Previously...
Boat man, "You should quickly book an inn, it's not that easy to get one at this time."
Third Person POV
After getting off the boat they both went into an inn and luckily there was a room left. Jiang cheng, "Perhaps we should go check with other inns, they might have two rooms."
Inn owner, "Young masters, you must be new here but, at this time, you won't find even a single room in the other inns. You should quickly decide, I might give the room to others."
Lan xichen, "Fine, we will take it."
They both entered the room with jiang cheng entering first followed by Lan xichen. They looked at each other and said at the same time, "You can take the bed, no I'll sleep on the floor. But you're a sect leader!" They were both blushing at this point.
Lan xichen, "It's alright, as the guest you should take the bed."
Jiang cheng, "But as the sect leader of Gusu Lan, you can't sleep on the floor."
Lan xichen, "But as my gues-"
Before Lan xichen could finish his sentence, jiang cheng pushed him on the bed. "Since you already sat on the bed, I will take the floor."
Lan xichen sighed in defeat, no one can defeat the stubborn Lotus after all. Jiang cheng started to make a bed on the floor. After he was done, they both wished each other a good night and went to bed, turning away from each other, only that none of them were sleeping.
Jiang cheng, 'Why haven't I heard any voices yet, not that I want to.' Lan xichen, 'I feel weirdly calm, I usually panic at this time, not that I want to.'
Lan xichen, "Umm... Wanyin... are you awake?" "Yes." The both of them turned towards each other trying to see through the darkness. "Xichen, are you feeling any discomfort? I heard a useful technique to feel calm."
Lan xichen, "It's actually quite the opposite, I strangely feel calm, but I would still like to hear your technique." He sat up in a lotus position looking at jiang cheng. Jiang cheng lit a candle and sat up straight as well.
Jiang cheng, "Talk about it." "What?" Lan xichen was quite confused at what he heard.
Jiang cheng, "Talk about the thing that makes you uncomfortable, it might reduce the weight on your shoulders."
Lan xichen, "I..."
Jiang cheng, "My apologies, I have crossed the line." "No! it's not like that. I have never shared anything before, and those to whom I did, did me wrong... But I can try again."
Jiang cheng, "Then do give me a chance." Jiang cheng had no idea why he is saying these things, maybe it's because he is tired, he is just blurting nonsense.
Lan xichen smiled lightly, "Then do excuse me for I am going to rant to you, my distress."
Jiang cheng, "You are excused to do so." Lan xichen chuckled and took a deep breath preparing himself to share his emotions.
Lan xichen, "Well, as you know da-ge... a-yao and I are sworn brothers. We shared anything and everything with each other to the point that all my burdens were not heavy at all. When da-ge... died... it was a little difficult to cope with, but I did. I thought I could protect a-yao so even if da-ge is not there at least we had each other. It was not love that I had for him, I considered them as my family. When I got to know that da-ge was killed by a-yao I couldn't understand why he would do that. But I never expected him to die in my hands, and if I could kill my own sworn brother then I might be able to kill everyone close to me as well., don't you think?"
Lan xichen looked and jiang cheng awaiting his answer with his eyes which were briming with tears. He might not have told him every single detail, but it was still more than what others know.
Jiang cheng, "It has nothing to do with you, you killed a traitor, as a sect leader it is your responsibility to keep your people safe. If he could kill Chifeng-zun, then he could kill you as well. And no one is going to hate you for it. Being bitter over nothing has no meaning."
Lan xichen, "You don't underst-"
Jiang cheng, "Lan xichen, as a sect leader you have killed so many fierce corpses, consider him as one. You cannot talk to it and wait patiently for it to calm down. The fierce corpse will kill you if you don't kill it first!"
Lan xichen, "But he is not a fierce corpse. He is a person I trusted and considered as my own brother. What if I kill Wangji, would you tell me to consider him as a fierce corpse as well?" Lan xichen almost shouted the words out, he was breathing heavily with tears in his eyes, looking at Jiang cheng hoping to hear anything that could make him feel better. But sadly, that was not what he got.
Jiang cheng, "But unlike him, your brother did not go around killing innocent people, now did he? But that man killed so many people, why, he even threatened to kill his own nephew. Do you really think he is any better than a fierce corpse? All he wanted was power, he did not bother with the consequences!"
Lan xichen, "That's because people did not respect him until he gained power, what could he do? It's only normal for him to wish to be treated the same way the others are treated. Can you really blame him?"
Jiang cheng, "In this world so many people wish for various things, but there's a limit to everything. He was greedy for power, but he covered it with his pathetic excuse. If he really wanted recognition, there were so many ways to get it. Why did he have to take the bad path?"
Lan xichen, "Jiang Wanyin! Is this what matters to you, will you never consider the person's reasons. Is this why you kept trying to kill Wei wuxian? Cause he chose the evil path even if it was to help others?"
Lan xichen waited for some sort of answer, but when he heard nothing, he excused himself and left the room for some 'air'.
Jiang cheng however was quite astonished, he never expected to hear the most dignified and patient person, whose voice is as soft as a feather to turn into a sharp spear. He felt even worse when he realized what he said, he never meant to be harsh, but he knew nothing about comforting a person. And his tongue does not know how to say kind, caring and sweet words.
Jiang Cheng's POV
'Chengcheng, everyone can understand how much of a monster you are. Did you hear what he said, you are a self-absorbed heartless beast. It would be better if you died.'
"You're not wrong, I do deserve it." I saw tears falling on the bed. I definitely won't be able to sleep so I got up with an intention of apologizing.
When I exited the room, I saw Lan xichen standing near the railings, he was shedding tears. All because of me. My mouth must have been cursed while I was born. It only brings pain. I walked forward till I stood next to him. I didn't have enough energy to call him, so I clutched onto his sleeve.
He turned to look at me, sad. My tongue is to blame, so heartless. "I... am sorry, I did not mean to be harsh but..."
Lan xichen, "No, you made me realize how dumb I am. Just because I ignore the evil in him to focus on the goodness in him wouldn't make him an angel."
Jiang cheng, "No. As you said, everybody has their reasons, and I am the heartless one ignoring it." He turned towards me, and I withdrew my hand. "My apologies for hurting you. It was also very rude of me to talk about the former sect leader of Lanling Jin like that."
"No. You were not wrong. I'm simply too dramatic. He got what he deserved and there is nothing for me to mourn about. I was too into living in an imaginary world that I failed to see his true intentions. Thanking you for bringing me to reality." His voice showed nothing but pain and sorrow. I did not know what to do, so I did what I felt was right.
Third Person POV
Jiang raised his hands to reach his(Lan xichen's) face. He hesitated but ended up placing his warm hands on the cold jade face, brushing away the strands of hair that fell on his face. When Lan xichen raised his head to look at Jiang cheng in surprise, he simply smiled and held onto the hand on his face.
Lan xichen, "I feel so much better now." "I'm glad." They stayed like that until Lan xichen placed his head on Jiang cheng's shoulder, the hand he was clutching onto was now joined together with his.
They stayed like that until, "Wanyin, does this make us..."