A/N: This was two chapters originally but the first one was a little too short so here ya go: a longer chapter :)
"Are you alright?" Minerva asked as we made our way into the Hogwarts castle.
"Yup," I answered quickly.
"Y/n..." She stopped me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I know you. I know you feel responsible but you cannot take this on, dear."
"Minnie, they'll die if I don't go to him."
Her eyes widened as I spoke. "Y/n, you can't actually be thinking about doing this."
"What choice do I have? We knew this was coming, Minnie. If Albus has the chance at having another member on the inside... he's going to take it. He was probably going to ask that I join anyway. It was only a matter of time."
"Y/n, this isn't like choosing between pumpkin juice or butterbeer... This is extremely dangerous. You can't just decide you're going to become a double agent. It's not that simple."
"It actually is, Minnie. You're right, it isn't like choosing between pumpkin juice and butterbeer. It's choosing between children's lives and my fear. Their lives are going to win every time. I'm going to talk to Albus but I know he'll agree with me. I don't have a choice."
She sighed, knowing there was no point in arguing this. We headed toward Albus's office to let him know we'd arrived. As we turned a corner a flash of pink collided with me, nearly knocking me over.
An annoying giggle filled the corridor before the blob of pink looked up. "Sorry, dears. Suppose we should all watch where we're going a bit better, hm?" She giggled once again.
"Yes, it would certainly be helpful," I answered, recognizing the pink blob as she looked up.
"Dolores Umbridge," she said, introducing herself as I tried not to gag.
"Yes, I'm familiar," I answered. She held her hand out expectantly and I shook it, annoyed, but trying to control my facial expression.
"Y/n Y/l/n," I answered. Her lips pressed together in a tight smile as her grip on my hand grew tighter.
"Well, I certainly look forward to the year with you," she said, her voice increasing an octave. I rolled my eyes and walked away as Minerva followed quickly.
"That's the woman from Harry's trial! What's she doing here?" she asked, keeping her voice to a whisper as we reached the griffin to Albus's office.
"The ministry's interfering at Hogwarts," I answered as we ascended the staircase. It's begun.
***
I knocked on the door to the headmaster's office and it swung open quickly, revealing Albus and Severus having what seemed to be a heated conversation.
"Ah! Minerva! Y/n! Good to see you," Albus said, inviting us in his office. I looked back and forth between Albus and Severus, noticing the tears in his eyes that he was fighting to keep in. I sighed as the door closed behind Minerva and I.
"I take it you're talking about what happened in Knockturn Alley this morning."
Their eyes widened in horror as they realized what I'd said.
"H-how did you know?" Severus asked.
"Molly heard you. She didn't want to tell me but... Sirius thought I should know."
"Of course he did," Severus scoffed. "Suppose he thought it'd make you hate me more than you already do."
"I don't hate you, Sev," I answered, knowing he was still keeping up the act.
"You just can't trust me."
"Can you blame me? Wormtail's discussing killing children like it's nothing! That's the life you're involved in!" Suddenly it felt as if this was all getting a bit real as thoughts of his loyalty swirled in my mind. "Were you planning to tell me, Sev?" I asked, my voice cracking, though it wasn't an act anymore. Would he have truly told me what my father was planning?
"Honestly... I don't know, darling. If you do what I think you're about to do then I think we both know my answer."
"We both know it would be better for everyone."
"Not for you!" he hissed. "You'd be throwing yourself to the wolves!"
"So I should just leave Molly's kids to suffer? Tell me, Severus! What's an acceptable solution to you?!" My voice was growing in volume but I no longer cared.
"Y/n, I won't let anything happen to them but I cannot let you do what you're thinking about doing," he said, returning his tone to the familiar, deep drawl.
"It's not up to you. You don't get to make decisions for me anymore."
The words left my lips before I could stop them and his face fell slightly as the words hit their mark. This was all growing too real for either one of us to handle.
"Y/n..."
"Don't, Sev. We knew this was unavoidable. At some point Albus was going to request I become a double agent and we know I can't avoid my father forever."
Albus looked down as I spoke, knowing he'd already planned on requesting this of me.
"Y/n, don't do this... you don't want this life, my love."
"The advantages far outweigh the risks and you know I'm right. If you brought me to my father he'd be eternally grateful to you. Albus would have another person on the inside. I'd get to meet my family... and you and I wouldn't have to hide."
"I knew it!" Albus exclaimed as Minerva shook her head.
"Not the time, Albus," she scolded.
"Minerva! They're my OTP!"
