"I understand your concern but he wouldn't hurt you, dear. We both know that."
Minerva and I were sitting in Grimmauld Place having a cup of tea before we would be heading to Hogwarts for the start of term. No one had spoken of the boggart incident since it had happened and I was grateful to them for that. Minerva had been sent to ensure I made it to Hogwarts without any interruptions and I could see the sadness in her eyes as she spoke about Severus and I.
"Minerva, I understand what you're saying. I just... can't be with him right now," I said as a wave of guilt washed over me. I hated lying to her. I hated every bit of this.
"You two were perfect together... I just... I'm worried about you."
"Minerva," I began, placing a hand on top of hers. "Can you just trust that Severus and I know what we're doing?"
She gave me a curious look but didn't ask any further questions. "I just hope you work it out," she said.
"We will. You just have to trust me on this one."
She nodded and we began talking about the upcoming school year. Albus was being particularly quiet on who the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor is and this worried both Minerva and I. Remus, Sirius, Arthur, and Molly entered the kitchen, their lips pressed into a thin line.
"What's wrong?" I asked. Minerva looked up, noticing the glum expressions on each of their faces, which quickly changed as I asked them what was wrong. Each of them plastered on a smile that didn't meet their eyes, which only succeeded in worrying me further.
"Guys, what's going on?" I questioned again.
"Nothing, dear," Molly answered, preparing a cup of tea. Sirius took a seat next to me and Remus sat beside him.
"Nothing to worry about, pup," Sirius assured, placing a hand on my back.
"You're such a bad liar," I chuckled. He placed a hand over his heart, feigning hurt. "Seriously, what's going on?" I pressed as the sound of glass clanging caught my attention. Molly's hands were shaking as she placed a cup of tea on the counter, her hands gripping the edge of the counter, knuckles white as she slowed her breathing.
"Sirius?" I pressed.
He sighed, knowing I wasn't letting this go. "Can we talk somewhere privately?" he asked softly.
"Sirius, you're scaring me."
"Nothing to be scared about, Pup," he assured, his fingers gently rubbing my back.
I stood up and he led me out of the kitchen into the study toward the back of the house. He closed the door behind us and I could feel a pit forming in my stomach as I worried what was to come. He turned toward me and I could see tears in his eyes.
"Sirius, what's going on?" I asked him softly. He swallowed thickly before speaking.
"Y-you're leaving... everyone's leaving me," he whispered. His voice sounded so broken and I could no longer resist the urge to hug him. I wrapped my arms around his neck as his hands rested on my waist.
"Sirius... no one's leaving you... we just have to go back to Hogwarts... but you'll have Remus, Molly, Arthur... even Bill will be here," I answered, trying to remind him he wouldn't be alone.
"But they're not Harry... they're not you," he whispered, pulling away to look down at me.
"But Remus is here, too."
He smiled slightly at this but I could still see the sadness in his eyes. "Why did Molly and Arthur look upset, though? What aren't you telling me, Sirius?" I heard footsteps pass the door as Sirius continued.
"It's nothing, love. I was talking about getting outside. I'm going stir-crazy here and they're worried that I might try to make a run for it," he chuckled but I could tell he wasn't telling the whole truth. He had the same look in his eyes he did as a boy when there was something he wasn't saying.
"You're not going to, though... right? If you get caught... we'd lose you forever."
"You'd care... i-if you lost me?" he asked, that familiar broken sound in his voice there once again.
"Of course I would, Sirius. You're Harry's Godfather... and you were my friend long before... I don't want to lose you. You mean the world to me.
"Your breakup... with Snape," he began and I could feel my heart rate increasing once again. "Do you think there's a chance for us?"
"Sirius... please don't," I whispered, knowing that any answer I give would only hurt him.
"Pup, just... tell me. Is there hope for us?"
"Sirius, anything I say is only going to hurt you and I don't want to do that to you. It's not fair to you. Severus and I just broke up and I don't know that we're staying apart."
