JIMIN
I wasn't sure how I would feel after last night's drive with Professor Min, but I didn't expect it to make my anxiety skyrocket as soon as I laid eyes on him this morning. Yet, here I am, sitting across from Hoseok in the library pretending to finish homework when I'm actually feeling more nervous than before.
Ever since I left his car, there's been this feeling that I can't quite describe that has taken root deep in my gut. You would think that spending all this time with someone would calm me down, but it has the opposite effect— I'm becoming flustered just thinking about him.
Or maybe it's because we left things off so awkwardly. Maybe it's because I know one of his bad habits of smoking. I'm surprised I didn't know about that sooner, to be honest. Now that his secret has been found by me, I have this sudden responsibility to keep it as such, a secret shared between a teacher and his student.
The library is fairly quiet for a Friday morning, not that I'm complaining. As Hoseok finishes writing scribbles, he leans his head back and huffs. "Can you please give me a crash course in basic math?"
"The only thing I can give you is a crash dummy."
"I think that will work out better."
I shake my head and glance over at the front desk where the librarian— I assume she's the librarian because of the huge round glasses that take up most of her face— is in the midst of stacking books onto a black cart that squeaks so loudly a fire alarm would be quieter.
I'm grimacing so hard my eyebrows hurt as Hoseok catches my eye and grins. "I know, right?" he says. "This is why I choose to work outside. But mother nature decided to be bitchy today, so we're stuck here."
I glance back at the desk. "Does she not have anyone to help her?"
"Who? Mrs. Sumin?" Hoseok asks. "She had an assistant last year, if I remember correctly. I think she graduated and left."
"How long has Mrs. Sumin been working for?"
He shrugs. "My guess would be ten years or more. She's one of those faces that looks like they've always belonged here, you know?"
I nod and find her in the shelves, struggling to put back a book on the top shelf, so much that she has to stand on the tips of her toes and stretch her thin arms. I stand and quickly walk toward her, smiling and whispering if I could help.
"Hmm?" She scans me up and down. "You want to do the heavy lifting?"
Her voice isn't as quiet as I expected it to be; it's heavily accented with a Busan style, and memories of home instantly come to the front of my mind. I smile. "If I can help, then yes."
"You won't get paid for this," she warns me as I take a stack of books from her.
"Why should I? I'm not an employee."
She rolls her eyes. "At least you've got the brains to figure that one out. Aish. These kids think that the library is easy to work in, but what do they know? It's a lot more than checking out books and putting them on a shelf."
Even though Mrs. Sumin snarls under her breath and has a droopy face like a pug, I already feel comfortable with her. I have a feeling she's already used to me as well after we put away more books and I let her vent about how the next generations are growing up with no respect, and how back in her days, that kind of behavior was unheard of.
By the time we've finished, I've learned that she grew up in Busan, then moved down here to be closer to her husband and became a librarian here after injuring her leg in a car accident. It was a long time ago, she tells me, but I notice a slight limp in her walk.
I lean against the front desk. "I was wondering, um, if there was possibly a position around campus that I could work part-time for?"
Mrs. Sumin points to a bulletin board hung on the far wall closest to the entrance. "Administration will tack up any available spots on the board," she says. "Since the school year just started, most positions are already filled."
My shoulders drop. "Oh. Okay. Thank you."
As I go to return back to my study session with Hoseok, Mrs. Sumin stops me. Her expression is fierce, but softer as she looks at me. I'm not yet comfortable with her eyes on me, and I avert my own gaze. She grunts, then pulls a piece of paper from under the desk and slides it to me.
"If you don't mind a low pay and a background check, you can sign up for the position of a page."
My eyes lock on to the paper. It's a simple form I would need to fill, but it thrills me with joy anyway. I happily accept and borrow a pen, beginning to fill it out as quick as I can write. I double-check everything before handing it back to her with a smile plastered on my face.
She glances over her glasses, still skeptical, but softens when she sees me smiling. "Come back soon once this gets into the system."
"I will. Thank you so much." I feel as though I'm soaring. I've never felt so independent before, not even when I was first applying to Daegu University; that was my mother filling out the online forms on the claim that I shouldn't have to worry about it.
When I get back to my seat, Hoseok claps quietly and mimes a cheer. "You got the job!"
"I only applied for it," I whisper back. "I won't know if I'm working there for sure until later."
He flings a hand at me. "I still say you got the job."
I roll my eyes, but in truth, I'm thankful for his support. "Are we still studying?"
"Fuck no," he shuts his textbook and stuffs it in his backpack. "This shit will be the death of me. I'm tempted to ask Professor Kim if he can schedule a Zoom meeting with me, but I don't know when would be the best time."
I pause. Somehow the concept of online meetings completely slipped my mind. I picture myself talking with Professor Min on my laptop, wondering if he's tech-savvy or if he would press random buttons until something sounded right. I imagine us talking casually, the need to be formal unnecessary since only the camera will see us.
Chuckling, I stand up, slinging my backpack over my shoulder and leaving with Hoseok. As we get to the doors leading out to the stairway, I glance over at the bulletin board Mrs. Sumin mentioned. Flyers are tacked on, with one of them in the front informing of a debate club starting up. A colorful paper sits in the corner, the number for a nearby therapist posted in big numbers.
Then I catch a new flyer. On it is a picture of a blinking lightbulb and below it states the name of the event and the time:
TRIVIA NIGHT AT 8:30PM
"Wow," Hoseok drawls. "Overachievers all in one room. I bet you fifty bucks all hell will break loose when they start asking about Star Trek."
I can't help the snicker that comes out of me. "Yeah, but wouldn't it be fun? Witnessing the end of the world via geeks. You don't see that every day."
"True," he points to the bottom text. "And snacks are provided. Dinner and a show!"
We make plans to crash Trivia Night on a whim, and make our way downstairs swapping jokes back and forth like a volleyball tournament. Our laughter deflects the bitter cold winds that try to drag us down, and soon we come to a fork in the path. His class is in the technical building, but he walks with me to the humanities building anyway.
"You know you don't have to go in so early," he says playfully. "So long as you're not too late, you can show up after people have walked in. It saves you the trouble of not being caught in a riptide."
I shrug. "I like being early. It's punctual."
"Sure, but I'm positive Professor Min of all people wouldn't mind you coming in a little late."
Hearing his name makes me freeze. I pause, not knowing what to say. But the nagging feeling of curiosity gets the best of me. "What do you mean by that?"
Hoseok glances at me. "You always disappear into his room in the mornings. Plus, you waved to him earlier. I thought you two were friends."
An ache stirs in the middle of my chest. I pick at the end of my sweater sleeve, fidgeting as we walk. "Is that weird? To be friends with a teacher?"
"It's not unheard of," he says. "But it's kind of like being friends with an ex, it can be awkward for other people."
"Why?"
He chuckles and raises an eyebrow. "Not everyone is cool with their teacher giving special privileges, you know that, right? It's natural for some people to get jealous about it, especially when the pampering is done in front of them."
"Right," I say shakily. I'm torn into two. On one hand, I'm thankful Professor Min only shows his favoritism toward me when there's no one around to witness, but I'm also worried now that Hoseok has noticed his behavior toward me.
"But it's not hurting anyone," Hoseok says with a grin. "Keep getting on his good side, and maybe you'll pass with an 'A'."