You're fired.
I scoffed, trying to keep my expression calm. "You really want to do that?"
"Is that a threat?"
"It's a question. Are you sure you want to burn that bridge?"
"What bridge?"
"Hm." I shrugged, standing up and pulling my wand from my robes.
"What are you doing?"
"Giving you a chance to change your mind."
She prepared to take her wand from her sickening pink pantsuit before I aimed mine at her.
"Obliviate!" I hissed before helping her into her chair and hiding my wand.
"Professor Umbridge, are you alright?" I asked, my voice filled with fake worry.
"W-what happened?"
"You called me to your office and when I arrived you'd collapsed," I lied.
She prepared to speak but I stopped her. "Perhaps I should come back another time if you're not feeling well."
I left the room without another word, leaving her confused, as I closed the door, holding back my laughter.
I bumped into Minerva on the way back to the Potions classroom and she held my arms to steady us both. "What are you so chipper about?" she asked.
"Oh, nothing," I answered. "I think it's going to be a fine year."
"Even with the pink toad?"
"Oh," I chuckled. "Especially with the pink toad."
***
"You did what!?" Severus shouted after I'd told him what I'd done to Umbridge. He slowly moved toward me, taking my face in his hands as his eyes flicked to the locked door. "Are you trying to get yourself sacked, my love?"
"Sev, we've been over this. I will not allow her to treat me this way."
A knock on the door interrupted us and I quickly took a seat across from his desk, grabbing a stack of papers as Severus sat across from me and lazily opened the door. Her perfume filled the room and I tried not to gag as she crossed the room.
"I do not know what occurred in my office this afternoon but we never did get the chance to finish our conversation."
"Would you like to finish it now?" I asked her without looking up from the stack of papers, handing one to Severus as he nodded, trying to make it look like we were busy.
"I suppose so," she answered. "Your relationship with Professor Snape must remain entirely professional and, as I have already stated, I will not tolerate your storytelling this year."
"Seriously? That's what you wanted to say to me? Professor Snape and I are colleagues. Nothing more."
"But you've dated in the past?"
"Yes, and we broke up. Whatever else you've been told is false."
She cleared her throat, her sickening voice speaking once again. "Excellent. Then I suspect we shall have no problems this term."
"I should hope not," I answered. "Now can you leave? Professor Snape and I are preparing tomorrow's lesson and would appreciate no more interruptions. The students could really use to actually learn this term."
"Oh!" she exclaimed. "I certainly agree. I'll leave you both to it then."
With that she left the room and Severus shut the door with a wave of his hand as I stifled my laughter.
"Should be a fun year then, darling?"
"I certainly agree," I answered, chuckling as I mocked her sickeningly sweet voice.