"What do you mean?" he asked. Merlin, I hate this, I thought to myself. I couldn't very well tell him the breakup was fake and that Severus and I were still together but I refused to give him false hope. I also knew that if Voldemort ever tried to capture him to use against Harry all of his memories would be on display for my father to see. I had to make Sirius believe this was real. I sighed, trying to find the right words to say.
"Severus and I broke up because I rushed to judgment in my haste to avoid facing my father. I was wrong to judge him that way... but I can't go back there."
"You weren't wrong," he answered quickly and there was a look in his eyes I couldn't quite place. "You were right to not trust him, pup."
"You're only saying that because you hate him," I answered, backing away from him, still feeling where his fingers had brushed against my skin.
"No, pup! I-I'm concerned for you! We saw-." He was instantly cut off as we heard knocking on the study door. I sighed, turning to face the door.
"Come in!" I called. Arthur Weasley stepped through the door, glaring daggers at Sirius.
"Molly wanted me to come get you," he said, looking at me.
"You sure you haven't been standing there the whole time," Sirius answered. He was laughing but I could hear the annoyance in his tone.
"Alright, you two, out with it," I said, causing them to turn toward me.
"What?" Arthur asked.
"You two have never been good liars. I heard footsteps outside but I just assumed it was one of the kids passing by because I didn't hear anything after that. It hadn't occurred to me that you might be standing outside listening. You just happened to walk in at the exact moment Sirius was about to tell me something? What is it you're so afraid for me to know?"
"Y/n... why don't you come to the kitchen?"
"Arthur! What aren't you telling me?" I yelled, growing more frustrated as they avoided my questions. I heard footsteps running toward the study as Minerva, Remus, and Molly stepped into view.
"What's going on, dear?" Minerva asked.
"Molly, what are you guys hiding from me? What don't you want Sirius to tell me?"
"Love, just come to the kitchen. We'll talk there, alright?" Remus soothed. I heard footsteps heading down the stairs before the kids entered the study.
"Is everything alright?" Harry asked. "We heard yelling."
"Everything's fine, love. Go back upstairs. We'll call you down in a bit, alright?"
I could see Harry and the others wanted to argue but Molly turned to them, giving them her signature glare and they instantly ran upstairs. I sighed as we made our way to the kitchen. Remus pulled out my chair and I took a seat. I could feel the tension in the room as the others thought about what they were going to say.
"Arthur and I were talking this morning and Sirius happened to walk in... That's the only reason he knows about this... we'd hoped to avoid having this conversation," Molly said, gesturing with her hands around the room.
"What is it, Molly? Just say it," I said, growing annoyed.
"I was in Diagon Alley this morning getting some ingredients and cleaning supplies and I saw... Well, I saw Severus heading toward Knockturn Alley. He was holding a small rat that looked an awful lot like Scabbers... or rather Peter Pettigrew... so I followed him. He took the rat into a small alley and I heard him having a conversation with someone I can only assume was Petigrew."
"What did they say?" I asked, growing nervous at the way Molly's eyes refused to meet mine, looking everywhere else but me.
"Peter was growing nervous as the Dark Lord's been increasing the pressure to find you and all the remaining Death Eaters are feeling it."
"Okay," I said slowly, knowing this wasn't the only thing they were all so on edge about.
"He uhm..." Arthur placed a hand on Molly's back as she struggled to find the right words.
"Molly... what aren't you saying?" I asked softly.
"I can't say it again... saying it makes it real," she whispered. It was one of the only times I had ever seen her look so vulnerable.
"Molly... would it be easier if you just showed me?" I asked, pulling my wand from my robes. She looked at the wand in my hand before nodding slowly.
"Just push the memory to the forefront of your mind. When the memory has concluded, push forward a memory of you and I. That will be my cue that the memory is over and to withdraw from your mind. I will go no further than you allow me," I assured.
She nodded and closed her eyes as I raised my wand.
"Legilimens."