Carter dropped me off at home ten minutes ago. Sadly, since we left the house, he returned to wearing his hood over his face. But this time, he didn't try and hide from me, allowing me to see beneath the hood.
I was stood in the living room, surrounded by my brothers and dad as they stared at me with an awaiting gaze. I messaged everyone on the group chat that I had something important I needed to discuss. Tristano looked annoyed and ready to leave the house, Tommaso was sipping on a coke, carefree as usual. Stefano looked neither interested nor uninterested, he was just Stefano. Antonio seemed slightly concerned, but allowed me space as he sat on the sofa with the brothers. Mateo was manspreading on the armchair by the window, no emotion on his face. Christopher was patient, having a calm expression on his face.
Now it was actually time to tell them, I couldn't find the words.
"Kalina? Why are we here?" Tristano sighed as he looked clearly bored.
"I..I erm, I need to tell you all something." I managed, fiddling with the rings on my fingers.
"Well can it wait, I have somewhere I need to be." Tristano said, standing up and getting his car keys out his pocket.
"Sit your ass down." Mateo ordered.
Looking up at him, I knew he could see the fear in my eyes. He could tell what this was about. He was expecting me to tell the others about how my mother beat me and starved me throughout my childhood.
What he doesn't know, is that I'd be telling them that and so much more.
"When I was six," I began. I had everyone's attention tightly in my grasps, most of them never hearing of my childhood. "My mother began drinking, really heavily. She'd whore herself around to feed her habit, and she did it more once she was hooked on drugs.
Every boyfriend she got would either deal or use themselves, all hating both Daniel and I as we were always in the way, having an extra two mouths to feed. They'd used to beat both of us, me more than Daniel as he fought back. Because he was a few years older than I was, when I'd be kept home from school cause I was beaten so badly and used as a drug mule, he never realised, and I never told him. After I was rushed to the hospital by Daniel for internal bleeding, and nearly taken away by social services if it weren't for the fact that mother staged a break in and made it look like I was attacked then, she decided on a new form of punishment for even the smallest mistakes.
She'd fill the bathtub up and hold me under till I passed out, wait for me to wake up, and do it again, and again, and again until she grew bored."
Looking up, I could see the fury and sorrow building in each and every one of them.
Christopher was shaking as he stared at me with a pained gaze. Slowly he walked towards me from his seat on the sofa, where all my brothers were spread out.
He gently wrapped an arm around my shoulder, before guiding me to sit beside him.
"Is that everything?" His voice shook with anger and fear.
He was scared of my answer, scared that his daughter would be more damaged then he already knew.
"When she got older, and less men wanted her from the affects of her addictions, she got less money from prostitution. By then Daniel had met the Chained Angels, and was working day and night to save money so he could get me out of there and give me a stable home.
What mother soon realised, I was maturing and was ready to 'earn my keep' as she said. So she'd take me down to the red light districts, and sell me to anyone who was willing to pay. I was ten when it began."
The smashing of glass caught my attention, looking up I saw Tommaso out of his seat, the glass in his hand now shattered across the floor. He turned to me with tears forming in his eyes. Walking towards me, he collapsed at my feet and laid his head in my lap as he cried softly, hugging his arms around my waist.
Tristano had a hard glare set on the floor, but it could see the twitch in his jaw. Stefano once again remained expressionless. Antonio was raking his hand repeatedly through his hair, gripping into it tightly. Mateo looked hurt, either by the fact I didn't tell him everything and lied, or that he didn't realise how badly I was actually treated.
"I met Spencer when I was fifteen, he was twenty. He found me passed out on the bathroom floor as he came to kill mother's boyfriend at the time for betraying his mafia. He took me to his house and cleaned me up. Me believing I couldn't be loved and in need of some comfort grew attached and he took advantage of that. After he kidnapped me, he treated me the same as every man in my life had before; something pretty to fuck. He killed Daniel when he rescued me, and took Enzo to punish me for betraying him."
I felt Christopher's grip on me tighten. He reached down and placed a kiss on my head, offering some type of comfort.
"To keep me 'desirable' mother often starved me so I remained thin. One night she decided to give me away to a gang as she owed them drug money. When I tried to fight them off they slashed up my arm so I couldn't fight, which is why I have the scars on my arm and hand.
When I was returned home the next day, they beat her because I didn't allow them to fuck me as they pleased. So while I was curled up on ball on the floor, injuries of my countless rapes still hurting, she cut me from my collar bone to right rib, and across the right side of my face.
She said it was a constant reminder of how I failed to please those who depended on me, and how I'd always be a worthless whore incapable of being loved.
When Daniel came to check on me the next day, he took me straight to the club and refused to let me return home. From that night forth, I lived in the clubhouse with Ace and Teddy, who led the attacks on every man that ever lay a hand on me."
Stefano got up from his seat, and took slow steps towards me, before tilting my head up to look at him. Tears were flowing down both our cheeks. He stroked my baby hairs back as he stared down at me.
"You're not worthless. You're not a whore. You're not incapable of love." Stefano sighed. "You're the strongest, bravest girl I know. And I can't describe how much I love you or how sorry I am we weren't there to protect you. But we're here now, and no one will ever hurt you again."
Pulling me up, Stefano wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. One by one, each brother took me from another and hugged me to them.
"Remember Kalina, we're here for you." Antonio said as he wiped his eyes. "We suffer together, as a family, you're not alone anymore."
"I don't care that you lied." Mateo told me when he saw the apprehension on my face. "I will never force you to tell me anything bambina. Ti amo principessa."
(Baby) (I love you princess)
"Ti amo." I grinned up at him through teary eyes.
"Non devi mai aver paura di dirmi qualcosa sorellina. Non ti giudicherò mai, sarò il conforto di cui hai bisogno e il supporto che meriti. Tu significhi così tanto per me angelo, non dimenticare mai che hai persone che ti amano e si prendono cura di te." Tommaso told me as he pressed our forehead together, before kissing the crown of my head.
(You don't ever have to be afraid to tell me anything little sister. I'll never judge you, I'll be the comfort you need and the support you deserve. You mean so much to me angel, never forget you have people who love you and care for you.)
When I got to Tristano, he didn't say anything. He only offered an apologetic look before storming out the house.
Christopher turned me away from the door in which Tristano left. "I love you Kalina." He whispered in my ear.
"I love you too dad." I smiled.
That night, when everyone had retreated to their bedrooms after spending the evening with me, all of us neither acknowledging nor dismissing what I had told them.
I've spent all night thinking about Tristano, the look on his face is something I'll never forget. The agony and disappointment I saw before he walked out the door. I knew one of them would likely be disgusted, I just didn't think it be Tristano.
As I laid awake in bed, I heard a knock on my bedroom door. Telling them to come in, I saw Tristano stood there. With an anxious look on his face, he closed the door behind him and crawled into my bed, bringing me into a hug.
"Kalina." He choked out a pained sob. "I just- I didn't leave out of disgust if that's what you think. I was angry- so unbelievably furious that I didn't want to lash out in front of you." I felt the tears of Tristano falling and landing on my bare arms. "Know that I'm the proudest brother in the world. I'm so proud that you survived all that agony and are still such a gorgeous, loving and strong girl."
That night, I fell asleep in the arms of my brother, safe from all the danger in the world, in my past, and hopefully in my future.