She quickly shushed him, ordering him to sit at his desk and "hush up." I turned to Severus, a single tear slipping down his cheek. I moved toward him, wiping away the stray tear as he grabbed my wrist softly.
"They're not your real family, love. We are," he said, looking up at Albus and Minerva as he pressed his lips against my wrist.
"You know what I mean, Sev... Biologically he is my father."
"You don't know what you're getting into if you join this life, darling." His voice lowered as he continued. "I swore I'd protect you from this."
"You can't protect me forever, love. I had to face this eventually... I guess it's just going to be sooner than we'd thought."
"Please don't do this," he begged. My breath caught in my throat at the sound of his voice so broken but I couldn't give in.
"Did Wormtail give you a timeline? If I don't turn myself over... how long before he starts killing them?" I asked but Severus simply shook his head.
"It's not important because you're not joining. I will not allow you to put yourself in danger!" he hissed, his grip around my wrist tightening slightly, though not enough to hurt me.
"You'd do it for me!" I yelled. "Bloody hell, Severus! You're already doing it every fucking day! You can't honestly stand there and say that if the situations were reversed and Wormtail was threatening me or Minerva that you wouldn't do the same thing!" His head snapped up at this, looking back and forth between Minerva and I as my words sunk in.
"It's not the same thing!" He tried to argue once again but I could tell his resolve was failing him.
"It's close enough!" I answered, pulling my arm away from him. I took a few steps back, trying to clear my head as I slowly paced the room.
"Albus, you can't actually be thinking about this!" Severus exclaimed. At this Albus looked up, his hands clasped in front of him as he was pulled from his thoughts.
"It's her choice, Severus... but we all know she's right. Voldemort is going to stop at nothing to see her again. This could end one of two ways: if the both of you play your cards right we'd have two members on the inside or... if Y/n refuses... Well, we all know how that ends. Lives will be lost and it won't end with the Weasleys... Eventually Voldemort will come for her," Albus said, gesturing toward my still pacing form.
Severus huffed in annoyance, realizing he was being overruled.
"Y/n?" His soft voice pulled me from my thoughts as I turned to face him across the room.
"There's nothing else to talk about, Sev. If this means you hate me for the rest of our lives then so be it... but I cannot allow innocent kids to get hurt when I can stop it."
"Why would I hate you?" he asked, his eyes softening as he spoke.
"Guess it just seems that way," I answered. He shook his head, seeming appalled that I could come to that conclusion. He crossed the room in a second, taking my face in his hands and pressing his lips against mine. I could hear cheers from Albus and Minerva but neither of us paid any attention as he hungrily moved his lips against mine. He moved one hand to my waist, the other tangling in my hair, surprising me as he wasn't generally a PDA person unless he was proving a point or extremely jealous.
"I could never hate you," he murmured against my lips as he reluctantly pulled away.
I smiled as he looked down at me. "Then please stand by me through this, Sev. I need you," I said softly.
"Darling, I will always stand by you but this... this is dangerous."
"I know, love but we don't have many options right now."
His resolve was crumbling and I could see him preparing to argue again. I placed a hand on his chest, the other cupping his cheek.
He sighed, knowing I was right, and turned his face toward my palm, pressing his lips against my skin.
"Did Wormtail give you any indication as to when he was to begin attacking the children if I didn't meet Tom?" I asked him and he gently grabbed my hand, kissing the tips of my fingers as he held it close to him.
He cleared his throat, his fingers brushing the skin of my hand as he thought of what to say. "The Dark Lord gave him until the end of the year to convince you to meet with him before... before Wormtail is to begin completing his orders."
"What is Tom expecting you to do?"
"I was told to give you space but your father thinks that you'll eventually come around. He thinks... given our history... that we'll work it out," he answered.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm the racing feeling in my chest as I took a step back and turned to Albus, who spoke first.
"We have time, Y/n. The children are safe here. We have until the end of the year... we'll work something out."
"So, at this point, we're just avoiding the inevitable," I replied.
"Y/n," Severus began but I quickly stopped him.
"Sev, it's decided. There isn't a choice, love. You know we have to do this."
"You're insufferable sometimes," he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as I laughed.
"But you love me anyway," I answered.
"That I do, darling... that I do." He leaned down, gently kissing the top of my head. "If that's all the time we have... I'll take it," he murmured softly. "I'll protect you from this life as long as I can." His voice was barely a whisper, filling my ears as I clutched him tightly, knowing that once we left these walls we couldn't be together. There was nowhere for us to hide and now that Umbridge was onto us we would have to be particularly careful.