was no longer standing but sitting with his legs folded under him.
"You look like shit," he couldn't help but comment, and even though it sounded insulting, it brought a small smile to Ryan's face. But the other boy didn't respond, that is, not before Evan sat down next to him.
"So do you," he commented, his eyes running over his figure, taking in every detail of Evan's sad appearance. Evan tried to do something about it, he combed his hair and even used his mom's concealer and tried to cover the circles under his eyes, but it didn't help. He still looked like he had just woken up from the worst nightmare and it didn't stop even in his reality.
"I broke up with him." He decided to get straight to the point before he could change his mind about it. He knew this conversation would eventually turn to Kieran anyway, and he decided to be the one to bring up the subject.
To say that Ryan was surprised by his announcement was an understatement. He obviously didn't expect this to start their conversation, but his expression quickly changed from shocked to understanding.
"Why?" His question was simple, but Evan knew there was more to it. He wasn't just asking about the end of their relationship, he was interested in everything. As he said that night, he wanted an explanation.
"It was the right thing to do," Evan said out loud, and for the first time felt like he really believed it. It was probably Ryan's presence, but he wasn't going to tell him. Not when he didn't admit he knew about their true bond.
"I'm sorry." Evan was surprised by his words, but what surprised him even more was Ryan's sympathetic expression. He looked genuinely sorry, even though Evan could have sworn he thought it was wrong before. Everyone knew that the relationship between human and wolf was wrong.
"What for?" he asked him, mirroring his volume. They were both quiet as if their voices were about to blend in with the gentle breeze that kept them company at any moment.
"I didn't want you to get hurt," Ryan admitted and it took Evan a moment to catch his words. He didn't expect Ryan to blame himself for their breakup. Evan was convinced that he had to do everything to prove to him that it wasn't his fault.
"It was long overdue anyway," he tried to say in a casual tone, although it wasn't entirely convincing.
"How long have you been together?" he asked cautiously as if he didn't know exactly where the boundaries of this topic were. He didn't know that Evan was ready to answer all his questions, whatever he asked.
"A year," he answered truthfully.
Ryan drew a sharp breath. He obviously hadn't expected that answer, and Evan would have given anything to know what he was thinking at that moment.
"Shit," he finally managed.
"Yeah." Evan just nodded, not knowing what else to say to that. He ran his fingernails over his fingers, playing with his fingers to help him concentrate. It was still a difficult subject for him to talk about, but if anyone deserved an explanation, it was Ryan. Correction if someone deserved an explanation and could have received it. Kieran was the one to whom he owed the most explanation, but Evan had no idea if he would ever be able to give it to him.
Evan bowed his head for a brief moment, but that was enough for Ryan to reach over and put his hand on top of his. His fingers caught Evan's, preventing them from fidgeting.
Evan's gaze was burning them with how he couldn't stop staring at them and he had no idea what to do. Ryan's touch soothed him, but on the other hand, he knew he didn't deserve it. The touch of one boy should not quench his sorrow for another.
"If I'm overstepping your boundaries, tell me." Ryan's voice was quieter than before, but it still reached Evan's ears.
"I'm not sure," Evan admitted truthfully. His tone sounded fragile as if a single bad word could break him. He dared to raise his head and look the raven-haired boy in the eyes. They were watching him with undisguised concern.
"How did you meet him?" Ryan managed to surprise him again with a question. Evan expected anything. He expected Ryan to be angry, to want to know why he was dating a human in the first place, not to sympathize with him and ask about things that weren't negative.
Ryan understood his silence in his own way and quickly added, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
"No, it's not that," Evan answered him immediately, biting the inside of his lip, "I just didn't expect you to want to know more. At least not like this." As he promised himself, he stuck to telling the truth.
"I never doubted that you cared about him and while it's not traditional for wolves, I don't think it's bad. I just didn't expect it and maybe I didn't react the best." The moment Ryan finished, Evan started to feel sick. Ryan was taking the blame, which did not belong to him in the slightest. He was the victim in this case, although he didn't fully realize it yet.
"It's not traditional but that doesn't mean it's right. I already found that out," Evan assured him, thinking hard about his next words. No one grew wiser overnight, and he was no exception. He was still the same idiot who didn't realize the seriousness of his own decisions.
"Okay?" It was obvious that even Ryan didn't have a complete idea of what to say.
"I met Kieran at school." He eventually decided to return to the original question. Ryan nodded as a sign that he was listening and so he continued.
"I was a freshman, and I was still getting used to a school full of humans. Kieran on the other hand, was pretty popular at school even though he was only a sophomore. It didn't take long for me to bump into him. Literally," Evan chuckled at the memory, and Ryan joined him. Brown eyes flicked to him to make sure he was okay with his words, but Ryan seemed intrigued by his talk.
"My favourite place at school is the garden. I always used to hide there during breaks and the day I met Kieran was no exception. I remember something upset me that day, so I wasn't very aware of my surroundings and bumped right into him. He was just there handing out flyers for a school event he was helping to organize. I know it was something to do with nature conservation, but I don't know exactly what." He frowned and though he tried to remember, he couldn't figure it out.
