My mind was racing with the fact that Will was alive this entire time. I was so fucked up and in my own head to even ask Colby what happened when I left.
Was my dad really dead this time?
If Will was alive, did that mean that Adam was still alive?
I didn't trust that anyone would be dead after everything that happened with my father.
"Julia." Colby said, breaking me from my thoughts. "Yes?" I asked and looked up at him.
"I have to do some work outside of this room, are you gonna be okay?" He asked as I caught my lip between my teeth.
"Are you going to leave the gun?" I asked as he nodded. "Of course. The door will be locked as well." He said then stood up.
"Okay." I said quietly as he put the gun on the desk in front of me.
"I shouldn't be too long. Then we can get some food and go home." He said as I nodded.
"Okay, please be safe." I said as he nodded and leaned down to kiss me. "I will be." He said then turned to leave the room.
"Uh..wait.." I said quietly, causing him to stop. "You okay?" He asked as frowned. "How did you almost die?" I asked causing him to sigh.
"We can talk about it later, Jules. I'm okay and I will be okay." He explained as I nodded.
I was scared that I almost lost him and that there was a chance that I could have been going through all of this alone.
I knew there wasn't a reason to be so bent out of shape about this, because Colby was standing in front of me unscathed but there was no guaranteeing that he would stay okay.
"I love you, Julia. We will talk about this later." Colby promised then left the room.
I frowned then looked over at the gun that was sitting on the desk. It made me feel weird that it was sitting here, fully loaded and ready to use.
I felt dangerous now.
When I was killing my own father, I felt numb. I was terrified that he wasn't going to die, since clearly the last time he was killed he wasn't actually dead.
Part of me hasn't coped with the idea that my father was officially dead.
It wasn't hard to stomach that idea since I thought he's been dead for years, but the fact I was the one that did it was hard.
I was the one that killed my own father.
He was a horrible person though.
The fact he took my life and made it a personal Hell was horrific. He let men continuously assault me and didn't care that he did it.
He broke me and that's why I had to kill him.
Then there was Will. A man who I have known for my entire life. He had Colby's trust and he had my trust but he did this to us.
I remember him apologizing the first night I was at the house. He knew what he was doing and he knew it was wrong.
So why would he do that?
I sighed then stood up, grabbing the gun and putting it in my waistband. There was no way Colby would be okay with letting me talk to Will.
He was fiercely protective of me which I appreciated but if I was going to get closure about this situation I would have to talk to Will.
I needed answers.
My heart was racing as I walked down the hallway.
I was still struggling with the idea of being alone and not being around Colby but after Colby told me he was almost killed, I was feeling even worse.
The fact he didn't tell me really pissed me off. I needed him and he knew that.
He knew it would kill me if he died.
I guess that's why he didn't tell me.
When I got to the room that Will was in, I felt my hands start to shake.
I was petrified of talking to Will since the last time I saw him he was forcing me to sleep with someone.
I had to talk to him though.
I opened the door, pulling the gun out just in case I would need to use it.
"Julia?" Will asked as I stepped into the room. "I'm so sorry." He said as I shook my head. "Why would you do this?" I asked, my eyes welling with tears.
"I didn't have a choice, Julia." He said with desperation. He wanted me to believe him but I just didn't know if I could.
"Colby would have protected you. You didn't have to betray him." I snapped. "You don't understand, Julia. Your father had me under a lot of pressure. I had to do it." He said as I shook my head.
"You didn't have to do anything. You could have warned us and we would have helped you." I said as he shook his head.
"It's not that simple, Julia. I wish it was. When Quill has a mission there is nothing anyone can do to stop him, even death." He said as my heart stopped.
"Is he still alive?" I asked, not wanting to know the answer. "I don't know, Julia. All I know that even if he is dead, there are others." He said as I scrunched my brow, my hands trembling.
"Others?" I asked as he nodded. "They'll come to kill Colby and get you." He said as I took a step back.
"I don't want to scare you, Julia. Colby won't listen to me and if I can do anything before I die, it's protect you and him." He said as I shook my head.
"How could I trust you after what you did?" I whispered, tears threatening to fall down my cheeks.
"I know it's hard, but all I want to do is help." He said as I clenched my jaw. "So now you care?" I asked, my voice breaking.
"You let my father do what he did, and you let them ruin my life!" I cried out causing him to flinch back slightly.
"You and my fucked up father ruined my life! You let those men touch me! You MADE them touch me!" I screamed, feeling myself starting to really break down now.
"Julia, calm down." Will hushed, trying to get me to stop yelling. "No, Will! Do you realize what you've done?! I'm fucking pregnant!" I screamed, my vision blacking out slightly.
"I'm pregnant and it's all your fucking fault!!" I cried out, pulling out the gun that was tucked away in my waistband.
I was shaking past the point of return and I felt myself starting to freak the fuck out.
"Julia." Will started to say as I sobbed, holding the gun up towards him.
I was about to shoot him but before I could, the door was swinging open. "Julia!" Colby gasped as I turned and point the gun towards him now.
"Okay...hey.." He whispered, holding his hands up. "I want it all to go away." I begged, tears falling down my cheeks as I turned the gun to face myself now.
"Julia, sweetheart...it's gonna be okay." Colby said and took a cautious step towards me.
"Make it stop." I begged, wishing the pain in my chest would go away.
"Put the gun down, sweetheart. Please." Colby begged as he held his hand out. I looked at Will, feeling the panic coursing through my veins even more.
What did he mean that people were coming for Colby and I? Was he being serious?
Who else was after us?
"Hey, look at me Jules. Right here." Colby said, causing me to look at him again.
He was much closer now so he was able to take the gun away from me. "Help." I whispered as he wrapped his arms around me, tossing the gun to the side.
"You're okay." He said and held me closer. "Please." I whimpered, hiding my face in his chest.
I thought talking to Will would make me feel better. I thought it would bring me some clarity but it turns out that it made everything so much worse.
Did I trust Will at all? Was he lying to save his ass?
There was a possibility that he was just saying that so Colby would keep him alive longer, but knowing how much Colby hated him, I don't think that's the case.
I cried into Colby's chest as he scratched my back gently. I noticed he was slightly trembling, which was surprising.
I didn't think he would be effected by my panic attack but he clearly was.
"I'm sorry, Julia." Will said as Colby's jaw clenched. "Don't fucking talk to her." He snapped, pulling away from me slightly.
"Let's get you out of here." He said quietly then wrapped his arm around me, turning to lead the way out of the room.
I led him lead the way, but I was terrified to even turn my back on Will.
I was scared shitless of him, but even worse I was afraid of what he knew.