Hello, this is Arisa Frelldyll. The lonely gloomy girl who sits besides the window. Yes, that's me!
It's been a week since I got to this school, and since then I haven't found anyone who can be my friends. There are some who talks to me, and I also respond back to them though I actually didn't know if I should accept them as my friends or not.
First of all, and now that I am noticing it, every girls here have their certain appeal. It's not really attractive for me, but they have this air around them that always hits every niche of any guys, mobs or main characters alike.
This is actually my first time looking at each and every girls I met carefully, and all I can say is that literally everyone of them can possibly be seen on the main screen.
So do I stay as a loner type mob? I think that's the only thing I can do! I've already mastered the art of loneliness after all!
No! It's not even an option!
I don't know why, but everytime I imagined a female mob being a loner, all I see are an interesting character that will have their own main arc in the main story.
Which is bad, because I want to be an Eminence in Shadow!
How can I be a hidden power in the background if I literally have an arc of my own!? That defeats the purpose of being a shadowbroker!
So with feelings of hesitation, I have avoided a lot of people. Everyone who tried to converse with me, I immediately shutdown with simple, and concise words that kills a conversation. As for those who are just planning to do so, I avoid them entirely.
I have to think of something, and fast. I can't continue avoiding anyone. They will become suspicious, and any hero or heroines out there will become interested in me.
So now I'm in my room on the apartment I rented, the skies are dark beyond my windows as I look at the book in front of me. It's one of my personal diaries where I wrote everything I planned and also listed most of the things I wanted to do.
Most of it are full of cross marks and chicken scratches. It is barely readable anymore because I kept taking off ideas upon ideas whenever I tried imagining myself doing it.
Becoming friends with mobs like me are already crossed out. Other ideas like being rejected by my (supposed) crush is also denied. Being beaten by the protagonist is also one thing. Etc.
I essentially have to abandon all my ideas as a mob. It's a literal blank slate now. My ideal is slowly being broken for this past week, and I think my heart is in shatters while looking at the state of my diary.
"Aaaaah... I really need to think of something... how to become a convincing female mob who is secretly the all-knowing, powerful character?"
Hmm... I guess it can't be helped. If I can't think of something, I should just ask my good friends.
"That's why, I want your opinion on the matter..."
So I am here sitting on my bed on the following weekend. In front of me is an elf that is slightly shorter than me. She have a slender build and have a light blue hair that is styled into pigtails.
This one is Epsilon. She is the fifth member of the Shadow Garden. Obviously she is the fifth on the Seven Shadows. This elf is seriously amazing at controlling her magic. I think if I didn't learn to control my magic through the restraints of my magic suppressing bracers, she might have beaten me.
By the way, on an unrelated note, I managed to disguise these magic suppressing cuffs into bracers. It's part of my training so I always wear it since I got it. Alpha and the others are surprised when they saw it, saying I got some sort of artifact, though it's not really useful. It's just a training tool after all.
"You want to know how to better blend with your classmates?" With my nod, she smiled. Puffing her nonexistent chest proudly. "If it's Lady Shadow who is asking for it, then this Epsilon will surely share all her knowledge!"
And so I listen to her words. Based on her it seems like girls can naturally mingle with others if they have a topic or hobbies that both are interested in. Basically I should have something that complements the other party's interest.
Hmm... I see. That sounds reasonable.
Though that was anti-thematic to leaving the main screen. Her words are actually reasonable.
I recall some of the shows I watch on TV. Female mobs usually acts as cheerleaders for the main characters, regardless if they are protagonists or antagonists. They are always there to echo someone's words, or maybe give some useless exposition, or sometimes even there just to gush at how amazing someone is.
"Hmm... I see." I nodded, then look at her while feeling confused. She is looking at me like she is surprised. "What is it?"
"A-ah... no... forgive my impertinence, but it is rare to see you smile, Milady..." She bowed her head a bit deeper as she says that. Her voice turning into mutter at the latter.
"I see..."
Is it really rare for me to smile? I think I always smile?
I wonder what she is talking about?
_______________________________________
Epsilon can't help but feel her heart become warm at the sight of her Master's smile.
It's really rare. Their Master is always looking as if she is in despair. Her eyes are always downcast and she always have that solemn atmosphere surrounding her. It's not a shallow darkness that only worries about her daily life, because her gaze is telling something so deep that they can't read it.
Rarely does she smiles, and if she did it is always so beautiful. So precious that any of them wanted to eternalize it on the world.
They can only imagine the fraction of how much their Master is holding the burden of fighting against the cult. Always looking as if she is always alone, despite all of them being here.
The only times she have seen her smile is when she is curing those who are Possessed. She have the face of contentment everytime she does it. So they can surmise just how kind the girl is.
Since childhood, she have already learned of the deep corruption that seeps onto the whole world. Everything is held by the cult, and no one can help her other than herself. So she took it upon herself to go against this mysterious enemy. Taking the burden of destroying the darkness behind the shadows.
She barely have a childhood they can talk for. Every night she leaves her home just so she can train more. Epsilon have heard how hard she trains as if her life depends on it.
Even with their urging not to push herself, their Master shrugs it off and says that it wasn't enough. It pains them to see that same solemn gaze looking at them. That perpetually gloomy atmosphere that she always have that also have a hint of great resolved within it.
She admires her Master so much at that, though she really hopes to give their Master some respite.
She is still a human after all. She still needs someone to talk to. To socialize with.
So seeing her smile makes her feel so warm. As if she just accomplished a great task. More so than just defeating the cult.
It is unfortunate that the moment is brief as their Master, Arisa returns to her usual solemn expression.
"Thank you for your cooperation, you may leave now."
She says that with the same coldness that she was used to. Which means the time for rest is done.
Epsilon nodded before quickly leaving the premises by jumping away from the windows.
'I swear we will destroy the whole cult, and finally give you the peace you have been looking for!' She thought to herself full of resolve.