"Anyway. I bumped into him, and he turned around. Of course, he smiled at me like I hadn't just crashed into him full speed and I kept scowling like he'd just murdered my whole family." This time his talk was interrupted for a different reason and that was Ryan's laughter. Evan found himself enjoying the sound and his cheeks quickly turned red.
"Sorry, sorry. Please continue." The black-haired boy quickly put on a too-serious expression to show him he was serious, and the corners of Evan's mouth twitched up. He was just talking to his mate about his ex-boyfriend and instead of it being awkward or unpleasant, it looked like they were both enjoying it. Or maybe they just enjoyed each other's presence.
"I was upset, so I didn't even apologize to him. But he didn't mind and started talking to me as if we knew each other. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. From that moment on, he always made sure that he spoke to me every time he met me. He got used to me being perpetually irritable and decided to make it his personal mission to find a way to always cheer me up. It wasn't hard to fall in love with him." Finishing his explanation, Evan only then realized his last words, but it was too late to take them back. His startled eyes quickly betrayed his inner panic, but Ryan didn't look like he was about to start screaming at any moment.
"I never thought it was possible," Ryan finally spoke, and Evan felt like hours passed before it finally happened. He let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding.
"What?" he asked like the idiot he really was.
"Falling in love with someone other than your mate." His tone was serious, but not reproachful. Evan blinked in surprise and what surprised him even more was that he completely forgot that Ryan was still holding his fingers. He realized it only when he found out that the nails that were gently running over his fingers were not his own.
"I had no idea either, but I wanted to try," he admitted. How this attempt ended, they both knew very well.
"Do you think it's the same love you feel for your mate?" Ryan asked curiously, and Evan honestly didn't know the answer. He tried to think about it, but he really couldn't imagine it. What he and Ryan had was not love in the truest sense of the word, although there was no denying that they cared for each other. He had no way to compare it.
"I honestly have no idea," he decided to tell him exactly what he was thinking. Despite his answer, Ryan looked thoughtful, so Evan decided to wait for his reaction. To occupy himself until then, he decided to reciprocate his small touches and started drawing circles on the back of his hand with his other hand.
"I think it might be," he finally said. "A lot of wolves don't even meet their mates because they live on the other side of the world. I see no reason why they couldn't be happy with someone else. Everyone deserves love." Evan was once again reminded of how good Ryan really was. He was almost too pure for this world.
"I think it's one of those things that a lot of wolves don't even think about," he responded to his words, though it wasn't the first thing that came to his mind.
"What's the other one?" Ryan's curiosity was back, though it never really left.
"Sexuality. I think everyone automatically assumes their mate will be of the opposite sex," he declared. He knew first-hand that such beliefs existed and how unpleasant they could be.
"Hmmm." Ryan looked like he was really thinking about his statement, and his face didn't give away what he was really thinking, so Evan had no choice but to wait for his words. "I think I'd be stoned for my opinion, but I think all wolves are pansexual."
And just like that, Evan was speechless.
He was so used to hearing different labels, but they never moved beyond the border of bisexuality, and certainly not beyond the border of his person. He was always the one who didn't fit into his world and the one who denied the natural living conditions of werewolves. And suddenly, thanks to Ryan, he felt like it was the exact opposite. That he was the one who found his true nature and that it was his parents who were wrong.
He almost wanted to kiss him.
The thought quickly brought a blush to his cheeks, and he quickly tried to hide it by lowering his head. But he had no doubt that Ryan had noticed. Fortunately, however, he chose not to comment on it.
"What do you think?" it was this question that broke the silence between them. Ryan's voice was small like he wasn't sure if he was crossing the line, but it was quite the opposite. He had no idea that Evan wasn't used to people asking him about his opinion and that every time that happened, his heart skipped a beat.
"I don't know," he admitted bluntly. The subject was taboo in their household, and Angie quickly learned not to bring it up, knowing it would upset him. Evan sometimes found himself thinking about it at night, but he always preferred to quickly distract himself with his phone before his thoughts could go too far.
"My mom always told me that love between mates is the greatest thing in the world. She always spoke in a neutral gender, and I got used to it, I guess. Maybe that's why I started thinking about it more." Evan couldn't help but feel jealous for a moment. He couldn't imagine his mother referring to his mate as them. It was a dream he had lost a long time ago, and he thought he was at peace with it. That is, until now.
"My parents are convinced that my mate is a girl, and they don't want to hear anything else," he decided to confide in him. He finally dared to raise his head again and Ryan did the same. Apparently, when Evan stopped looking at him, Ryan decided to give him space and shifted his gaze toward the forest.
"I'm sorry to hear that. I don't know your parents, but I hope they change their minds because of you." Evan smiled at his answer. Ryan didn't promise him anything, he didn't reassure him that everything would be fine, he just hoped. And it was more than he knew.
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Mates really are perfectly chosen for each other, aren't they?